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“The place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.”
That’s the dictionary definition, at least.
i bleed on paper
and call my thoughts
pretty poetry
but
there’s nothing pretty
about writing your own
eulogy
it was the first day in class,
you came in last.
you searched for a seat
in that moment my heart
skipped a beat.
She'd been dead only an hour and the stars have already welcomed her. She's silent as the warmth devours her, slowly and wholly. "Dance with me and let's pretend the world doesn't exist." they faintly whispered.
Will I ever finally get the chance?
To finally get the chance to experience true romance.
To know what it's like to finally be in love,
And to have the kind of love that I have been dreaming of.
My love given was not reciprocated
Gave you my all, only left with blank pages
Feelings expressed and not understood
Enough circular conversations and dead ass communication
When you feel that your feelings are so heavy and want to write but can’t find the words then you’ll know me
Out of everyone else, with you it hurts the most,
Because this was the first time in my life where it felt like we were getting close.
As much as I don't want to say those words to you,
“Why are you upset?
Why are you so angry?”
You never treat me fairly
Or kindly for that matter
Oh great I’m fu***** crying
And just like that, I found myself in the same situation once again,
Torn between cutting you out of my life, or keeping you around as just a friend.
You can't tell me that you didn't think of me the same way,
Silly me for thinking that you felt the same,
And for believing in love, but I know that I am the only one to blame.
You think I would have learned my lesson by now,
But once again, I am left here wondering 'how?'
Clouds roll in
As darkness falls
electricity dances over my skin
And the voice in the void calls
I scream out to reach you
Eyes deeper than the greatest forest They stare into my very soul. with the knowledge of the wisest sage. Dragging me back from the deepest hole.
Please be careful, we're very fragile. Not fragile like a flower,or like a bomb, But like a splashingwine glass, in the handsof a drunk, or a glistening glass pane, packaged by a careless worker. Glass hearts protectedby stone walls,flames dying t
And just like that, three months have gone by,
And I didn’t think it would be this hard to say goodbye.
But there is not a day that doesn’t go by that I don’t think about you,
I have heard people say that they were going through Hell,
And most of the time, they didn’t need to say anything, and you were able to tell.
In a world of darkness,
I am always told that the light will prevail.
Through moments of uncertainty,
What guides you will never fail.
Four years since the day that I have found out your name,
Four years since I have never been the same.
Four years since the first time I saw that smile,
You ruined love for me,
Because you made me feel like I could finally have everything that I dreamed it could be.
You found me when I was in the darkest place,
I am the worst person in the world because I am ruining life and not living to my potiental.
Everyone says that it will get better.
But i'm starting to get impatient.
I wrote this poem because i heard you're leaving
i know it's true but i hope that i am dreaming,
so i am asking you one more time please dont leave me.
It's a long shot
Some David and Goliath shit
If Goliath were a whole damn city
And everyone bet on David losing
And David showed up to the fight refusing
But I'll do it
As hard as it would be to hear it, sometimes I wish you would just have the guts to say how you feel,
Because you and I both know that it is what is real.
I know you want to tell me to leave you alone,
The dark green leaves swaying above us, as the wind softly blows.
The water ripples, making soft lapping sounds at the shore.
The geese puff up their feathers, squawking and flapping wildly.
The scent of sporadically yellow, acidic-rotten lemons
with a hint of fresh peppermint leaf in the air
In the bright summer of ‘82,
the beaming light of the sun grazes upon
The scent of sporadically yellow, acidic-rotten lemons
with a hint of fresh peppermint leaf in the air.
In the bright summer of ‘82,
Today I fell on the floor weeping bitterly
No, it’s not like the other days i had cried for some silliness you always do that I had known of
This was actually uncontrollable tears
5 months, trading kisses in my car
Your hands tracing hearts around my arms
Our lives, we knew would never be the same
Oh why’d you have to go and change
4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fall
I tell my therapist I think I am incapable of love
At least not with someone who will love me back
And maybe I learned it from my mother
Or the father who couldn’t love me even if he wanted to
And I don’t blame you
I remember when you said
you couldn’t love me
And at the time I was heartbroken
Beside myself with arrogant disbelief
But the truth is
I didn’t need you to love me
Another year older
Another day colder
The heat went out again this year,
Almost like a tradition
I’m single again
Almost certainly a tradition
And the pipes have burst
Depression is like a record player
With a new record every week
and it’s always scratched
Right at the saddest chorus
With all the saddest chords
Those who never pleased the lord
5 months, trading kisses in my carYour hands tracing hearts around my armsOur lives, we knew would never be the sameOh why’d you have to go and change4 weeks, that’s all it took for me to fallYour smile I wish I could forget it allYour laugh’s for
You had me at first glance
You gave me more than just a chance
You lit a fire in me that I can never defuse
You the artist became my muse
My slow reflectionwill be torn by desirewhen she looks at me.
She whispers my nameand I hear her voicethrough the mists of oblivion
We fell in love in late spring
As cool wind nipped at our cheeks
we found warmth in each others bodies
Our love blossomed into the summer
Hot, sunny days
Walking trails hand in hand
I think I lost myself, again Because here I am, fondling the sheets at 3am, looking for you in the darkness I only feel comfortable, if you are around And I can't eat, unless I feed you first
I used to think there was no way you could ever let me down,
Then you broke my heart and knocked off my precariously placed crown.
I used to think I couldn’t live without you,
artificial
Knock! Knock!
It’s me!! Haha its us! It’s you…
Aww don’t give me that face now. You forgot about me didn’t you?
Overthinking. I overthink the small things.Gosh he might think I’m ugly.
Or he could find someone prettier or way better than me now.
Oh what do I do?
Sometimes loneliness gnaws at me
Flashing it’s big teeth and then ripping me to shreds
Devouring my mind & emptying my soul
She looked at herself in the mirror and what she seen and what she felt were two different things. She was conflicted with herself. What she saw was her reflection, not sure what it was that she was reflecting.
When I fired my gun at a criminal, I accidentally shot an innocent bystander.I made a horrible mistake, I was supposed to shoot someone else than her.
I didn't want to admit it, but I cried myself to sleep every night this week because of you,
And I know that it is going to continue, no matter what I try and do.
I don't know why i'm like this
I never knew the cause.
I'm so cold and shaky
But now, at only 12, anxiety has swallowed me in its big jaws.
I’m not a princess or a queen
Not a prince or a king
Though I am a boy
I am only a boy
Nothing more nothing less
I know who I am
I spent last night googling birds that sing in the morning,
to give myself something to wake up for.
Tricking myself into believing I’d even be awake by then.
Because the truth is I am not ok
Wish I hadn’t said goodbyethe sadness envelops meI keep asking myself “Why?”Why not put me out to sea
Welcome to lake indifference
Here you will find the vacation home of every man I have ever loved.
Starting with cabin 208
Occupied by all the men I accidentally loved in high school.
Or at least I thought I loved.
I want to build you a library and fill it with all your favorite books
And all the reasons I still love you.
And I will never stop adding to it
That way you can wander the halls of my heart chambers forever.
I don’t want to fade away
I don’t want my poems to become a reflection of my worst days
I don’t want my obituary to say how I was sad
Or give any more attention to my dad
I want to be loved
Hook)
youre the only one....
for me.....
nobodys else makes these
dark days
not as
so shady
but now you're gone....
yeah,
all my friends say to move on..
honest to god
Angry at myself
That I still don't have
the courage to stand up,
I fall back down,
in this blanket of despair,
Way too familiar,
Where I feel secure
Lover, you were a hurricane
A tornado
The typhoon to explain why some sailors never made it home
And I used to call you mine
And I used to call you after work
And I used to hold your hand
Entertaining death
The thoughts fill my mind
My chest heavy with
Despair
Pass another year
I jest. But in reality
I begin to feel fear
This could be the darkest poem I will ever write
So I will make it a short one
So now it could be the darkest short poem I will ever write
And maybe it already is so let’s start with the light
Having depression is weird
Because you can be at the lowest point of your life
So sad that your arms can’t move
So sad that your eyes wont stay open
So sad that every sky is a grey sky
Society has carved into me, sculpting out the ten commandments in bone
Ten ways to hate myself now forever placed on my skin
If you can, sunshine, look up at the sky.
There you'll see stars, and this all will pass by.
Our world is on fire, but just hold on tight.
I'll sing to you, sugar. Our last lullaby.
Am I not a story?A perpetual jugglerOr any apparition hustling to survive?
Disrupted volcanoMiserably, a blast!Of flames and flowersPerceived as hollow and no art!
When we met you told me that your heart was a broken song
So I hope you were able to fix it with the pieces you took after shattering mine.
But mine will never be reassembled on solid ground
Every time a candle burns
I think of a field in the middle of June
Campfires in the hills of Pennsylvania
Where we watched the glow of a waning moon
And I remember the days we laughed
When the rain stops
And the sun drops
Below the horizon line
Do not forget the time we shared
Or how I held your hand in mine
But when the sun shines
In your lovers eyes
I write a lot of my poems from my bathtub floor
Soaking up sadness til the water gets cold
Til my silence grows old
Til my tears meet the water
And the stanzas are told
My mind is a Kaleidoscope of memories that I wish I could burn
But some moments are fireproof
And maybe it helps to see the world through rainbow glasses
Or maybe it’s a curse
And maybe I loved you
I always used to say I hated summer
Something about the heat
Or the sun burns
Or the bugs flying around
No matter where you go
But it wasn’t entirely true
You see
It’s true that I hated summer
I don’t understand how you can just stand there
Standing beside the river I cried
Skipping stones off my tears to watch how far they’ll go
As if my brokenness is a wishing well you have been waiting to use
They call me a slut
They call me a slut because I sleep around I guess that’s what they call it
They call me a slut because I am good at making men feel good
I am good at making men feel good because it makes me feel good.
Preface:
I am a 6’5” homosexual cis white man
Which is to say I am privileged
Which is also to say I kinda get it.
Poem:
I am sitting on my bed
I do that a lot lately
Happy Birthday, I love you
My first thought when I woke today
Happy Birthday, I remember you
A story I wrote
with the stress lines on my forehead
Happy Birthday and I miss you
Miss your laugh
Did you know there is no word in the English language,
or any other language as far as I know of,
for a memory that you’ve forgotten
A forgotten memory is the only way I can describe
I wrote a poem once about how you need to break
To truly shatter if you ever want to learn to put yourself back together again
Because no mosaic is built without first becoming broken pieces
There is a God
And I know damn well because it keeps screwing me over and over.
There is a God
That keeps fucking my life up,
I never gave it my consent.
There is a wall,
It keeps me from going forward.
I never intended to melt
To fill the mold I was instructed to fill
I never intended to fade
To break away pieces of myself
To squeeze between the cracks
To suck the moisture from the pavement
Depression is a drag queen
She sashays across the floor
Covered in sparkles and makeup
So you almost forget.
You almost forget how alone you feel
How the bar is empty
Tears stain the fake leather of my boots
the salt fringed watermarks where I left my heartstrings
There are so many marks I have left behind
In all the cities I have ever loved
And even some that I cannot remember
Dearest love, My darling supporter
my number one fan, The newest thing on my mind
I write to you
becuase I know pain
I don't know what you need
no two people can feel the same
I didn’t start writing because you broke me, you know?
I started writing when I learned to write,
I learned to write because I learned to read,
There was nothing mathematical about the way that I loved you
There was nothing logical, or choreographed, or otherwise organized.
My love for you is chaos
Was chaos
Chaos with a vengeance
You know I’ve realized
That somehow falling in love
Is the best and worst thing
That can ever happen to a person
You will feel things you never knew you could feel.
Merry Christmas Darling
We’re apart as you planned
And every day is full of pain
Since you’re holding a different hand
I'm shocked and it's hard for me to believe.My fiancee has left me on New Year's Eve.I thought she loved me and it's hard for me to understand.My fiancee said goodbye and she ran off with another man.
Walking the brightly lit halls of white walls and pastels.
Past the family holding hands in the doorway.
Past the woman looking frantically from face to face.
As if she really knows what she’s looking for.
I was there when you built your garden
I helped you pick what plants to grow
I held your hand when you spoke of the harvest and all the meals we would share.
Broken heart and foolish memories
I wish I had never known you,
I wish I had never found you
Why?? Am I now grieving??
Hot tears falling on my cheeks
Blurring my eyes and my body feeling heated up.
Hate to let you goOur life till now has beenhigh drama in a showWe both have given up ontrying to make things right,all we do is fight,stuck in a hopeless plight.I wish you wouldn’t go
I never been this confused,
what if my life will just turn to blue?
How will I survive,
if I don't know what to do.
I’m not angry at you
Ya know?
I might have been angry
Or sad
Or frustrated
Or some combination of that
Mixed with the feeling
of being utterly destroyed
But I was never angry at you
I can’t help but feel
That I will never stop writing
About this feeling
That I will never stop feeling
This in love
And this unloved
At the same time
It’s an emotion
I'll remember the moment I fall for you, I'll remember the time I was holding you, because every moment I've been with you, I feel alive,
This is just another love poem
Nothing too exciting
Just a lost soul grasping to words
To try and pull himself out of the dark
Love? dark?
Didn’t expect those words together?
Or maybe you did
I have never won a poetry competition. Never gotten second, third, or an honorable mention for that matter.I have never been told I should become a poet, but that’s not why I write.
I began to write this poem
Telling myself it would be the last
The last one I wrote to you
The last one I wrote because of you
Your final one
But I lied
I realize now
I think it’s time to let you go
I wish this healing process wasn’t so slow
It’s scary being with out you
Now who do I call
when the days have been long
You know, I wrote a poem about Tuesday’s once upon a time
It wasn’t a happy poem
It wasn’t a sad poem either
If anything it was a disgruntled poem
A poem about how Tuesday’s are the worst day of the week
Empty
This is the best way I can describe how I feel right now
How I feel knowing that it’s over
That our adventures are over
That the plans we made will never come to fruition
Today I am tears of joy
Triumphs on a mountaintop
Autumn leave and funny T-shirts
Today I am shaking knees
Giggles for no reason
I am songs hummed to no one
The squeak of new shoes
Today I am a sad poem
Not because of any man
Or any woman either
Not because there is nothing to be happy about
And I have much to be thankful for
I am a sad poem because I’m sad
It was in twenty nineteen,
Month of September in seventeen,
Black around and not green,
Grand father was not been.
I drove home yesterday.
All the way from north to south.
I drove home yesterday.
Not a sound escaped my mouth.
I drove home yesterday.
I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am okay,
Cause if I am being honest, it really changes and I have to take it day by day.
One day I go to bed smiling and I am still very hopeful for the future and what it can bring,
My heart aches and yearns,
my eyes have no more tears to shed,
like experiencing a drought
my mind can't think straight anymore, it can't focus
you fill my head, day and night
i am weary
As embers in the night,
you set my heart on fire
intense and violent, wildly out of control
spreading intensely
i find myself lost in the thought, that is "you"
though maybe it was my own wishful thinking
I cry, but only by myself
Constantly I reminisce about us
Red was the setting sun, setting your silhouette ablaze
Your smile which shined brighter than any star
I keep wondering if you think about me still
Emotions,
too hard to hide
feeling,
sensitive to the touch
feeling these emotions that I have for you
makes me vulnerable
for I feel too deeply
i feel,
Like the sun and moon
endlessly chasing after one another
giving warmth, one moment
a piercing bone chilling cold in the next
i chase after you still
my voice reaches out,
but I am not heard
I don’t remember exactly what I was doing.
Exactly what made me stop.
I remember the storm sending shivers through the walls
The raucous thunder crashing through the skies like a marching band
And the rain
It has been 20 years since the towers fell. Two decades to mourn
Two decades to heal,
But the scars run just as deep as they did twenty years prior.
Just as deep as the wounds that bleed into our streets
It's been so long since you left, I shouldn't care but, I still do, I can't stop remembering the time we spent,
I'm hurt,
At some point in my life,
I wished to disappear from this world,
I cried every night,
I’ve come to notice
On the days we scream the loudest
Our pleas have no ear to fall on
Yet a whisper of success can be heard for miles
I’ve come to notice that there is no such thing as wasted tears
I got so tired of people giving up on me
That I learned to believe in myself
Got so tired of my world falling apart
That I learned how to hold up the sky
I got so tired of the rainy days
Is grey your favorite color?
The shade of stagnation
The memory of disappointment
The sky on the worst of days
Grey like the colors of your heart
The grey from stormy clouds
I ain’t your April fool
Not your plaything anymore
Wrapped my heart with steel and wool
Sent you stomping out my door
Cause I ain’t your April fool
I’ve got thunder in my soul
After you I spent years looking for love.
For someone to fix what had been broken
But I was wrong.
If you look for love when you are broken,
All you will find is broken love.
They seem to fall gracefully at first, silent, warm rolling down my cheeks waiting to soak the creases of my neck. Emotions build, I become overwhelmed from all the overthinking. The tears brew faster, more rapid, heart beats increase.
Why don't you love me
You could at least pretend
Please call me
Please
Just tell me that you liked me too
Heart wrecked, mind dead
I think I might’ve misread
Now it left me to bleed,
My feelings mislead,
And I’ve tried to flee
So i can be freed
I'm all alone in my head,
Fighting the demons inside me,
Looking for love,
But betrayal made my demons go wild.
Now Being... “TIMID”...
AIN’T A Flavour I Choose To Savour...
Because That’s What I’ve Seen...
In A LOT of Peeps' Who Are Born In Barbados...
They’re Timid Alright But NOT When It Comes To Their Using Stunts...
Tell me your lies, tell me your sins
tell me the life that might have been
they have killed you oh once-mighty-one
for you have wilted under the withering sun
the golden god so fierce and brave
I cried.
I sobbed.
My whole body shook and trembled from my cries.
Thoughts bounced back and forth in my burning mind.
It was non-stop.
His skin, it was so soft.
His laugh, it made the world so bright.
His eyes, they told an amazing story.
If only he had stayed alive longer to notice.
To notice that he was more than just a person.
in the perfect world where nothing can hurt us, you did the right thing and gave me purpose. a reason to smile, laugh and someone to create with. another chance at your sweet love it sounds so amazing.
Time passes by,
She still remembered the day,
When he asked her out
She was flustered, happy, and loved.
“I’m coming for you!”
A little girls says,
As laughter and joy
Fills the room.
A child
And a mother
Playing hide and seek
If anything I’d hold your hand so tight, but your tiptoeing towards the other direction. Not a peek of sound, I didn’t even see the motion. I was blinded with my blood, my leg is stained with pen ink.
Losing someone can be challenging.
The sorrows stay within you.
The heart will cry; the brain will hurt.
The love will be lost and never will be back.
It's been so cloudy up here,
unable to think straight,
resort to being depressed,
being depressed leads to anxiety,
Let my chest ache,
Let my heart hurt,
Let the tears break and hit the floor,
Let my world fall,
to hell with it all.
No one cares,
my eyes leak.
Let this anger
fester and seep.
Eyes, the hurting eyes, still haunt my dreams
The memories we once had are flodding back in
I don’t want to look back at the past because i know i can’t change
we've been laying in my bed
for hours now, neither of us sleeping
nor talking, just holding each other.
from the moment he walked in the front door
i knew that he had something on his mind,
Daniel.
I am not good for you.
You know that too.
When skies arent blue I just think of you.
promise me you wont leave me too.
I love you too, babe.
[
‘Tis freezing cold, warm bloods stained on the floor; with the memory of thou numbing into this fine veins; and skin where the cold shred its warmth. ]
All those pictures
that we took together and those
that I secretly took from you—
I kept them on my phone's gallery.
Some of them were prints
that when I looked at them so mad—
Smiles of those images
In the perfect season of the day,
will our laughter remain?
I saw your eyes counting the stars,
That night.
I replay that night in my head.
The night the waiting came to an end.
The night I constantly smile about.
The night I finally felt that maybe there was something between us.
Previous month
wasn't just the end
of beginning of
new month.
It's not just how
time flies. But
how time upgrades
to new stage.
I'm living in a dream,
Save me!
I want to wake up,
I hate being in this dream,
It's so dark here,
I hate this night,
I want to wake up,
save me!
I can't bear it,
I found a box in the attic,
It was covered in dust.
It's label said "Dreams,
I'd been forced to give up."
I collapsed to the floor.
As old wounds did appear.
As a page of a book.
It's confusing being mixed.What I look like, and my experiences,they don't line up with a typical anything.I am not European-American,I am not Puerto Rican,I am an amalgamation of these things, and more.
Another day has passed,
thinking unusual stuff,
Making myself bored to death...
Walking all alone in the cold dark,
I was misguided.Interpreting all of my feelings wrong
I don't want to travel
I want to see world,In one person.And have them want me back, forever
every time I hit rock bottom
there is a new rock bottom that awaits me
its darker there
and full of more self-hatred
Wish you'd notice me,
Wish you feel for me.
Tell me, what did I ever do to you
To make you act this way, boy?
"It's not you, it's me?"
Well, I call bullshit;
I've never had the best of luck in love.
I wish, I could've told you
How adorable you're when you smile,
How cheerful you are when you speak,
Just us walking beneath the moonlit night,walking along the beach,as the waves splashthrough my toes,a little crab runs over my toesand disappears into the sea.Walking and talkingwaiting for a reply,shadows castupon the silver sandsI halt,look aro
‘are you okay?’ they ask, and i reply,
‘really, why are you worried? i swear, i’m fine.’
but i know that i’m really not okay
that this is all a mask, a pretty face
In limbo here I lie,
Trying to find an excuse, a reason to try,
But as I think of the upcoming past,
I remember that I am so not up to the task.
So I crawl in my shell and hide,
How do you feel,
When you witness demise?
How do you deal,
Without effort to try?
How do you see,
When you're dead, so blind?
Who can I be,
So dead inside?
How can you say,
Lightning strikes
Faster than I can think.
Thunder roars
So loud I can't hear myself think.
Rain pours down
Washing away all emotion.
Peaceful storm
Quieting the commotion.
Please god make it stop;
All the hurting, the lying, the running.
Please god make it stop;
All the misery, the pain, the crying.
How many more days can I go on?
Please god make it stop;
I've thrown away everything.
I think about my decisions, the tears they sting.
Wondering what tomorrow will bring;
Just another sad song for me to sing.
Just another attempt to conquer this thing.
Children are supposed to play,
Not spend so much time wondering why they've been betrayed.
At what age should a child be able to define dismay?
How young is too young for a child to learn to hate?
I spent so many years,
Doing nothing but crying.
But now I'm out of tears,
All despite my trying.
Not because I've overcome fears,
But because my soul is dying.
As the light draws near,
As your birthday approaches,
The tears get harder to hold back,
As I look back on my motives,
Remembering when my heart was in tact.
That day that I broke your heart,
I also destroyed mine,
I've never been a man to stand tall...
I've never been the man to call...
The voices; I'll kill them all...
Waiting for the sky to fall...
There was something about that day,
Tonight... I'll release the pain!
Tonight... I'll show you who I am!
A sight... I'm afraid to let you see!
A fright... A monster of a man!
I've been trying for so long to let them see,
I'm sitting here at war with myself.
Part of me is wondering what I bother for.
The other part is begging to heal.
But I can't determine which is real,
Or which entity I feed.
I'm so full of sadness,
So full of hate,
My mind's filled with madness,
I know I'll never be great.
So why not give it up
End the sorrow and despair?
Since I'll never find love
What do you see when you look in my eyes?
Can you see all the memories that I so strongly despise?
So badly I wish that I could cry.
Or even better, I wish I could get high.
I feel so sad when I wake up from a dream,
Realizing that I have to return to reality.
It's always easier to decipher what nightmares mean;
That my soul is just another casulty.
11 years later, still dead inside.
11 years later, finally alive.
11 years later, afraid of what's new.
11 years later, ready for myself, part two?
11 years ago, my soul was dead.
I woke up one day too tired to run;
I just didn't have the energy anymore.
I didn't have the resolve to fight.
I didn't have it within me to take action either.
I decided to let the wind blow,
The insects are at peace.
Living their lives essentially pleased.
It doesn't take much to fulfill their needs.
How are they so strong, and I so weak?
I feel so scared and weak.
I sincerely miss
Playing With
The child inside
But now he cries.
There was a time
When he could see sunshine
But now he's scared
He came to life unprepared.
On the ground he lay
How simple is the solution really?
Is it really that easy to live with these feelings?
Can I learn how to live while hating myself?
Can I function in day to day life without some kind of help?
When sleep eludes me,
What can I do?
When wounds won't bleed,
And those truths which I thought I knew,
About myself, are no longer me;
How does this crow fly in a sky which is no longer blue?
How does one fill a void inside?
Who is there in which I can confide?
I'd like to say I need to swallow my pride,
But there's none left, so now I'll just hide.
Why is it that I only feel safe here,
In hospitals, locked away from all my fears?
Why is this my favorite place to retreat?
Why is it only in places like this that I can feel complete?
Look up to the sky friends,
Can you see the coming end?
Red rock falling from the sky,
Hidden by flames, beautiful disguise.
Say your last prayer, beg for eternity;
The unlikelyhood no longer worries me.
There's this place deep in the recesses of my mind.
A place where the scared little child ran away to hide.
At such a young age he had given up hope,
Went into this attic and tied up the rope.
When will I stop missing you so much
The thoughts in my brain are eating me up
I don’t know if I’ll ever feel enough for you
Or any one for that matter
Just as it started, it’s all ending.
Coming to a close.
Curtain call is starting soon.
Apologies and Wishful Dreams.
Glass Hearts on Pillars.
Will I
Remember at the end?
Crying eyes
Yet I like to pretend
Questions not asked
That how I want it to be
Die young and live fast
I'm hurting, can't you see?
I wear a big ol smile
if i seem sad,
or if i my smile seems forced
don't worry
it's just my facade slipping
give it a minute and i'll be "me" again.
(j.a.s.s)
you're so uniquely your own
so perfectly imperfect that it makes my heart hurt just thinking of you
but i'm so scared because no matter how much i need you
you'll never need me with the same earnest.
My head is void of thoughts
My soul is null of feelings
My mind is devoid of words and phrases
My paper remains unstained for days,
Itching and begging for ink to pour.
The pen is dry of ink,
I was always a wolf.
Before you loved me,
And after you left.
Just because i was tame,
doesn't mean i forgot my fangs.
I can't help it
and I know it
but I'm stuck.
My feelings,
like quicksand,
have a firm hold of me
and just won't let go.
I'm stuck in the past,
the pain on my heart
I wonder,
sometimes,
if all my friends are forgetting me.
If someday
I will stop seeing them,
stop hearing their voices,
if one day
they will simply
disappear
from my life.
yell, scream, shout
silence is scarce.
with every word spoken, a new argument begins.
each room of the house is a minefield.
i tread lightly, but somehow always become collateral.
Chains tighten on my feet
I'm stuck at this same place
Your past grinds against my bones
Disgust fills my throat
I look at you with hatred
For you are the only thing I love
My heart is very heavy,
Like it weighed a thousand pounds.
Like clouds turning dark and gray;
And it terrifies the ground,
And a large army abound.
Hear! Lend me your ears!
Friends,family and peers!
For I shall tell you a tale,
That happened in our vill.
Dark brown swampland meets,
Where frogs roam free.
Willow, that’s her name.
They think your weeping, why have you led them to believe so?
Weeping Willow,
That’s what I’m told happens so.
It’s ok to be green or red or blue
It’s ok to be happy or even sad too
It’s ok to be anything that you want to
But most of all it’s ok to be you
Sometimes at night as the sun is setting,
Falling below the hills like an old balloon,
I see them. Mountains in the sky
Ominous mounds of magic or cloud
My soul is too old to settle
My mind is too deep to grasp the shallows
My bringing is too dark to contain the light
My destiny is but a flame in the void
I.The twisting spindlesof nature’s Quenched Desirepoke angrily into her spinewith the fresh sharpnessof slaughtered promises.
Hello, My name is....
you probly dont care.
I mean who am I?
A girl in a crowd...
I open up.
and you close.
My mind starts to wonder...
what couldve been if i said my name?
The night is a closed chest—
someone is standing inside
under its vaulted,
holy black cloisters…
two someones, and
another dozen: they jump
up and down,
up and down.
i've always known
i've never been the favorite child
off kilter and distant
like a drunk on the curb
so i guess it makes sense
that you've finally let go
of my cold hands
It's Funny...
If you show you don't care
people start to beleive it.
they start to hurt you
then they leave you
Then your laying there cold
tears fall down your cheecks
It is 2:30 am, Thursday night
You’ve gone to sleep and I can’t stop thinking about you
My heart feels heavy but in the best way, my thoughts feel light
there’s been so many times where i debated whether or not i should manifest you back into my life, but honestly? i really wouldn’t know what to say to you after years of being apart.
Been thinking too much about you
And its filling me with dread
My soul is screaming for its mate
Cant silence the noise in my head
You cut me deep once before
Im still trying to stop the bleeding
please don't let anything bad happen tonight.
please don't let anything bad happen tonight.
please don't let anything bad happen tonight.
I have friends.
those friends care about me.
sometimes I need someone to talk to.
I can talk to my friends when I need someone to listen to me.
I am not merely seeking attention because of this.
sometimes
i feel like nothing
sometimes
i feel like everything
sometimes
i am the sun
sometimes
i am the moon
sometimes
the world is too much for me
every time I want nothing more than to
disappear
I think,
"it's been a while since I've wanted to die this badly."
and it's true.
some days
are far worse than others, but
some days
I roll a blunt and sink deep in my thoughts. I smoke a blunt until I get rid of all of my thoughts. Clouds of smoke then I feel nothing at all.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m real
If I really exist or if I’m just told that I do
I can not prove to you that I exist
Nor can you prove to me that you do.
Is reality a conscious effort
Or perhaps it simply is?
I will weep for you
as a willow kisses the ground
I will hold your hand
as I lift the weight of your shoulder
Hear my shallow breath
count to 10
leave your bags
You and I are like the sky and the ground,
we see each other but we can never meet.
Like the sun and the moon we are far apart,
only appearing when one disappears.
We keep our hearts in parallel dimensions
I hug myself close,
Hoping that I can pull my
Scattered pieces closer.
I hold myself tighter,
Afraid that if I let go,
I have listened to your song on repeat
Over and over again in the dark
Different styles and different artists
But still your song
I have listened to every note, every lyric
And I realize only now
Today has been one of those days
All the sunshine goes away
No rain but tears fall down my face
So much sadness takes its place
My life has been on hold for so long I didn’t even realise
No progress has become the new norm
While I sit here and wait for you to love me
Like once upon a time when we were both so young
I need a reason to fall in love again.
To let gravity take me without catching myself.
To believe that I deserve more than I let myself take.
After all, how can a heart be broken if there is nothing left to break?
Couldn’t take it anymore
Don’t want you to hurt
Even the sky is crying
I’m sorry I can’t do this anymore
Daddy Daughter Memories
You have good memories you have bad ones. But the ones that stick are bad ones. I have never understood why they do, but they do.
(Dashes equal a beat)
I think of my life and I always wonder why -
every time I do, I always want to cry.
It's falling apart and sometimes I think I want to die -
My physical body aches
Terribly as it resonates through my bones like a chord plucked on worn acoustic guitar strings
I beg for the release of the metallic chains of my inability to see beyond the depths of my own soul
Bailey George,
O how I miss you:
Your shiny black coat with the crest of white on the center of your chest,
Your tiny ears that never seemed to fit your 95 lb frame,
“Mom’s not coming home.”
“Why?”
“Come here.”
Two buildings on the verge of collapse
A Fire’s bloody vengeance--
Only in the illusory imagination
Your sweet voice, which came from out-space
calling my name
When I bumping along the rough road
You are the flowers that sway around me
Your branch caressing my face
Once I had a heart,
A heart as big as the world!
Well maybe not that large…
But it fit inside of a girl.
But over time I find it broken,
Shattered beyond repair.
I should have never let it open
“Taylor my sweet it’s been so long,
since we last spoke.
I remember every word we said,
including every little joke.”
“We all have really missed you,
Everyday, every minute, every second
I feel like I am worthless
Whatever I do is never good
I feel like I am alone
With no friends
Your heart is a muscle, it contracts and relaxes again and again until the day that it doesn’t. Until the day you will no longer need it. But it is still a muscle
I hear the deep rolling growl of my fathers pick up truck pulling into our driveway
The plumes of smoke filling the air like an ominous grey cloud of warning.
i hope that someday i can change
not just for a moment
but true change
when i don’t feel these things
when i can overlook those words which have disrupted my peace
i thought i would feel peace
but all i feel is chaos
slipping deeper into the black
falling from anyone’s grasp
as the seconds continue to pass
I want to die.
It's been a while since I said that out loud
The screaming voices of the world have sworn me to secrecy
But it’s true.
I’m not afraid to say it
Not afraid to accept the inevitable
You hold an entire galaxyWithin your eyes.Shooting stars becoming tearsThat run down your face.
Depression isn’t gentle
She doesn’t knock when she enters the room
Or text you before she comes over
Instead she kicks down the door and takes what is hers
She does not need your opinion
Depression grips my wrist like a child in a storm
Holding me a hostage, in my head and in my dorm
Filling me with sadness that cannot be explained
Like my head is full of cannon balls and my ankles all but chained.
I am a human
That is all.
Even when you zoom in,
I am small.
The world is large,
I am just one of over 7 billion.
I shall take charge,
And train myself to work for the common civilian.
You make me smile in a time I forgot I knew how.
A twinkle in my eyes and a sweat on my brow
To stifle a laugh under breath made of steel
You taught me to laugh, to smile, and to feel
A lullaby drifts on a distant breeze
Sapphire’s twinkle in the light of his eyes
Dust settles down like the my tears when they cry
While a sweet silent shiver drips down from the skies
When your world freezes over like the tears from your eyes
Like a call from the doctor or when your mother cries
To feel your heart sink like a stone thrown in anger
To the depths of dark seas, as if tied to an anchor
The familiar scratching at the inner linings of your throat like a cat scratching at the walls, screaming to be let out. The sensation of your airways closing like that time when a man you did not know choked you for reasons you did not know.
tell me,
how to love when i am blue
show me what blue lovers do
when my skin looks like the sky
you dragged a knife across my heart
the way i used to drag a blade across my skin
there was so much blood
there is so much blood
and i cannot stop the bleeding
i am nothing to everyone
and the weight of that nothingness
feels like i am holding up the universe
on two bony shoulders and a curved spine
this greek myth
And here i am once again
Wondering if i'm even worth it
If this is a battle I can't win
Maybe i should just give up
I've been here before
I love life. And no despair, hellish torment and misfortune will never make me forget that just living is a great blessing. (c)
We've Lost Another Giant ... !!!
We've Lost Another Giant ... !!!
The One And Only ...
... Kobe Bryant ... !!!!!!!
His Daughter Too ...
As Well As Seven More ... !!!
I want to go away from home
Home is not here, not right now
Home is where your happy
I am happy but I'm not Happy
Home is where your free
I want to feel free
Free of rules and madness
heres to you
i can pretend that i am not lying here heart broken
that im not listening to music on repeat and sobbing into my blankets
i can pretend it doesnt hurt
I'm ready to self destruct.
Please, just hold me while I leave.
I don't want to do this, but,
a part of you will go with me.
I keep trying to run away,
now you say you need me to stay
don't look at me,
House of cards
Easily blown away by wind
It doesn't take long
To notice how fragile it became
It holds memories inside
Memories of the good times
It has always kept the scent
Heartbreak can only get worse
It feels like a huge curse
It's also like when you can't find anything in your purse
It breaks
When they make mistakes
Or if they're a snake
Look at all the rainbows in the water
She said
As she stared
Look at all the blues held in the skyline
She said
As she dreamed
Here let all my visions fly
Let me just paint the sky
By the grave I saw the cloudsThe thundery taint taintingI crave the clerical, cloudy comorosAnd its eyes have all the taintingAnd the thunderclouds never tarnishingMy grayness, I could not awaken Deep into that
It's nice to think that someone is out there
Who will listen and love me
Despite everything I am and everything I have been
Who will listen and love me
Despite my expiration date that is always changing
Some days are nothing but black
Fighting a battle in endless fog
Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static
Some days are nothing but black
Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
Head under water
Held in place, trapped
I'm losing my breath
Held in place, trapped
Still, you keep me there
Held in place, trapped
It is all my fault
Held in place, trapped
I feel like a bubble of emotion
Floating in the ease of your presence
But I think I am always waiting
For the inevitable "POP"
And knowing it wouldn't be possible
To put us back together
I'm tired of thinking,
In test dates,
And terms papers.
When all I really want,
Is to use my imagination.
The stars call my name,
But I'm busy getting A's
Poor ugly little girl
burn your lips with perfume
you mistaked as lipgloss
Poor naive little girl
just because he said
how beautiful you were
you have him the key
to your now
broken
Where are you baby
Where are you when I'm calling
Dreaming
Wishing
Where are you when I'm mising you
Baby please call, don't let me down now
Carry my dreams and tell me what they're made of
Reality hits,
Sadness bites
and it really hurts
then it dies
No one can rely
and just can't play
It can all be a reply
then somebody must repay
i gaze into a mirror
and will the glass to shatter
so i can finally
see the unhidden
form of my soul
how can it be that there are so many people
on this earth, and yet i feel like i am alone?
how can it be that i see you everyday
yet i can't make my love for you known?
is being alone normal to be?
around i see couples of two, but not me.
how come i never get this chance?
maybe i'll go to paris, france.
the beautiful light in your dull brown eyes
exposes the relentless pain you give,
i say i will find courage but it is all lies,
these past years i wish i could relive,
i don’t want to know what you think,
you don’t care, you’re mind is blowing
like the wind but eventually you sink
into your heart and it’s showing,
Everyday it gets harder
To get out of bed,
To feel enthusiastic about life,
To smile.
I can feel the pain inside of me
Growing and spreading,
I just want you to see the way you've hurt me,
the mask I wear everyday to hise the pain,
the pain that is going through me,
I need this pain to be slain.
I just want you to see the way you've hurt me,
don't touch me again. get your tiny, sweaty hands off of me
i want your Axe body spray smell mixed with B.O. out of my nose
i can never go to the park again
not after what happened on the bridge
No one asked me what I wanted
No one cares when you’re not wanted
I am not the man I wanted
But no one asked
No one asked me who I loved
No one cared I wasn’t loved
Dreaming under the rainbow
Crash from the high
There’s a tear upon your face
But do you remember why you cried?
Dreaming under the rainbow
Where are you?
You promised that you’d stay with me,
I can understand your pain but for this I cannot change.
This all appears the same, day after day.
Life replays, I do not want to stay.
If my feelings were contained in a room,
I would like to tell you that it would be filled with natural light,
Spacious but cozy,
And of course comfortable.
I put on my best brave face
As I try to hide
That I am breaking inside
People wouldn’t understand
What I’m going through
Will I ever not feel blue?
Appearing to be strong
he loves her so desperately and that she knew.
all he can ever ask for is maybe a hungout and that was sometimes too much
You burn bright like a wildfire
You laugh, smile, and immerse yourself with bliss
And they envy you for your blaze
It’s June.
I am laying on my bed.
It’s two in the afternoon.
The sun is trying to welcome me with its warm arms
come outside
<3
we were different but the same
my heart: the ground
and yours: the rain
hand and hand we ran around
shocking jealousy through everyone in town
we were thunder and lightning
my call goes out across the seas
it echos back to no one but me
a cry of love that’s never heard
an idea that can’t be that absurd
Looking for distractions
Hiding in my absence
Tired of my actions
Feeling my inactions
Scared of my emotions
Sinking in commotion
Looking for distractions
I remember the time,
my eyes were full
of this purest hope
I hardly remember
How it was
To believe
I deserved
To hope
But,
Day after day
When I feel
The morning
Breaking down behind hidden walls
secrets and lies every time I fall
letters and words that silencs stole
not knowing my worth every time I loose control
Love and hate I lost them both
I don’t understand
I can’t comprehend
How happiness and sadness go hand in hand
In my wildest dreams; when I am lost in thought
You're lying in bed.
Are you in bed or are you lying?
I cant figure it out.
I'm tired of trying
I sit alone on my dorm-room bed
Surrounded by these twinkle lights.
Passed my math test,
But feel like a failure.
I sit with my roommate on my dorm-room bed
What if i told you i'm not okay?
That i'm depressed.
How would you react?
If I told you I almost killed myself today.
I give everything I can
(in fear that you'll leave)
my time my home my patience
and don't expect to receive
I can't lose another best friend
(because I lost more)
my love my trust my faith
look in the mirror
can't help but see someone
who feels such terror
they'll be loved by no one
study my reflection
I find nothing attractive
crooked complexion
the taste on my tongue
of bitter words
that could leave you stung
the fire in my heart
of frustrated feelings
that would lead me to fall apart
the thoughts in my head
dressed in blue
I feel golden
dancing with you
my heart holden
high heeled shoes
I feel beautiful
dancing with you
moments so meaningful
posed together
I'll arrive early enough
but it's always tough
to notice you since fifteen
as you come old and green
no matter how hard I try every morning
you always wake me with loud warnings
just in time for fall
you lose your green tint
left with no leaves at all
questioning where your life went
dancing around until laughter broke
made me your reason to smile
because I am a joke
call me a friend
but I think of myself as a jester
providing happy distractions without end
leave me high and dry
in the middle of the night
counting my reasons to cry
until the stars fade into daylight
the sun's rays will fill me with hope
to step off of the tightrope
I miss being comfortable with you
do you miss that feeling too?
I miss giggling until midnight with you
do you miss the laughter too?
I miss being young with you
do you miss our childhood too?
Dear me,
you are more than a score,
more than every embarrassing moment
that breaks you to your core.
you are more than glances,
more than what anxiety tells you
in the morning Anxiety accompanies me
as my shadow in the day
yelling at me all my insecurities
but it's okay
in the night Depression welcomes me
in my bed as I lay
thank the moon
for being my company tonight
maybe think I'll be fine soon
thank the sky
for crying with me tonight
maybe think I'll finally say goodbye
Can you feel it?
My disparity,
It’s there and all I feel.
I’m desperate for you,
Your touch,
It's been months without seeing his face,
How he smiled a little too wide,
His teeth sharp with appetite.
It's been months without hearing his voice,
How he spoke a little too quietly,
When I think of you, I think of me.
I wish that you could finally see
The way things can now, for us, be.
You were the one who held my hand,
You scooped me up and protected me.
On nights that I could no longer stand,
You would hold me until my crying stopped.
Winter eyes cause wild storms.
Through the halls how they adore.
Fallen love and broken hearts
Hers is foam its blown apart.
In the light her beauty shines
To any other she could tell no lies
Taco Bell, tacos are swell, but nothing but white culture
American racism closing all chains
And we complain for immigrant vultures
Below.
Life is lived under two feet of water, And I can see the world on land.
Above.
The clouds are upon me, the days and nights bleed into one-and-other, and yet you all carry on without me
Outside.
The smell of coffee conquered the dark wooded room
I could hear the faint patterns of rain running down the worn cabin
We both walked on gelid floor waiting for the waking sun
Everyday I wake up reluctant to get out of bed
Discouraged by the thought that today will hold nothing but more pain and heartache
I close my eyes against the familiar pangs of anxiety
I wish someone would break into my house
So I could kill somebody
But I don’t mention it
To my psychiatrist
Crying alone in the dark
Every night it is the same
I’m too sick to make friends
And way Too tired to smile
The worst powerlessness is when
you watch someone you love fade from your fingertips
At first is just a few less conversations
Than no communication for a month
Months begin to pass by with nothing
i'm sorry I feel like dying somedays
i'm sorry that most days i want to be alone
so i shut down and i don't answer you
and i don't want to watch shows with you
and i don't want to talk
Uncertain futures,
We were so close.
We were near that amavi.
That latin phrase that breaks the phase,
The one that doesn’t conquer.
words spill out of my mouth
and ooze from my skin at the
sight of a july day
spent in the sun
admiring the light slipping through the trees
and onto her skin
In the silent wilderness, wasn’t so silent
My thoughts racing threw my mind, they all seemed so blind.
As I claimed to be fine, my limits have now ultimately crossed the line.
That beautiful girl
Under the blossom tree
Reading her books
She never acknowledged me.
And in my mind
I knew she never would
And even though I wanted to,
I knew I never could.
I saw you there
At the renaissance fair
All alone
Churning milk into butter
I got down on my knees
And I said the Lord’s prayer
That you would be mine
In an hour
The scariest part of being alone is liking your empty home.
It’s a double edged blade made of security and pain,
it’s depressions bed at three am,
it’s saying “i’m okay with this.”
i’m scared.
i’ve been consumed by my selfish wants,
consumed by me craving to hold you,
consumed by dreams of a better reality
Hard to say goodbye to you
But this is the only word, that I can say to you
After all the happiness and tears with you all along
A big step in my life that I have to do
Letting you go away in my life
I got a messed up brain, messed up thoughts,
people say I'm fine, but I guess not.
My vision gradually gets darker,
and my heart feels like it just got shot.
I can feel my skin fall apart,
You you shop for you self
I’m bleeding out
You look away
And say another day
You get a paper cut
And we move in a rush
he could grip his hands around my throar, and push down until
oxgen
was nothing, but a far away dream,
and still
all he would have to do is say its this, or you'll never feel my lips again
Why is the world so judgmental?
Like people,
Hungry animals choose their prey
By looking for the weak or wounded
They pursue them—
‘Temper your enthusiasm,’
She said,
‘The extremes of your reactions;
You should have
A more conventional frame
On which to hang
Your unconventionality.’
‘Don’t push people,’
She said,
Sweet sage. Tears. Hands clinched around another's as we sink, slipping below the original position.
The land shifts like dreams. Massive. Mother loves and cries of her blessings eternally.
Cycle Synechis.
Oh how greatly I hate the winter days
So long, and cold, and void of all ardor
It makes me feel so numb, so very dazed
My feelings in disarray and disorder
Have you ever wondered
Where all that it's rained?
All at the same time
And how many people that's pained?
Flood gates open
Right over the heads
Today was like every other day
It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary
I fear these feelings will never end
I’ll always feel so dark feel so hopeless
It still lingers in me,
How can this sadness be?
The voices telling me what I can and can not be.
Feeling hopeless, every hour.
Like a never blooming flower.
What is the point of life?
I am broken, I am bruised,
I am tierd of being used.
Knowing you don't care about me anymore, hurts.
Knowing I will never be able to love you how I wanted to, hurts.
Why do I have to go through this pain?
I met a boy a late summer dayHe looked at me and refused to satWhat made him so unhappyHe's a blue boyCall him defensiveBut blue boy don't run from meThe help I give is for free
-spend every moment doing meaningless things just to make time pass by faster.
-take a hot bath as to finally feel something warm.
...Half asleep, I hear a light rustle outside my window then a sunk on the right side of my bed. You lightly shook me and smiled. As always, conversation turns into an argument.
You were like an onion
Hard but easy to peel
Wondering how far I should stand away from you before cutting you
Before you start to make me cry
Again
Knowing you make me cry everytime
if you ever miss me
and hesitate if you should call
to tell me or not...
just whisper it to the wind
and let it carry your words on...
maybe i'll be able to feel the coldness of your heart then
When I was young,
I was so carefree,
At least that’s how
It seems to me,
Ain’t it sad
How things turn out to be?
Full of hope,
Full of passionate dreams,
A thrilling new world
When you walked away from me,
I began to walk closer towards you
But the cool breeze flying through me
Only reminded me
Of the love you once had for me
Up Ahead
Stands a figure
A hooded figure.
All around me is chaos,
the screams from the Fields of Punishment
Echoes in my head.
His hand reaches to me.
A soft smile that says
Is that my heart in your pocket or are you just happy to hurt me?
What’s a masterpiece like you doing with a disaster like me?
Hey, you see my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m stable?
If it only takes two to tango, then why do you need another dance partner? Are my steps not on time? Are we not following the same rhythm? Do I not move when you move? Or perhaps it’s you who can’t keep up with the beat.
They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yet grass continues to grow every time it is cut. The sun continues to rise every time the moon has pulled it away.
Do you know?
Do you know what happens to a fish without water?
Do you know what happens to a fire without air?
Do you know what happens to the trees without sun?
he and i
laying on a soft quilt
the cloud cover making the room dimly lit,
but even then i can make out the details in his face;
like the freckles sprinkled acrossed his right cheek,
You’re not here anymoreto laugh at my stupid jokesand say “I love you”to make me feel specialor loved in any way.You’re not here anymoreto make me breathethe air that you’ve become to me
You know what they say
and you’ve heard what they’ve said
Go seize the day
Don’t stay home in bed
But my head is too heavy
And each move is a battle
My bones are not ready
You hit me hard
You played your cards
You broke a glass
And caught the shards
you broke my heart
tore it apart
You left me here
Nowhere to start
So the story goes
I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy
I’m sorry that I can’t make myself happy
I’m sorry that happiness isn’t a language I speak
But I loved you
I’m sorry if I pushed you away
I am drifting, a lonely piece of driftwood covered in pale moonlight on an open sea. I don’t know where I am going nor where I came from, but I am drifting. I feel hollow, empty like a piece of me is gone and it can’t be replaced.
I’ve been trying for weeks
But I can’t seem to find it
I’ve been biting my cheeks
like the idea is inside them
But the blood starts to pool
with its signature taste
I feel like a fool,
i would brighten the sun to keep you warm,
but you just put on a jacket.
i would wipe your tears to make sure you can see,
but you use your sleeve.
i would search for you in a crowded room,
i'll admit it
i am not much of a poet
i do not know much about rhyming
i just know about the individual
and how it is hard to be original
how we sit here and talk about nothing
Yes I am broken, but I am not defeated. I am like a salmon breaking through the surface of the water in order to fight the current. I am a glow stick breaking in the hands of a child on a summer evening, spreading my light.
A loose excerpt from The Icarus Complex:
There was a child named Icarus,
Who always dreamed of touching the stars.
They had wonderful intelligent parents.
God were they intelligent,
23: that’s how many days it took to stop thinking about you every time I woke up. It’s how many times I sat alone with hurt in my eyes this year alone.
I wish I could tell you
I have something to say
But when I finally try to
You walk far away
The somethings a secret
That only I know
I tried hard to keep it
But it’s starting to show
What if I could live in a world in which I never fell for you? What if I never fell for you? What if I never fall again? Never feel the scrape of my knees hitting earth again.
All of a sudden you’re falling
You’re running a marathon, free like a bird, but then all of a sudden you’re falling.
You know, there is a possibility that I am not spider man. Probably a small one, but it’s still a possibility. I mean Spider-Man must wake up with an emptiness in the left side of his chest looking to the right side to the emptiness of his bed.
Cadbury eggs at 1 AM
How much lower could you be?
I know that it does not mean much
But it could be two or three?
Besides don’t I deserve this?
For waking up before it was 2
Do you remember the days, the nights, the adventures we always used to share? Flying away on wings of laughter that were built on mutual care. Five good friends and lots of fun was all I used to need.
I once had the chance to take a stand
To give the world my helping hand
Or make a difference in this land
But I walked away
When I was young I loved to dance
To put my soul into a trance
These heavy hearted warriors
With medals on their wrists
These sadness stricken gladiators
The world can not resist.
They fight their daily battles
You do not need a second job
My mother used to say
But ma I’ve got this mouth to feed
And bills I’ve got to pay.
Isn’t one enough for you
To land you on your feet?
Just one more
I promise that’s it
Just one more
Then I promise I’ll quit.
Those lies you spoke
for so many years
An ocean of needles
and too many beers.
Can you smell the smoke?
like the smell of summer nights we can barely remember,
sitting in circles around a glowing red light.
Do you hear the distant crackle?
As I sit here in this class surrounded by the usual humdrum of teachers and students, I reminisce on the days in my aunt’s backyard. I reminisce on how it felt to simply lay on the lush soft grass with her dog.
the memories of you have burned a hole into my brain,
theyve singed my hair,
painted the walls ash-grey.
i asked if i could burn the sweatshirt
but it wasnt your face i was looking at,
The salt stings my eyes,
As tears blur my vision.
But I refuse to let them fall.
The skin on my palms now covered wih little crescent moons,
As the fear of losing you becomes real
The salt stings my eyes,
As tears blur my vision.
But I refuse to let them fall.
The skin on my palms now covered wih little crescent moons,
As the fear of losing you becomes real
your touch it lingersit lingers on my skinyou were so warm I never wanted to give inas tears fall from my eyes now I can finally seeit was never you it was meI want to see youI want to feel
Our last dying rose
The thorns that hold the grace but
Love knows no way to survive because
He kissed me
He took something
A first of many
Something I followed with a smile
To mask my fear
I didn’t feel any different
But I knew
Something was different
nothing turns into something
im surrounded with grey rays of dim light
a storm cloud looms over my head
they catch the rain but the storm doesnt pass
my clothes are soaked and my mascaras running
hey
howve you been?
it feels as if we havent talked in a while
what are you doing?
you seem busy
Me, Myself and I.
Everyday, I wake and try
One step at a time.
Everyday, I wake and cry
One time, I was small
And carefree, lovely, and kind
I was just...
Me, Myself and I.
They say the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree,
But I have tried so hard to just be free.
Trapped in the life that was killing me.
I was 16 when Mocha died.
I should have seen it coming.
She'd been sick for a while, we'd had to cut her tail because of a tumor and she couldn't breathe too well.
She wouldn't go back upstairs, no matter how hard I tried.
i pull off my heavy-weight sweatshirt
i weigh myself
ranking up to nearly 100 pounds
im satisfied for now
Tears well up in my eyes.
I can see through your eyes.
My heart is falling into pieces.
I'm gonna capsize.
These emotions welling up inside of me.
I can't face it alone.
Wow,
What a mouthful
But the title is true
You know who you are
This is about you
You’re a lier
A cheat
Long hair gets in the way as the guitarist starts to strum, eyes closed, nails long, nails painted, mic close
she’s mine, i’m hers, honey, darling, baby, love me and i’ll love you
hope is elusive,
something hard to find
and hard to have.
but yet we all hope for a better future and a better lover
why?
Memory erasing
Mindlessly awaking
Walking through a dream I'm making
Slap me in the face
Untie me where it chafes
Release me from this dream
I want to be awake
Take me from my home
if 11:11 were real
i wouldn’t wish for you to stay
instead,
i would wish to un-know you
to heal,
for joy,
and for self-love
i would wish for the things that you took from me
a few days agoi wanted to sit down and write about how unappreciated you werenot that i changed my mind, noi still believe thatbut todaytodayi'm hurti'm hurt that
welcome friend, it's dark down here.
for most, it's much too grim
the table's set with plates half empty
the cups spill o'er their rims
I'm sorry I closed off
a generic ringtone, a sound foreign to this 2am hour
a beat as we freeze, glancing down, and then up
"hello?"
a motion towards the bottle
clink, pour, swallow
"things aren't looking too good"
a pause
Empty
It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise.
Understanding Death
Death is abstract.
It comes in varying forms,
and sneaks up on you.
Suddenly, she appeared.
One Hundred and Sixteen
These quiet halls are bleak with emptiness.
My footsteps, slow and loud, alert no one.
The door to my room grows taller,
I guess it’s like God in human form; I guess it is God sleeping, and I’m on the moon ready to jump. It could be any moon— discovered; contemporary. I think God sleeps on Enceladus...
Darkness darkness, I open my eyes still darkness
Voices call out all bitter "nothing! Your nothing"
I call out no awnser
Darkness steals my voice
More voices still bitter
Acceptance of pain
I am in a constant state of dream and nightmare
One moment,
The sun is smiling at me,
showing me the world in bright colours,
helping me laught at the bipolarity of life.
You were my big brother though we weren't blood,
Through everything you always came through,
Now that you are gone my tears begin to flood,
Wished I could've said goodbye, who would've knew?
i love and hate you
for you are both an enemy
and sometimes an ally
you manipulate my emotions
bringing them farther down
until happiness becomes very high to reach
you take advantage of my happiness
waiting....
hours go by.
it took a hole in me
leaving me empty, cold and mourning.
as it eats me up
leaving me with nothing but burning lungs and a broken heart.
A rose by any other name
Has thorns that are just as sharp.
An ocean in any other day
Will drown you if you try to run.
I feel happy at the moment.
But I think it’s like a high, or a rush
So
When will my high
Come back down?
I don’t want to be there for that
I don’t want it to happen
The biggest lie I ever told myself was that I wouldn't stay up too late
Studying or doing work.
Now that I'm on my senior year of high school all of that
Went out the window.
it was the sun that became my friend
from school to school
to house to house
the sun remained.
as friends realized
soon i will just leave again.
the sun remained.
family couldn't accept me
A ball of anxiety, curled in my stomach.
That bad boy spreads into my heart and brain,
Causing quite a havoc.
Hello, anxiety.
I am just soft serve
dipped in hard chocolate
melting on the inside
but still remaining solid
to the eyes of the beholders
I am older now
things are easier to get over now
What is your biggest regret?
Starting this semester offWith the deep questions, I see.
Regrets? That’s what they want from us?
Regrets are easy. I’ve got tons.
I loved you how only a Midwesterngirl would love a tornado warning.I didn’t want the sunshine; Iwanted wild, whirling,in-the-moment April
My therapist said that I might have PTSD;that the sight of any bug in my bed may send
me into hysterics. She says that I’m scythingtoo much skin off around my ankles, and my
His sharp, sterile grimace is chippingat me—two yellowingblue-milked eyespaintingthe deep, red hills aroundmy spine.
i’m still bitter about it
but i think i’ll always be bitter about it
but just because i’m bitter
doesn’t mean i miss it
miss YOU
i suppose i’ll always be upset
that YOU moved on so easily
Nothing ever happens between us.
I try and try and try, but my words stick in my throat.
God knows how I feel, how I've felt
How can you torture me so?
The truth is I love you
One day you're home,
and then another you are left all alone.
Abandoned, gone, and lost.
Looking around like theres been a holocaust.
People say life is black and white-
There came a point last year when I realized I've grown;
I wasn't the same person that walked through the front doors freshman year;
It was as if the narative of my life had taken a different tone;
I thought you were doing fine, I didn’t know what was wrong,
I thought you'd push through it, that you were invincibly strong,
As a friend I should have supported you, helped you along the way,
At the age of 4, I began new adventures;
A hedgehog, a vampire, no, a gamer starting to venture.
I was new and inexperienced, I just didn’t understand,
Like Kindergarten and field trips, I was entering a new land.
im not exactly sure how it began or when it started, all i remember is that you were distant towards me for what seemed like the second week in a row since we last actually tal
Fear is a looming gray
Looks like a rainy day where the sun won’t come out
Smells like the stink of sulfur
Tastes like bitter acid
i am so afraid that all these
unfulfilled expectations,
meaningless romances,
broken promises,
are going to turn me so cold
that the next person that touches me
will freeze
I stare at the Sakura tree,
Night after night,
Day after day,
Waiting for it to blossom.
I watched the tiny buds,
Night after night,
Day after day,
Just waitting for it to happen.
I look at the shiney golden ticket in my miniscule hands.
The fog from the train clouds my eyes as I experience nostalgia from watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as a kid.
He brings danger before me
A story of a lover an a fool
A story how painful love can be-
A story of life is far too cruel
The two souls wished to keep their courtship pale
His genocidal urges were now set
i look into his eyes
as he stands there
watching my tears fall,
knowing that he will
never see me the way
i see him.
“do you love me?”
her bright eyes dig into your soul,
her star-spun fingers twitch nervously.
star-spun imagination
making everything about the sky
see the galaxies in her eyes
the stars in her hair
Baby girl whered you go
Planned a date but you dont know
Bought them tickets to the show
Come to me so we can flow
Last night i dreamed about you
Forever with you, you know this is true
Hold me. Hold me and don't let go. No matter what happens, promise me you'll stay. Promise me I will always have a place in your arms, but don't make a promise you can't keep.
i didn't quite understand
until judas knocked at my door,
and held my hands in his.
"I forgive you," he told me
"now forgive yourself."
"what your biggest fear?"reads the paper above. you remember the ache in your chest, not a few months backwhen you had spiraled down and slipped through the cracksyou remember the down you had hit years agothe doctor said it would come againit tur
When did my feelings become second to yours? Why are my opinions wrong and absurd? When did my silence become your turn to speak? Why, to you, am I small and weak? Why am I bad even if I’ve done nothing to you? Why, when I give the world, do you a
You asked me to write for you,
So I wrote of a boy with stars in his eyes,
A bright soul, and his heart on his sleeve.
I wrote about how he died and how the light left his eyes
Your flame-seared name...
It burns...
When I learned of you,
Dear Flame,
The games you play,
The hearts you slay,
When I found this out
All thoughts of you
Just went away
Dipping my toes
Into the endless midnight blue
To me,
it's a deadly hue.
First my ankles,
Then up to my knees.
Pause.
Remind myself to breathe.
My clothes are wet now
Ode to Myself
What a tragic image…
a beautiful tempest
Your typhoon
touches my land
I am reminded of the image.
Will I catch you
before the damage?
Self Portrait as the Weeping Willow
Reservoir in my eyes,
current of my heart,
snapped the twigs of
my veins.
The fear, I feel. From
My head to my toes.
All I could see,was a fine silverit was so quick,but my heart was even faster,for this silverit could not outrunme in this raceBut, sadly I couldnot replace me for youas my regret
I pull myself deeper
as my mind is a weight that
pulls me down
into the ocean where
all the strange and ugly creatures
make their home in my
abandoned temple
worn down by the hands of
Can I be?
Could you stay?
Do I deserve?
Should you help?
I could try.
You could too.
Morning sky,
Less blue than you.
They asked me what are some different types of drugs
For me a drug isn't cocaine or pills it's a person
He is my drug
He is what I got addicted to
He is what makes me feel like i'm floating
When I was small
I would believe
That Fairies surrounded me
And protected me
From the bad
But when I grew
My fairies turned to dew
And formed my tears
And leaked to the ground
The rain is my peace.
My eyes were the ocean.
My heart in ruins.
I shook violently as the droplets struck me.
.
The rain is my peace.,
For she cannot see my tears.
I see you in every angry fight,
every bruise,
and in every goodbye that is never said.
~awatr
Her eyes reminded me of the old embers in the fireplace,
unkempt by my absent father.
~awatr
I spent every waking minute thinking of you.
And when I shut my eyes at 3am?
There you were again.
~awatr
I told you that you took my breath away;
Little did I know that you were suffocating me.
~awatr
I stole a friend, I took them hostage, I held them here to listen.
You didn't know me when I pulled my gun, you didn't know what I wanted.
You begged for your life, I begged for you to listen.
Every weekday is agony.
Dread the time it takes to learn.
Beg the clock to tick faster.
Get on your knees and pray
to a being that you’ll soon forsake.
This is the story
Of a girl
Who had everything
But felt nothing
She wasn't beaten
She wasn't bullied
Her home life was fine
The night is my closest friend
But all of that is pretend
For in the waking hours
It then sours
Depression is deep
Quite like the black hole of sleep
It takes you away
Never to see the light of day
No matter my plight
It still puts up a fight
A tight emptiness in my throat
A quick consideration of options but endlessly told to say nothing
Youth does not hide the terror in trying or the knife swallowed as i do nothing
“Together forever”
“Together until the end of time”
That’s what we used to say
But every promises
Are meant to be broken
Everything has changed
We’re slowly getting further
I noticed you,
Walk with her this morning,
Hand in hand
She’s very pretty,
Match your own beauty
Who is she?
Is she the last person you think,
Before you go to sleep?
Oh, how I hate this day,
It reminds me of everyone I’ve lost.
It fills my soul with dread,
It breaks down my mind.
It reminds me that I’m alone,
I come to the realisation
that
I can’t remember those winters,
the winters of my childhood.
It was really good at all times,
and it was really bad.
Now it’s bad all the time.
The darkness envelops me.
No one sees it.
No one will.
Only me.
I feel it,
I see it,
And I know it.
Good bad Light dark Evil spreading through the parks Lurking behind you like a shark You turn around and jump in fright But try and try with all your might To see the good within the beast You find it, relieved, to say the least But there are ma
All this time I’ve livedin another reality.All I did was giveand I was happy.
My reality is notwhat you would expect.But I wasn’t taught to not let it affect.
You gave me love for one day
I see you constantly and what do you say?
Absolutely nothing
I am told this is the way you are
That you love to be loved and fail to give any
Air is an acquired taste
That most want to breathe
But my own air is two parts heartbreak
One part grief
It burns my lungs
It burns my lips
It burns my tongue
Falling in love with him was not my first mistake, but my biggest one.
I mean, I could have easily said, "No" to his sea foam eyes,
But they just sucked me in like a tsunami in the ocean of my heart.
Even though the sky weeps with us today, tomorrow shares the warmth of sunshine and friendship, healing our sorrows in the light of rainbows.
You painted me out to be desperate
But theres a difference between desperation and being hopeful
I waited for you because I was hopeful not desperate
I was hopeful for us but I didn’t need us to workout
How to express yourself to yourself
Living life fake and wishing to be better
A mind were there is no control makes you think of the dark creeping inside
My vision darkens.
My stomach churns.
My heart races.
You saw my pain but you used me anyway.
~awatr
I’d laugh
Care
Understand
Feel empathetic
Love
But all of this and more I’d still have if you hadn’t ripped my heart out and kept it for yourself
I loved her, she said I convinced
Her otherwise
That broke my heart
Was she my sweetheart?
I’m not sure..
Do I still love her now?
Of course I do, but I was a fool
A place to ourselves as we cleaned off the shelves
My, how things pile over time
Our hearts were racing as our fears we were facing
The whole night, I ate maybe a dime
Heart of stone has I
None may ever
Pull the strings
Of quartz
That is beating
In my chest of lead
At the sight of
Dandelions sure do look like flowers
But they're weeds that wilt in just a few hours
To my untrained eye, it looked like a real dollar bill
But a distorted George screamed "Counterfeit" and still
The same day that you said you would stay forever,
Is the the same day that you had left me,
Forever.
It was my fault, I know.
When I feigned myself as someone I wasnt,
some days i just feel like cryingno particular reasonjust, i have to do it or elsei feel like i haven’t said helloto myself quite yet
You were there when I needed you the most…
When I was breaking under pressure,
Like a sapling overburdened with snow.
I always thought of myself as a mighty oak,
Just a reconnection. Please, it is all I ask.
Just one spark could set ablaze our past.
We could be something again.
But this time, we’ll last.
I still listen to all the songs you told me about. It's like the only piece of you I have left. They bring back bittersweet sadness. In myself, I've found some of you.
You've always compared me to a rose and I never quite understood why. Is it because I'm pretty? Or is it because I have thorns? Is it because, if you get too close you'll hurt yourself?
Hey, you.
Yeah, you.
It's ok to be sad.
But I just wanna tell you that you're loved.
Okay?
It's ok to want to be alone.
But I just wanna tell you that I'm here for you.
Okay?
Sometimes I believe that I have everything I could ever want, other times it feels like I am falling into a dark place and I begin to see them haunt.
Your eyes were like a tired sunset,Shining with a soft amber light,Seeing the beauty in even the ugliest of things.
It swirls within me,
Messing up my insides,
Organs queasy and tightening.
My heart pounds,
A drum with a messed up beat,
Fast and unpaced.
You wouldn’t want to know,
What happened that night.
The fires had come and gone,
Burning all the forests down.
Landslides in the hills and mountains,
A tsunami that had come from the ocean.
there is another thing that I cant unseemy brother smilewhen he used to see me
he used to smilebut now its clouds
I hurt him so muchI cant even begin to describe what he could feel
I’m jealous of the clouds,
that are full of rain,
how they must feel when they pour down,
everyone knows that they are sullen,
my empytyness is hidden by a smile.
Fragility is the stability of the broken mind
Do not confuse the lies that hold the two down
To be fragile is the empowerment of the vulnerable
To be stable is the advantage of the emotional
my thousand pound heart
lie dormant in my chest
feeble now from the effort
bumbling softly through my sweater
I don’t notice the warmth anymore
cold wind stings my cheeks red
It’s something so dark,
Enchanting and hard to remark
From the beginning to the end,
Not even the brightest of humans will comprehend.
It’s something so dark,
Sung with the dullest spark
All I have are memories,
But I barely remember them,
I miss you,
I know your in a better place now,
I'm happy for you,
I wish I could of had more memories.
There's a boy I know
That mostly sticks to his own,
He doesnt speak much
But hald assed insults,
He closes his eyes
More often than all of the time,
Shy boy
Quiet boy
Tired boy.
Digging through my mind,
Searching for the reasoning behind
'Why can't I?'
Too much of my scalp beneath my fingernails.
My friend waves a phone in my face and huffs.
It's a brand new girl everyday.
My friend points and judges this girl with anger.
She finds flaws in each and every way.
Get up from bed and something isn’t right
Everything is muddled, dirty and foggy
I scream and cry not knowing what is going on
I go to the bathroom and see Myself in the mirror
I could see her face
Deep in the storm clouds
Smiling at me
Saying “Come here,” but how?
I got the crew to safety
Told them to go to their wives
But I couldn’t go
You know what?
I'm tired of the bullshit
Oh you wanna talk?
Maybe I'd have time if I wasn't I fed up
Always mouthing off
About how you this and that, not!
You always on this hype
I can see the hate in your eyes
It doesn’t matter to me.
All I asked for was to be left alone,
But you didn’t listen to me.
It just keeps going on,
And I’m tired of you
I can’t get any peace
tiptaptiptap
fingers on the table
rhythmless and bland,
we cut off the cable.
tiptaptiptap
rain on the window
erratic and soothing,
we watched the world go.
tiptaptiptap
Liked by many though I still feel alone,
Surrounded by others but still trecking on my own.
they try to understand my pain but they have different trials,
though no one truly hurts me death begins to beguile.
Confusion.
That is the first emotion I felt when I found out
My favorite step sibling had done the unthinkable-
Suicide.
I wondered, who could've seen this coming?
Not me,
Hi daddy.
Remember this morning when you left for work
You promised to come play with me when you got home.
I set up the teacups and food for us with mommy
Oh! And I made the tea that’s actually water all on my own.
You told me, "It's over..." again. I know that, Jorge... It's been over.
You know that and I know that.. And of course...
You KNOW I know that.. So who was the validation for?
There's nothing more I'd like to do,
then snuggle in close and fall asleep with you..
I really want to call you...
& tell you I still care...
But I know you won't say it back....
& I don't think it's fair..
There's a place for everything and everything in its place..
Well, where do I put the memories of the past I can't erase?
If I could build the truth for you, I'd make it out of titanium steel...
I'd weld it together with all of the reasons -WHY- I STILL feel the way that I feel...
FOR: My Ex Now, but My Love ONE 4ever.. J.G. (*BTW, MOST of poems are about him....)
I'm glad you took everything that would remind me of you..
Cause I don't want to remember anything we went through.
This thing called life changes from good to bad. Where were the signs? I should have saw the signs. All my fears comingto life. Disbelieve is my heart, for the road i have to take there's longsuffering and malaise.
doesn't it rain sometimes
on the inside
and isn't it funny
your umbrella can't be opened
because it's bad luck.
I'm the cold air that you breath
The heat of hell beneath your feet
Now I'm here and then I'm there
I was your happiness but now I'm despair
From a racing car at the dawn of life
The peace I will feel when,
my eyes are unable to blink,
when my legs are unable to swing.
the peace I will feel when,
my hair stops growing,
mouth stops smiling.
The peace, when my heart
Euphoria,
the feeling a bee feels
when it finds a daisy.
the feeling a dog has,
when it finds a bone
a bird, a seed.
a lion, a zebra
me, you.
I feel like an artist,
Desperately trying to blend,
My darkened soul,
Into the rainbow that was once,
My mind.
Your hands slowly,
Trace their way down my thigh.
Your lips,
Make their way to my chest.
But what is lust,
If we don’t have love?
Smile.“I’m fine.”Smile.“Just tired.”Smile.“oh, sorry, I’ve been busy.”Smile.Smile.Smile.
It’s funny,isn’t it?How hard it is to tell the difference between a smile
She sadly walks away
Because you never had a heart
There was no love
Right from the start
She gave you everything
But, you threw it down the drain
When those walls close in
they told me
don’t if youre gonna leave him
they told me
don’t if youre gonna break his heart
and yet
i decided yes
and i fell
Tear stains
underneath her eyes.
Sick of being used
for the things she hates
about herself.
“Why do you fall so hard, heart?’
Why do you trip
falling downhill
The person I hate, someone I blame: myself.
Devoid of meaning or direction. Moving in circles
Blindly searching for the destination. I’m a bookshelf
Without books. Incomplete. Lonely.
All I have left is three words for you
Correction, that is all you have left me with
Three little words comprised of 8 little letters have been left to summarize us
Roses are red and wilted too, I've tried and I've tried to please you, built you a home with my sweat and blood, and in return get treated like crud, I gave you all of the riches and gold, you promised me together we'd grow old, I've tried and tri
Swimming through water so black,My heart beats dully in its cage.Not a soul should see the crack,Splitting in pieces with conquering rage.
Here I sit
Without me
Without you
I feel like my throat is closing in
Im not sure what this feeling is
Doom
Doom comes over me without warning
I feel like I need to scream but can't
My sister used a quarter in a machine the other day,
one that drops random surprises, mostly worthless
but still they are kept, for reasons unbeknownst by most
As the claw picked up a ball, stale candy joining the fall
Lo and behold, inside of me
in a crooked corner that plays hymns of once spoken words and memories,
there lies a prophecy
Encased in glass to be broken in bed positioned moments of convincing
Look at the way at how you treat your lady
She seems bitter and confused
Darkness sadly surrounds her
As a result of your abuse
She put her trust in you
And you have let her down
I've seen things I never meant to see
And dreamed of places I'll never go
With you
Well, maybe you're just an archetype
But not the soul sent to save mine
From you
Some of the sunshine disappears
When a loved one sadly passes away
You think of all the good times you had
Each and every day
Those precious memories are still there
Even though that your mom is gone
I feel like I am drowning. Silently burning underwater
every time I try to breath, I remember
I must conserve my air.
Force it back.
Stay alive for just a little longer.
I loved a boy,
who loved himself.
With my arms right around his body,
i felt cold.
He kept me at a distance, I complied. Lovestruck.
I only wished for love in return,
It kills to see happy in other facesSeeing the bright and wonder in their eyesI present glossed eyes and sympathySad eyes play syphonies for broken heartsTo ponder and paceWhat a simple life that awaits
i dont know if im really who i say i am if im happy if im great who knows what i am no one but me. but im making sure that even knows my image and my heart im sad and happy who i am limbo i just want to obtain that one thing every human desires ha
Trapped in an asylum of comfort and love
I’ll never truly know what I’m capable of
Sorry Mom, I leave you behind
But you have a piece of my heart worth
A collection of lifetimes.
Within the clouds
I find nothing
But within your voice
I see something
In the distance,
The dark is near
But in my heart
The stars are clear
with time comes responsibilty.
only those who can partake in such things such as a job are said to live happy
but does money makes us "human"
does being wealthy make us proud and lovable?
I was in love with you before even knowing your existence.In your eyes I saw the meaning of love when you first looked at me. And I was wondering how? And why Me?
I was lost and alone,
Hopeless and afraid,
Storms raging, endlessly...
But I lit my own torch!
I Braved my own storm!
The mentor I had.....
Was ME.
In a matter of days, I have become addicted to letting go.
Letting go of the food that my mouth consumed only hours before.
The smell of vomit filling my nose like gasoline
it burns.
To forget would be a blessing,
to remember, a curse. Remember how he held my shoulders down
covered my screams with a sweaty palm, ripping
all pride from my body. I felt rage as he plunged through my body,
Her lullaby is sung by her tears just to awaken to the same Melody. Her smile is faked so she can face the world. There are no words to calm the sadness that over flows onto her face when she's alone.
Ako'y nanliit
Sumikip bigla ang dibdib
Nagmukmok sa kwarto
Puno ng pighati
Agad tinanong sa sarili
'' Panget ba ako? ''
'' May mali ba sa akin?''
'' May kulang ba sa akin? ''
The voices around me makes me wanna do something I shouldn’t.
Can you get underneath that, interpret that.
Understand on a subatomic level the danger of those words no one will truly comprehend.
My heart feels so empty whenever you're not near
I wish from deep inside of me, you can always be here
I know though that you would soon grow sick, glued unto my side
As my aura slowly kills everything aside
Dear mom I'm falling , I'm turning myself in I'm sorry for being born I'm sorry for all that I have done wrong
The beautiful teacup sits on the window ceil, catching everyone’s eye.
Her beautiful painted face, is all they need to see
To them she looks happy
This teacup is me
But if you come closer and pick her up
Like the tide
You come in
And out
Of my life
Salty water
Seeking to
Cleanse
Seeking to
Burn
Red eyes,
Flaming
Cheeks
Seagulls
Help. I’m alone and I can’t cry for help
There are monsters stabbing my mind, I must conceal from everyone else
When it comes to being loved, I simply just repel
I don’t want to nail the floor, I am lost with no direction
Drops of water descending from the silver faucet
Looking at the arms that once belonged to a pure soul
A dark feeling rushes from head to toe
As the blade is drawn upon her tender forearms
I saw you today.
You sat there and laughed.
I was near certain
That I was going mad.
I watched you sit there,
With a laugh and a smile.
I nearly started crying.
Haven't seen them in a while.
I wake in the morning,
And the first thing I do
Is start to get high
To not think about you.
I take a long puff
To forget about your sorrow.
Take another one in
To forget about tomorrow.
Here lies the time of which it commenced
The days past as every sand
Of the hourglass
In a fell swoop of descending
If the cosmos were mine to mix
And the beauties thereof, mine to possess
Home...
It was a typical
day. The same people
taking their daily walks and the
same children playing. Their smiles
precious, but unfortunately temporary.
Within human introspection comes a price,
A revelation to the darkness of the mind.
Venturing inside requires the roll of the dice,
Are you ready for something not so kind?
I would say Shel Silverstein was our first friend
That's how we learned where the sidewalk ends.
Bet you thought this poem was going to rhyme
But that was the only line I could get out my mind (just kidding) head .
I remember your smile,
The way it would light up your face.
How your laugh would sound,
And sing throughout my body.
I remember your anger,
And how it would scare me.
The way you'd get sad
I'm drowning in a world
Where you are the air.
I'm starving in a land
Where you are the sustenance.
I'm dying of thirst
Where you are an oasis.
I'm left behind
From where you had to go.
the rain pounded heavily last night
drops of water ran slowly down the car windows
matching the silver trails of the tears that wound down my cheeks
rough hands that weren't yours stroked my skin
Browsing the shelves of knowledge that I have retained in my mind,
I take a moment to reminisce and bring to light what I gathered from every life experience.
Love.
Pen scratching gainst the page
words whipping in her mind
letters bleeding into the page
as a way to be safe instead
skin full of old scars
tears dried up in her eyes
instead of inflicting pain
I miss you a lot… I miss you a little
sometimes a lot feels too little.
I wait for you here -but you will never be near;
you left me alone
stranded in tears
I hurt so bad, it's getting hard to breathe
How I feel inside, well you wouldn't believe
Thanks for making me cry, what I total waste of makeup
This nightmare feels so real, come on Maddie, wake up
Why won't you treat me like I'm perfect?
Why won't you treat me like I'm worth it?
You ripped my heart right out of my chest
You did things to it that I never would've guessed
Couples don't treat each other this way
Having a broken heart makes it so hard to breathe
I begged you to stay, but I ended up having to watch you leave
Best friends? Best friends till the end?
I guess with time my broken heart will mend
My family and I have been through some rough times, but them kicking me out is the worst part
They left me confused, feeling unwanted and with a broken heart
I'm going to have to find new ways to let all of this pain out
I'll be satisfied once I can see all my bones pressed against my skin.
Society taught me that you're only beautiful when you're paper thin.
They say that beauty is only skin deep
Why do we do this stupid little dance?
It's very well coordinated and I know the steps by heart
But you don't seem to understand that with each twist and turn we destroy what we have
It's broken down into simple steps
Poetry
Was always there
Whether the darkness was
Or wasn’t
Whether family was
Or wasn't
Poetry
When someone you love dies
and you are not expecting it,
You don’t lose them all at once:
You lose them in pieces and fragments over a long time –
Their scents and fragrance begin to fade
Like I drug I was addicted
I couldn't see that you were vindictive
Using me to get back at her
Shattering my fragile heart like a mirror
Freezing over from the coldness of your heart
Her heart was ice and It was breaking.. killing her. Slowly she is losing herself, by giving herself to him. The love she was giving him, he was giving to the other girl.
what is a beat
dusk to dawn
settled down influenced by the near uprising
peaceful. safe.
chained within
If I could ask for one more dayThat I could be yoursI’d bask in moments, the love, the security.the purity in our intentionsBefore we refused to speak what was unintentionally mentionedThe lies you’d cry
when i told you that you were so much more i didn’t expect you’d make me feel like i was so much less
you saw the stars in my eyesyou heard the ocean in my voiceyou smelled the breeze in my breathyou felt the galaxy in my bodyand the
You have sadly thrown your life away
You are drowning in misery
Poor decisions have been made on your part
As a result of hanging around bad company
You need to wake up
And take your life back
In every night, there is a morning.
In every morning, there is a night.
But in the darkness of every night, there will never be a light.
I see how intensely
you take a drag
on your cigarette
down
toward
the bottom
of your lungs
as the hands of the smoke
suffocates you
Dear,
My mother’s ex-boyfriend of two years,
My biological father left when I was six
And ever since then, I've been looking for someone to fix
I used to think that all wood was still a tree,alive and strong branches supple and willing to supportleaves, fruit,two little girls full of dreams.Within the cracksin the walls
His tongue tastes of wine
I feel childhood memories on his spine.
His eyes shimmer like the sea
I know why he has that scar on his knee.
His lips taste like cherries
I watch him devour some Ben & Jerry's.
I see you on every fuzzy border and margin,
In every memory and sentiment.
Sometimes you bleed in like a watery cloud of steam on the glass wall,
And sometimes you peek through the windows,
Through my fogged up glassesThe world looks somewhat softerA crumb calmerA fraction friendlierIt looks adequately welcomingmore mellowslightly sweetBut just for a moment.My glasses clear
there is a little rain cloud that hangs above my head
it follows me whereever I go, to wherever I am lead
sometimes it will disappear and the sun will shine anew
but nowadays it never leaves and i don't know what to do
another relationship
another breakup
today, our one month anniversary
she breaks up with me
after isolating herself for days
blaming me
not even trying to fix things
i wish you the worst, the same that you wished me
i hope you drown, just like you told me
you looked me in the eyes, spring of twenty eighteen
you fucked me up, and i should've just screamed
I told myself I was done with you last night.
I am so over feeling used.
I am far too good at goodbyes
Hating the way I try for you
Heading down a corruptive path
Will put you in a lot of trouble
Your life will sadly become a dead end
If you do not move on the double
Darkness will rear its ugly head
And the walls will come closing in
Racehorse
The Kentucky Derby was yesterday at 4 pm and the bullet shot
Like a fire in the air.
Her eyes are rolled back like the way the sea curls into sand
My mother bought new dinner plates.
I didn't think we needed new ones,
They were five dollars,
She said.
I was against using the new plates. My heart was racing and
flowers need more than water to grow
maybe that’s why I run away at the sight of them blooming
I can’t even remember to water them once a day
how can I sustain them for years?
I don't know why I was attracted to you
Its not like you were a good person from the start
But after it was all over, you left me blue
After you left you still made my life fall apart
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It's scary what hides amongst color.
what colors tend to hide.
a smile hides a falter,
a wristband over red stripes.
it's scary what hides amongst color.
what emotions hide in your eyes.
dark nights,
laying in bed,
wanting the world to just
stop.
cocooned in a blanket,
silent tears,
or maybe
big
loud
sobs.
Cut off my leg and sharpen my bone
I stab myself for every time I thought you wouldn’t leave me alone.
I was an idiot to think that you wouldn’t go
but how the hell would I know
I’ll look forward to the day we can laugh together again
And it will be just like it’s always been
You hurt me more than you’ll ever know
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done was to let you go
Life is meticulous.
it lingers on, trapped
in between the cracks
of "destiny", and "maybe".
and everything is shady
or burning in the blaze of
ray beams ...
and right now its flaming.
I hope the thought of me hurts you and tears you to shreds,
And makes you never want to see me again.
I hope you fight yourself back from calling me,
every time you look at a picture that reminds you,
You exhaled empty promises like carbon dioxide.
And I inhale them like oxygen.
I guess that’s why whenever I was with you, you took my breath away.
And when you walked away was when I could finally breathe.
I love you!
And I don’t know how to tell you that I love you
Is the problem that we’re having here
The thing is you don’t even realize
How much I love you
And you won’t unless I make you realize
ill do something that not even that bad
and you get so fucking mad
but when you do it
im understanding and trust you
im not treated fairly
you never make me feel like you care about me
A surge of fear goes through her heart;
She's all alone and torn apart.
Just weeping softly in the dark
Without a single light or spark.
In the face of every single trial,
The girl had smiled, for she was not afraid,
And with each and every agonizing passing hour,
Her smile grew larger and her eyes shone brighter;
Such darkness there
You find yourself in solitude
Who are you to disrespect your mother?
And be so impolite and rude
Your demeanor must change
If you are going to get somewhere in life
No more tears left
Your on your own
Sleepless nights
All alone
It shouldn't be this way
Love isn't cold.
Wasted hours
Day and night
Hand on your heart
And all was right
Girl, why do you tolerate his mess?
You did everything for him
He never appreciated you
The look on your face is really grim
You put your heart into everything
But, he often made you feel sad and blue
To be in the middle of this,
Should I be a friend
Or should I be more?
Being your friend is wonderful,
But being your lover is a beautiful blessing.
I'm scared, I'm confused, I'm torn;
My blade is tainted red
and it doesn't help when you shout.
i wish that i were dead
so just put me in the ground.
i'm done with stars and banners,
i'm done with tear drops too.
Now i'm laying in a casket
well, do you want to know why?
these stripes across my forearm
i swear they were a cry
i really wanted to tell you
i really wasn't "fine"
but well, you believed me
I am free
I am open
I am a flowing river with words streaming
from my fingertips
pooling on paper.
Expression.
I am alive in a world where many are dead
or maybe not really dead
i have made a huge mistake
i've made it and wish to take
all the pain i've caused away
either tomorrow or today
i don't want to drive away
the people in my life
but it isn't my first mistake
I sit.
And let my rickety bones rest
As I rest,
Irealize how quickly life zooms by, but now I'm sitting on the sideline
As I sit,
I rock back and fourth, wasting the hours away
As I rock,
Oh look how the rose withers.
Oh look how the petals fall.
With time it begins to shrivel,
Till time fine’ly makes its call.
Wheels bearing stiffly on a frozen road,shoes clatter softly on fallen snow,a veil of black covers swollen eyes.
You said that you loved her
But, your actions sing a different tune
Unless your demeanor changes
She will leave you really soon
How can you call it love?
When all you do is manipulate her mind
Bite through it
Push it down
Iron grip, so that you don’t drown
Porcelain face with shattered eyes
Pray to god that
She can’t see the pain
FLAMES BURN EVERY INCH AROUND ME
EVERYTHING I TOUCH TURNS BRIGHT ORANGE
I LIGHT A CIGARETTE WITH MY FINGER
INHALING EVERY BREATH OF SMOKE
THE FIRE BURNS BRIGHTLY
CONSUMING MY LIFE
MY MEMORIES
You need to go away
You have manipulated her heart
Sadly, put her through torture
Right from the start
Cunning and deceptive
You have showed the dark side of your personality
sometimes i dream of a faraway place
sometimes i dream of outer space
sometimes i'm exploring a dangerous trail
sometimes i'm a bird with a feathery tail
but sometimes my dreams turn dark
there is a doll i own
it resembles me, down to the bone
so whenever i start to change my ways
it changes too, on the same days
one day i decided to change it myself
even though i knew it could change itself
RUN INTO MY ARMS
KISS ME UNDER THE MOONLIGHT
SPEND THE NIGHT WITH ME
LOVE ME FOREVER
I SAY YOU’RE MINE
AND YOU SAY I’M YOURS
BUT WHEN YOU HUG ME
WHILE MY EYES ARE CLOSED
You sadly drown in sorrow
Because, you have been led astray
Following bad company was not a good idea
You have drifted away
Window of opportunity will close
There will be nothing for you to gain
He tasted like mangosi couldn't place it until the next daywhen his lips were no longe
Never let your Past catch up to yourself
No matter how much the past stabs your back
keep your head up and run with those who give you hope
We as humans are born to endure hatred and Depression
My name is Cascade Linell
and i'm not fairing to well
but those around me tell
that i 'm feeling swell
but i hide behind a lie,
so that no one can hear me cry
i wish i could just hide
I come to seek a
Great Perhaps
In a world where I can be okay
i'll confess my sins
and won't dwell on the cut communication
i won't Divide the world into versions of me or You
Smile for yourself
Make sure everyone knows you're alive
No one Exists for a Second
The little things matter more than you think
Being told you're Pretty
Being told you're Amazing
And most importantly
We sing like Rain
We scream like Thunder
We shine Like lightning hitting the Crashing Waves
We Mourn like the Storm finally calming itself
We are gloom like the grey Skyies after a Hurricane
(This is a Persona Poem for Min Yoon-Gi)
An inspiration, that’s what we’ll call
my life path.
The melody still rings in my ear when
I hear their claps.
The melody that plays now,
There is a girl here/She spends hours looking out windows/tracing swirls on her skin with a finger/Sometimes I think she's imagining freedom/mostly I imagine she's thinking nothing at all/ Everyone here is broken/but while we still exchange false
counting knots in the wood slats-
the ones i can feel my nonexistent breath bounce off against
the ones holding up the musty mattress that does not get granted a body for most of the year
silent cabin
I want to die,
I'm scared of death,
So sometimes I just hold my breath.
I close my eyes and count to ten,
I pussy out and breath again.
And they speak of age – the elder years.
It’s always tomorrow. And tomorrow has not settled. Now,
Darkness, woe, and failure stench abound.
You look through a glass
I know she’s on your mind
you cry tears of spite
yet your heart remains kind
And you keep on wondering
How a girl loved as she
Would keep you expectant
Darkness It’s what separates the good from evil It’s the lack of good and the lack of light It’s the feeling that creeps inside of you when you least expect it It’s a force strong enough to bring the strongest man to his kneesIt’s enough to drive
I hate the feeling of
nostalgia.
I can try to go on a walk in the
road,
just to clear my head.
But all it does is stuff my head with more
memories.
The summer afternoons after swimming in the
i still sleep
with the light on
in hopes it will travel through my ears
into my dreams
faster than the train did
With this being our last moment together, whether or not you know it.
I owe it to you to be as honest as possible, but that's impossible to do and not hurt you.
I could sit here
tracing lines
in your hands
Outside of time
endlessly
full of dreams
A buzzing phones
the trance that
held me ends
I am thrown
I write to you on this tragic day,
To tell you how you have been betrayed.
This love is fake,
It was never real.
What you felt,
Was just a deal.
You entertain me,
And I make you feel.
I am constantly trying to remain sane but the status of
our relationship is driving me over the edge
or maybe i am already over the edge and the breeze of
Your mother is now gone
But, you can still hear her voice
She will always be there in spirit
To help you make the right choice
Remember those lessons that she taught you
And the times you all spent together
Can you please make me remember,How we started this fight?‘Cause I can't remember,our last good night. What are we doing?I said I loved you, You said you might. This is a jumbled mess,Do you realize?I look at your face,You look away from my eyes.
The sun it shines,The stars they shimmer,The moon it reflects,Yet my world just grows dimmer. Moments I know can never lastand soon they fade into the past.
A break up is something couples dread the most.
It is something couples avoid or else they'll feel lost.
Our significant other is the one that makes us whole.
I cannot wear the red blouse.
Lines that defined my curves taunted my eyes
Blurry tears dripping as I ran faster into dusk
To fit into a teenage concept of “sex appeal”
My Mother is the greatest actress I know
She's able to portray the "perfect" wife when she's around friends because they're all BFFS
She is a volunteer junkie because she cares that damn much
I'm paralyzed.Stuck in these feelingsstuck in my head.It's too late for treatment,I'm already dead.I'v
Nothing but pure madness
As teachers and students run for their lives
Such a dour situation
Filled with corruption and strife
The mark of evil
Has sadly, reared its ugly head
Looking at the stars
Thinking about the place I go every day,
The place I call home
But it doesn’t feel that way.
Home feels like bad dream
Ode to the Hard Holidays
Whether it’s Christmas
Family coming together
Celebrate the birth of Christ
Gratefulness
Whether it’s Thanksgiving
i taught you how to love again. i helped you open up your heart to more than just the familiar. the love you had grown to know.
Remember when I was born?
Remember when we went to Las Vegas?
Remember when we went to Chicago,
Dearest father
I’m eighteen now
Can you believe it
Probably not
You were never there in the first place
So why would you care now
I like to think that sometimes my mother lied about who you are
Dear Dad,
Sometimes I wish I never met you.
1,000 miles used to be the only distance,
But now we're quite through.
And yet, I still think about your existence.
Dear Brad,
I just wanted to thank you…
thank you for being my step-dad, my guardian, and my protector.
These are words I wish I could say to you.
Dear Dad, Hey, it’s been a while, I didn’t really expect you to be gone so soon. How are you doing up there? I know how picky you are, so I can’t assume. Things haven’t been the best since you left, But we are getting by. My
Dear Almost lover,
I'm writing this because I never got closure.
It's been awhile since we've talked
and I think it's time for a disclosure
and I don't want to be mocked.
Dear IT Department,
My PC is dead.
It no longer whirs and beeps
Its CPU is void of warmth
An amateur's cheap creation
I love you in the morning,
with soft sunlight peeking through the curtains
casting over your sleepy face;
eyes dazed,
smile slanted,
The light in her eyes had dimmed
She was no longer,
Then she saw a ire, it burned golden red
The flames were attracted to the darkness within her eyes,
they engulfed her whole being,
Dear Anxiety,
Not a day goes by where I am without you
Not a day goes by where I like you
From holding me back
To making me cry
From filling my head with negatvity
To making me freeze
Dear One,
I miss your smile
I miss your laugh
I miss your spirit and your craft.
When I started this letter it was too late,
I should have written it before this date.
You taught me kindness
Dear Nathan,
I’m sorry I couldn’t say goodbye or even say hello
I wish I could’ve stopped you
And showed you that you weren’t alone
Or if I couldn’t do that
Dear anyone who’s going through a rough time,
Currently, my life is a riptide. Life has slowly began to
come to a high but I know, in time another fall will
follow. I had to be hurt, many times to understand
I dreamt of you last night,
you were smiling and holding me tight.
I stood on my toes to reach your height,
your beautiful face captivated my sight.
Something about you seems so right.
You didn't love me
Because you didn't know how to love
You only knew how to play
So indeed you played,
With my heart. My feelings. My time. My life. My mind.
You say you know what the world means
When you never know your silent screams .
The world is pretty with all to do
Where everyday there is something new .
But tell me this
February 2, 2017
Dear Person Whose Life I Tried to Make Perfect,
Arielle, you were light you were gone before we saw this when you left it was dark I couldn’t see who could replace such a beautiful thing nobody so it stays dark, like the darkness right after the sun sets i pretend like it’
Up and down that's just the way it goes
Some days you're high then others you're low
Life will be great no matter what path you chose
Just remember that somedays you will win and some you will lose
Since I was a little kid, I always had this feeling deep down inside
Dark deep emotion that kept me alive, as I even feared it
You.
I’ve cried more times than i can count today.
I don’t know what will become of us.
I want to stay with you because you do make me happy, but nothing is written in stone.
A Fallen Hero by Steven Isaiah Gilliard
I was known as being tough and respectful.
I was highly respected by my fellow brothers and sisters.
My Sweet Peanut
love of mine
make me smile
all the time
My Small Raisin
on the floor
i giggle at you
you smile some more
My Perfect Balloon
always far from reach
Dear, the unwanted note on my whiteboard,
You stated, "Shut the fuck up cuz"
You were staring at me.
I was a young girl
Confused with the things
I had experienced and seen
I was too curious
I tried to experience love
So imaginative
Dear Future Jeff,
I have so many questions,
Don’t know where to start.
Are we keeping it together,
Or continuing to fall apart?
Right now, I’m really excited,
Not sure what to say.
Dear him,
We were beautiful
Like the the breeze on a warm day
Like the peak of a mountain top, miles away
Your hands were soft
Dear Mom...
I don’t even know where to start with you these days. How are you? It feels weird to say that.
Do you wonder how I’m doing, too?
I’m 25 now,
A woman. Last time you saw me I was a girl.
What if dying isn't deathIf when we leave this world…
The weight of it is simply off our chest
When we take that final breath
they say that in order for someone to
live,
someone must
die.
and now i must know.
who was the one who
died
I was either
too young or too naive
too selfish or too needy,
But your love was the thing I needed.
Never had I loved
someone’s eyes,
0. We all wonder how many times parents pray for a child with no complications before birth.
1.
2.
3. I learned the alphabet but momma is foreign on my tongue like my forgotten native language.
4.
My best friend tried to die twice in the same day.
First with a gun and second with a wire off a hair dryer.
One peron's Heaven
Can be another's Hell
And truthfully I say I hurt
I shudder
I weep
Is something wrong with me?
How unfair must it be
That I am unhappy
Dear Dad,
I look back on the days
When you showed me all of your love
Showed me all of your care
When I thought you just acted tough
Always left your side fast
Dear Ma,
The eleventh of March
Nineteen seventy-nine
Baby born at this time
Little foot with an arch;
Her dark green eyes glistened
As she looked at her mom
Pat held her in her palm
Dear My First Love,
Second guessing my hope in us
Comes from the misguiding thoughts of others
Talk of wanting better for me
Goes through one ear and out of the other
But I know what is best for me
Dear Betrayer,
Sometimes I sit around and think
About how everyone has a focus
One day I could just fly away
And my loved ones wouldn’t even notice
Or maybe they would start to see
To that Fake Fricking Friend
I really, truly, hate you
But I love the heck out of you
You are my beautiful baby but girl you are a benevolent bi-
Biscuit tray delivered from Grandma
Who? Am? I? . . . :’(
(written by an ENFP)
Who am I? I say fuzzily . . .
A tear drips out of my eye, a single droplet.
I am the world’s savior I say . . .
My sad eternal tears keep coming back . . .
And once again I must shed my tears to go and cry . . .
Despair is all I got to hold my back. . .
My sad eternal tears keep coming back . . .
And once again I must shed my tears to go and cry . . .
Despair is all I got to hold my back. . .
Dear Ex Best Friend,
I stand upon the shore of roaring sea
Attempting to see all that I have lost.
I dream what might have been and still might be.
The saddest feeling
Is the one not felt
The one that stays, and is never let out
The one that haunts
and torments
The one that fills you with nothing
the one that soaks you dry
indigestible being
that was the lesson--
you had to leave
they needed to
let you go
even though you thought of youself
as sweet
remember,
you too, were poison.
what's left to say in those whispering tones?
got gasoline in my brain
and ink on my bones.
what's left to recall me; but the walls of my cell?
they say it will heal.
but i think that was hell.
wow look at her
they see my past
judging before looking
nasty rumors fly fast
they see the scars
the way I look
they way it is hard to trust
they all laughed at the fact
on how i acted
When they told meYou had gone away,I didn't thinkThey meant forever. I thought you wereOn vacation,And I was jealousYou didn't bring me. But even now thatI understand whatThey said,I still wish IHad gone too.
Dear Daddy,
I think it's been a while father,
Don't you ever wonder what's going on with your daughter?
It’s been long since you’ve gone,
my romanticizing eyes
leave me tired
with each sweet smile
my heart gets stolen
is it that i’m so desperate
for the love i was robbed of
Of a melancholy tone
She is through with you
Look at what you have done
And the madness you've put her through
Just consider her gone
You manipulated her heart
Always the one to torture
I know you probably have had millions of different people around the world seek out to you. People of different skin tones and cultures, who have been searching for you their entire life's and not to even have a glimpse of you. The real you.
Love is a thing with Arms,it loves to craddle you when most weak -It listens to your thoughts and changes them- All you do is out of love-But what is love might I say-Dreadful tears and sorrowful alibies
Dear YOU,
I know you hear what they say about you, it is hard not to listen.
Their words will not cut smooth like a knife through butter, but like a serrated edge through drywall.
This is our last chance to grieve
Dear Lord, I was only thirteen
The host of trepidation freshly forgot,
You coerced forgiveness from fester and rot
They talk about fairness
And honest wages.
They talk about making it all right.
They make jokes about work unions
And they like to say it's all going to change
Or they quite.
But they are weak.
Inside it is dark
There’s a monster in me
It is something I can not hide
The monster was created to shield
my fragile heart from pain.
to the person i can’t forget,
the sun sets,
taking my happiness with it.
the same way you left,
taking parts of me with you.
and i realize,
after you left,
Little girl, now don't be sad,
I understand your pain,
How you feel there's no way out,
That you have gone insane.
Dear God (if you are even there)
The world is cruel
Most people realize this at a young age
Well at least I did
When I was young, everything seemed so big
my parents fell out of love
screaming silently
they never fought, it was only
tight lipped smiles and
white knuckles on coffee mugs
not listening when the other spoke
and finding away to disagree
Girl, just turn the page
He never was into you
All he did was criticize
And broke your poor heart in two
It was nothing but a facade
A masquerade at that
Do not drown in sorrow
I didn’t mean to choose this.
I didn’t ask to feel like this.
But I do.
I want to feel like normal people do, but I realized that I just cannot.
When you head down a corruptive path
Darkness is what you will often find
Nothing but a somber and gloomy matter
One may sadly lose their mind
All of your trust is thrown out the window
Dear The One Who Hates,
I still remember the days that we shared.
The plucking of flowers and pulling of hair.
The theories of God that would fly through our heads
Big Brother watches us, down on the ground,
Doing what we are told, not making a sound.
We listen, follow commands, its our nature,
No other lifestyle that we know.
Telescreens looking close, that's the game,
The girls wore pink,
and the boys wore blue
The girls did ballet.
and the boys played guitar.
The girls wore makeup and jewelry
and the boys wore jerseys and Nikes.
The girls and the boys
Your ray of sunshine hath died. <br>Perhaps the things I thought true Were nothing but deafening lies, A façade. You were like a sister to me Always a shoulder to cry on. The room no longer glows a golden hue as you enter a room, But a mee
Dear Rapist, it was three years ago now.
That lonely day when you defiled me
Where I screamed and cried for you to please go.
My fight was for naught unfortunately.
You left me there, ravaged and abandoned
Once again that my heart shattered
Lights went blackout, no more flickered
My head went full blank
My life I had hang
I thought my life doesn't matter
Kicked in the stomach
But standing straight
Smile on
But inside tears escape
Bruno mars and backseat singing
windows rolled down
highway swerving
Nurses,
Should be nice.
Or at least that's what I thought.
They didn't care about me.
Hurt yourself?
Stop crying.
Lonely?
Oh well.
we are more.
more than you remember.
we were fire.
maybe I was just the lighter
maybe you were all the trees burning off us
maybe you saw me as the candle,
it is difficult
to have loved someone
who will never feel the same,
because a hopeless love
is the emptiest
and loneliest love
there could ever be.
lessons can be learned,
however,
The rain fallsPitter PatterMotionless and powerful,In a steady flowing patternWashing away the thingsWe no longer wish to see
Dark skies
Lonely nights.
A city full of people.
Yet its not so bright.
I'm so in love
but I'm not.
Maybe just in love with feeling.
In your stomach.
You know, the knot?
Dear Future me,
I see that your rich and successful or that’s what I want you to be.
Or maybe not, I’m confused and that’s what I’m told to see.
~
I’ve been disappointed in you a lot and I know that’s not fair.
Confusion and frustration are present
We may be lost in the shuffle
Just get it together immediately
And move on the double
Nothing but pandemonium
Not a soul knows what is taking place
My chest is tight
My throat is closing
My stomach is in a knot
I feel my heart breaking
I close my eyes
I feel you, next to me
You are noiseless
You are cold
My mind is a computer,
It plays games,
Process information,
Turns to power-saving mode.
But if this is true,
Then what are my disorders?
They are flash drives,
I said i’d leave you alone
But nights like these make me want to talk to you.
You’re the piece of my youth & desperation
That god no longer wanted to carry.
dear boy i almost gave everything to,
i am not a glistening bar of solid authentic gold,
i am not a crystal clear 50 karat diamond,
i am not a smooth pearl that shimmers in the sun.
i am a ruby.
I long to see your face,
To hear your voice,
But that will never be the case.
I want to pull you into an embrace,
Squeeze you tight,
For all the negatives to be erased.
Girl, his heart was never there
But you decided to stay
You were blindsided by love
He has sadly, led you astray
You have suffered a great deal
What a tough lesson to learn
Next time just open your eyes
Some people
Love it
Hate it
Indifferent
I hate them
I go into a daze
I get depressed
I cry for no reason
I have mood swings
I feel like rather
Than everyone is
You used to say
The only way
You could ever sleep
Was in my arms
So when did it change
That I was the one
Wandering at night
And you were the one
Finding solace in sleep?
I only started
Praying again
When I thought that god
Might give me a hand
So for the second time
In my life
I lay awake at night
Reciting the Lord’s Prayer
Every single night
I couldn’t sleep again last night
Demons plagued my dreams
Wearing faces of love and affection
One that you often see
Demons plagued my dreams
Whispers of I love you
I’ll never leave you
They carry the secrets
I whisper at night
The moans of love
Oh, just sex, that’s right
The things I keep
In my mind out of sight
The walls are alive
Dear mother,
I banged on your bedroom door with a bleeding heart
you pretended to be asleep
I hate you
I came home and found a note on my bed, in which you wrote
Oh, how these past few months have been filled with tears.
Losing you was by far one of my biggest fears.
You made me face it, with your sadistic, evil ways.
And now we haven't spoken in days.
Thank you,
I am my own Alice
seeking a non-existent
wonderland,
I am a butterfly
fluttering about in
a flowerless field,
I am a pen
deprived of
the badly needed ink,
He once spoke of her as if she's
a rain in the middle of summer,
a blooming flowig amidst the fall,
a ray of sunlight during winter,
until she became a dandelion of a windy spring.
It feels good to be sad
I snap when I'm awaken
There's a beauty in being alone
That in groups is overtaken
My words become their words
I get nervous and don't think
She has decided to walk away
Because, you did not treat her right
Nothing but a chaotic scene
Situations sadly, ended in a fuss or fight
Face the reality of the matter
She often drowned in tears
Why?
Why must you spurn me so?
Your words harsh and cold.
Why must you abandon me?
Leaving me lonely and melancholy.
Why must you taunt me thus?
Childish insults stripping my confidence.
Conversation has sadly drifted away
All hope is fading
We barely speak to one another
Girl, why are we masquerading?
We need to open up
This eliminates the bad air
Obscurity has reared its ugly head
so stuck I cant write ...can't even get insight ...on why I can't keep up the fight...or why I never feel right
every one has there thoughts ...as I feel left out ...stomach in knots ...not even allowed to pout
From the first day i ever cried
without reason, i was told to
be stone cold, never show 'em how you feel,
because emotions are bad bad bad
don't use those dirty words.
Through the darkness,A candle burns,Erasing the varnish of the tainted world,This flame shines,Leaving behind a forgiving line,
Tavern mugs and boisterous laughter,Another line in this wondrous chapter,Long after the sun has set,Quills still write, and candles stay lit.
My entire life, there is one thing that was drilled into my miserable brain.
“Bottling emotions is wrong.
But let me make something clear.
The way a spark can create a fire burning bright so too can it be snuffed out with swift vengence
The world is a cruel mistress with no allies and no mercy
All those days you celebrate fortune you fail to recognize the coming
Rape lasts longer than a moment,Rape burns an imprint into the self.Rape strips more than the outsideIt thieves the words from your frightened mouth.It makes you think you are different,Like you’re deserving of this sin.It cripples up the bodyIt f
dear love,
you are a nightmare
dressed as a miracle.
you are misleading.
you are troublesome.
but somehow,
you always seem beautiful.
you always seem to pull me in
Hello motherHello brotherHello sunflower Hello rush hour Hello proud boyH
My anxiety cripples me
I take it on as a first line of defense
My tongue’s as sharp as a knife,
I’ll cut you with my words until you bleed apologies
I’m the kind of anxious that gets too comfortable
I'm sorry I'm such a mess and you gotyourself tangled up in this but pleasedon't fucking leave me because thesky and the stars and the moon don'treally make sense without you
When the morning comes
My heart is full of sorrow
For I prayed that my eyes did not see a tomorrow
Put me out of my misery I plead
Do a young girl a good deed
November 1st, 2016
Dear the Man,
Challenge me here, my dungeon of sorrow
Make me or break me, a push of tides
You left a point on my blunt dagger
I’ve got couple bong rips
Held with a deep grip in my lungs
Yeah
I got a couple slits
Not just the ones that cover my eyelids
Dear Daddy,
Do you remember that day out on Tiana Bay?
I was four years old,
Big brown eyes, twig legs, and abounding joy.
We went on the boat,
You are just standing there in the dark
The look on your face seems grim
The lady of your life has taken lots of abuse
Your outlook looks mighty slim
She feels battered and betrayed
Its frustrates me.
It pisses me off.
The way she can say
She wants boyfriend
When I was a great one
But no she dumped me
Cuz she was gonna cheat on me.
Like what the fuck
I wish not to be forgotten
Or my seemingly numb heart
Because of the things I’ve said
But did not meant
And my dry voice
I still think of you, as I lay through the night.
Looking at the blank space, praying for you light.
My thoughts go crazy at the thought of us to reunite.
I've always wondered, if I was your knight,
Dear God,
He just committed a fraud.
He promised to never leave,
And made me believe.
Oh, why?
Have I been told a lie?
Now I lay confused,
And my heart is bruised.
Oh, please guide me,
Oh it's you.
Hello again! I know, it's been so long, it's so nice to see you!
What do you think? I've barely been holding myself together.
Are you kidding, I've never been better! How's the wife?
my life has consisted of loss
death and betrayal
ive seen it all
i want a new path
a chance to restart
a fresh slate
clean off my scars and wounds
and start brand new
Share your smile with the world.It's a symbol of friendship and peace.Because of your smileYou make life more beautiful and prestige
The soul that sees beautyMay sometimes walk aloneLoneliness adds felling of unwanted And expresses the pain of being alone
Dear Bully,
We haven't spoken much since middle school,
I'm sure you've noticed.
Or perhaps you haven't noticed.
The only thing that I am truly sure of is you used to notice me every day.
From whatever distant island you're
viewing me from today:
I have conquests on nations.
But you can't see that through a lens,
or a message,
or That letter I never replied to
My hair is long, which is nice, but I have too many split ends,
My natural hair is wavy, not straight like theirs in my defense,
I’m short, I could never be a model, I don’t have the body for that,
Girl, why do you stay with him?
And make an excuse
Haven't you had enough of his mess?
Along with all of the abuse
Time and time again
You have sadly, sat there and drowned in tears
I’m stuck here alone and broke, just my luck,
What can I say? Growing up sucks,
I’m getting fat because all I do is snack,
Don’t grow up, it’s a trap,
A nuisance, a loud crying baby,
I can’t express how annoyed you made me,
But I was young and I didn’t know,
That you were a blessing in disguise before you had even grown,
A shoulder to cry on,
Goodbye
I wont see you again.
We don't always love what loves us,
But please do not forget
that we laid out in the parking-lot
Have you ever had a dream?
A nightmare, to good and then evil.
It's like eating something really sweet over and over again
I feel alone in this loud room
chaos is all around me
and it will drag me to my doom
I just want to be free
they are so so happy, smiling
while I lay there dying
I've given up on it all
Ill use the love letters you wrote me to fuel the fire I light to destroy this paper house I have been living in.
blood is thicker than water, they say
but to me, they are the same
i feel the blood leaking out of my heart
like liquid pain boiling through my skin
and
Let no man be lesser.
For all
Are mere specs
on the
backdrop of the void.
No,
they are particles
Inside
an expanse of nothing.
We are
Merely the reality
of our
alone burning with anger
becoming stone the only defense
she gets hate from a stranger
she didn't do anything worth offense
.
I'm gonna start working on me, myself and I
Gonna stop all this just tryin to get by
telling me to "get better", "stop crying", "you're fine"
Self-Inflicted
I do this “thing.”
I bring more pain to myself when I’m already hurting; and I can’t stop.
I crank the sad songs,
I drive in the pouring rain,
No one will see your sadness.
Even if your insides
Are bleeding violently
And screaming
Their loudest scream,
No one will notice.
Not because they dont care to,
But because souls are
No one never really understands
Unless they see from the same point of view.
share the same brain
and the same lifestyle as you.
People judge.
Jump to Conclusions.
Dear Sophia,
I love you.
Because I love you,
I'll text you in class, although Mr. Roberts isn't very fond of it.
Because I love you,
I'll cheer for you at tennis practice, even after coach blows the whistle.
Autumn
Is the season of fireworks in the trees
The tea time that never trully ends
Carpets of color layering the sidewalks
And plastic pumpkins by the door
Scarves and fleeces and boots
“How was your day, Sweetie?”
“I should get one for my partner too.”
“I mean… Would you want to?”
It’s as simple as that.
Dear momma
Thank you for giving me Real Love
The kind of love where
I feel safe enough
To be myself and shine
Real Love
Because I Love You
Doesn't mean you can hurt me
Because I Love You
Doesn't mean you can desert me
Because I Love You
Doesn't mean you're not supposed to care
Because I Love You
I had waited.
For.
The rain to stop.
But.
The sky stayed open.
And.
It did not seem.
Like
You would arrive
Sadly.
Then I found out.
That.
Passion stirs up within my fragile heartEverything I have ever wanted hereNothing in this world can keep us apartNo earthly sorrow or crippling fear.
Every time we communicateThere is no positivityThere's things that you put downThat I think are greatConversations are dullThey drain meWhile the fill you upTear me downWhile they bring you upShatter my heartWhile they toughen yours upI can't take
You often find yourself in a trance
Because, you did not treat her right
She really is tired of your mess
Night after night
She has drowned in sorrow
Tears have fallen from her face
They are saying It’s Christmas The bells are all a’ringing, But somewhere, deep inside Someone’s not singing The beds may be made, full of joy and of care But a little girl’s still crying Since her idol’s not there We’ve all lost a lot This year,
I would do anything for you
I'd fight a dragon
or go on some magical quest
Because I love you.
I would turn up at your door,
For nothing more
Than to hold your hair when you are sick
A wax sky drips over a sidewalk corner
Illuminated by a burning-wick sun
As I smile at the old men living there,
Baked and leathery and meaning everything to nothing
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the lies, the things I've done, and constantly reminding you how little I care.
Hands placed on a unclean slate. Clans faced off and deaths happening at a unreal rate.Bodies lay quietly upon the ground, shoddy warn down knives all around.
We spent night upon nights spitting words laced with toxic until our minds grew numb
but we still said good night and we could feel the warmth
The sun is hot and painful
It leaves scars on the skin
It brings fires to homes
The sun is blinding
But I can’t stay away from him
Because I love you, it feels like it was only yesterday,
You looked into my eyes and I told you to stay.
Because I love you I’d get nervous around you,
I didn’t know what to say or what to do.
Do you think what you say doesn’t hurtBecause i'm here to tell you it doesYour words are like a hot knifePiercing deeper and deeper with each sentence You think you can say anything through a screenBut in reality you're just a coward Who does
I tried to stop myself
Falling was easy
Realizing you didn't fall too
That was hard
As I was falling
I knew I would hit the ground
I knew you wouldn't be there
I fell in love with you. A foolish girl I was, to fall for you.You stole my heart away. I wished for nothing but to please you.I only asked of you to look my way. Please look my way.
You wouldn't look my way.
Because I love you I listened to you, Because I love you I cared about you a little too much I lost my self in the process of showing you my love, in
I am sorry, it is time for me to depart
I have seen the person that you really are
Yet, he wishes for me to stay
Pulling the same trick just so I stick around for another day
My love, is it you?
i do not want to loose your soul for another because of blindness.
am i blind?
I miss you but i cannot remember who you are and loneliness
Girl, what happened to us?
Conversation has sadly ran dry
This has become a masquerade
Time continues to pass us by
If we do not communicate
Darkness will appear
Of a melancholy nature
I look at you with longing eyes and I recieve a warped image of a stranger who was once full of love. Was I wrong to wear my heart on my chest for the world to see. Was I wrong to love you with all that I had inside of me.
Tears fall from her face
That is ever so clear
You did not treat her right
You were insincere
You messed with her heart
And played with her mind
Nothing but an insolent demeanor
So degrading and unkind
Do you want to know why dreams are better than reality?
In dreams, you can be with people who you could never be with in reality.
You can hug and hold them with no fear of separation.
Do you want to know why dreams are better than reality?
In dreams, you can be with people who you could never be with in reality.
You can hug and hold them with no fear of separation.
I lost my life to a familiar face,
He went by the name, Past.
He shot me down with bitter memories.
He poisoned me with lies.
The thing about my garden is,
When all the flowers wilt,
I cannot find the strength to
Plant new ones.
-ajh.
it's scary how one bad memory can make you forget all the good ones, how a single word can overweigh a whole book and how one smile can hide a thousand tears.
We used to be inseparable,
But that quickly changed.
When he came along,
By you I became estranged.
Silence was...
Before you spoke.
While still in my embrace
Your voice ended in quiveres.
Asking qurries we both
didn't want to hear the answeres to.
So they stayed rhetorical.
Because I love you..
That means I should spend all my time with you
Forget about my friends
My family
My life
Because I love you..
I should give my all even when you give none in return
Let go of the lies that have been told since birth
Let go of the yells that have been heard through walls
Let go of the memories that wonders your mind
maybe when you left
my tears weren't because i lost you
maybe because i was alone
with my own thoughts
maybe i was in love with the attention you gave me
maybe i was in love with you
What is love
Love is a chemical reaction
Love isn’t black eyes and bruised cheeks
Love is gentle caresses and soft kisses on Sunday mornings
You have to continue on
Even though you have lost a loved one
Remember the good times you had with your mother
She taught you how to be strong
She is still there to guide you
Life isnt the same
You left at the same place you came
I couldn't have any blame
But all I could do was think of your name
You were in so much pain
But its best that you are gone but life isnt the same
A hockey team skates slowly over thin ice.
Lonely but not alone, the goalie stands,
Guarding a meaningless area
That has been assigned temporary meaning.
Her head held high, she takes the puck,
You have consumed my thoughts.
How are you?
You have become a part of my daily routine.
Should I text him?
You drive me crazy.
Why hasn't he replied?
I think I am becoming depressed.
My hands began to shake and tremble as I read the message you sent,
nothing but silence filled the air as my relationship just disappeared.
We were us and now we are; you and me,
Oh ...
I suppose
I'M
The one
Who
Was supposed
To
Fix the
WHOLE
FUCKING
WORLD!
no?
Then
why
isn't
it
done
already?
Nothing is free In the grand scheme of things.
But I want your lies tonight.
Broken men have broken courage it's broken
and miss construed.
And I myself am broken.
So let me have your lies
like glue
I don't like people,
But sometimes you meet
some sweet ones.
Some wonderful people.
Maybe they said "hello"
The way they do.
Or maybe they just showed
you love.
They make the world
I learned the secret to success
Is to push on when you can't.
But my brains are battered
My soul is wet.
My hands are tired,
Please don't forget,
That I tried harder then ever
To no good effect.
Isn’t it Ironic?
It’s sometimes overwhelming having so much to say,
Thoughts filling your head all moments of the day,
You would scream at mom,
as I held my ears closed.
You would sling things,
as I shedded tears.
You used to get angry,
you used to get sad.
If I even said a word,
you would get mad.
Because I love you, you should love me too.
You should honor, appreciate, and cherish me.
Broken Fixers.
This life isn't broken.
It was never a working thing.
The people didn't know.
They cry
She was just sixWhen he told her to fixHis dirty desireRemove the heat of his fire
She was just nineWhen she was toldTo kiss him below the lineBy that gigantic old
Ive been treated with fake love since day 1
the just loved the baby side of me
I was born with short term memory and they didn't want to tell me
knowing that could've helped
instead they lied to me
failed marriage
couple kids to take care of
one named tom
the other named Sarah
1 went with the mom
other with went with the dad
cried herself to sleep
from all the wreckage
I sit alone, think about somethingWhere is my life destined towards?Is it towards what I aspire forOr is it towards what I'm inspired forAll of us can cogitate about itBut no one can declare what is it
She wishes she couldPunch them in the faceThey thought they wouldBeat her in that race
She was somehow silentBut they were raging a warShe had some different scentNow she regrets, she could roar
No one, just no oneNot he, not sheNot them, just no oneListen to youOr they justDon't want to
So stop screamingOh! You don'tJust don'tThat won'tWill help you
Free
Push her to the ground, watch her fall.See how strong you are?She cries from the pain and you just listen to her screams.Over and over again, In her mind, she dies.
Wilted leaves tumble past
Helplessly
In the sun-warmed air
I stare into the sky
Endlessly
Wondering what’s for me out there
When I think of you with another girl
My mind seems to go in a whirl
For I find it so hard to see
That your with her and not with me
I start wanting to cry
Tears start appearing in my eyes
Look at her, Like, you want to praise herAnd not chase herRender her at sightThat makes her face brightIf your look is nullThat will make her Dull
I'm always alone no matter what I do
All my friends that I have
Will eventually leave me soon
All the promises we made, you broke them
All the things we said we were going to do
We didn't
Broken shards of hearts
are dregs at the bottom of the teacup that is life.
But I suppose you always made it ok.
When I was a kid you would sleep in my room,
To keep the monsters away.
Those days were perfect.
The message is there
Words have been unspoken
It is crystal clear
That hearts will sadly be broken
Proper communication
Would definitely alleviate the situation
Those clouds would disappear
Dad, can you help me fix this shit?
I keep trying to build mountains out of nothing,
And you always could fix anything.
I know, you'd pick a shovel up, and help me
Dig my own grave, if only I'd ask.
I feel the wind blowing
Against my fare skin
The cold giving me
Chills up my spine
As I walk the single brick pavement
Gravel grinding against my aching feet
When I see you
I remember the time we met
In the class of grade eight
Your stole the heart of a thirteen year old kid
Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, no take
I thought that just for once, my heart would catch a break
Break as in rest, but instead the shit shattered
The image is blurred
Spoken words, still unheard
Stop trying to change me
for your convenience.
Pictures and images
you are no longer perceiving.
Unavaible for your viewing
my life wasnt right
all i wanted to do
is grab a knife and
leave it all behind
thinking it would make
things right...not knowing
Once upon a time, I left my dress
In torn pieces on the floor
Where my sisters ripped it off
And left before they did more.
Once upon a time, I left my home
To venture into a one-night dream
We met by the sea
In the billowing greens
By the hanging tree
Where a body was seen
Swaying in summer breezes;
In the tree by the sea
Spot her across the room
Smile, look away
Allow a minute or two to pass
Make sure she’s still there
Something I like to remember when I need to cheer up
Is that I was not a part of the plan
I wasn't thought to be possible
I suppose the only truth i have found,
Is that nobody is in control of anything.
But a lot of people are good at pretending.
We choke the life out of our children.
We say things like, "you need an education"
Never have I asked for this,
A dungeon with a twist.
Never did I want this,
A chain lays heavy on my wrist.
Never could I pondered this,
A life on the list.
It was never supposed to happen,
She believed that it was true, reality.The touch that lead to a warmer sensation inside.The laugh, the voice, the comfort.Complete silence, and pure happiness.She soon found out that it was a moment.
the wavering tree
the rolling stone
the shaking plea
a place called home
a hopeless need
chilled to the bone
a want for warmth
and a shoulder to cry on.
to get out of the storm,
She waits, silently in the lifeless yard. The sky that night, dark and starred. She lays there, waiting, its getting late. When he comes, they'll leave this fate.
I heard your voice
over my morning alarm.
Then it was silence.
I picked myself
off of the hard wood floor,
Got dressed
Reached for the door
and felt you on its brassy doorknob.
Dark grey clouds have filled the skies
Inside my heart dies and cries
The dark grey clouds filled with rain
Can feel my sorrow and my pain
Inside my soul my hope goes cold
Broken from what has been told
Once upon a time;
The most beautiful maiden in the land,
pricked her finger- destined asleep for a cycle of seasons,
was promised life by a challenger of fate.
Approaching the deadline;
You say you think you know me,
But I think that you're confused
Because if you really knew me
You wouldn't say "abused."
You say "locked up, imprisoned,"
Held tight from the inside,
"Once upon a time an angel and a devil fell in love. They started seeing each other and didn't care what anyone will think about them. Till then the gods found out about them and prohibited seeing each other.
Once upon a time
a girl stood in the cold streets
selling her matches.
She was all alone
in the cold winter sidewalk
as adults passed by
Once upon a time
There was one sick wolf,
He walked down a road
Even though he had a cold.
He smelled a stinky pig from a house of straw,
and then he knocked on the door and started to make a call:
Do you remember?
How we used to play pretend?
And giggle and laugh
Until the day's end?
Do you remember?
The many adventures we took
Together as partners,
With every step, the earth shook
I am a wall.
No matter how hard you try
you can not break through this wall.
My emotions are cinder blocks
I cupped you in my hands and i said you couldn't leave.
How silly of me.
You burrowed your way through my ring finger
and fought your way free.
I saw a picture of me and you today.
In the quiet hours before death.
all men must come to terms with their lives.
all the parts, and all the seasons.
they must observe it, regret it, and be proud of it.
depending on who you are,
It is a peculiar and otherworldly feeling.
It is subtle.
Subtle like a touch mark on a knife,
Or a fingerprint on a mirror.
But in the quiet of a silent hour I can feel it.
Okay, let's switch things around
This one isn't gonna be a dumb poem
I promise the next ones will
Then
Death is scary,
because it's that realization when...
When you die
One day gone.
And not even that.
I miss you already.
My throat is sore,
From having to make up for my lungs
My whole chest is left weak
from the gaping hole in my heart.
Please be safe.
Darling a life without you
is a life I don't even want to try to live.
But I will for a little while.
At least untill you retern.
My heart cries,
Killing time.
trying to get people to understand me.
but they can not.
Just like i can not understand them.
Every man is an island.
seperated from all by the oceans of our skulls.
trapped in our heads.
Girl, when we do not communicate with each other properly
We tend to push love away
Joy turns into darkness
Things have got to change
We need to open up to one another
There must be a form of telepathy
She will always be there
She has the voice to encourage and inspire
Your mother may have passed on
But, she is still there to motivate and push you to reach higher
She often showed tough love
I let you inside of my brain,
didn't understand why you caused me pain,
I find myself waking up in the middle of the night,
Trying desperately to feel alright,
There is lead in my bones,
I am rock, alone in the sea,
cemented in sad are others like me;
We are not dead, nor alive,
From such captivity I can't contrive?
Well...I have written all the letters.
So I guess this is goodbye forever,
or at least until I am better.
This mental state that I am in...
I can't even begin.
I hope that the next time you see me
My love:
Listen you don’t have to say a word, hush.
I swear to the stars your eyes make night sky blush.
Scarlet hue washes over the moon till dusk;
A constricted heart,
A lonely cry,
The broken parts,
All want to die.
A lone tear,
Falls down my cheek,
Overwhelming fear,
Makes me weak.
I shake against my binds,
She Wanted by Z. Alarcon
She wanted arms to hold her,
Not hands to behold her
Dark days, long nights;
Through it all, she sat
The stitched wound was ripped open The heart bledIt ached like an earthquakeThat didnt seem to end Breaths waverBody shakes Please save herBefore she breaks
Moments are melancholy
Because lives have been lost
People are in a state of bewilderment
Dithered, confused, and distraught
Nothing but a chaotic scene
Filled with lots of bitterness
I look at you
and I cannot believe
that you don't know
can't feel
my depth of love,
cannot reach your
hand inside my heart
and pull yourself out.
I wonder feverishly
11:11pm I wished for you,
I always wish for you.
I think that's what scares me the most, I cant stop wishing for you.
I close my eyes as the tears roll down my cheeks and a shiver crawls down my spine.
I'm so not ready
for the world to come crashing into my life this morning.
But it never waits for me.
I just want to be with you.
The earth is so pretty.
But it'd be prettier with you.
She grabbed her pearl beads
And her room key
Left her soul in agony
Cold street corners
Search for donors
Empty handed she won’t be
Empty hearted, possibly
Dying slowly, audibly
The more I drink the more my mind becomes numb. I'll continue to pour this posion down my throat until I can forget your name. Until all of the thoughts of you running through my mind is gone.
Take my hand.
We are only as good as the hands we're dealt.
I was there to lift you up.
When I met you I was young,
but you were younger.
I was a senior,
You were a freshmen.
Tip toeing the trail of self destruction
Teetering on the edge on insanity
Submerged my soul in sulfuric acid
Sewed my eyes shut from reality
It's over when you can't break down
Inside I am broken
All but the sound of my heart
Hands grip around my neck, choking
Tearing me apart
I lay emotionless
Listening to the my heart beat
Feeling it pounding in my chest
Are you ok?
"Sure"
Oh... ok.
I said "sure", since when does that mean "no"?
Baby, "sure" is the rape child of "yes" and "No"
I don't know if you'll be ok, but I gotta know,
Will you promise me you'll try?
Blinded by your lies
I trusted you
I should've seen it in your eyes
You were too out of view
All those nights were fun and games
Little did I know I was being played
Crying.
Constant tears.
Cruelty as far as the eye can see.
How come nobody helps me.
How can nobody see.
I’m in pain.
Walk into the work place,
"Nic, nice to see you!"
"You too"
I hate this place.
I hate essence of what it is.
I can not stand for it,
Selling my soul to be your bitch.
She has sadly passed on
Never forget what she taught you
Your mother was always there
She wanted to see you shine your way through
There for moral support
And teaching you never to settle for less
Pain is the feeling I get when I think of you,
You’re gone and you left us behind.
I can’t help but think about what you would be doing,
I taught you how to love me and instead you took the information to use it for herThat's all I was for youA source on how to become better for someone elseIm a used book that got put back on the shelfEverything I ever showed you on how to love was
we started off great
we started off happy
but you started us off with someone else
we started off together
now i feel we are going to end apart
separate
you'll be fine
ill be dying inside
I stood in the spot where we'd make out in my kitchen; where my parents couldn't seeI felt the loneliness in the lack of your presence and couldn't help but think How did we get to this? I thought what we had was love I thought you wanted
He made her feel so alive She yearned for that feeling of joyOnly he gave that to herHer eyes lit up like the night sky at the very sight of himHer heart came out of her chest with every word he spoke and lyric he sangShe felt so alive with him Be
Sometimes I want to feel
Things a great deal.
Other times I want to be
Completely empty and free.
it was here that I fell in love
trapped in the salty waves, burning my skin with the most gentle touch
ripples that altered images dancing in my vision
from an emerald sea to the clearest blue sky
I hope your heart is as a child.
Joyful and full of laughs.
The world is not good,
but there is good out there.
I never asked for it..
you say I'm nothing like your ex's
but that's a lie..
im a bit of both...
I hurt you...
and I cheated...
I didn't want to
I was lost at thought
I used to
Spend every eyelash, every dandelion wish
Hoping for someone to make me feel happy
I used to
Think about you and radiate joy
I used to
B L I N D
I see the way he looks at her
He wants her
He would brighten her
The perfect two
Oh, joy!
Like they were matched
Meant to be
But,
She's too blind!
Each poem I write isn't good enough...
So I wright this.
words press against the inside of my skull,
Something set them off.
I spray these pages with phrases like horse piss.
Then I gain control.
I spun a web from death bead threads.
those dreaded ends of sheets to shreds.
If you see the way that I am going,
My friend you must know where I went.
This is a sad poem,
but it's a beutiful day.
with the blue sky and a breeze
to cast the sad away.
ok.
But I am far to lazy to do anything about it.
I could be working,
I could be strong.
The thunder; it roars in the night resembling my stomach,
for which I haven't ate a thing in days.
Staring at my food, picking around it with my fork.
The wind seems to blow cold sharp shards into my skin.
I am sad
but never mad
no one knows
why
I dont get how
people can smile
when they see
people cry
You used to mean a lot to me, and now you are just a stranger
And the sad thing is that it was my fault we ended this way
04/11/2017
Empty ---
A long road ahead of me,
And thousands’ of miles behind me.
I continue my way,
Until I can see.
My vision is troubled,
My legs are tired,
Your mother may have passed on
But, she is still there
You can here her voice
Telling you to be aware
She loved you unconditionally
Always there to guide and protect
She may have been tough on you
The things we realize we won’t ever obtainOh, it kind of hurts at timesSo far away from each other and I have much to sayyour voice is like flowers and it makes
Don’t tell Depression I’m having an affair with Joy.
Depression knows I’ve been having an affair with Joy.
Does her call make me love Joy less?
Or do I just miss Depression.
Twisting words;
Love is hate,
Let's duplicate.
Engulfed in black,
No fighting back,
The love is gone-
I'm now your pawn.
I grew up where doors had no knobs,And rooms had no doors,And houses had no locks,To keep the monsters out.
Have the strength
To continue on
Think large, take charge
And be heartstrong
Your mother wanted the best for you
For she was always sincere
She may be gone now
But, memories of her are still there
Ivy is born in the Bronx
At 6:04 A.M.
She enters the world wailing,
Falling flat against grimy bathtub in her grandfather’s basement.
You sadly left her alone
With no one to talk to
She often blamed herself
She did not know what else to do
In a state of bewilderment
Withered and confused
Tears fall from her face
We wove a tapestry together and I thought it was beautiful
We were in the center and we were holding hands and all was good.
It wasn’t until after you left that I realised that
My biggest fear
Is to one day never see someone again
And to never know what ever happened to them
Whether they remember me
If they ever became the person they dreamed
If they decided to pack up and move
There's something so poetic about watching everything crumble around you
How can destruction be so artistic, so beautiful?
Seeing everything you attempted to build just fall
It's gone in the matter of minutes
I stand on the corner of Canfield and Clarion.
I search for a familiar car to drive me away.
It is cold; there is no car in sight,
And the wind cuts deep into my soul.
Of a melancholy tone
She lives all alone
With no one to talk to
And nothing to do
She drowns in sorrow
Feeling grim about tomorrow
Sadly dazed and confused
Because, she has been abused
March 3, 2017:
This everlasting darkness has really taken its toll on me
I don't think I can control myself anymore
This is spiraling out of control
So fast that I can't even keep track of wherever I used to be
March 6, 2017:
Sorrowful living is a long, desolate path
It’s where you’ll never really feel complete, but you don’t do much to fight it
Because, though you just want to be happy, you don’t know where to begin
It is crystal clear
She really does not need you anymore
You have tortured her heart
And that is for sure
What more is there for her to say
It truly is over
Nothing but darkness and silence
Here in a room, with a glass full of liquor.
And crushed to know, I desperately do need her.
Standing there, staring right towards a mirror.
Feeling helpless, like a tragic bum filled with anger.
Sometimes you look at me
as though i’ve never kissed a girl before.
I cannot tell if it is pity or love
which causes you to fret over my virgin lips.
A woman with delicate
Crow’s feet framing
Murky blue eyes
Leans heavily against
Her truck.
Everyone says I need to get over you But I can't seem to convince myself were throughWe're doneWe're overJust wish I wasn't sober Wish I could delete the thoughts From my headBut somehow
"I cry salty tears
for inside
I am an Ocean.
So dark and deep
not even monster
make a commotion.
But if you dare
to take a look
you'll surely drown in
all the emotion."
I can see the grass grow higher
-Oh how must this life come easy
To grow as the wind blows
-If only it was as swift to rest in peace
Regret, sadness, depression,
but never hatred.
Guilt, melancholia, sorrow,
but never anger.
Remorse, gloom, heartache,
but never hostility.
Grief, misery, woe,
but never rage.
Even the happiest times are melancholy without you.
Even the sunniest days are dark without you.
Even the warmest blankets are cold without you.
Even the fullest rooms are empty without you.
You often find yourself in a trance
Begging for another chance
She just wants you to go away
There is nothing more for her to say
You played with her heart
Right from the start
Nothing but torture and pain
I was pathetic.I was lost.I wasn’t me anymore…. because of you.
I would indulge in..I would desperately seek.I would want…. alcohol because of you.
Tired of imaginingTired of actingOh, how I wish that was meCat-fishingIs now existingMirror, mirrorWhat is my birth error?Is it my looks or personality?A shame that I desire plastic surgery
I hear her scream
I hear her tiny footsteps in the hallow way
Her shallow breathing quickening my heart
She is an empty shell of the person I knew
Her soft skin that used to soothe me is abused by her confusion
I am from Cadiz,
from the ¨gator pond¨
next to my torn down trailer.
I am from dangerous bike rides,
dodging trees.
From climbing rock cliffs
and pulling off ticks.
A door
A door with chips in the paint,
reminded me much of 2016.
A year full of dread,
for me, that is.
The knob shined as bright as a newborn star,
representing the new year that was yet to come.
Where I'm From by Ryan G.
The ground is where I'm from, born out if the dust and dirt.
I am from my family, and their laughter and love.
2016 started out rough
I thought it sucked just like everyone else
Then you came into my life
Like a bright fire fly
I though my luck had changed
In the middle of a normal day
I find everything so out of the way
Inside myself I am blank and nill
Wondering if I should take a pill.
It is outside of time and space
This reluctant child without a place
Get off of those streets
They are filled with confusion
Just leave those dark clouds behind
Nothing but pure frustration
When you live in a state of poverty
Gloomy moments will appear
Those walls will close
As opportunity passes you by
Darkness is all you will see
There sadly is no brightness in the sky
You have wasted your life
Everything has come apart
Not a great situation
I traded my sorrows for a pretty face
And a bottle
I traded my sorrows for him
And a cigarette to my lips
My sorrows were replaced
Cherry blossoms come to lifeAnd people, hundreds of them sit togetherTalkingLaughingEnjoying themselves
Tight, close, that's what we were.
In our youth, we were always so sure.
We laughed and we cried, but we always stayed together.
We promised we would be forever.
Dear Diary,
Today I saw a kid, who I knew really well,
He’s a straight A student, and… man you could tell.
He’s laughing, and joking, with three other guys.
She is sadly lost
And heading down a corruptive path
Messing around with the wrong crowd
She needs to find herself and come back
Darkness surrounds her incessantly
Family members are concerned for her safety
I think when I actually knew how happy you made me that's when I got scared, but I've always been the one that wouldn't run from the fire, I would run to it. You started promising things that would soon have no hope.
the lines of her hands
whisper of pinky promises
the good
and the bad
the cold nights of tears
broken hearts, hands, love
the days thoughts are smothering
"do you promise?"
"yes."
Abuse
You make me cry the way you talk to me.
It’s like I am crying a storm.
You hit me,
And yell in my face.
Do you?
Do you ever think about me?
Or our past at all?
I really did love you,
I just made a bad fall.
Do you still miss me?
August Forster
written:8/18/16
What do I do?
People tell me to keep my head up.
I try so hard,
I don’t think they see
To my Love Gone
I think of you so much.
I feel myself pressed against your chest.
I can feel your heartbeat,
Even and soothing to the ear.
The Girl
There was a girl,
she was in her middle teen years.
She was so shy,
it was hard for her to find a career.
What I am to you
I am technically single, but my heart is taken by someone I can’t call my own.
From someone who makes me smile, and a voice that leads me home.
You don’t know the pain
Until you are staring at yourself in the mirror
Tears streaming down your face
Wondering where you went wrong
I wish that I can make them happy.
I wish I can make it true.
But I wish that I didn't have to procrastinate, but hey what can I do?
I wish I wasn't so privileged.
I wish they understood.
Katrina DeKett
Papered Love Poem
999.
1 more and peace.
Half over half, color side up.
1 more and peace.
It’d been four years right to the day,Till she had come to see.Her love who’d flown so far awayAcross the deep blue sea. Their hearts had never quivered ever,From the one they most adore.No storm or any violent weatherCould dismay what they bore.
Things have been pretty bland
everyone is busy with plans
all my emails are spam
and my motivation has hit its low
I've got no one to call
I'm staring at walls
All that is left are memories
When a loved one sadly passes on
One never really gets over the loss
But, you must be strong
Never forget what your mother taught you
She always wanted you to do your best
when you're sad
You need to get happy
but when your sadness runs deep
through your bones
through your veins
through your heart
and through your brain
You need to get help
to get happy.
From January to February
I hit a new low in life
Everything was bothering me
All I thought about was the cold blade of a knife
From March to May
I feel as though I’m trapped inside a box.
I try my hardest to beat down the walls,
But the ticking of clocks gets louder.
When you’re young, you’re invincible
There are no consequences
You drive too fast, slurp too many shots, and run faster than your legs want to go
Do you ever get that feeling The feeling of wanting to fly But your wings are broken Every word unspoken Do you ever get that feeling The longing desire to run But your legs are paralyzed Your nerves are tranquilized Tell me the truth As my so
I am broken.
A billion shattered pieces scattered…
Who will put them back together?
Perhaps no one will……..
Shall I remain as broken as this tortured world?
She is no longer there
But, you can still hear her voice
To guide and protect you
And to help you make the right choice
Never forget what she taught you
She was always there
Mother was forever sincere
We shared moments of happiness together
We planned our future
We thought that we would be forever
We loved like each day was our last on this earth
We thought nothing would ever get in our way
What does tomorrow hold?This is the question often asked, but still yet has not been answered. What does tomorrow hold? Let's stop and take a gander. What does tomorrow hold but broken dreams and forgotten promises. What does tomorrow hold? … I'll
This feeling has sunk deep into my soul and I’m afraid that my body isn’t mine anymore.24 hours a day, 7 days a week.There’s no time for resting.This feeling makes me wish that the next day to come unfortunately wouldn’t.
I can't grasp the concept of death; how someone can be here one moment and gone the next.I didn't think a fragile needle had the power to take the lifeof a man who fathered my cousin and had a wife.
When I was younger, I wanted to grow up tohave a love like yours.I promised myself that I would never settle for lessthan I deserved.So, I slept in the beds of boys that didn't care to know my name.
She’s the pretty girl with the perfect life .She plays sports and gets good grades.But one day, everything started to revolvearound a knife.
My life has been hard, this year was no different.
Half way through I realized I'd missed it.
From being comfortable and never alone,
We were left without a home.
In our car is where we stay
When words are left unspoken
Hearts are often broken
You never made yourself clear
Nor, were you sincere
Nothing but a clouded mess
Along with strife and stress
You can no longer take a stand
"...Half asleep, I hear a light rustle outside my window then a sunk on the right side of my bed. You lightly shook me and smiled. As always, conversation turns into an argument.
they cannot breathebut they can seethe trees turn greenand the colorof the lake doesn’tmatter. they rememberthe color
leaving their face,
their body
forgetting
It is quite sad
Nothing but darkness and pain
There was no love to be found
Everything has gone down the drain
That is the price you pay
When a loved one messes around with narcotics
In this house, we eat supper as a family, no elbows on the table,
But remember, keep your emotions neutral, that way you won’t be called mentally unstable,
Who are you? How did you do that? I cried as I looked back in time,
He wrapped his icy arms around my waist, we stood there, intertwined,
I’m constantly holding back tears, I hate the lump in my throat,
I wake up, do my makeup, fix my hair, and throw on my coat,
I walk out the door and into the world,
Here I am everyone, just a lost, vulnerable girl,
It doesn't take much to change a mind,
unless you have one just like mine.
A choice was given to me just last year,
And I could only think "Oh dear, Oh dear."
I had to choose, go left or go right,
recalling bad memories
is like unknowingly walking through a minefield
and suddenly you cant yield
so your mind flies
as your body stays behind
and you know before you see it
People will always be people. no matter how many layers of rose glass we put
between us and them, they will always be people.
My heart is a very deep, unfinished well and at the end, if it ends, is a vividly rusted, old penny I threw in when I was about 7 or so.
Is it called suicidal if it’s not
right this minute that you want to die?
I have a lot to look forward to.
It’s just that, sometimes, I don’t particularly
I lie here and I think about what we could of had,
you were like a puzzle to me that I wish to put together
you always seemed down, and I wanted to bring you up
you seemed to be lost, and I thought I found you
For me it was gold
But for them its dirt
The way they treat
The way they speak
But whatever it is
I doesnt really fit
They came along
That wasnt too long
Both singing a song
I loved to try on your clothes,
the cute crop tops and fuzzy socks.
I loved to sleep in your bed,
to play games on your laptop,
to eat tacos with you and
to talk to you,
Beyond the seas of melancholy,
there was a time I held your hand,
My heart now bears an untold story...
like a ship at sea that longs for land-
A great untruth my lips have borrowed,
Harambe is dead
they shot his head
dat boi is gone
pumped his tire wrong
Cave bob has passed
he became low class
pepe suffered same
he became lame
what did they all do
Mask hides
sad mind
weights pull
I wish to fly
can’t break
chains of pain
toss and turn
lack of sleep
2016 started off great
Plenty of money and plenty of cash
If only I could see my future
And how it would not last
Falling for someone I thought was genuine
Learning his tricks and then going back to him
There are feathers here.
Light, beautiful, no one can
Trust them, they can betray
You, but they're beautiful.
There is cold here.
Excuses wrapped in
Coats that will never
People say they'll be there for you.
But when I cry all night,
What can you really do?
People say they won't leave.
But with what I know,
How can I believe?
I want to smile.
I want to be happy all the time.
I want to have fun with my friends.
That does not always happen.
Life gets in the way.
Who knows how long it will take
until from my deep slumber I will wake.
It's terrible, violence, racists, and poor.
When, at last, will I wake from this horror?
There's people dying, killing, and crying
On a dark-isolated path of alabaster walks a little
broken boy in black. Cold and Loneliness are his only
friends as he walks home. High, high in the fractured black
Tears and heartbreakLaughter and smilesRight and leftAlways together Never separateCuddles and kissesCookies and milkSleeping and dreamingLife keeps them together Because they are pairs
I embrace every word I write
Injecting them with my pain
Let it bleed through and disappear
But every letter brings me grief
Restoring things that shouldn’t be given a second thought
I don't know what I don't know.That is why I never asked questions. All I ever wanted to do is "go with the flow",But then all at once I learned. About you and him,And you and that night,About you and everything I don't agree with.That day felt li
My nail polish is chipping
My lips are cracked
I can’t love you
Too many lines engraved in your skin
My eyes open slowly as the rays of light settle on my face.
I stare at the ceiling,
hoping it would cave down on me as I listen to silence.
The only two beings in the room are me and the elephant,
you always said the wrong thing at the wrong time
you told me it was because you didnt have a filter
but i think it was because you didnt care
i realized that trying to forget everything you said works
Not a good thing
When one lives in poverty
Situations are often dreary
While in a state of uncertainty
There are dark clouds
That appear in the sky
Nothing but somber moments
Let us talk about what makes me feel good.
But this time, I won't share it on
my therapist's green couch or
my psychiatrist's wooden chair
or to myself when I feel myself slowly start to slip.
Aspiring
for that certain ideal vision which
one day i will
Achieve.
Achieved; something is missing.
Something: disillusionment
Something: discontentment
Something: worriment
As a kid
I loved swimming
It was something
That made me happy
As I grew
My love
For immersion
Became fear
As I realized
The mental horror
Of drowning
Why should she stay?
Look at the way how you treated her
She gave you everything
But, you were insincere
You never showed her any appreciation
All you did was waste precious time
She saw the waves crash a storm against cheeksCracking hurricanes into men's eyesDroplets of rain trickled endlessly into puddles of veinsCreating a reserve of rainy day puddles to look back on.
Last night I was dreaming a dream,
You were back by my side
I was happy, but had to wake up, and open the blinds
Sun pouring in illuminated the darkness in life
Dazzling people made of gold,
Dazzling people made of cold
Material, dazzling people made
Of glitter and stuck together with glue.
Dazzling people made of lipstick
Lipstick, kisses, stains on cheeks
My face is wet
not from rain though.
Wiping my eyes with a sleeve
I pick up a guitar
strumming a chord or two,
grab some ink and paper
and sing away the tears
of stress
betrayal
When the day turns blue
I turn on the music
Garth Brooks echos off the walls,
"Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"
With every note that lifts from the speakers
He eats; he sleeps.
He jumps; he falls.
He thinks, but can no longer recall.
It moves; it beeps.
It can write but not read.
It is the mean.
When it stops moving and beeping,
It's mean when people make money from miseryIt's mean when people make money from my miseryIt's mean when people make money from your miseryIt's mean when peopl
There are some so selfish, egotistical.
There are some, through actions: analytical-
determining suite, of gloom and fright
As if to say: you have no right.
No feeling at all
Nothing to recall
Living my life
Day to day
While others have a ball
Can’t breathe nor smile
Sitting alone
And pondering deep thoughts
Blatantly staring at the wall
She feels so lost
She put her trust in you
But, there was no love in your heart
Nothing but pain and abuse
I've stared out this bus window everyday
Although never memorizing the route I take
only the swirling thoughts
mans my vision blurred with lyrics
You were like an onion
Hard but easy to peel
Wondering how far I should stand away from you before cutting you
Before you start to make me cry
Again
Knowing you make me cry everytime
It has been fifteen years
Since that dark and gloomy day
We as a nation were attacked
Nothing but total turmoil in every way
Thousands sadly lost their lives
There were painful hearts
if you ever miss me
and hesitate if you should call
to tell me or not...
just whisper it to the wind
and let it carry your words on...
maybe i'll be able to feel the coldness of your heart then
She will find her strength
And simply walk away
You have abused her a lot
Your heart has gone astray
She sadly drowns in tears
Because, she had put her trust in you
You never gave back to her
What do we fear the creepy crawlies under our bedor is it the wondrus voice inside our headkilling my thoughts until braindead
You were my life and, my light.
Then came that cold, dark night
Now the only time i see your face is in the pictures of this old place
Without you, i dont know what to do
Why did this happen to you?
She is brokenhearted
You have torn her apart
You were never there
Right from the very start
Tears are falling from her face
Nothing but mass confusion
Living in a state of turmoil
The monsters of our mind Chasing usNever letting go
The demons of our soulCapturing usTaking us hostage
The ghosts of our heartAre just bits that remainAnd shadows of what was
Not looking is so hard, but,
Why, pray tell, is it so hard?
I just can't seem to let you go.
It seems near impossible
Not to look.
Not constantly search
For your angelic face throughout
Darkness will surround you
If you are not careful with your path
Get it together
And take your life back
The streets are no place to live
For they are filled with confusion
I remember long ago
when when every summer day
you would give me a yellow rose before we played
I remember long ago
when fall was on the rise
you would come to school, with dew drops on your eyes
The walls were closing in on me.
Frustrated and furious significantly.
A grey cloud of despair, can't you see it in the air?
Where are you right now? You said you would always be there.
I was there for you
I gave you my heart
I was not aware that I was just fixing your heart
So you could go give it back to her
Just to be broken
Again
I used to think missing someone was the worst pain
It was the worst thing you could possibly feel
Here I am
7 months after you left
I realized that missing someone does hurt
I am jealous.
Why does anyone romanticize this
I belive you to be to good for me
I belive you are the stars and galaxies
I am never violent or disrespectful when I am jealous
You will never realize how much he ruined you
When you start talking to someone new; it will hit you
You will not realize until someone tries to do something he did
You will always think about missing him being there
I will never understand something
How can you smile all day long and cry yourself to sleep
Pictures never change but people in them do
How your bestfriend can become someone to hate
I never really understood this,
You were my "person" , meaning that i'm in love you with you, wantint you
You are in love with another person, wanting them
My heart used to skip a few beats because of you
Its 3:00am and here i am still awake
I keep crying and overthinking, but most of all regret
You're even in my dreams, thats why I can't sleep
I know that i'm fucked up, and I know i've made bad choices
Cryptic and puzzling
Hard to understand
No one could figure it out
Nor did they have a plan
What we have here
Is a mystery
Nothing but dark clouds
Filled with ambiguity
the dead leaves know so little
the swine and their eager snouts
scour the pile, although too brittle
swarming minds with no doubts
Alone I was when I sat underneath the trees Somewhere far in an abandoned park
A slight wind came as a cold breeze
A girl. Eleven years old. Same girl. Twelve years old. Same girl. Fourteen years old. Same girl. Eighteen years old. What do they have in common? They have brown hair. They love to sing.
In a day are so many sad hours
You may think I'd spend them alone
But I give love to happy flowers
And they make me feel at home
It's never is your intention
But it happened nevertheless.
Now your joyous arrival
Leaves me in distress.
I am angry with reason
I am sad with distress
I am disappointed with hope
A windowsill
Teetering on tea boiling in a pot
And musicians hissing about politics
Legal highs and all time lows
Screaming foxes and gunshots
***This was written during a dark part of my life and don't worry I am totally fine now and these thoughts are no longer a part of my mind***
Every dayIt's like they're embarrassed and ashamed.Like they don't want anyone to knowAbout my existence, and that takes a toll.
There they go making plansTo meet up and celebrate as friends.They talk to one another like I'm not there.I'm just an invisible nothing with no one who cares.
Salt is an accessory, not to be consumed aloneBut, salt is bitterShrewd white crystals that should be used in moderationBut I ate too muchClumps grasp at the walls of my throat
There was once a boy, in the 1700s
who survived in his house's basement.
Stuck he was,
for the sadness exhausted his will to go out side.
His mother too, for she was distraught at the idea of bearing a 'mad' son.
I give my mom a hug and feel nothing. No happiness, no love, no comfort. I want to repel away. She looks at my face with worry as she sees the absence of care on my face. She sees my dark eyes and straight smile.
If I hit a low again
In the witching hour
from the dark room where I lay awake all alone,
and I’ve gone so numb I can’t feel the aching cold
I speak supreme no need for dreams
Way too big for my Jean's
Sent from a heart that has been broken.
So the ones eye has freak don't run
Arose/ from broken boulevards, story tragic
When you avoid responsibility
It clearly shows that you do not care
Just open your eyes
You need to be more aware
Opportunity will pass you by
There will be nothing for you to gain
You will lose everything
The rose is mineI cherished itIt's something sacred and uniqueSome give it up so fastGive it away at any momentTo a boy or a girl
Plunging into the abyss
Of your pretend security,
Blanketing the truth
Of your own pain,
From me.
I handed you just myself,
My soul,
My heart.
And you trampled it
Like an egg.
I've been here before.
Desolate feelings creep in
before I get a chance
to close this door,
once again.
Reading excerpts of his cherished poems,
As the ocean breeze fluttered past our noses offering the smell of salty water,
He taught me many lessons.
She can clearly see
That you really do not care
There was zero communication
You were never there
She sadly drowns in tears
At the distorted connection
Such a horrible sight
Some dreams are worse than others,
but they're all the same,
a passage to a better life,
it's difficult to explain,
whether by knife or by rope,
either way,
i couldn't cope,
She did the best that she could
And really tried to understand
But, you were never there
You just disappeared
She sadly did not turn to anyone
There was no father figure
Lots of darkness and ambiguity
She was my friend.
Blonde, green-eyed,
Fair skinned and delicate.
She was perfect in more ways then one.
And I fell for her.
She was a flower,
Beautiful and dainty.
Last night
I had the misfortune of seeing you
in my dreams
you looked at me with your sad eyes
that gleamed
then the clouds began to cry
I don't know...
I can't shake the preening feeling...
That I'm not really living...
And even though it's not a physical pain-
It's a dull persisting ache-
And even though no one else is living
Best friend falls for best friend
a classic
sometimes tragic
rarely as magic as movies
but people love the possibility in familiarity
at least when it's she and he
but it was her and me
A is for air force. It’s Captain Briggs in the jet. The toughest and proudest man that you’ve ever met.
B is for ball, “why can’t you catch?” Dad grumbled as I shaped my small hands for the next.
I wonder if she still sees me
as I do
As the girl in the rain
Crying silently
Tears scarring the earth
in small rivers
There are times when I think she does
And my heart breaks
The memories burn my heart like the alcohol that runs down my throat every 1am that I can't sleep
And I can't sleep because the thought of you keeps my mind wandering
And the thought of you is so beautiful, it hurts
Depression is like a black curtain over your face
You can not see a thing
And day after day
For two years
I felt that
There was no way out, no way to be happy
After you destroyed me
I wanted to cut off your hands
Rip your fingers to shreds
Tear your lips off of your face
Gouge your blue eyes from their sockets
Slice your legs to bits
This one is for the kids
with no more hope
No more purpose
Broken smiles
Shattered teeth
The kids who fall short of their dreams so closely
they scrape them with their fingertips
If only it were light
That you desperately needed,
But it's not.
I'd light up your world
So you'd have to spin around
And rethink it all--again
But the tragedy is
You're gone
My mind explodes with hatred. I was only told of the awful memories. I was only told of the abuse. My mom wanted to protect me from the bad. I was forced into a game of hide and seek except there was no one looking for me.
You don't know how much it hurt
When you came home collapsing.
Words slurred together into a sentence,
At least that's what I think it was.
You stumbled like a baby taking its first steps,
Countless hours
Harmony in my head
Words of life
Don't send me to bed
Stay up with me
Keep me company
I am the quiet stream
But you're the babbling brook
speak in sense
This was a visual poem that I had worked on about a year ago as a class project.
The poem is about the overall feeling of being alone that may come with moving onto new things or new places.
One step to the left and,
Already dead
I pull-poked the wonderings out of my head.
They slimed and they slithered
Into the pool
To recreate moments of frivolous drool
That deemed little merit
I'm sitting here.
Again I'm alone.
I'm trying to escape
Escape from the hurtful words and the voices in my head.
My headphones are on and my music is up.
Here I sit.
I'm by myself.
I hear you words everyday
in somhow in some way
you say you aren't controlling me
but I am trapped I'm not free.
You degrade me in public
call me names to make me feel pychotic
<p>I'm no longer in step like a marching band member off his countsI'm no longer in the program like a singer cut from the choirI'm no longer in the loop like a roller coaster off of its tracksI'm no longer with the conventional crowd anymor
Biten whole, broken sand and sole, shreds of something they
said
Love-and-loss: same breath, same bed.
Forget the good and its sunny smile
-
'Cause
-
you-and-me were all I had
He sailed out to sea to fish a day's wage but the sea did not like him and threw him in rage. The waves got so tall and the sails got so taught, that the little old sailor gave up his day's plot. He huddled down low filling buckets with water to d
Good morning, they say
And I'll say it back
But I still desire unconsciousness
Not because I need the rest
Although I do
But I stay on my feet anyway
Aware of my struggle to
I wish I was a bird.I could fly far away and never come back.I would finally be happy, and this depression I have I would finally lack.I would soar higher than any bird has before.
I wish I was a bird.I could fly far away and never come back.I would finally be happy, and this depression I have I would finally lack.I would soar higher than any bird has before.
Is today that day
The day so dreadful to me
Where you took my heart
And shattered it to millions
Then burying with your lifes
Have you ever felt alone?Like there's all these people around you at work or schoolSmiling and laughingWith their friendsAnd theirBest friends.
You’re a fragile spirit, afraid to leave the grave of which you were laid to rest.
Metaphorically, of course…
Flowers used to grow in your veins and now they’ve long withered away and died.
I can't do it
I can't walk back in there
What if I still get hit?
They still won't care
They still call me fat
I'm still ugly
They'll slam me on the mat
I'm trying...
I can't do it
I wish I could have saved you
From falling for a broke thing like me
Because I can see it in everythng you say and do
That the shards left of your heart aren't free
And this isn't what I wanted
the windows are open
yet no air comes in
a girl is smiling
yet her happiness doesn't spread
we open the book
but the pages are blank
though if they were filled
I had a math teacher
When I was in eighth grade
We' d hang out at his house
And play video games
I thought it was a little strange
I thought he was weird
But, he let us smoke weed
He whispers to the moon,
Have you really seen it all?
The wars and the terror and the art
Seen the righteous killed and the sadists born
She's drowning
It's heavy
Weighing her down
Realizing
Long ago
That she can't
Swim
Feeling weightless
But the bad kind
That makes you
Feel like a shadow
Like air
Being free from my thoughts is something I've found impossible to do.
I feel as if my mind is caged like the animals at the zoo.
I want to be able to conquer my hindering fear, but the demons in my head are incredibly near.
Quite the breeze boy
I still wonder why i came here
Im over dramatic and spastic
Holden on the hope to home
Im sitting on the stump gotta name these tears
Iv gotta get out of here
If I could
I would
Go back in time
When we first met
I would look at you
With different eyes
I would thank you
While we sat at a table
Alone
In front of the school library
I'm just soakingin itJust counting theminutesBlood stained water in the tubIt's hardly the time nowis itWhen you're breaking a
Today is her first birthday
On the twenty-first of May.
She looks beautiful on a 3x5,
But I’m a million miles away.
I’m a million miles away,
the artist who drinks thier own blood,
is the first to taste the salt,
flavor to enhance the taste,
seasoning to please the guests,
our blackest paints add the deepests contast,
It seems now a days im having more dreams
Were im falling straight down
No destination in sight
No light to guide
Sometimes I wish I would just reach the end
Cause it seems more and more these days
A little girl or boy, an innocent child of barely any age.You had a life ahead of you, some would be police officers, some would be nurses,Some would be musicians, and others teachers.Your life was taken, taken away.
When Robbin Williams died,Suicide,My family sighed saying, that's just how things are sometimes.
The sky exposes my melancholy and distress,
I won't be the girl next to you in a white dress.
Why did you ruin our dreams?
Perhaps it was a nighmare in reality and woke you up in screams.
I think.
I cry.
I cut.
I die.
But you don’t even care;
That I’m not here anymore.
You can tell me that I suck,
But that won’t change the fact,
A glance too long in the
wrong direction. Addiction
seeps into my core.
Where is my fix?
Your
Mind much too far from mine,
Has vanished without a
trace, leaving me barren.
Mayhaps it found a better place,
Somebody who wants it.
I
I used to think it was normal
To cry for three hours about nothing.
That it was normal
To think about dying at least once a day.
You didn't raised me
You left. Because I wasn't your problem
I gave you chance after chance when you came crawling back
But you were stubborn & pride was more important than your flesh and blood
You left me.
I am numb to the words in my head all the time,
But I'm still feeling lost and lonely inside,
My friends can have fun and live their own lives,
While I'm stuck in the mirror feeling broken inside,
The nightmares don't end when I turn on the light,
My thoughts prevent me from my rest in the night,
So harsh and so cruel not a good thing to say,
They leave me so nervous to take on the day,
such a strange wave
how things ended this way
each night the rain poured
and I still waited for you at my door
love is for fools
but it isn't when it's for you
I want to be beside you
There is nothing but a dark path
When a person engages in substance abuse
Your world comes crashing down
There is sadly everything for you to lose
All hope will fade
Nothing ever seems right
Tears falling by nite
Smiles rising by day
Wanting to express yourself, but not really knowing the way
Glass shattered, pain misunderstood
People telling you to change, because change is good
wrap myself to keep me together at each side each and every morning carefully reapplied out of tears and pain the cloth is spun and throughout the day it comes undone some days i do a messy job my hands shake and my head starts to throb my smil
wrap myself to keep me together at each sideeach and every morning carefully reappliedout of tears and pain the cloth is spunand throughout the day it comes undone some days i do a messy jobmy hands shake and my head starts to throbmy smile begin
silent and invisible it grabs hold of my lips it begin's pulling me down to the darkest depths shaking hands rest on my thighs my mind is twisted and full of lies shattered is each bone broken is all that ive known curious, my minds wandering u
You lost a diamondpiece
You sadly abused her
Treated her like she was nothing
When she gave you everything
There is no one to blame
She gave you many chances
Forever she will disappear
Every time I look to my watch, on my wrist,
I see the scars that remind me of my past,
The cuts that haunt my dreams,
The memories that will forever be there,
Reminding me that all I was in life is an failure,
Hand me a pair of scissors
I’ll cut the steel ropes
That led straight to your heart
At least I’ll try
If only I could get closer to you
That end of the rope is the thinnest
I'm chomping at the bit
Claiming validityUp on my soapbox, a leaderThe more swelled our tongues became
I'm chomping at the bit
Claiming validityUp on my soapbox, a leaderThe more swelled our tongues became
I was in a big city
And got a hotdog from a street vendor
It taste sooooo good
Ketchup, onions, chili and cheddar
As I walked home with a smile
My stomach started to dance
Little music box
please keep turning
your all I have
and all I need.
Please darling
I know you have been dropped
and left empy
but i promise to wind you up forever
Girl, why do you tolerate the mess?
You really do not need to deal with nonsense
You sadly let time waste to the side
Lots of pain and sadness you continue to hide
He never really appreciated you
My mother is special.
That’s what they say
When they drag me away
From that shiny white room
And I ask if I may
The sweetest kiss of twilightA crimson rose or threeLost in the moment loveA moment with out theeIs no moment at all The tender kiss of yours dearA crimson rose or twoLost in the moment love
1000 memories and they’re all colored blue
and the darkest shade appeared the day I met you
I never thought much of it, never bothered me nun
Shake and bake you toke and bake
We talk until we see the rising sun
Darkness is what you will see
When you follow the wrong crowd
Life will sadly pass you by
No one will want to come around
Your issues with substance abuse
Will put you on a path of nowhere
Carved it out of my heart, Blood dripping down my hands, I don't understand myself,I don't understand you,
She may be gone
But, you can still hear her voice
Your mother was always there
To help you make the right choice
Let her voice be heard
She wants you to do your best
Broaden your world
I am cold, stubborn, and reckless.
I am sad, skinny, and wild.
I am timid, honest, and loud.
I am forgetful, ignorant, and tired.
I have failed at being a daughter.
The early morning found us
sitting on your
tattered, burgundy, mattress cover.
Me, focused and writing.
You, scatterbrained and distracted.
You reminded me of our lives at seven.
Find it in you
To carry on
Losing a loved one is hard
But, you must have the will to be heartstrong
Cherish all the memories
And wear your heart on your sleeve
Think of the grand moments
And now your heart is hurting
And I feel it too
As mine has always
Been hurting for you
I look back and feel sad
and then it makes me mad
because you never considered what we could’ve had
You don't need my confession
To know that I'm struggling with depression
it follows me everywhere I go
and I wish it wouldn't show
I can bury my face in other things
How do I fill this void
I have tried distractions and diversions
But I am still a very sad person.
I try not to lose my writing passion
And that day I went to bed
but I never slept
because I could never sleep
without the part of me you kept
There's a brick wall that only we can see
and it's my fault that it came to be.
With a torch I set the bridge to flames
and then looked for someone else to blame.
I have been put down
In the harshest of ways
And I cannot frown
Because it is not you who deserves the blame.
The boy stood at the edgeHe looked up and down, side to sideHe just wanted to end the fight the one he called his life
Girl, why waste your time
And fight all of his lies
He has used and abused you
He never cared to see you cry
But, you stick by his side
Hoping that he would change
You will suffer through more pain
It is done
I have lived my life
I have had my children
I have built my house
But it is done
As I lay in this rose
Sweet and soft
Silky yet sorrowful
All the while knowing
When the pain sets in and your heart begins to sink, you almost forget you were born a human and not a robot as the weight suddenly becomes too heavy to hold. As you bite down on your quivering lips and inhale through your nose.
GunshotsWho could it be?I picture a student in ill-fitting clothing and unwashed hair.What kind of rifle? Is this how I'll die?What will I say when I beg for my life? I stop breathing. Eyes are frantic My heart sinks like lose change.I Imagine all
You and me
Were never meant to be
All the memories
Make me forget how to breathe
I can’t even look at myself
because I’m not sure if I’m me
you,
with your dark brown hair
and your green eyes
made me feel
like i
was the only girl in the world
and you
the only boy
and yet
why,
oh why
in a perfect world, the sky would be in a
perpetual state of beauty, the sun
always in set, the sky whirling
with pinks and purples of many shades,
the flowers always in bloom, creating an
My best friend,
memories are kept with me.
Why’d it have to end?
My successes I send,
flying free.
My best friend.
My art teacher used to say.
“Don’t add the black paint until you’re ready for a finished product”
and I never listened.
So I painted with my black paint
Lifeline
The EKG spikes and flat lines
All I hear, are my beagle’s whines.
As I lay here trying to survive
You could say that he was a Carpenterof sorts ---he built heartsfrom the outside in fixing rebuilding with his own parts, making a sacrifice just to hear their laughs just to see their smiles so that his own mind, his own soul could just possibly
Words only mean so much
They mean nothing without action
Time will pass on
And unexpected events will happen
Day becomes night
Tides will turn
Moments will simply become a memory
The lady falls like the dying leavesSoft and slow, forlorn and sweetOn a whim, she gives her heartWanting only to play her partYou speak, she hangs on every wordYou smile, she burnsYou touch, she shivers
It has always struck me as odd,
the idea that “loving you” and “losing you”
are only one letter apart.
This small difference is proved
Something in my heart is suffocating
Alive still, but slowly fading
This feeling of something dying
With constant pain and trying
Why won't someone love?
Why won't someone care?
That cruel winter day, she knew, would be filled with hate,
That one, single day would determine her fate,
If they smiled, or stared,
How much she wishes they cared,
As they laugh and call her names,
Happiness is the outcome to unquenchable tears which came because of struggle.
The world is sad, the world is bad.
You have that grin that makes me smile,
Even after I feel that I have just ran a mile.
You are the reason I wake up,
You were my favorite little pup.
Your the image that brings me warmth,
So on, and so forth.
Everyday is Hell.
Everyday I go through the motions
I engage in the small talk
I try my best to socialize
Everyday my head is filled with fog
Girl, you gave him a lot of chances
But he threw them all away
His heart was never into you
He broke your poor heart in two
There was nothing but frustration and pain
Simply nothing for you to gain
She writes about him in a five dollar notebook
Saying that she loves him so
His hands are placed at the nape of her neck
while his love was gripping her throat
the rainfall drenched the old oak tree
it was late september
i felt it was a sign
and when im with him
and he's listening
but not responding
i took it as a sign too
and then i realized
It is rather sad
When a person wastes their life away
They had every opportunity to make it happen
But, they sadly chose to be led astray
Their loved ones are now in a state of bewilderment
shake off this feeling
it's just a phase
but my heart takes a beating
when I catch your gaze
the time that he's stealing
my sould it does raze
but since I know your feelings
Like a bill collector
Death keep calling
I owe him something
But I'm not sure what
Some days I ignore him
Some days I talk
But no matter what
He's coming
Eyes red, dried tears on her cheeks;
On the roof she sits with pen and paper
Describing the beauty of the street lights
The sound of the rustling trees
poison tears
Rain, rain, go away,Because of you the pain will stay.Slit my throat, cut out my heart,Leave me here, tear it apart.
You hear and yet you do not listen
I know this because I watch your eyes
They glaze over, stare blankly at me and I realize you don't care.
I shouldn't be surprised.
I knew I had it bad,
when they asked what I would need
if I was stranded on a island,
and the first thing I thought of,
was your blue eyes instead of water.
Isn't that sad?
All I need is someone to take care of me.
Someone to be patient with me.
Someone to hold me, feed me, and change me.
Someone to teach me and play with me.
All I need is a bicycle!
No words can express the hurt
The pain and disbelief
A country under attack
People around the world are in grief
Lives are sadly lost
Things can change in the blink of an eye
This goes to show you
At night I feel you hold me,Whispering all the things you never told me.When I wake up you'll be goneBut for now, I dream on.
oh hi
how's it going
i'm fine
nevermind
i'm dieing inside
i'm not strong enough
Just too weak
but i'm supposed to be strong
And as he waits on the spire of the human soul,
End watches.
A woman stands outside and stares
across the rugged buildings to the early sunset. It’s a lot of blue
covered over with whispy clouds,
Charismatic and charming is he,
who steals my love only to flee.
He who shines as bright as day,
takes my heart but doesn't stay.
Arrogant and scheming is he,
who picks my flaws and laughs at me.
One
My heart skips a beat
He's beautiful. Perfect. Positively sweet.
I only wish that we might meet.
But perhaps I wouldn't be able to take the heat.
Not if my heart keeps beating so quick.
My hunger survives off your belligerent smile, as it puts the blazing sun up in my sky
It's those nonsensical possibilities you whisper which floods my being with your eyes
Windows rattle and walls shake
Coldness stings and stomachs ache
But no amount of money could ever buy
The love that's share between you and I
Poverty strikes like lightning bolts
Your crystal clear eyes are the first eyes I've ever been able to keep contact with. Your soft touch entrances me, your arms are my home. Your warm body seems to fit with my cool soul. We find that happy medium, you are my safe haven.
Shakespeare once said that “it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
But he couldn’t predict the empty nights laying in bed wishing you were next to me.
Though I am sick, and I am scared
I know my heart must be repaired
I need to see the world once more
A simple chance that I ask for
"Why do you love me?" I ask.You reply with many reasons,some of which being how When I talk about my favorite book,I always obsess over the characters and my eyes take on a whole new formas big as dinner platesand they sparkle like the fourth of
The girl huddled in the corner
She knew once they were here they would take her
She would meet her entirnal fate
Baby, yeah I see you growing up in the ville
Messing round with these hittas
Knowing none of them ain't real
They blowing up your phone
Talking bout they want to chill
Trying to get up in your pants
tearing up inside me
fire and tigers and rage and roars
threaten to rip my limb from limb
but i don't have a word
i say i'm mad
i have that word i say i'm mad
She said she's sorry that she made him ashamed
To be vulnerable and open
Since she's been living that way
It was imparted on she, so to him she did the same
She never knew that the girl that she wanted to be
There was something about the pink walls of my childhood bedroom that I hadn't noticed until I had to bid them goodbye
The blue carpeting caught the tears that fell
And I shut the door
Hoping to delay the inevitable
please listen to the silence of my heart
so you, my love, may be spared from the grief
It consumes all my thoughtsTakes over my bodily functionsIt's overpoweringRuling with society's corruptionsThe darkness devouring
I want a guitar now, don't know how to play the thing;I tried once before but gave up when I broke a string. I want to make some music, make some kind of noise shed,Something that can reflect what's going on in my head. Something that knows what's
Oh, you're sad?
Please don't be!
There are so many things to be happy about, you see.
There are so many places to go!
You can go to a tree,
To a garden,
Or a fair,
You can go anywhere!
She wept
As the fire danced
and the smoke filled her lungs
The crackles of the embers
sang her a song
As her essence left her body
and she closed her eyes
And dreamed of all the good
I often spend many a sleepless night,
Wondering if I could make things right.
I know of your hatred of me,
She called herself the Art Whore.
For she saw art in everything and
anywhere.
The crack in the wall that had been
there since her father had slammed
her head against the wall was art and
How strange it is to see you here, even after all these years?
Come, have you, to see me now, to see me lying in my cask?
Have you come to mourn me now, or have you to degrade me once more?
Second place
The backburner
The fault bearer
Worthless
Stupid
Idiot
Liar
Anorexic
Twig
Bird
In the background
I silently watch as work takes over
Once upon a time,
In a kingdom far away.
There was a mistreated maiden
And to her dismay they teased bout her shoes and her hair everyday.
I'll let you in on a secret
So tell everyone else
I'm the ugly sweater,
I'm just there so you may laugh
I'm the ugly sweater,
I'm here on your behalf
I'm the ugly sweater,
I've always been the same
I'm still the ugly sweater,
This feeling sining into my chest
It feels as though someone has cut me open and poured in hardening cement
I don't even know what is running through my brain
I suppose now, I have really gone insane
Emerald amber mixes in between
the eyes that I stare into, and pray I am unseen.
Glass fogs and the words appear
to be smudged into my quaking fears.
Nose curved like a bell
Your mother may be gone
But, you can still hear her voice
She is there as a guide
To help you make the right choice
Visions of her
Are still with you
She will forever be in your heart
All around her,everything she's ever touched,everyone she's ever met,has faded to the black.
All around her,everything she's ever wanted,everyone she's ever loved,has died.
my teeth chatter at the sound of your name
my eyes close tightly and I hear the whispers from before
you’ve ruined me
A woman
Tall, intelligent, and free
Not only took care of herself
But took care of me
Eighteen kids
And a legacy left behind
So I’m actually stranded here on this deserted islandIt’s kind of ironic how many times I played that game when I was youngerWhere you pick three objects to bring with youThe heat is unbearable
Yelling and crying.
Screaming and dying.
This is the circle of my life.
Why try?
Every time you get happy,
Life becomes crappy.
This is the circle of my life.
You should prove your allegiance by looking me straight in the eyes,
and telling me that what we had meant the world to you.
Although no matter how your pupils attract me I know you’re all lies
Find the strength to carry on
In spite of the loss of a loved one
Just remember the lessons that she taught you
And see your way through
She always wanted you to do your best
Reach out and grab success
What is the point?
If there is no trust or communication
The bond will break
And there will be mass frustration
Nothing but clouded matters
Because words are unspoken
Just open up to one another
I’m asleep oh so gentle, so calm. I wake up to a touch on my arm. I jump up scared thinking he’s back, I then notice the feeling was myself touching my arm. “Anyone there?” I ask frightened.
It's hard being funny. They wait for you to ease the tension. "You make awkward situations comfortable!" You cool the place down with an allegory that's so random they'll reminisce about it for weeks.
Deterioration of the mind,
It's but a state of strained helplessness,
As I urge you to do what builds you up,
But tears me down.
You tell me that I should learn to be selfish,
To take what I want,
She cannot go on
Her heart is frozen
You have sadly hurt her a great deal
Because she is heartbroken
You never showed her any appreciation
Nor, did you really care
Her eyes are now open wide
Dark and gloomy
Along with mass confusion
Quite esoteric
This only adds to the frustration
Nothing but a chaotic scene
With the loss of a life
The little children no longer have their mother
When living in the streets
Your future is uncertain
Anxiety and fear surround you
You are always unsure of what to do
Just a sad state to be in
You are just asking for trouble
Try to find yourself
Girl, there is no reason
For you to be there
Haven't you had enough of his abuse
Just remove yourself from bad air
The longer you stay there
Darkness is what you will continue to find
It was 8th grade when I first met you.
I was alone.
Cuts on your arms and demons in my head.
Our worlds collided
And somehow, us two, who were destined to self-destruct, were saved.
The things I see in the darkness of my room at night
they flicker with fairy-like insincerity of dreams you don't quite remember
Memories of your hand in mine fades like I've rubbed my eyes too hard
Please stop stalking me,
stop watching for my every weakness and exploiting it.
you are a slimy shadow,
a grim stormcloud.
hanging over my head,
My anger
a tsunami rushed straight to you
Love into hatred as I scream and cry
up to the sky you tore away a piece of me
as I begged you to let me go too
Buy the ammo You'll get a discount Courtesy of the NRA You know, the people who sit on leather Wear silk And sip the finest wine Courtesy of the assholes Who lack a moral compass And shoot to kill.
It hurts to know-
you're not enough
Hearts shatter like broken bones
and words ring devistation
You waste yourself in incomplete
Promises
and crushed dreams
All my life I have hid behind a smile
I laugh and smirk and smile when on the inside I am slowly dying
I look back on my life and feel nothing, but regret
Without you days drag on without any meaning
without you the bleak existence that I once used to cherish is now waisted wondering why
why me
why was I not good enough
and why did it all have to end
Dismember me
Pull me apart piece by piece
Torture me
Hear my screams
Break me
Then put me back together
Hearts are often broken
Because, words were never spoken
You said that you would be there
Though you never made it clear
That child needs you
You need to be able to come through
Just be there
When I was younger
I use to be your everything
I was daddy’s little girl
I loved the way you always use to carry me
As times passed
We are broken,
And shattered
And crushed
And tattered
We close our eyes
and hope
for something better
But we must cope
We are laughing
and smiling
It is really sad
To see a person living in despair
We are trying to do our best
To show you that we care
But, you have to do your part
You have to try to turn things around
The unnecessary emotions in our minds and chests leave us bleeding the crimson that our body needs to keep us alive
We wait for something that will never come while we lose someone who was never ours
You ask me if I'm sad;I tell you I'm ok.You ask me if I'm mad;I tell you I'm ok.You ask me if I'm happy;I tell you I'm ok.I fake a smile everyday;To show you I'm ok.But deep down inside,
Goodbye.
It left my lips with an overwhelming sadness
With another tear stain on my cheek
I turn away with embarrassment
We were nothing.
Inside I'm dying, outside I'm crying
Opposites attract. For some people that’s a beautiful twist, the yin to their yang. But what happens when you’re a person who feels too much? All the emotion, intense and passionate.
A tinted red rose grazes my cheeks when I think of the time that you licked your lips after kissing me
when I asked you why, you said you could still taste me.
It was delicately beautiful and disturbing all at the same time,
Help me, I'm terrified.I want to lose control but I know who I am.Help me, I'm terrified.I want to run, but my feet won't move.
A place of life, and a place of death.
A whisper in your ear, feel their breath.
They’re gone from the white walls and hard bed.
Faded into nothing, they’re dead.
"Truly I should be working, no?"
Whispered the little student
"Surly this is what’s right"
She fretted in her mind
"But why should I do it?
Why? oh why? oh why?
Why is it such a stress?
Girl, what a pity?
He did not seem to care about you
No appreciation was shown at all
All he did was tear your heart in two
You need to wake up and realize
That he thrived on putting you down
Another soul slips away
Painting the dawn with blood
My mind is devoid of mercy
My heart is stolen of love
The song of gunfire
Commemorates the dead
I saw you with your new girlfriend a few nights ago.
Your hair was slicked back. You were wearing that tux I picked out for you, the navy one.
You seemed to be having a great time.
Her father found herWide awake, not asleepIn her bed, curled up.So, he asked her,"What are you doing?"She turned to himAnd smiled brightly, saying,"I'm waiting for my wings."
The TV screen flickersShowing what I am so used toBut it's more horribleThan fun little pixelsThey are real peopleShedding real bloodFor a cause that's not so realI fret and worry
In a little town close to homeI found the grave of twelveNone were old enough to bear a weight of woeBut none were young enough to shame
Girl, let me make my voice real clear
There was no love in his heart
He never cared for you
Right from the very start
Nothing but bitter frustration
I can see that look on your face
Part of me,Is under control by you.Part of me,Aches for your attention too.The hugs, the lies,The face, the cries.What am I to you? You tricked me,you hurt me,You lied.You made me stay up at night.It brought me to tears,So dont say no more.Your wo
Everyone needs to wake up
We just need to realize
That tragedy and terror
Is taking place right before our eyes
Nothing but sad and dark moments
Many are in a state of disbelief
Can you just get one more chance to embrace her?
Sadly, you just can not
Your mother is gone forever
You will just have to adjust as things come about
Remember the things that she taught you
I...
developed into a wolf
of smart solitude
I...
lurked in the background
not seen nor heard
I...
From the inside looking out
A bright-eyed horse stands
Head held high to the sky
Ready to take on the world
Without a single doubt
Cutting is art.
Sometimes,
you plan out what you want to see
Sometimes,
it come out of nowhere.
Screaming, crying
Yet no one can hear it
Hurting, dieing
Though no one can see it
Heart broken to pieces
And no one can heal it
Wanting to stop
But continuing to run
Drip, Drip
The sound of blood from my wrists
Drip, Drip
The tears falling from my chin
No, No
The thoughts that course through my mind
No, No
There is a family that loves me
No, No
great people die by making no fuss,
ordinary people cry and make out fuss,
but let us not make any of the either,
No flood of tears too.
Earthquakes bring up destruction,
and men calculate deaths,
Now, Joy was filled all over,
And sadness is seen in some;
Though joyous they would be, they seem sad
But sweetness flowed on others minds.
Sadness was filled, by the day’s end
God answer us
when we are in distress
may You protect us
send us help and support
to make our plans a success
make us shout in joy
make us victorious
Anger is an ugly thing
Sometimes it’s the only thing
Anger is never the answer
Especially for the smallest problems
It tends to reach us at the roughest times
I can no longer bare it
She may be gone
But, her spirit lives on
Very energetic and goal-oriented
She possessed a heart that was strong
She was witty and very pretty
A photojournalist that was sincere
I called a thousand times last night
But you were never there
I wore my voice out crying
But I know that you don't care
What happened to the kingdom
We built from blood and ash
You said you loved me
From the first day that we were together
You said you cared for me
And that you would forever.
Those nights we talked
Berries andSky andFaded jeans andOceans andChina teacups andForget-me-nots.Morpho butterflies in the pit of myStomach andHis eyes andMyHeart.
I suppose
It's supposed
To be an ending
I suppose
I'm supposed
To feel sad
Yet,
I suppose
I'm supposed
To stop supposing things
It only leads to more Fiction than Fact
Everyone wants to find the love of their life.
We entrust a stranger with our thoughts,
souls, and our entire existence.
Does the very thought of it frighten you?
I would not give you the pleasure of Killing you in your sleep.
I would be making it too easy for you.
You definitely didn't give me the pleasure.
My eyes were wide open. I witnessed every moment.
Follow me down to the willow trees,where we can sing and dance along with the bees;With our youthful hands in the air, set your spirit free.
I remember I found you lying in pain on top of the stone.
I took you with me because you were hurt and I was alone.
How beautiful your petals were as I brought you into the light, with a green stem and bright complexion.
Pain has become a part of me,
Like a leaf on a tree.
Day or night,
its still there.
Pain is when you cry so much it feels as if there is no air.
Pain is and will always be part of me,
Baby come home
In bed i wait for darling to come home
Wondering if he is alright or alone
I stare at the cling with tears in my eyes
Wondering if i could make alone another night
With chapped lips and an aching heart,
I dream of glaciers drifting apart.
Heavy tears freeze as they graze air,
a blizzard arises as I feel your stare.
I recall the first day you loved me,
Girl, just let him go
You do not need the pain
Remove yourself from bitterness
Before it drives you insane
Just reach higher
Make your world bright
Remove yourself from darkness
You chose her, not me.
Cant you see why I'm not with glee?
I'm happy for you, but sad for me.
Was I the reason we couldn't be?
She has your heart.
But mine, you broke apart.
It's her you want not me.
Who am I?
I am the new definition of loneliness if it ever needed one
I am unseen
I am alone
I am unwanted
Trapped in this place I can't call home,
in a city so dead
This is who I am
I am the quiet girl in the back of the class
No one notices me they just go past
I am invisible and broken
But no one will ever know
Cold as ice.
Intricate flakes hit the ground.
Just like me.
Fragile, but falling.
Close to destruction.
Hello Charles. I'm not going to call you grandpa becayse I've never met you, and I haven't always heard the best things about you. But if I could, I would give you the chance to explain yourself.
Putting on a fake smile
To keep the questions away
To keep the pain away
To keep the memories away
I am laying in the same bed, my head on the same pillows that caught my tears when I was fifteen
Some feel the warmth of the fire during winter
Others feel the cold, even by the fireplace
They are blanketed with a different kind of cold
A cold the fireplace cannot melt
Is this how to you starting to feel like I'm not here for you no more like I don't exist in your world so your just block me out for life why can't we just start over
Lots of people are drowning in sorrow
As the result of yet, another tragic event
A college campus filled with chaos and confusion
Along with lots of frustration
Several lives have been sadly lost
I thought you´d always be there
I thought you´d never leave
Now you’ve left me standing
With my heart left on my sleeve
You swore we were forever
And never will we part
I remeber day one, when you walked in the room without your usual kick to your step. You told me you were moving into the city and away from our nowhere town.
Growing up sucks in this world
Having pressures to be perfect
You try to get away from it
Clear your mind and run away
But you still have that voice
The one in the back of your head
I know it will never be true
Because although they say,
"I will always love you"
Deep down inside
All I hear are the lies
Telling me everyday,
"You will never be good enough
If I could talk to you one last time
I'd ask, "Was it really worth it?
Were the drugs really worth your life?
These voices are hurting me
I don't know what to do
Momma can't you see
I'm slowly dying next to you
These voices are killing me
Why won't they go away
I can't live my life
When you're little you won't notice.
Perhaps, they won't even do anything for you to notice.
You'll live your toddler days in sweet unknowing bliss.
But that's only if you're lucky.
My finger tips, cold
Touch bare chest
My heart beat, loud
Frozen in time
Arms grabbed me, forcfully
I had no choice
I looked away, tears
Blurred my vision
Gray skies meet gray buildingswhich stand on gray stones.Along the long, ashen road,whereon many have troddenand many have fallen,I, too, treadwith subdued reverence.
Theres so much hurt
So much pain
So much broken glass
That cuts my wrist
I wasnt so broken
I wasnt so cut
I wasnt so depressed
I wasnt so sad
I often confused the word love
With caution-
They sounded the same to me
and I learned early on
That broken hearts are a crime scene,
Always have this thought
Believing that I am lost
Crying uncontrollably trying not to be scared
Dying inside feeling helpless
Expressing is so hard
Looking in the mirror at myself,
Wishing I could be anyone, anyone else,
And I can't really tell you why,
Other than I've always been afraid to fly,
And even though I try I can't see the light.
So long I have lived in pain
Yet he just now can see
All the pain and grief
That consumes all of me
How can I be happy
When I’ve only ever been hurt
Instead of vowing to heal my scars
Your grey shield
Shimmers in the sunlight,
as it guards your
fiery red heart,
from my hopeless blue heart
My bold black shield
twinkles in the darkness,
camoflauging your
okay, so maybe I'm not the most experienced gal,
and I'm probably going about this all wrong.
You see, when you say my name you make it sound pretty
not like a curse, or burden like he did.
I used to believe in a close happy family
But now I've been awakened and feel so alone
I always dreamt of staying together
But I never dreamt of departing our ways
I remember sitting in your floor,
A pizza box between us,
and a pillow fort behind.
We were talking,
and I wanted to touch your hair,
It looked so soft.
It was,
You use to look at me the way you look at her,
and I use to love it,
Like I use to love you,
but now I just miss you.
It's was easier to stop loving you,
Than it is to stop missing you,
I miss you sometimes,
When I think about you.
I think about you sometimes,
When I'm lonely.
I get lonely sometimes,
When my friends abandon me.
I crave your love
But I hate when you look at me.
I hate the resentment I see in your eyes,
and I hate the pity that lies underneath it.
You didn't want me,
You said you really loved me true
but when i got sad
you ran and never looked back
I walk through the park
I see a tree
A tree with no leaves
I look at the tree
The tree looks at me
I'm looking into a mirror
I am the tree
The tree with no leaves
He lights a cigarette.
He lights it and inhales its toxin.
He looks at me with eyes that’s full of pain.
He inhales his way to death and tells me that I’m the one he would’ve died for.
I was thinking that everything were sorted. Thinking i knew the end of the story.
Well think again, my prediction was wrong.
Oh, how wrong i was. You have no idea.
Wish i hadn't gotten so near.
*I have exceeded expectations and yet still i fall down.
People will leave you and you'll think that's fine.
follow me, soon you'll be all mine.
when you try and get rid of me you will realise there's no hope.
*All's it take's it that one small thing to bring you back down to earth.
To suddenly start thinking what your life has been worth.
Did you achieve many of your goal's?
or any of your plan's in life?
*In my own world id'e be made out of playdo'h, and the colour purple id'e be. The place i can learn to be me, start to be me... I have something no one else has, my inner light.
The colour purple i think id'e like.
It's so frustrating. While i'm here slowly suffocating. Quickly getting even more bitter. There's still time to fix this. There's just time to fix it, FIX IT. Get a grip, put your brain in gear and shift it.
*It's time to un screw this fantasised head of mine, wouldn't ya say?There ain't no one else to blame.If through all the sunny day's, all's i see is rain. It's time that my higher self showed itself. Made an appearance, wouldn't ya say.?
* I try and convince myself it's fine.
The problem's ain't
getting any bigger. Who are you trying
to kidd?
ya kidder.
You got ya finger pressed on the trigger.
Im the one holding
the gun.?
This is me... Drinking beer to make sure i don't see clear. Will you forgive me Mom.? Staying indoor's. No i don't have any flaw's. Taking "Shit" drinking even more you bet. Will you forgive me Mom? Forgive me.? Please Forgive me for my Sins.
*Yet again feeling so,so confused, as well as my arm's being battered and bruised. Listening to my music my mind drift's away. Trapped playing What's left of my memory's. Here i live,here i stay. Confusion and hate day after day.
*my Only Friend*
I was the only one that really understood,
when everyone else left,
i gave you the gift of not giving a f***.
I made you feel strong,
wen infact you were weak.
i helped you to disconnect,
* SMILE....*.
*Just don't get it.
Don't think i ever will.
Sick of going over the same shit.
In my head that is...
Most thing's i have forgiven,
Many thing's i have forgotten.
*YOU LISTENED...
to me moan,whine,talk about nothing.
Everything.
My worry's. My hope's. You DIDN'T kick me
when i was down,
or when my smile was upside down.
You could see i was on self destruct mode.
*YOU LISTENED...
to me moan,whine,talk about nothing.
Everything.
My worry's. My hope's. You DIDN'T kick me
when i was down,
or when my smile was upside down.
You could see i was on self destruct mode.
A little white feather on a boring swan lay,
wanted to go on an adventure that day,
so he unbuckled himself from the coat so white,
and sailed off without any fright.
Over the meadows and trees he floated,
Oh! Fork, you are so silver and strong.
You help me eat my salad.
This is why I write a ballad.
Oh! Fork with no distinct handle.
Picked up ham, cucumber and leaf
Cheese and Onion and beef
I sit here as a child
watching the eyes that once smiled
blink out
Doubt
fills my mind
as I try to find a rhyme
that explains
this sadness ripping into me like rain
rips the sun
Demons are chasing me
People replacing me
Lies are incasing me
While the truth is facing me
My steps retracing me
I feel alone
Don’t wanna go home
No one answers their phone
All my friends seem pretend
This is the end
As I sit alone on the brink of death
My mind wanders to a gentler time.
A time when the wind didn't bite
And sun it set- never died.
I remember the first kisses,
the many, many kisses
I have quite a few questions for you
I've been wanting an answer for years
Of course I can't really ask you
I don't know where you are
I sit here alone.Sadder than my mind allows.Alone... With someone who hates me.That I can never seem to get rid of.Abused... By my own thoughts.That fold me into olbivion.
Never have I found a way to change the way I feel,All this hatred and agony is getting hard to conceal.No matter what I do,I always feel so blue.Lost within myself waiting to be free,All whilst hiding pain,
I’d forgotten what happiness was like,he’d hurt me and left me in the dark.Pain was etched in my soul,and anger swallowed my heart.The tears I cried were for loss, because I didn't know it was a gain.
Do not love a man who drinks as if he is invincible (but complains about the hangover);
Reptile;
Cold scales abraze my once soft flesh,
An egg that never hatched.
Now basking under hell's sun is hell's son
Parents tell me "do better,
You don't want to go to hell...son."
Blue Betty,
can you hear me?
Twinkling Jingles,
are sinking in the sea.
Blue Betty,
can you feel me?
Lost in Atlantis
Osiris tell me how could this be?
Broken Neptune,
into an eternal abyss that no one even knows
how far will it take me? how far will i go?
It was in the clove of seasons,
the flowers were stained.
The grass around was wet,
from the night when it rained.
A tombstone now stands,
where the bleeding tree once stood.
I don't believe in them
Especially when people play the roles
I'm sleep, thinking I’m dreaming them
I met a boy and asked him what he thought of our relationship
Being hurt doesn't matter
Being controlled constantly is the norm
People don't notice how you shatter
Overhearing the other girls cruel chatter
In your mind their whispers brew a strom
Colours we strive to leave behind, Hope of a future beyond our lives.
A legacy at the mercy of future generations, It's the only variation.
Some days, I am ashen-
I drag my way around,
And I will not look you in the eye.
I have no energy to do the smallest things,
And I will slump into the wall when someone gets near.
Dropping cocktail names because they sound so sweet
Auntie's house last night too easy, score some at the meet
This device in you hands, good for so many things. But right now all you need is it's music, and the distraction it brings.
The shivers in the night, the quiet inner fight
really, victory for me is a night of rest
I often cool my hot body, shield it from peace
The skies go to war when the clouds are silver
all through the land you can hear the cracks and roars
see the anger flashing in the sky
destroying everything in the wrong place and the wrong time
I didn't believe.
What happens when you die?
Is there a heaven and hell or am I living a lie?
I didn't believe.
You see stuff on the news.
You figure none of those things can possibly happen to you.
Devastated and destroyed,
I can feel my existence crumbling.
The tension in my body, the strain in my mind,
The cold in my eyes, and the black in my heart.
Everything is deteriorating.
Where I lived pills didn't come in bottles. Pills came in boxes, popped out individually. It gives you time to count each pill.
you have flowers and bees
then water feeds trees
even an ostrich would warn a zebra of danger
why doesn’t anyone’s mind work with mine?
a mom and her daughter will speak in unison
Even though you've been dead for two years, I still miss you terribly.While you were alive, I meant a lot to you and you meant a lot to me.You were an excellent mother and that is certainly true.
I'm here to sleep
like America is today
never to speak
Just follow a path one way
who needs art
when you're molded like clay
Rip out the part
that we wish would stay
I type words and write letters
I listen to sad songs and sing along
I thought by now that I'd be better
I know now that I was wrong
Don't say you're over me when you're not
Unlike the potion #9
I hold no breathtaking purpose
or rhyme
I'm simply written
to be
that #25 poem,
you see.
And with this my master,
will be so happy to find
Yeah, I fell in love
Yes, I fell in love with you
I'm not ashamed I did it
How about you?
Do you ever wonder?
Or even care about me?
It seems like you don't
And if not, I'll let it be
There's a girl that sits in front of you during class.
She's sad, but no one thinks to ask.
Her hair hangs in her eyes,
Masking her tears, giving her disguise.
She went home alone today.
Kite grasped within a child's gripThin string suddenly slipsLost past burnt finger tips.Once was so dear, no long hadDevoured by blue quick sand.To the nothing reaches desperate, empty hands.
My heart is a dull thud in my chest. Drained from all life, it struggles to beat once, twice,
I miss you.
I miss the way our snugged faces touched, our eyesight would soften.
"Look me in my eyes and tell me you don't want this to end."
I don't want this shower to end.I don't want to stepOutside,Naked and unprepared toFace that damned world. I don't want to leave the flimsy steamAnd concentrated droplets
I remember that it hurt,Seeing the one you love,Love someone else.I remember that it hurt,Driving out into the middle of nowhere,Just to scream at the top of your lungs.I remember that it hurt,
I remember his eyesThat they reflected mine,The golden encapsulated,Red-flecked beautiesThat so often got us confusedFor brotherAnd sister.
With all my heart
You are tender and kind
Your always on my mind
If you could rewind
Stop all the fighting
It's not right
To fight
Over silly stuff
And don't be so rough
it started with a wave
no
a tsunami.
it started with a tsunami
bringing chaos to the order
crushing the structure
flooding normal
until i was drowning in an endless ocean
From my distant branch
I see the nest of broken birds.
They are huddled close together
And shielded from the sun.
They’ve suffered wounds that nothing seems to staunch—
My Love, did you know?
The sound of your voice was and is sweet and so sincere.
The taste of your lips was and is sentimentally divine.
Your touch gave me astonishing goose-bumps.
My heart is breaking,
my faith is shaking,
too much is what all of this stress is taking.
Can't calm down,
can't look around,
on the outside I smile.
On the inside I frown...
So tired of life,
Are you ready to be fooled?
We break up, we make up and then everythings okay.
But now? nothing is right.
Where is the makeup part to our routine?
10:56pm
Someone tell me why im having a mental breakdown.
its 10:56 and im numb.
not too long ago i got my phone taken away,
and just let me something about that.
I’m mental.
I’m losing what’s left of my rapidly
deteriorating mind.
Its hard to understand a basket
case.
No one really does.
Unfortunate.
She drowns in the depths of depression.
Necessity.
She needs to get away.
Escape.
She vies for freedom.
Personality.
What's that?
I've been searching for hours,
to find a reason why.
It's 2 A.M.
and I'm running circles in my mind.
I whisper prayers
that go unheard.
I wonder when
my thoughts will turn.
To happy days
Shut your mouth and listen to what it is I have to say
I will take you all back on that specific day
I was laying in my room listening to the two of you argue
Orange is walking alone. Orange Is hearing the crunching of leaves beneath your feet and nothing else. Orange is wishing you could hear his footsteps beside your's but you're not that lucky.
It's 6:27 on a Thursday morning
I woke up with a knife in my stomach and I'm missing you
It's 7:39 on a Thursday morning
"you're just lazy"
I hear it from my mom,
my boyfriend,
my teachers,
my coaches,
just about every
valuable person
in my life.
To me,
Im merely
surviving.
The picture of myself is thus:
fading, losing color, changed from smile to frown,
gazing back my eyes, alien, hurt.
It's a lousy life when you live to die
Caught in a world of thieves, heartaches, broken dreams
In trying to get by your stream of faith runs dry
Living inside a slum
Pain's sting starts feeling numb
Adults always tell us
that they know best
They have more experience,
and time, they'll attest
They feed those words
Into our brains
Inject that message into
our infant veins
Red locks of fire
Framing my expression
Eyes of changing colors
From under the earth to the green above
Legs of a gazelle
Nose of a boar
Wide grin and sparkling teeth
Pristine and perfect
Surrounded by darkness
The light always burns at night
Gravel crunches underneath the tires as I pull up
I see him standing on the side of the house
Covered half by light and the other half
By darkness.
People think they have me figured out
That smiling, funny girl
Described as me
But that's the cover of I
I hide more underneath my skin than the anatomy books say is there
Tears saved till it's too much
You laughed at the girl who sat alone,
Insults thrown at her like rocks, her name unknown.
She was the girl who sat in the dark,
Her once-happy heart, torn apart.
You laughed at the girl who sat silent,
I have an obsession with quotes because other people are so much better than I am at putting my feeling into words.
The tears that are surfacing upon my eyes and leaving glistening trails of a salty substance are not there for the comfort you had given me.
i hate my scars.
they are not lovely,
they are not bravery.
they dictate my life.
they tell me what i can wear,
where to go
who i can trust,
who i can love...
I smile in hope they will stop staring.
I smile in hope that they will see the beauty I see when I look in the mirror.
I smile in hope to make someone's day.
"Who is that?" you ask as you stare her way.
shes changed so much.
"Why is she like that?" you wonder everyday.
"Look at her stomach!" You say, grossed out.
She hates herself
finally she was starting to have a good day
when someone couldnt keep their mouths shut
getting written up for something she didnt even do
she just ignored it and continued on
I strived for perfection
Finally perfect my look in the reflection
Just like that the mirror cracked
Broken once more
Pieces to be picked up
And reassembled
So tired of trying to reconstruct
Once upon a time
(She was torn down to the bone
nothing left except for the voices inside her thin skull.
She was vulnerable
or easy as some may call it.
He took her heart
Here am I, and here are we,
A there's no place I'd rather be,
For as the innocents of past
Would wish the rest of us would last
Yet come upon the midnight clear
I'm torn away from who I hold dear,
She had sadness in her eyes
Everyday of her life,
And no one knew why.
They didn't know
The memories that haunted her
Each and every day
Of her short life.
You are not alone
Sleepy eyes
Purple crescents burn bright under them
Boney knees
Baggy pants conceal lack of nutrition
A broken heart, longing to stop beating
It screams in agony
Trying to invent myself.
I'll juggle it all and make all the right choices.
I'm overwhelmed.
Like a cloud stretching to cover the entire Earth.
It reminds me that I am small.
I will miss those words, lostNow forbidden from my mindMy body refuses greatness,So I can't repeat them a second timeThe first time is the best though,And if not,Simply remembered for being first.
I'm stuck in this quicksand of expectation.
There's no where for me to go but down.
To the bottom of the hole.
But is there a bottom?
DreamsOf regret and painRattle around in my head--Abandoned thoughts,And untouched memoriesooze from my sleep,And into my ear--Spilling onto my pillowand leaving a stain
I remember watching him sleep,
his eyes fleeting back and forth under their lids.
I remember him drawing long breaths,
and his heartbeat wavering in his chest.
You may have it all,
With your lovely eyes and bashful
smile,
But all of you won't matter in a while.
I've given in to the greater good,
And it's time to let it be understood.
Choke
Choking on bile
Fresh from my soul
My eyes collect
The wretched substance
I will fight
Never let the monster out
Please,
Turn around
Your innocence,
It blinds me
I look into your eyes that are now so bright...
My eyes are dark, with just a flickering light.
Oh, how I miss you...
I wonder if you miss me too...
I don't understand what you see in her,
Who am I and who will I become,
to fall far from the family tree or be the last one?
Who will accept my failures and love my flaws?
Everyone loves a girl who is always less flawed.
Water running down my face, as today i decide my fate
going or stayin wouldn't even matter
Would it?
Not going to let another day pass me byEven though my hair maybe a messAnd I'm not going to lieI don't always pass the test
But I'm going to let the world know that I'm flawless
Every answer is a lie,
Every night it all unfolds.
Only when I'd rather die
Is when the truth is told.
Every answer is one I hide,
It scares me more than you know
Because when I search,
Bleeding because it paints the pictures
so heavily spilled
in my mind.
And seeing the crimson upon my skin
Gives me pain that makes me real.
Crying because
It makes me view
Writer's Note: I wrote this when I was young and realized even when your a grown adult you still dont undestand true family value.
A permanent reminder runs crooked down his chest
a seam, a scar, still raw, deep, and red
he is in debt to a strangers hand, loses rest
for fear of failing his second chance
Stuck in life?
Don't cry
Strut with pride!
Hope to die?
Don't end your life
End the strife!
Get some time
Just free your life
And be happy.
They keep trying to tell me I should be happy.
Ok, I am really trying,
I mean honestly I ain't cut in almost 10 months now.
People say that it's pathetic when someone is that sad,
Driving home that rainy night, Everything was normal, everything was right.I turned the same way I always do,quickly running out of time before curfew!Almost home, just a few miles to go,
Are you oblivious to this
This is something you can't miss
I have feelings in my heart, in the dark
I can't let them go no
I just keep them inside and try to hide
She lays still on the ivory bed
Her pale face devoid of life
I sit near her and hear the rhythm of the machine
It's taunting sounds beating at my chest
How weak of me as I wait
Within my heart lay a gap that I cannot fill
A gash within my emotions that lay unhealed
This wound inflicted bleeds deep within me
This stream of emotions wil never heed
A cloud of thoughts loom in my mind
I stare hard at the numbers and sign.
I concentrate,
I rack my mind.
Minutes pass but I still haven’t a clue,
I try and try,
But I still don’t know what to do.
I flinch.
False consensus effect strikes again.
I'm not afraid of your touch. Fear has no position on the playing field.
you recoil, my body like a stovetop to the touch.
I still hate myself every day
And it hasn't changed in a single way
Nobody loves me, I love no one
Try to avoid me or better yet, run.
I have no potential, not hard to see
Though I've yet to pull myself together
There's a part of me that seems to have tethered
My body image and self neglect
Are all pure relfections of lack of self-respect.
I starve myself day by day
Do you know what it's like to live every day
Dreading your life in every way?
Fearing you'll never be good enough
The minutes get longer and your life gets tough.
And how about that body of yours
Why do I always feel like nobody cares
And when I need someone, no one's there?
Being alone is a normal feeling
The real me I've been concealing.
The thought of isolation was always appealing
Raw as can be, I sit on my chair,feeling,although I don't like to be felt.
My head hurts from thinking too much aboutthe undeniablefuture.
How precious seconds pass by me with haste.
I grip its tail in hopes that it will stay.
A force that acts poetically with space.
"Leave me slowly. Keep me here." I pray.
Everyday feels the same,
like im going insane,
trying to stay in this game,
No one knows,
what I dare not show,
And no matter where I go,
You are there,
showing you don't care
A shadow in the crowd,
Tears rolling from eyes and cries so loud,
Unknown and unheard all his life,
Dying in pain with the memories of his wife.
i guess i knew i would shatter
if i let myself fall for you as hard as i did.
but i did not expect microscopic shards of myself
to fly through the atmosphere and land miles apart.
its hard letting go of something you've been struggling to hold onto.
especially when its hurt you more than it has helped you.
but it'll hit you one day when you're holding someone else's hand while they're driving,
when he spotted the abandoned clothesline he knew it would be
a safe place to hang his drenched fabrics to dry
(safety was always his priority; practical thinkers are
I can’t ignore the voices
Circling in my head
Do it, do it now
I can’t ignore the images
Rewinding in a never-ending cycle
I want to go to sleep
But never wake up
With words so deep
My life I reap.
Lying in bed
WIth the sheets grasping my head
My face turning red
Hoping I'd end up dead.
Do you know what it's like every day
Dreading your life in every way?
Fearing you'll never be good enough
The minutes get longer and your life gets tough.
I'm a pest,
And I'm a thief.
Though, I do not mean no harm,
I disturb your peace.
But can you give me my peace?
Can you give back what you took from me?
Only half is fine.
Waking up day by day,
slowly trying to take the stress away
Days going time by time,
Me without a filter.Sad and cold as winterHappy seems so UnfamiliarThink my heart has died and witheredLast time I smiled, i was with her.And now she’s goneLeft me all aloneWhat did I do wrong?
My dreams are re-told stories that swamp my mind while I sleep.
They're all violent,
but never entwine in one another.
One.
I'm smothered.
Where do we go when we are lost?
Where can we find ourselves and what’s the cost?
I’m searching of the girl I once was.
Looking and looking, where can she be?
I see a girl, is it me?
The streetlights shine bright,
There's a glimmer in her eye,
She can not sleep tonight
All she does is cry.
She's lonely, broken, rejected.
The world has took it's toll.
Look at me crumbleWatch me fallI’m doing my bestI’m giving my allBut nothing worksIt falls apartNo matter whatI have to restartIm growing tiredI want this to end
I'm you perfect barbie doll,I can't be fat have to be small,I'll be perfect for you, it's what you wish,But in the end, I know I'll die from this.For you I guess I'll be
I'm a Marionette,Your lifeless little toy,Anyone can play with me,Be they girl or boy.The wires tied around my arms,You control them as you wishYou can break my heart and cause me harm
this is a poem
poemmy poem if you will
it is a poem about poem
aw yeah poem
salamanders have
very high
iqs
and so do i
because I are be in ap class
give me the razor, with edges stained red,
give me the pills that will silence my head.
give me the vodka, an infinite glass,
the cigarette smoke, till my cravings are fed.
Afraid to meet their eyes
Afraid to look away
Afraid to speak my mind
Afraid of letting silence stay
Afraid my true colors will show
Afraid they'll never see
This is just a glimpse inside
I'm hurting so bad...
She doesn't know
Cause she's glad
I'm not in her show,
I meant life,
But its the same
I want a knife
No more of the shame
My heart aches and screams as I lay in my bed. My body is cold though I am covered. My tears want to pour from my eyes. But my pride won't let them. I wish so bad that I hadn't let someone so close to my heart.
Why dont you cry out my friend? Do you want your pain to never end? This is the fate some say you chose. But others would never know. The life was chosen for you. A horrible tale you were put through.
Tears don't mean sad or pain,
Isn't even flow from wounded heart...
Tears are way to express joy and sad...
Emotion charged when fervently warmed...
In Very sad or Ecstatic joy,
"Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful' .
I'd repeat it. Look in the mirror and say " I love you".
I'd try , but nothing would come out . I'd go mute.
I spent most of my life trying to hide myself.
people will never recognized a simple girl.
who is like other girls, simple as a paper flower.
who really is nothing compare to the real flowers.
whose color and petals are different from others.
All I did was love you
While you snuck out and gave your love to another
But all she wanted was your money
And now look who's the sucker
After you made me sign that waiver
So I just did a spoken word poetry today during Sunday Service and guess what? It was bad, literally bad. Bad from the compostion to the articulation of thoughts to the actual voicing out of the words.
The key to mystery is balance;
Though, I suppose, it doesn't really matter if you're not trying.
Sometimes the silence doesn't hang quite as heavy as it used to
My last day of summer.
There's such a bitter sweet feeling to this day.
There's a couple different ways to look at it:
As I called it;
The last day of summer
the last day of 4am phone calls
The richest love
from deep within
trapped in the catacombs
and left to die
Lives longer,
Shines brighter,
Than these tedious old lies
Meant for nothing more
than to keep you satisfied
All was in vain
We knew it
Our hearts have fractured
But only I am pierced by the shards
Now words are exchanged
You didn’t know how you spoke
Through the emptiness of your eyes
Rocky spine, left in the night
fragile skin that reflects the light.
Rocky spine, growing strong
marks that show what went wrong.
Rocky spine, with a smile so bright
eyes that sparkle in the night.
Just shut up!
Please, be quiet!
For the love of humanity,
of God,
(the one you refuse to believe in),
SHUT UP!
Adored by all.
Loved by the light of day or during the dark of night.
Irreplacable if lost to time and endless wonder.
Calm even in the threat of danger.
Everything fell into place when she fell down that hole.
I don't know what I want.
All I know is what I've been told.
But are my thoughts truly my own?
Does that make them mine,
Or are they something instilled?
I am a woman behind a curtain,
and that's something that I find difficult to accept.
Keeping lies, and secrets, I seem to always let
them take advantage of every part of me
my heart, my lips, my eyes.
I’m
Broken up inside and I
Can’t tell you what’s
Wrong but I will
Try to let you see.
You’d
Hate me so much because I’m
Not what you dreamed and I
Am so sorry but you
Don't look now, child
The world has gone to war
They don't care that you're just a child
To them, you're one soldier more.
-
Those aren't gunshots you hear now
Those aren't dying screams
Walking away from this pain,
Leaving it behind,
To try and see,
A new light.
When Tad
Was a very shy Lad
He gave it all he had
And that was just too bad
But at least he wasn't a Cad
But that would of made him mad
So for that he was glad
And at least he can add
Oh my darling, please don’t
Don’t let depression sear your heart
I know it’s hard to say goodbye
But sometimes friends must part
Forgive me for always wanting to be in love,
I know it sounds dumb and stupid.
But I rather be in love and feel it’s warmth then hurt from the outcome
Of its winter cold.
I’m surrounded by a wall
That blocks out the sun
But keeps out the harsh wind
I hate it
But its safety
A million stars up in the sky
one shines brighter I can't deny
A love so precious a love so true
a love that comes from me to you
The angels sing when you are near
within your arms I have nothing to fear
I loathe your addiction to cigarettesand the women you go to seebecause one is killing you
Shadows of the night
Mortal enemy
Of my soulless life
That once again
Has brought to the light
What by day I manage
To keep buried deep inside me
By day you can see
Some people hide behind a curtain,
But I wear a mask.
My mask needed no purchase,
It came with my costume of skin,
and can not be recieved via pay pal nor cash.
I wear this mask every day
Neglect–ed
Ringed out with blood and stretch marks.
Wrinkles written in between the crevices of my eyes.
They sting and burn. Fighting, fighting, and falling.
I kept falling. I failed.
i made it a day without you and looks where its got me
I'm covered in filth and there's no one to stop me
can you not see that
there is no happy
ending for people like
us
this only ends when
one of us is dead
and the other decides
to move on or
grieve eternally
A broken heart is like a dead computer
You can charge it and re-use it as
many times as you want to
But in the end, its just a dead as the battery is in the
DEAD COMPUTER
Tired Eyes, and broken vessels..
Crimson streaks, and open wounds...
No escape for me, only the passion I once had.
No will left to fight, no life left to live
I write on my wrists
the lies that were told.
I draw picture of
the love that was untold.
I imagined meanings
that never came true.
I wrote You.
I drew You.
I imagined You..
In this strange tangled mess I left us in, I found love. Or rather, I think I did.
I thought I loved you. I define Love as giving anything for the betterment of another human being.
I raise the sun,
the moon nods off as its passes under the horizen,
making the hills its bed for the day.
Drip, Drop, Drip... The rain hits the window
Drip, Drop, Drip... The facet leaks agaisnt the cold basin
Drip, Drop, Drip... Her blood in her head pounds
Drip,Drop,Drip... She falls to the floor
I was in love. And you were too.we were together, through and through.but you left me alone, Stranded in an ocean of my tears.it was the end. Of me. Of you. Of us. Of who we were.
Tears sliding down my face,
People stare,
But I don't care.
Dear ol friend,
Left without little goodbye,
Tomorrow being a big day,
Now gone.
Darkness
Is all I can see
Death
Is all I dream
Happiness
Has long since faded away
Struggle
Each and every single day
Mind
Is slowly turning to dust
Pain
My hand
Reaches out
To try and
Destroy the darkness
And the distance between us
You are so close
Yet
You are so far
away
Please
Don't go
Away
She sat there in disbelief,
The things they had written were so malicious.
She read the words on the screen:
Whore, slut, bitch.
Smile,
Wave hello,
Be friendly,
Be bold,
Be perfect.
They expect that from you,
So you give it to them.
“What’s wrong?”
They ask, if you only slightly frown.
A sorrowful painter never shows their work, wrapped in memories, connecting words unspoken.// Aching with attention, craving another stroke of the brush, gently gliding over rough canvases.// Leaking misery the paint drips, along with your
Our eyes are once again forced open by the sound of a beeping alarm. Morning has stolen our precious sleep.
You see the Iron Empress
Who standing tall, stoic, regal.
She hides the Carefree Clown
Who could entertain for hours.
She hides the Lovesick Maid
Blinded by love unrequited.
Slit my wrists and hope to die
Not for one more second do I want to have open eyes
Leave this world eternally
Sleep forever, oh so blissfully
No more worries to keep me up
No reason to give a fuck
I am a lonely face
searching a heart to rest in
Yearn for a warm embrace
Soft and gentle skin
To protect and nurture
Help that being grow
I will search for her
Till the day I know
Grandma
Grandma
Have you any faith?
No ma'am
No ma'am
You don't have enough
Grandma
Grandma
Am I ready yet?
No ma'am
No ma'am
You are too full of regret
I still don't inhabit my own body.
I am a guest.
I am a spectator
as my meat covered bones
tangle with other vessels
in dark rooms
vomitting languages unknown,
quiet and uncomfortable.
You used to be the sunshineWho gives me hope at nightYou used to be the sunshineFor, I will always fight
Chapped lips and Dark eyes,
Acne scars and Chubby thighs.
Senseless dreams and hopeless times.
Waiting for the sun to rise.
Quiet kisses and Poisened lips.
Dying lungs and Useless tips
There once was a girl named She.
Nobody knew her but me.
How she tried to make friends
To dress in the trends
Only to walk by unseen.
There once was a girl named She.
Nobody knew her but me.
Two years ago
I had to climb the same wall
Only thicker this time
And right now I am torn between
Climbing it
Or watching it stand strong
Regardless of what lies behind
If I do climb it
My spanish lover is charming
He speaks with the knowlege of and educated graduate
He walks with the stride of an ambitious gentleman
He's different from the others, obviously
i feel as if those silencing thoughts mean
no more than a whisper in the rain,
because the rain can be so loud
and whispers have no choice but to fade away.
fade away.
When skies were always of a blue
In times when I knew love was in me,
When I was young and filled with joy,
The world seemed beautiful and good,
I loved a girl, and she loved me,
I want to die so I can be one with the clouds in the sky. Do you think they will take me with them to a better place?
Little girl's tears run down a red cheek
All she ever heard is "You are such a freak!"
Sitting quietly with metal death in her hand
With a lot of fear and nothing more to stand
No one can see
The pain in my eyes
No one can see
When I cry
No one can see
That i'm dying inside
Thise comments you make
Hurt like hell
Those comments you made
Left marks on my skin
There comes a time in your life
When you stop checking
Behind shower curtains and under beds
Because you feel as if you would be better off
If the monster got you anyway
A smile on the face is my disguise...
the truth is hidden behind my eyes...
never was i good at emotional epression...
never did i want anybody to ask questions...
Pills, pills, pills.They numb the pain and make me forget you.I take all the pills,searching for one that makes me feelas good as you made me feel.
You hear the whispers.
Your hear the rumors.
Everyone is talking.
Everyone is judging.
From the outside looking in, everything was alright
Mommy was happy, Daddy held her tight
Everyone worked hard, everyone did smile,
We were all happy, at least for this little while.
to have loved and lost is not so bad,
that is what they tell me.
although,
they have many times failed to tell me that
to be lost and loved
is the worst tragedy of them all.
Tweedle-Dee, tweedle-dum.
She lays there likes a drum, as he's pounding into her.
Treating her like no one.
This goes on every night, and days when Aunty is away.
He rapes her and beats her, forcing her to stay.
You think you are safe
you think you are sound-
A place where many are not found
for what they want is not what they need-
but they search on in this unfamiliar place.
flooding with ignited thoughts
---you don't have to do this
tons of pressure push you to the ground
---please don't
stress is the leash that tightens its grip
---I will listen, I promise
Close your eyes,
Close your eyes and breathe.
This can’t be me,
This isn’t happening to me.
But it is.
And you can’t help it,
But what did you do?
Why you?
The weight is over bearing,
No one notices how you cry at night.
No one notices how your heart aches through the day.
No one notices your depression.
Rose soft petals,
Gently blowin' in the wind,
Whirling around my legs,
Pulling me forward into the end...
I walk softly and gracefully,
Leaving my heart to follow,
The wind caressing my hair,
Oh! Bringer of water, thou hast lost me!
Why must I cry for help that fades
Into a deeper abyss I flee
People say I'm happy, that I'm never without a smile.
I bet those people would be pretty surprised to find that I used to spend nights wishing to die.
There is a mask that every person fakes,
Have you ever had an absolutely horrible day? Not just a bad day, oh no, this is a kind of bad day that you remember for several years after it happens. This is a kind of day that makes you feel inferior to every little thing.
Only I knew, that I prevoked this / Theres no closure nor a farewell kiss / I had looked in to your worried eyes / Such an enchanting shade of blue / I decided against the easier lies / I whispered I couldn't ever love you / I never f
My mask
My hiding
My facade
This is what I keep from everyone
My happy face
My pesaceful grace
My ever-present humor
This is why they never knew
My hidden tears
Were all crying.
Were all crying becuase the daddi issues
and crying becuase the definition of beauty does not start with ourselves
and crying because our razors dont solve problems;
Maybe it was the way he held your hand, holding on like it would save him from his worst nightmares. Or was it the sound of his voice sleep deprived and full of despair calling you at 3 a.m. Just to Make sure you were still there.
I always thought nothing could ever hurt me,
I always thought I was unstoppable.
Until the day came..
When I lost my bestfriend..
I never thought death could heart..
It was all incredibly detailedHow he dove into her drained eyes,How he explored her dark and poignant soul;
Deep darkness held onto the fragile
heart
she carried within her chest-
unspent tears in her eyes
a mind that would never stop
but a brain that had died.
The slow beating of a broken soul
She died of a broken heart
falling asleep with the
sound of Love Love Love
in her ears.
She had no emotions left to give
She was done.
She was done-done-done, girl.
She was done.
There was once a girl
who had given so much
of her heart away
that one day,
after giving her last piece,
she fell asleep listening to
Bon Iver,
and doed of a broken and
missing heart.
Before I get as cold as stone,Before I finally die,Before I rest my weary bones,Please sing a lullaby.I've never heard one before;I don't know how they go,But 'fore I leave forevermore
Came in a text message I couldn't do nothing but stay still in silence thinking it's a joke
I felt used where the values of my heart didn't have no artificial price tag
Your tongue was too bitter for my senses
So I attached my lips to the hollows of your hipbones instead
And counted the number of breaths you took in the
spaces you once filled with "I love you"'s,
You would think someone with a disease would have problems in school such as socializing or generally fitting in. Growing up down south and moving to New York city was a huge change for me.
I see you looking at a old photo of me in the picture frame.
You began to cry and say my name.
You use to call me your little princess.
I remember when you and mom bought me that pink dress.
Everything was fine.
Some nights I sit in my room, thinking about every possible thing,
Doomed for nothing but sadness.
When I'm driving,
I think about my life, my regrets, what I forget,
But most importantly I think about you.
its 3 am again and it all really seems so familiar, the dark sky, the quiet house, the creeping memories of you, and the feeling of death and sorrow in my chest
Things like this don’t go away
The sadness builds as you try to be strong
Some days you can’t even get out of bed
You don’t tell the ones you love
If you do they get mad
Like it’s your fault you’re sad
You made me believe it was possible to trust another human being.
Of course the only reason why I've become so cynical of trust,
is simply because i've been broken by constant sorrow,
what am i doing with you
i know you cant hear me saying this
and i know you never will but
i cant tell the landscape from a back drop at the moment
the lines between reality and my mind are blurring
How could this have happened
I gave you everything
I opened myself up
Despite my fear of being exposed
Couldn't you see how scared I was
I was terrified to let anyone in
Sometimes I envy those
Those stick skinny creatures
Some call goddesses
Humans, not felines
Who walk the cat walk
They have two faces,
But one body
Click, flash, print
I don't quite understand
How someone can open doors
And slam them closed
Never wondering what their rooms held
I don't understand
How you can not have the curiosity
To run your fingers on the walls
My eyes can see like a hawk, my ears hear like a hound
I can see that there is no more us, I can hear this heart breaking sound
Couldn't see, couldn't hear, darkness was everywhere
Why did you leave? I needed you
More now than ever I'm so lost without the two of you
Remember when you would call me boo?
Some open book you were
So open, I could see the dotted lines on the pages you scribbled on
And everyone knew how to read but me
My funeral was empty, my gravestone was bare
The flowers that were meant for my mourning, were never there
One too many times, I swallowed away the pain
While all the time, you were buying my love
and I am still overdosing, choking on you endlessly
I watched you fall, limbs and sins
Sitting there watching all the pain you soaked in
Dancing on your heart, laughing at your words,
You may never know, why I am the way I am
or why I am so quiet at times, or maybe why I get angry so sudden
and you may never know why I am so rude
You told me not to cry when you were gone
I tried to hold back, but life became a waterfall
and just when I thought I was going to survive,
I envy those with amnesia
Wouldn't you if you need to forget the people who don't need ya?
I wish I could--I'd do anything for a memory pill
Overdose to forget those who didn't love you and never will
Standing in the front of the mirror, I hear someone murmur,
"The problem with bones
is that they are hidden beneath all my fat."
The real problem with bones
is that they have become symbols.
To see aint wat it seem
How to get over wats still in a dream
Close my eyes and there u are
But when i open them u are so far
The irony is u're right there
Over and over i say it aint fair
I walk around with a smile
Showing the world my happiness
while really I'm in plain
I look around at how happy others can be
I wonder if I just smile I'll be the same
Never once had I cried or frowned
The darkness is approaching
Its taking my mind, body, and soul
I can no longer function
Someone help me
Help me; before its to late
The darkness is spreading
I am becoming numb
You said to me, "I am Lost"
So I etched the constellations
in every freckled part of my skin,
so you would always know where you came from
when you traced your fingers across my hips.
Speak, shout, they must know
It happened behind a closed door.
Arrogance, mannish poison coursing through his veins,
Twenty minutes ago she came in but left.
When stuff goes to hell
Sometimes we just break away
Away from the world.
We all have problems
We all endure suffering
But we just can't leave.
Find your own anchor.
In death we find a calm, sweet pillow
A place to rest our weary head
Gone are the years of endless worry
Gone are the times of hopeless dread
This white palace knows no fear
They aren't just scars
They are demons
I fought at 00:00
They are my insecurities
My deepest fear
And my lonely nights
They are my insults
I have recieved and the
Emotion I can't contain
Fragments of memories come back in flashbacks as I lay in bed at night.
Pictures of happiness and hurt.
Joy and pain.
Love and loss.
The good and the bad.
As the years go by
She grows with the changes of life
Her simple worries and fears
Turning into grave strife
No longer a little girl
Believing in fairytales they would tell
Stuck in her mind
A growing voice inside my head; the essence of me.
You were my only nightmare, yet the only person I wanted to see.
I could not wait to meet you, for I never have before.
The struggles that seem to always fall, no matter whether they are BIG or small. Struggles always seems to find my way.
Papa, do you see me?
Scared little girl in the corner
I know you told me to smile
Not to cry or mourn or
Wish I could’ve done something
Made your pain go away
Found a cure faster
I've loved.
I've loved and lost.
But it's better to love then lost, rather than not loving at all.
Better to fall, and call for help rather than not try.
This woman told me that she would rather date a blind guy than to date me
Then I asked what does that mean
And she told me
Because he would be blind which means he can't see and I would know that he loves me
Woke Up with my legs open
and my mind crossed.
"Boys sure do like me"
"boys like me"
"like me"
"me"
Boys like to suck me dry.
my being, my spirit, my soul;
You cannot simply
tell me to get over someone I love.
It's not something that can be stopped all at once.
That's like telling the earth to stop
revolving the sun
I feel like I am drowning,
like I am suffercating under the
silence,
under the last breath I breathe
I feel. Unspoken words
I feel a wrath beyond my state
Whether to a walk with or without
I can't let go. I can't do so
The dark throughout the void
Fresh of the yawning morning
The wickedness overdrive of rays flowing
Blue skies darken with clouds
Shearing the long roads with eternity
I sat, I breathed I followed
She used to be beautiful.
The kind of beauty that
Really mattered-
A kind soul,
Self-worth found in every moment
And the courage to stand up for those who can’t defend themselves,
Little
Did I know
That
Though the
World
May seem
Bright and pretty,
It is a
Piece of
Blown glass-
Hollow
On the
Inside.
I started just like any other
clean and pure and a heart that was whole
Innocence started to fleet
learned to walk on my own two feet
Ain't it funny how life is always filled with pain
Take amounts that the body really can't sustain
You're so depressed, you question your own state of mind
Night after night my dreams felt so bright because she made me shine with all my light.
The illushen of the world around me is falling appart,
and now i see how cruel this world can really be.
How it tests you and takes away all purity,
nothing is really as it seems.
I'm not a strong as i apear,
I have seen the other side,
More than eight thousand miles away.
I have seen the other side,
And it's like nothing you've ever met before.
The streets are lined with ramshackle stores,
Many shaped who I am.
Many more shaped those who shaped me.
I hope with my words many will be shaped by me.
A spark in darkness created a universe that we all know.
You snatched the ladder from under my feet UNpurposely.
And didn't bother to stay and cover my exposed wounds.
I was never that girlI'll never be that girlI broke heartsnot the other way aroundI slid in and out of these poor boys lives like the devil in disguise
His mouth tasted like coffee and cigarettes,
and his mind,
his mind was like and overwhelming wave of beautiful thoughts,
that I was drowning in.
The odd thing was, I didn't want to swim up for air.
She was 15 when she left for good.
A one up for the death toll in the hood.
Mother tried to warn her that he was no good.
A fleeting moment became the end for her.
Your beauty was so hard to hide. I had no chance, yet I still tried. I had to let you know, and I thought I would explode. As I walked to you that day, I prayed you wouldn't run away, not before I could say...
We are trapped,
We are lost,
We need to get out,
But we do not know where we are,
We are slaves to the rich,
Lets get on the piss,
Lets charge the gates of gold,
Lets break te chains,
I cannot let me feel
To feel is to hurt
Hope turns black with each shedding tears
What once felt excitement is only filled with dread
I cannot escape this prison
I made for myself
And outside, life Is cold.
The trees are as bare as my bones are hollow,
and through the chains over my window
I can see the world outside-
Moving.
It's all still moving, without me.
Humans are so fragile
They must be taken care of.
But animals don't matter
Since they're never given love.
You begin to walk away
Like you did no harm.
The animals died today
People say rain is the crying of God, but I say different
I say the rain is the crying of humanity,
The emotions that are stored, but never released,
Daddy daddy
A little girls hero
Her very first crush
Been with her since zero
He'd rock her to sleep
And tickle her till she woke
But her daddy, he left her
Recovering from coke
And then it all began again
Her mind changing, slipping,
slipping into the dark abyss that is depression
Her thoughts became darker
The world became greyer
Making a statement, I'm now living in the present
But My past? made me stronger so i remember although it has passed
cloudy but after the rain there's a rainbow, sun shining at last
Why does it hurt so much when you were never truly mine?
Why did it feel like she stole you from me when you were never mine?
Why does it feel like she crushed my heart and threw when you were never mine?
This isn't a broken heart from a parted lover, not a poem about strangers.This isn't about some little fight, this is me, simply telling you, I'm alright.
The alarm sounds every morning at 4:30
I look outside but see nothing because it's still dark
As I prepare for another day at the job I loath
I question why I spend my precious time doing what I hate.
This time last year I would have hesitatedBut a lot has changed in the last twelve monthsAnd now I am becoming the person I once hated.
Home is a small place that somehow still has room for everyone.
Home is filled with strangers. Definition: Family you've yet to come to know.
i can feel his gaze on the back of my neck
his emotionless eyes burning holes through my back
i like to think he is filled with guilt and remorse that his daughter has given up on him
The silence screams through the noise
The blindness crawls through the images flashing by her eyes
The anger hides behind a mask of smiles
The tears stream but they can't be seen through the look of laughter upon her face
I sit in my room despondent and alone,
Hundreds of miles from the one I hold dear,
Missing her is the only thing that I've known,
And all that I want is for us to be near.
The world is a mystery,
Forever unclear,
An insolvable puzzle for everyone here,
Trying to forget their own history.
The skies can be dark,
Everyone scrambles trying to learn their part,
“Pretty as a princess”
That’s what they all say
Tuck you into bed with story time.
“Wish upon a star”
It was just a childhood dream
As you stare out the window at night
These are your hands and
This is how you tell the world you’re not all bad
These are your wrists, those are your scars,
This is your story
This is how you dodge the shattered glass around your feet
people tend prey on the weak ones
as much as they hate to confess.
Trembling, he sits and waits for the news.
Something terrible happened.
His mother had called him in the middle
Of a chemistry test,
His favorite class.
“Tyler,” she had said
“I need you, come home.”
Small Doll chips away,
Small Doll likes the fray,
Small Doll knows nothing,
But the sad decay,
It's weird being lonely,
All you see is the dark,
I just want one to hold my hand,
I don't care what they are,
Saffron, Peridot, Jonquil, Vermilion, Tenné
Crimson, Scarlet, Carnelian, Burgundy
Plum, Mauve, Catawba
Grey, Umber
White
Depression filled her mind completely,
With thoughts she did not wish to think,
Thoughts of the past, the pain, the suffering
Imprinted on her brain like ink.
The laughter in the distant
The sparkle in my eye
that day you never saw me
and I always wondered why
I looked for you all night,
but you never seemed to know
Tears roll down my cheek.
They wash over my dirty face like a flood in the desert,
Whisking away the filth and barrenness,
Revealing the rich brown underneath.
I'll explain, and I'll try not to weep as I speak.
But please listen, and don't ridicule me.
Things occur for a reason just like the transitions in every season.
The love I have for Him has sprouted up, and will not wilt.
The soft beat of the music
The lyrics so full of meaning
But only to few ears
Because to most music is nothing more than a set of vibrations
But there are a few who get it
Blind sighted, the lines they dance to pipers unanounced,
Lion's hiss, the spark and bounce, that'll traunce the transient,
Posting yesterdays warnings, a dustbowel gone, wiped out with the men and mice,
A life full of regret is the wrong attitude
The remorse, the emptiness, the solitude.
Dont crater, don't break
You are made to bend
Just continue to smile, my love to you I send
Eyes swollen with sorrow and unshed tears,
Burning for being open too long.
A body that weighs a thousand pounds,
Screaming in protest from running.
To the ocean rationalizes the mind,
Where were you
You called to give a time
You said you would be here by 9
Where were you
I was sitting drinking from my cup
Wonder if you still had me in mind
But where were you
our makeup grows thicker and thicker
as the love for ourselves wears thin
villing our voids left by heart ache and pain
with eyeliner and liquid skin.
You say this pain is my fault
that i put this gapeing hole in my chest
when all i tryed to do was set you free
from your monster inside
i put myself in harms way over and over again
i tryed to help
he takes all i have
and all he leaves behind
is my regret and sorrow that
has remained for quite some time
i fade to ashes in the wind
when his words singe away my pain
i hear your voice and i subconciously smile
and i feel your warm embrace around me as we softly giggle over the phone
"did someone just call your name?"
"no"
"oh. maybe it was my heart. maybe it needs you"
i hear your voice and i subconciously smile
and i feel your warm embrace around me as we softly giggle over the phone
"did someone just call your name?"
"no"
"oh. maybe it was my heart. maybe it needs you"
its not the usual kind of exhausted.
i dont feel heavy, like ten pound barbells are in my eye sockets
or like my blood is molten steel instead.
no, my arms are not limp and lifeless
Different.
That's what they say it will be.
Different is like how doctors say you will feel a little pressure,
when really it's pain.
Trembling they rise
Immersed in my grief
Ferrying my troubles with them
Dancing they fall
Catching the light
Diving down my cheek
Eyes bleed my miseries
Wrist bleeds my soul
You are my antidepressant.
I wake up, and drink you in.
Throughout the day you make me happy.
And when I’m feeling low you bring me back up again.
But I can’t have you all the time
this passion for you
melted into these meaningless words on a page no one will read
and the hours and minutes i spend bleeding these feelings and dead smiles
Did you see that? That, there.
That lady is staring at me.
She keeps looking over here.
Do I have a booger in my nose?
Is my receding hairline showing?
Twenty years old with a receding hairline.
So lost, still lookingWhere's the never found?I gaze with fixed eyesThis dark quest has me cemented My heart is dementedMy whole solution is buried Underneath the land of the hopeless
Let's be like kids in the movies,
making dreams in the backseat.
Let's be like adults on TV,
making love in taxis.
I can feel you
I know your here
I can feel you walking around
I can feel you cooking breakfast
Your presence makes me smile
Your presence makes me cry
I'm happy.
narcotics and razors
cannot block these bullets
that explode through my chest
every time i think of
our last kiss
Turn on the radio
Max out the volume
Do you love this song?
That song speaks to you
On a level no one can ever imagine
Not the whole song but
Just that one line the artists says
Can't sit back and wallow on a past mistake
But I can't fake the regret and anguish I feel when I look back on the past
Which is why I can't heal
I'm just human, I'm only a kid...
An Exit
Ashley Shea
A sign upon a door
Search for your red sign
Take your effortless way out
An escape from your despair
You take the worlds brutal hits
With each wound you quiver
Look at that cold damp bench
guess what ? that’s my home
A dagger to my heart
that led me to this
Hannah was late coming home this evening.
Traffic was slow and she had trouble leaving.
Work was hard and she hadn't any time
The struggle is intolerable
pain is inevitable
but yet i accept it
all of it
because I know thats the only thing I can feel
I've got walls around my heart of steel
she got hurt when she was 5 when she fell.
she was in her room alone,
pretending to be ruler of the skies
as she jumped off a cloud of comforters and pillows
onto a hard wooden floor where she slid and
Social Media
Facebook -
Making a page that will deliberately describe what I want to say.
what is there left to tell
anymore? I'm presenting my case to an empty room
filled with silence that illuminates my hurt.
Don't worry about it,
you're worthless to me now; you
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
why does she starve herself?
you're fat
those are just words
why does she hate what she sees in the mirror?
you're ugly
On the bed and on the bathroom counter
I lost track of time, maybe two hours?
I completely devoured the passion
you were incredibly lacking
and got a high of pure satisfaction
"so how was your day at school?"
"fine"every singe second i felt like shit and i wanted to come home and i wanted reliefe.
"everything good with friends?"
hes just misunderstood.
by day hes a rebel
ditching
black eyed
stoned
reckless
sitting back in his chair with his glasses on
hiding sleeping eyes
and the teachers say nothing
You see her laugh
but you never see when she cries
You see her jump
but you never see her fall
You see so little with those 'things' we call eyes
becasue as humans we have learned to disguise
You don’t know
Do you
What it’s like
Not to be loved
Not to have
What you
Take for granted:
A home.
What do you
Know about
Hunger and
Pain and
Why do I have to suffer?
I’ve done no wrong
Why can’t things get better?
This is not where I belong
Every day I have to deal with this
I’m tired of being trapped
When will life be bliss?
Why do I have to suffer?
I’ve done no wrong
Why can’t things get better?
This is not where I belong
Every day I have to deal with this
I’m tired of being trapped
When will life be bliss?
Gone gone gone away
ran ran ran away from here
away from here
darling i know you are afraid
but please please try to stay
stay here
your Childs right here and she says she said she loves you
I wonder
What it would be like
If I had a father
Who cared,
Loved,
Helped.
I wonder
What it would be like
To not have to fight
For steps,
Small,
Small
Steps.
We were not born fake
Our cries were real
So real like that pain we feel
the purity of our souls were turned inside out
dried right up like a bad droubt
who are we trying to impress?
She kept a tally of the bad days on her thighs and wrists.
She worried that maybe it wasn't normal to think of death so much.
To welcome the pain of the blade with a smile, a real one.
Pieces, broken pieces.
I am a puzzle piece, one that doesn't fit.
That feeling, burned down
Broken, can never be fixed.
Pick me up, move me around
Make me what you want.
Because I've been broken before.
Because trusting is none existant now.
Because you lied to me.
Because I jump to conclusions.
Because I'm weak.
Because I'm broken.
Because I've learned to know
i have no energy to stay awake
but no strength to drift to sleep
im just kindof sitting here
not living
but just existing
functioning as only a living human body
while my soul shrivles and turns
I always wish I would one day wake up
Wishing the last 10 years was a dream
Wishing this pain away
All the tears and scars gone
All my pain and sorrow
My heart was real again and not just a black hole
room spinning
eyes watering
cheeks flushing
lips quivering
heart burning
lungs ghasping
just an average night
alone in the dark
The job that would change my life is becoming a Veterinarian. I want to help animals and care for them. Ever since I was at the age of 9 and I got my first puppy for Christmas I knew I loved animals and wanted to help them in any way I can.
the first time i hated myself, i was 9 years old.
groups of soulless children followed me around the schoolyard
calling me diseased ridden, disgusting, fat...
the laughed as my tears splashed on the table at which i sat
Silly little girl, quit your dreaming
This world is not for you.
The tide is crashing in again,
The lies all scream they’re true
A walk along the beach..A whisper in the wind..Without these things, I could no longer pretend.A hike among the trees..A nap in a meadow..I'm never followedby your ominous shadow.
It had been only once.
She had been much younger.
Much more foolish.
Her heart desired him,
And, for a few short hours,
His heart wanted her.
The moment ended
And both went away.
Everyone gets sad, right?Then why am I sad more than anyone I’ve met?I guess it doesn’t matter.They don’t seem to think it does, so why should it?
While helping a student who
was struggling through lines of a poem
Sam was fixing the schoolhouse's roof
in exchange for jars of spiced peaches.
Don't judge those people,
They all have their own stories.
Why can't you hear them?
Look at their faces,
Are they sad beneath their smiles?
Listen to their thoughts.
Fighting, it's all that they can stand to do.
Crying silently, I ask myself why they constantly argue.
It is not my mother and father that argue; for that has long past
suddenly i am julted awake by that feeling. it strikes through me like lightning and thunders in my head and leaves a pouring storm of rain falling continuously from my storm cloud eyes.
Hey
I've been thinking
And I just wanted to say,
I know.
I know we're from different worlds
And I know we don't fit.
I know our paths have already been laid out and unfurled
He was born in a rodent-infested hut, amid the broken screams of an abused woman and the furious shouts of a drunken man; those sounds never faded.
He had been there all his life.
What makes me tick?
Where to even begin?
How can I reply when I can’t rely
On my own mind.
Exactly what kind
Of question requires a response to complex
It perplexes me, thoughts so convex
What If I was enough
For you to want to see my smile once more
What If I was enough
For you to come back through the door
It's not your dinner dates I miss
It's the way we smiled in between our kiss
Broken hearts are like broken glass
Hearts shine at a glimpse of light but...
Are going to shatter at the slightest crack
Like Cinderella's slipper, falling to the stone
Broken, with no one to pick up the pieces
Sorrow
The tears well up in my eyes,
One by one they fall,
This is the end
This is it.
I can feel the pain coming,
I was born
and I loved you
Who am I kidding?
I still love you
I know you, you you
They whispered through the slivers of light
as they passed the rattling big thing,
"You belong somewhere else,
Cool autumn day spent
Sun setting
Sick with regret.
Disintegrating will
In overwhelming quiet
Departure inevitable
Pressing together
Embracing the future, skeptical
Does it matter that these tears fall for you?
That they hit the floor and the page, but not your hand?
Does it bother you that you did this to me?
When will you pull me out of this quicksand,
Permanant marker X's
All across her mirror
She stands in the same spot
And looks at every error
Like a wrong answer
Like a failed assignment
But at least she won't have to look
one, two
start the day new
three, four
150 cals, no more
five, six
i dont need to be fixed
seven, eight
youre all too late
nine, ten
never wake again
A Life Never Lived
I hear them quarrel
About my life
So cold and immorel
Words like a knife
The truth is ungloved
I would kill for a pill that would make me feel,
So happy inside,
Fill me with pride and confidence,
If someone offered it to me,
I'd happily agree to take it with me,
Beauty came and beauty died,
the beauty of our love inside,
our hearts crying out with pain,
please take my pain away.
Let me feel the pain,
coming down like the rain,
the faggot in the reflection of my space helmet visor is my only friend.
with shaggy shorn hair and big eyes and a hollow cheek bone that holds in my silent tongue.
i have etched lessons in my skin, leaving silver lines
self inflicted pain
I'm pouring salt in my own wounds.
Stuck in the past;
time doesn't heal after all.
Thoughts in your mind
are constantly telling you
You're not good enought to weak,
Life of a bully oh how it must be
to have people cower all over your feet
Storming and raging, even the skies are afraid
of who ever would come across you and your rage
Tired eyes.
Please believe me.
My body aches.
Please release me.
Mind is numb.
Please leave me.
Hands are shaking.
Please forsake me.
Heart is pounding.
Please disown me.
We woke up in this place, shattered but alive,
The world is a monstrocity, we manage to survive.
Torn up children's faces and corrupted civil wars,
i am in titanium cuffs locked by my inner thoughts
im chained to a brick wall with chains crafted by my dark past
i am bundled and gagged with rags weaved from my own fear and doubt
and i have lost control.
the wind blew through my hair as cars below whizzed by. he held my hand and was looking in the same direction as i, out on the free way, mere feet away rom where we stood.
Sometimes, sometimes when I find…
That my voice is so tiny, so especially paltry.
I can’t help but think how reality seems so bleak.
It seems like nothing,
Not even a spark of
#1– O/S:
Your mismatched eyes are so beautiful.
– One of glowing umber, as bright as the fantasy of Neverland,
Everyday
Same time
Your front door creaks, did you notice?
Mine does, too.
10:30 AM, you walk out of your apartment-
The one right across the hall from mine-
And I make sure I walk out, too.
I haven't seen that beautiful smile
In quite awhile
It's almost been a year since you left
I still have some pictures of you
But it's not the same
I want to see in the flesh
Yelling at me 24/7,
complaining when you don't have your way,
calling me names when you feel like it,
think you're the king on the throne,
I wait until it's sucked in like helium.
not allowed to join. Dismissed.Into the fray, not todayAnd maybe somedaythey will see.But not today. questions unanswered, days go by
dewdrops of God's tears,
don't you feel sad?
wash away the mask on your face,
and release the truth within.
I said: I don't wan't to cry for my sins.
Please help me understand
Exactly how I'm the bad guy
'Cause right now the one thing I've done wrong was say "yes" to him
But you
Well that's a whole 'nother story
You let me fall for you
To all those who came after
I'm sorry
It's not my fault
Blame the first
For she took the piece of me
That I wish so badly I could give to you
Tap Tap wait Tap
Looking for connection
Looking for something that can't be found
Hoping this time it will be there
But it's not
Hold Tap
Tap Tap Wait Tap
It’s 1:58am and my thoughts are of you.
Whilst the rain falls heavily,
I imagine the feel of your hot breath on my neck,
I can taste it
no feel it
the warm, crimson colored liquid as it seeped out of my flesh
ahhh FRESH
but as the darkness devours me all I can
think of,
see,
is
you.....
'round she goes like a carousel/
she was nothing
(and nothing was her)
she was engulfed
(in an iron grip)
monday to sunday
twitching and waiting
(for something to snap)
Is it the crickets' chirp
after the whole world has quieted
That fills my heart with emptiness?
Or is it the nights spent alone
Under these cold covers?
Perhaps its the memories of once
Belonging
One time, i wrote a poem
On a piece of paper with
No lines.
And i cried,
Smudging all the little letters.
The ants drowned by
Saltwater.
They thrashed and thrashed and thrashed,
For about an hour or so
I sat there in the shower
With the water turned up to fire.
I let the water douse me in its flames
Until my skin burned red.
I gave myself permission to cry,
Yet no tears came.
I want to run away to some place beautiful
Where the birds are singing
And the trees are dancing.
I want to run away to some place quiet
Where the savage thoughts of my mind run silent
Sick.
Sick of pulling that mask on again today.
Sick of playing the part of the girl they expect to see.
Tired.
Tired of trying so hard to find the right way.
Stop the silent killing,
everyday thousands are dead.
Mass genocide,
no one even cares.
Spirits are unsettled,
lying in purgatory.
Some mothers are left unwell,
others take it as "oh well".
I miss you, I really do.
You ask what I would change about things in my life, today. Why does the world listen to the media and accept what they say? Why doesn’t internal beauty matter to us more than external looks?
If you have no intention of loving me
Then let me be.
For I am tired and sad and broken
And need no contributions.
Shaky as a fawn,
I am learning to stand
But empty promises and tender words
fading with age
brownign, blurring
suffering every day
but continues stirring
mindlessly lingering
mythodically fingering
blades of a razor
and quaint gassoline flame.
I drove past your grave today,
I felt you wave to me.
Your laughter filled my thoughts,
I almost veered off the road...
Maybe because I remembered,
When we used to be alone,
Growing Up.
It’s your first day of Pre K.
Your mom picks out your outfit and walks you to the bus
You meet your next door neighbor
I thought
I was ready for heart break
when I was seven years old
and the most important man in my life
Waking up every morning to the same tune
Thinking about leaving this place from morn till noon
Stumbling out of bed thinking of who to impress
When I look
at their faces,
Drenched in perfection,
When I flip the pages,
I look into their eyes,
like they're masked in disguise,
they look so ideal,
This cannot be real,
The people squirming
Through each other
Sprinting
Pacing
Chuckling
Weeping
Briefcases in hand
Lunging
For the office
Laptops
Cellphones
Watches
Files
they found he razor in the shower today
because i forgot to take it out.
thye looked at me with dissipointed eyes today
but ppretentded they knew nothing about.
they heard me gagging in the bathroom today
Lonely face while he walks the streetWater from my eyes like sea salt-laden galesThe last they heard from him was a tweetAll she wanted was to hear a taleThe Moon was bright as a lamp-post
What is left to say,
you're gone by night,
nowhere in sight by day
It almost felt like a nightmare come true,
so alone the most when i needed you,
Inside of me i felt dead,
how could you hurt
something so defenseless
how could you not love
something so innocent
shame on you, just shame on you
a life that hurts an animal is less than a life to me
By: Anyssa Q. E
Oh the happy day,
The 'morning star' spawed,
'Mommy's sweet love, you'll never leave my arms'
Welcome to Hell, Welcome Home!
The buzzing of bees,
The raw smell of honey,
The dark rich taste of chocolate.
A glance and a smile
When I was eleven, I knew what I was going to do and how I was going to get there.
I wrote because the world looked better through my eyes.
A sadness so deep
A darkness so sad
nothing, no one, anyone
you can never
you will never
Touch your knees with your nose
Hide, from it all
World fading
Is it truly fun?
To see them writhe in pain
Your an awfully sick bastard
What have you to gain?
If i hurt you as you did to them
Would you still be smiling
And decide that it's okay
I no longer like to look back,
feels like broken bones
and broken glass,
tastes like the final hit
when the remains are ash,
smells like old books,
rotting houses and burning cash.
i bring home a warm soul
a bouncing tail
a warm tongue
what a gift
its nature is wild
it runs with delight
happy panting
what a gift
it misbehaves
Your face is soft and sullen,
gashes pouring on your face,
bruises painted on your eyelids,
and I think you may be dying
Your eyes are so wide,
so green,
i do not like to feel
the emotions take over
leaving me broken and vulnerable
it's hard to deal
feeling hopeless
feeling alone
that's why i've cornere myself off in this fortress
The words light up, emblazoned on her face.
As she walks a lonely path, the only one she's ever known.
She wonders if she will ever see the light,
ever get the chance to stand.
Water raced down my window paneAnd all I envisioned was the partitionStemming from the trunk of a treeIt was solemn and it was poignant
Released to the hounds,
my fear has come.
Running away,
the time is now,
to find completion.
I'll lose my mind.
The end is near.
I give up.
Your words caved into my heart
Collapsed my chest
You stunned me with your lips
And I woke up in a crypt
It’s dark in this grave that you put me in,
And I wonder how deep you buried me
The traffic sounded like the sea, always moving,
never changing.
The sun's rays grew intense, burning the skin,
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Theres noone in this world,
Id rather be with than you,
Counting the petals,
I love you, i love you not,
Counting and counting,
Connecting the dots,
The man I love is back home
Guys are plentiful around here
I can have them all I want
But they’re not him
Alone is one of the worst things to be
When all you feel
Is tired and empty.
You can cry
You can weep.
You can shut off the light
And beg for sleep.
But it won’t come
And you’ll still be
Tricked into traps,
Locked in cages,
Thrown like trash off the tops of trucks.
Scared, alone and helpless,
They wait.
They wait for their turn to be violently tortured,
I'm not sure what is worse
falling out of love
or realizing that there's nothing left
I wouldn't wish it on anyone,
no not even my worst
theres too much involved to
easily forget
You let others break you And they watch you fall
Do you even try to fight?
To speak up at all?
Or have you been silenced?
By the mocking
And the pain
When they knock you down again
Would you do it?
Kill a friend?
If you killed a child,
Would it end?
An elderly man
Wheelchair bound,
Would you knock him
To the ground?
What of a dog
Battered and beaten?
Ba-bum…Ba-bum
The core
Of my inspirations
Beats
As it demands
To escape its
Cave
Yet it loves
Me
It loves the
Hollow
Box
Wrapped in
Silky, smooth
her firey eyes burn her pain
and use it life coal to fuel her hate
gaze into them, you will reviel
the ache she will forever feel
make way for her tears and her regret
shes thought it up, her mind is set
aviator shades
cookie cutter heartbreaks
petty girls
pretty girls and
superficial fakes.
I've been tring to figure out
what it is that makes
their worlds go round
I light a cigarette again
staring at your pillow where you're supposed to be sleeping
instead you're gone and smoke surrounds me
i'm breathing.
I know, I know that I'm never right
you told me.
I feel broken down
everytime he comes around
in my mind is a trainwreck
you love me, i dont give a shit.
I feel the arguments
seeping through
into everything that i do
im breaking.
listen to me
crumbling like stones.
i'm falling.
through the cracks,
i dont wanna be alone.
Chills
Reaching deep within my soul they breed
Multiplying, festering
Unable to stop them, unable to take control
I retreat, trying to preserve the little sanity left
The floodgates within her are opened
Water gushes from behind her walls,
Stampeding like a herd of wild beasts to release the tension within.
She was wild,
Without a care in the world.
She ran shoe-less
Through an amusement park.
Went on all the rides
That were beyond her thrill.
She caught him looking
Through the window of the food lane
The words I see transparent,
I want to believe them
but yet I know there outcome.
As a plastic bottle,
these words you speak,
I've heard them all before.
These recycled words
Everywhere I turn silence greets me
If there is one thing I yearn for it is a face
Something other than the embrace
Of solace, because her mockery is deafening
Her eyes have sprung leaks
bitter rain, acid rain,
flushed out through the
pitched eaves of her face
as she whispers to herself,
her voice a dismal crack,
I need to get better
I HAVE to get better
but why?
I need to get better for my sister
for my mom
for my dad
My life was like a kaleidoscope.
My hand gripped your's as we walked through the art fair that late May day.
Together.
Just like the pieces of the kaleidoscope.
We inherited our fathers hatred
letting his words tattoo into our brains
and flow onto our tongues
every time we were bombarded with something new
these words fell from our lips
Recently I met a friend
Ana was her name
She introduced me to another, mia,
The two, almost the same.
They told me of the perfect girl
Put pictures in my head
I thought it was a thing but it was just a fling,truely it was games played by a player. Thought I made myself clear about trust being dear.
Stop! Drop! And Roll! No, that doesn't work for me. I drop, bundle and fall as other start to kick me.Their shoes scratch my head and leave marks on my arms. I dress myelf in long sleeves so that no one can see my harms.
My greatest fear was to drown.
To have my lungs full of water
Simultaneously, living and dying
Until I realized, I'm drowning myself.
Sorrow after sorrow take over my body
She liked control.
Because as long as she was in control.
She could determine what happens.
So she would push people away
And soon enough she only had herself.
Do not go, please stay with me
Do not leave, come take my hand;
Your mind and body drift away, you leave me here with no where to stay.
Just stay here, come and see
Banging machinery and grinding gears
You find yourself among your peers
Foreign yelling fills the air
Absolutely unaware
Of what this place has in store
The week before you left
You bought a pack of eight sub rolls
Like you thought you’d be able to eat eight sandwiches before you got tired of me
But you only managed to have five of them
And now
He’s got the kind of name that sounds good no matter what you pair it with
He’s got the kind of fingertips that are maybe a little too soft
If you really cared you'd wonder: where'd I been? How I was doing? Just what the hell happened that I dropped off the side of the earth?
It's kind of like you're free falling with no parachute
Your body feels weightless and you're floating
You feel the wind rushing as you're diving towards earth
But at the same time, time sort of stops
nothing is quite as painful as invisible is.
walking through the crowded hallways of a dysfunctional high school
Wanting to cry but having no tears
Wantint to scream but pride's held to dear
This strenght is found in hard-hearted men
Who hide it inside and don't show the truth
In kindergarten they start teaching you about lines, you learn how a horizontal line is like the horizon,
Walking on a thin line
Passing the warning sign
Where did I go wrong
On this road so long?
Walking down this cold road
With a tired and lonely soul
Oh, when did it come to this
A notebook of poemsJust for youMy heart on this paperIs all I can do.You said I had a face too beautiful to forgetBut now you loo at me with a face of regret.
One day
when we were young
Owen asked me,
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
“I want to be an astronaut.
It’d be so cool to go into outer space
We all walk down the halls
Some in groups some not at all
Traces of nervousness cover the walls
There are failures, and the winners come out tall
Because life has no second chance usually not at all.
Some wear nooses like necklaces
tied tightly with the words of those with hollowed out hearts
Some experience sleepless nights filled with the empty promises of brighter days
but fear remains that nothing will change.
I wasn't exactly fine before you came.But I was still okayand you were youjust a friend of a friend.Then our hands brushedand my cheeks set a flame.
A familiar numbness
creeps over my soul.
I feel nothing.
But at the same time,
I feel everything.
I feel the weight of guilt,
the pain of losing a friend,
Every abuse is not a physical pillUnless you’re unwise and unskilledThese tones stone the insidesOf happiness and eventually toss youTo shame and leave you fearing any game
When you look in the mirror what do you see?
I see brown eyes that tell a story,
A story that speaks all on its own,
A story that is not very well-known,
My reflection is a face with countless flaws,
Love is a question mark that hangs above my head,
It is like a butterfly that takes the risk of being dead,
Love can be the root to many other emotions,
Like despair which is as treacherous as all of the oceans.
I look in the mirror
My smile fades
Disgust overwhelms me
As I go through each day
Why am I living?
Why am I here?
Just to disappoint
Living with fear
I'm never good enough
Hillary the Ohpeliac,
The girl with a beautiful soul
She’s into self-destruction,
I’m fascinated by this role.
She looks at skinny as a flaw
I can’t even see why
Beauty comes in all forms
We're here again
Two sides of the playing field
No longer able to feel your warmth
Just left to wallow in my memories
I can't say I’m surprised
Always knew it would happen
But it hurts
Some days there are people and moments that you just really miss. My indententation for my poems don't work so you'll just have to read it in paragraph style. What is it that you really miss?
I'm loosing you each and everyday,
little by little, you're fading away.
I feel you leaving me.
You think I'm okay with that, I see.
Mom, Dad, I want to become a doctor.
Doctor-A person trained to heal sick people
People who need help or aid in some form
Form a plan to take the world by storm
Storms are temporary, they eventually go away
It seems as though
Every time our eyes cross skies,
Our distance dies,
And the tension flies
We're back at square one
Where
I'm looking in your eyes
Deciding if they're lies
gleaming in the fluorescent light,
brighter than the moon against a pitch-dark sky,
breath catches, it’s beauty unforetold.
not everything in the lost and found has been discarded.
Black atmosphere, purple park on fire
my flesh desired
Black spiked hair with a bruised face
stepping, grass crunching, heart race
When I was young I thought my home was great
When I was ten he hit me I swore it would never happen again
When I was 15 I left my perfect home with perfectly broken bones
When I was 18 I shut the door and never came back
When I come to the end of my journey
And I travel my last weary mile
Just forget if you can, that I ever frowned,
And remember only the smile.
Forget unkind words I have spoken;
I feel it, I sense it. It targets all my veins and reactions. My heart stops for a while and I can't breathe. I suddenly start to drop and watch as the Sun eclipse before my eyes. This is my pain. Can you feel it too ?
A gnarled hand grabs my sleeve.
Lightly, hesitantly, but desperately.
I'm pulled to look;
Forced to see what I've been avoiding.
A woman looks up at me,
With ribs showing through the worn clothes
Bro, you can’t fly
You don’t even have wings
I’m not saying give up
But please, PLEASE
Stop jumping off of buildings
This is not an action movie
No. You can’t call “Cut”
He called her ugly.
He believes she is ugly.
He hurts her.
He is ugly.
She is beautiful.
She is strong.
She loved him.
He is ugly.
It’s hard to be happy when life is so sad.
It’s hard to be glad when everyone’s mad.
It’s hard to love when there’s no one to trust.
A daddy wakes up, puts his work boots on
heads out the door before escaping a yawn
his hands are stained black from the grease of the day
breaking his back and again, just to get that pay
Today I'll wear my happy mask, because I'm feeling sad
And I've worn out my tired mask, from the weeks that I've been mad
At my friend who wears his loving mask, when he looks at her,
I will not
I will not
These words repeat in my head
Over and over and over
I will not cry
Not in front of you I must be strong
Because if I’m not strong then who will be
Something told me to take a walk.
I listened.
I grabbed the dog and out we went
Down to the woods where the wild things live.
My pulse began to race
Like a horse out of the gate
Then my muscles began to clench
Like a wrench on a nail
My fingers have froze the tips are bleeding a gentle stream of flowing red blood. Everything I love is slowly fading away or frozen in time within my mind.
Pettiness is all I can say
What goes on at school day after day
He says this She says that
Numb, so numb
My heart breaking into so many
tiny pieces would not
affect me in the slightest.
so numb
a paper cut is less than a scratch.
num, absolutely so.
Peer into my eyes,
really, look,
What do you see?
compassion you say
Are you sure? Is it sincere?
No? I thought not.
Care to try again?
empathy you say
Poor Kids in Bangladesh
Poor kids in Bangladesh;
sweat, tears, heat, fears.
Poor kids in Bangladesh.
I lift my ears, lift my eyes
Look up to the cloudy sky
Rain falls, soaking me
people hold their noses
Why can't someone embrace me
For who I am
For who I will be
I want to help
I lift my ears, lift my eyes
Look up to the cloudy sky
Rain falls, soaking me
people hold their noses
Why can't someone embrace me
For who I am
For who I will be
I want to help
Falling down, falling down
And then those words saved me.
When I was at home and all alone
I looked for an escape
So I'd hide and wait, I'd hide and wait
And then your voice saved me.
Kiss me
Hug me
Tell me you love me
Where ever you are,
Keep thinking of me.
Feel me
Touch me
Tell me you want me
Drive me crazy,
Touching me softly.
Your hair
I dream,
One day you would want me.
One day you would notice me.
One day you would forget work.
One day you would write me.
One day you would study me.
One day you would intice me,
Where have you gone ?
Its been way to long .
A nightmare come true.
Everyday we search for you.
We pray that you are safe.
Only thing we want is to see your smiling face.
Mama, where are you?
I need you
to tie my shoes,
to help with homework,
to shop for clothes.
Mama, where are you?
I love you
because you hold me tight,
because you smile and laugh,
Taylor
Talkative, weird, funny, cuddlier
Daughter of Jim and Tammy
Lover of Chinese, Pizza, Animals, and German Shepherds
Who feels happy around animals, and at Warped Tour
Sad at Funerals
The Pit Bull friend or foe
Mans best friend or no?
Bread a killer or a devoted companion.
The gentle giant to some,
A murderer to most.
Powerful, Intimidating, caring all so true,
It doesn't matter what you say,
It doesn't matter what you call me,
I will continue on.
You can't control me,
and I don't need you,
I will continue on.
You're through with me?
As I look at these seven stories,
it’s difficult not to cry.
These poor animals are beaten,
abused, and left to die.
Students in Vegas cut of the head
of a bird, exotic and rare.
I am the one who fought for you
Because it’s what you asked.
I am the one who would have died for you
If to me that is what you tasked.
Filthy hands shine in the light of the beautiful pain.
Glistening in the promise sin offers to gratify the mind’s desires.
Relief from the pain in frozen blood cries out.
Trembling.
They think I'm happy
But that's a lie
A whirl of emotions trapped inside
I have weak walls and when they're struck
Sometimes I shed a tear.
Or two.
Or three.
We have feelings too, sir.
I'm sorry for whatever I did.
I promise, it won't happen again, sir.
Why must you do this to a being much less powerful than you.
I limp, I bleed, I cry, because of you, sir.
To hear, if only I could hear. To hear those words so soft and fruitful. To hears suchwords when I am youthful. Time goes by and so does this rhyme, but riddle me this,
What a fool she was
In believing in him
In believing his words
In believing in this
A fool indeed!
Not aware of the tricks
The games he played
Her heart at risk
A fool I say!
My body aches with pain.
Fear flowing through my xylem as I'm rooted to the floor a Charlie Brown tree in the midst of a forest of strong pine.
Everyday I come home crying.
Everyday I hate myself a little more.
Everyday I hope to die.
Everyday my limits are pushed.
Everyday I am laughed at, taunted, and abused.
Everyday I hope I don't wake up.
You think of me day and night,
To you I am perfect,
You see nothing but me.
But I see you in a different light,
I see now who you truly are,
I can see your uncultivated soul.
School is a place of study
This is the biggest lie
As soon as you enter the doors
You cannot help but cry
Constant revenge for nothing you may have done
i don't matter
like a snowflake
every one
different and beautiful
all in their own way
yet all the same
as they flowly fall
into reality
no one notices
they fill the world
I do not have nine lives
My wounds take time to heal
They hurt and I have no pain medicine
When I am abused, how do you think I feel?
I do not shed human tears
But I do make noise from the pain
It'll just be a Tuesday.A Tuesday, normal to most.Just another day on the calendar. It'll be just another day of the week.
I realize it is this skin!
For some unspoken words it is this skin
Does it bare a mark of ancestral sin?
How when they built this country on their bakcs and tears and blood.
My heart is very sensitive.
It deserves to take a rest,
Once in a while.
You break, you buy it.
But then remember to also fix it.
I'm trapped
Inside my body.
I don't belong
Here.
Nobody wants me.
Here
Nobody understands me.
Here
I need an escape from.
Here
I'm trapped inside my body.
Kindly turn and walk away,
Abandoned thoughts have gone astray.
Images allude feelings once had,
Timid eyes have now gone bad.
Looming clouds that hang overhead,
Yerk the soul about things unsaid.
Tears fall down my face,
And I try harder to push them all out.
Tears fall down my face,
And my eyes won’t stop squinting.
You don’t understand.
You don’t try to.
You don’t want to.
You can’t.
You won’t.
Why should you?
What am I?
An experiment?
Or shall I say a daughter?
Do you know that feeling where you feel replaced?
When the person you laughed with every day
When the person you cried with every day
When the person you talked with every day
Just disappears out of your life.
Cry.
Cry until your head hurts.
Cry until no more tears come out.
Cry until your heart can’t take it anymore.
Cry for release.
Cry for your soul.
Cry it all out.
Cry for pleasure.
You say you're fine
I know you're not
You say you don't cry
I know you do
You act as if you aren't sad
everyone knows you are.
I didn't do this to hurt you.
I didn't do this to cause you pain.
Love that was thought to be everlasting,
Breaking right down the seam.
Days keep on passing
While life still feels like a dream.
The lovers that thought love was true,
Slice
drip
slice
drop
a pattern i wont soon repeat
something inside me changed one day, my thoughts held a fog over them.
It made it diffulct to see
slice
drip
slice
Their legends are not like yours. A true story never to be told, Of the gore behind those closed doors.
Poem: yet and still
•In one piece yet broken
•Showing a smile yet crying inside
•In a room full of people yet so alone
•I speak yet no one hears me
• Laughing and joking yet so quiet and empty inside
There she goes, falling
Down into the unconquerable abyss
Lost inside herself
There’s no escaping
The terrible monsters that live in her soul
They lurk in the looming blackness
Eleven years ago it happened
I tried my best to shun it
sitting in the church, 6 years old i wondered who done it
Cancer was the cause
but some how i thought it was mine
Who knew their will be an us in we
Who knew we will make it from thick and thin
Who knew we had white lies
Who knew we had tough times
Who knew we would forgive and forget
“Mirror, mirror on my wall
Who is fairest of them all?
I know it not to be me
With how I look, how could it be?
I am not thin or sweet or smart.
I do not look like a piece of art.
Pantoum: Orphan Wishes
1 She wished she knew who her parents were.
2 She knew only of those in the orphanage.
3 But their souls could not fill up her gap.
You are my inspiration.Let these words hit you hard.Harder than any truth revealedin the lyrics that run through your head.I cared for you - that's as simple as it gets.I overcompensated for something
Why am I always the one to get hurt?Does pain have no compassion?Let the fierceness of the stormCalm downCause the waves keep pushing meAway from life and reality
Birth control.
In school they teach you,
Birth control,
No condom, no baby,
But maybe an std or HIV.
We are young, we are naive.
We are virgins, who want a bad boy.
We come from troubled wombs , our homes resemble tombs.
We come from polluted souls , our livess resemble holes.
Empty and devalued , longing for the close.
Locked inside my skin
When no one understands
All that hate and sorrow
Fill my dying bones again
……………………………………………..
Loneliness
A dark pit of despair
Endless and dark
Twisting spirals of madness
Where despair becomes a physical pain
Unto the heart
A quiet solitude
A certain empty silence
She was beautiful once. She was feisty once. She could ride a Harley, choke a stogie and found herself as a fine woman of the 50’s.
(I wake up feeling) the numb that
accompanies that white pill
(that) killer of (pain,)
I took last night.
I feel the loneliness
I don't know whether it's pain or pleasure
but it hurts
But it hurts
so exquisitely
There's something wrapped too tight around me
and i can't breathe
but it hurts
So I pull it closer
Seven, it was seven years when we first met
Your hair so perfect & eyes so blue,
The way you played the trumpet
With that sweet smile oh so true,
Cheer for everyone.
Although, no one cheers for you,
Cheer for everyone
Looking in the mirror I see a girl...
I'm watching her scream
I'm rewinding her dreams
I'm watching her cry
I'm practically watching her die
I sit back and watch as she tries to wipe the tears from her eyes.
Rest in peace grandma Joanne,
You'll be remembered by every woman and man.
You painted your past and your dreams,
You sewed quilts at their seams,
You helped the poor and healed the sick,
I've been blessed.
Parents willing to live poorly if that means an education for me.
Parents willing to brush toilets if that means an education for me.
Yet, you, the one with the PhD, can't provide.
My future is decided.
My skin color defines it.
My skin color is it.
This is what I am told,
An "invisible" label I have to bear.
A pathway guides me to what I have to be.
paradoxically invigorated
sleeveless in bitter arid wind
mummified autumn leaves trampled underfoot
sigh in relief, sinuses desiccated by the soured air
the roar of eighteen-wheelers
the hum of dying cicadas
You stand up there, teaching us this crap
How will it apply and when will I use that
can’t I pick my own classes? Go to class when I want
Whys the government control us, I wish I could change that
Take a second to breathe, to listen.
To hear the laughing and the whispering.
I get it, we all do, it's old news.
I'm gay, yes it's true.
Yet you don't understand, acting rude and all whack.
I try my best to hide it fom everyone,
I tried to tell someone,
anyone.
No one believes me,
They push me away,
They do not want to hear it.
I continue to cut,
My heart beats fastAs the tears cascade downStaining my paperWith utter disappointmentFrom shattered hope.
We know you can see them.
Your eyes on your desk,
your pen in your hand,
your lips glued together,
and your eyes defiantly shut,
We know you can see them.
They are the quiet ones,
the loud ones,
Liar, Liar pants on fire
“Mama,” her body began to spark more and more with each step
“I’m going to Emily’s house,” her eyes began to glow hungry for fuel
Competition in this generation marks the determination of
H.I.P.H.O.P
We will be those who carry insanity
It all happened so fast.
A beat of my heart.
A stroke of my soul.
I looked down,
Eyes closed.
I sucked in a breath,
Lungs filled.
You were my friendand youTossed me asidelike an empty glass bottle,you used up what you could.
Red,
The colour you bleed
As you pour your heart
To the stranger on the bus.
Red,
The colour you bleed
As you pace back and forth
in your bedroom
Contemplating
When she looks at him she gets a chill through her spine because, the man she calls dad has raped her a million times and the one she calls mom nowhere in sight becasue, she's sleeping with a hundred men just in that night, blood here and blood th
I hold a small, pink eraser in my hand
I carefully bring the ends of the eraser toward each other
Watching the middle of it stretch
To make ends meet
A shiny lock
Numbers written around the edge in a circle
I watch as it turns
Back and forth
The numbers blend together
Amd I get confused and lost
No longer sure how to unlock it
I ripped up a picture
I drew for you,
That hung on my wall
For a couple of years.
And which you were
probably hoping to
receive one day,
but never will.
Forgive me
Kill me or call me here.Set me free or hold me down.Give me a place here or kill me there.Love me or hate me.
So will you please...
Talk to me, please
Put my mind at ease
You claim to lack the time of day
But we both know those are mere words astray
I yearn to know; what is it really?
I'm eager to ask, but is it silly?
The briny breathes of the Humber welcomed my parents to the its shores,
and left their cheeks flushed along with their hair unkempt.
Where it Lies
And here in this poem is where it lies
With hope and longing torn apart
My pain and torture shown through my demise
A dream is supposed to be love and keen
but a dream deferred can prevent even the craziest dream
Will you let color, age or sex defer your dream?
or will you trust, believe, love and achieve,
Running
Running
FUNNING running
Funneling grape soda and cranberry juice through a lemon squeezer
Why not?
It’s all pointless anyway.
Birds fall out of the sky like
His muscular shoulders were hunched over, head bowed, and hands tightly clasped together.
When we walked the face of Earth,
Wasn’t the world a happy one?
A collection of blessings made up our very lives,
And in the blinks of weary eyes,
We were gone.
Now as I peer into the past
A word that many kids seem to take advantage of
Who really knows the meaning of love?
Teens are too naive to realize the main truth
Guys don’t understand the meaning, we aren’t sleuths
walking out in the after glowthrown about in the drunk beyond,looking for my wandering doglaid out upon the ground.
battle scars black and bluescratched up knees -all for you,that fence post did me in.
I'm completely amazed
I mean how could i forget your warm touch, your deep enchanting gaze
How we would would talk for hours and never get tired
The way we were meant for each other
Like we were wired
It's happening again.The same old phone calls at nearly 4am.Wondering if I should even pick up,Its pretty obvious what you want-You only tell me you love me after 2am.Once everyones gone and the liqour sets in. You dialate in the darkness,wander b
I walk into the class, Room nine
and all I see are boys behinds
I wish they would take school more serious
cause what they're doing is delerious
Sweet little baby,
Rest in peace ,
in the arms,
of the lord,
they say,
never question,
the masters decisions,
I can't help,
not to wonder,
why mine,
Prostitues,
When my Great Grandmother was near death in the hospital
I was curious to see what an old person's butt looks like,
so I kept standing on my tippie toes to catch a see
I suddenly realized
(at five years old)
Death applies to me too
That children become grown-ups
who become grandmas
who were the ones who died
And I was a children.
looking in the mirror,
I can see what I'm not.
I see what I don't have,
and not what I've got.
but she's so much skinner,
is something I say.
or she's really pretty,
and I'm not that way.
The pain I always hide,
I just keep it bundled up,
I wont let it show,
I wont take much more,
But I can not let him go,
And all these things I say,
Im just lying here,
soft fur
fat cat
from twenty pounds
to ten
at twelve years old
and still a fat cat
in my mind
with baggy skin
who can't eat
and softer fur
protuding bones
watery eyes
You are supposed to be here,
You are supposed to care,
Not just sitting there watching tear after tear,
You are supposed to help, your supposed to mend,
Your supposed to be my very best friend.
I grow older,
I avert my gaze
contemplative and serene
we think the same thoughts
memories come crashing back
fake civility in hand.
People say show your spirit
I say hold your glory.
However, nobody listens.
They say lets fight,
I say hold your ground.
However, nobody listens.
Now look what happened.
Drama, Action, Stop, and Cry.
That what goes through my mind.
Drama, Action, Stop, and Cry.
That what I feel like in the inside.
Drama, Action, Stop, and Cry.
Crying is a weakness it eats you alive.
Everyday I'm trying to move on
Memories with you keeps haunting me
Peace, when will it come?
To the day when I can forget
You were my everything
So much for your pretty lies
The day is bright but there is no lightYou wonder how this could beIf you were meYou could surely seeThe beauty infront of me
Another night in sorrow,
In pain.
Fighting, yelling, and arguing,
Seems like it never ends.
The simplest things seems like they become more complex.
Tension grows.
Love dozes off, disappears,
I bet you don’t know that I actually like the way you teach
With those little side stories you tell
I’d like to meet your many cats
And maybe even that husband of yours
I also like those worksheets
Why must happiness be so hard but grief and hatred so great?
Why must we learn or except our fate
I feel like crying, I feel like dyeing
Nothing –
Seeing clear as day
In the suffocating black of night
But cringing with confusion
When the sun sheds its light
Knowing there’s an answer
Not caring if it’s found
You’ve looped yourself around me
You’ve laced yourself through me
You’ve tied your knot inside me
You’re tangled up about me
You refuse to let me go.
Tiny steps at first,
Lost, Unsure,
You never know where you're going until you've already gotten there.
One step, Two,
You see the world in bright colors.
Running, Laughing.
I can’t sleep. During the day I’m tired. At night I’m awake,
I’m not hungry, I just want to drink.
I don’t have money. I want to be alone.
Kids are steadily drooping out of school
Selling drug, hang in gangs becuase they think it's kind of cool
The list of the problems that are wrong with America
Will have these kids rolling off into hysteria
Understand, this is not right.Listen, hear me warn you.This is not a fair fight.You will fail, win, lose.
Take my hand again.It misses you, so much.It's lonely here withoutyou to share my tea.There's nothing to see.
Those eyes blazed
Jaws wide with rage
Looming so large above me
All I wanted was to play
Teeth through flesh
Warm red water covers me
All is fear
All I wanted was to play
Have you ever had a moment where you kinda just think
This isn't where I'm supposed to be
And you're just not where you want to be.
My close friend Luis decided to drive around in his motorcycle.
Luis was innocent, he just wanted to drive around...
So happy to be driving, the wind hitting his face, ignoring everyone.
Death is her wish
and life is her bliss.
There are cuts on her wrist
because she can't hide the pain.
The only trace
of words filled with hate
are those wounds on her skin.
they criticize at me.
saying I am lazy and don't deserve to have
a second chance.
"you should have done the work I assigned"
but they're not there for when the fights get too much
I wonder what made me this way, to who I am today
Because when I'm looking at old pictures
of me, I seemed so happy, I see how my brown eyes
were full of this sparkle and I wonder to death
Crumbling to dust,
To nothing at all,
Breaking in pieces,
A desperate fall.
A yell for help,
Begging no more,
A battle waged,
On a broken heart's shore.
Salty tears,
Sometimes you wonder
After a morning of waking up to the sunshine
Or a day spent with friends
Or an afternoon of light reading
Or an evening watching your favorite movies from childhood
That maybe
Why am I here? What have I done to deserve this? Shampoo in my eyes. Give me cancer for a cause. Rush smoke in my lungs. I am an animal, I want to live free. Why cant the just let me be?
Dear Lauren,
Your head is on moving mountains
While your heart is broken into thousands
And today you fell off the track
But I'd like to guide you back
I was once depressed.
Most people didn’t know. You slap a smile on your face and they don’t take the time to tell the difference between happy and sad.
He turned up the radio and turned off the lights.
At that moment I'm pretty sure I was staying the night.
I could see the sun go down from the window next to his bed.
Over a year come and gone,
long nights that turned into dawn.
Hanging on thin threads of hope,
that helped me cope
a devistating loss long ago.
Holding on to someone I used to know.
There are some old notes at the back of my closet.
I haven't been able to get rid of them yet.
There is a rusted ring at the bottom of a cup holder.
And a bunch of letters inside a folder.
Broken promises left in the open
The stench of nicotine and dried up roses
Clouded vision by the smoke
Don't think, don't think, don't speak
Cold air filling a dried throat
Whispered screams in the sheets
Rumors,they spread around like wild firespread aroundall leading back to youleft feeling insecureand alone
It's funny.
I wanted this
I wanted this so badly,
For you to leave me
To give my heart a healing chance.
But now that you did,
I have yet to wonder
Why am I still so sad?
I wonder if the other tired eyeshang low like their hearts because past loversare in the past and the future movesfast,so fast.
Mother me?
Can’t I be something other than thee?
Can’t my branches grow?
Ever which way to and fro?
And be as beautiful as long Hair?
You were my rockBut I found you too stable,Immobile, grounding, so IShattered you -A man broken into thirty-three pieces,Mere pebbles of the boulder you were.
As you stare out the window
of your quickly moving train car,
the landscape, blurred, is ashen and bare,
and the pitter-patter of rain on the thin metal roof
never stops.
You were the only girl who I've ever truly wanted.
The only girl who my heart have never fronted.
Only girl I've relentlessly pursued..
Might sound like a fool, but somedays you was the reason I came to school.
I stacked them up as tall as the sky
Which may sound like very high
Though really it was just a lie,
Probably because I was small in size.
My mother brought them home each month,
His porcelain skin
& wiry brown hair,
His rosy cheeks
& baby blue eyes,
The cotton jacket
With matching leather shoes
& stiff cap.
Always at attention, like a soldier
Will it come to pass me by
or will it never come at all
Will it come with my sorrows
or will it come with my family's sorrows
I ask myself this everyday
for you never know when it'll be your last
Living a little is being in touch with reality.
You love.
You laugh.
You cry.
You hurt.
I tried to outrun the realities of life, but then reality hit me; you can’t outrun life.
I don't wake up crying anymore. And I'm through trying.
It's not that I've been lying.
But you don't keep me up at night like you used to.
And when the sun shines through my blinds I no longer
There was a place and timeDon't ever go back to thenIt is just filled of memoriesAnd sadnessOf people who don'tRemember you, andPeople whom you wish to forgetYou've visited your past
I hear rain drops
Drip, drip, drip
I see people walking in and out of my life
Goodbye one says, hello says another
I miss you my loving father
As I lay at rest for the night; everything will be fine
What is freedom? Is it the light I see in this dark place? Is it just a word, or do I give the meaning to it? Is it the feeling of floating freely in poisonous water?
If I could be anything
I would be a book
Filled with adventures
Dashing heroes
Brave heroines
Cunning villains
There are always
happy endings
and fairytale kisses
We met in the forestDrawn by the song of theMocking birdAnd light of the moonYou called me lion girlYour fingers running through my hairI called you star boyMy lips on your freckles
She spends her time looking for truthIn the ruins of BabelAmong the pariahs and lepersJust another lost soulTurned away from societyHer only crimeWas to loveThe wrong soulThat sung half truths
I ask, Who am I?
Forever I shall know not,
Between wolds above and those beneath
Eternal life and endless rot.
If all the stars in heaven
Shone into my very soul,
That which was illuminated
It covers everything
It is our friend and enemy
It shields our faces
Our emotions and devestations
It knows our fears
It creates our fears
We tell it everything,and we we tell it nothing
The heart-wrenching news you tell me nowadays
Is stored in the latched box of my distant mind; it decays
Into my deepest and darkest ponders,
And upon reminder is where this distraction wanders.
Should I hold it all in...or should I cry it all out?
But I don't want to disappoint them,
I don't want to be given the doubt.
They think I'm strong.
They think I can do better.
But how can I?
She’d still be alive. He wouldnt be at Harborview…. She’d be smiling, laughing… Making those ridiculous weed mustaches. If I could change their minds, Tianna would be breathing, alive, healthy, safe, beautiful.
I saw you last night in my dreamsI couldn't believe you were really thereLike when something isn't what it seemsBut, looking at you, I didn't care
I had a note that I wrote
That started off as an anecdote
But I left it in my coat
And I gave it to a boy so eager and cold
But he didn’t know how to float
To smell the earth around me,
pressed against my face,
To have my soul unchained,
from this earthly place,
To awaken in a world,
where I am finally free,
of body, mind, and soul,
Daddy left the other day,
Left me a rocking horse,
Left mama sad and crying,
Left me with no remorse,
Mama's stuck in bed now,
I'm doing all the chores,
Though left without a penny,
I'm so alone
I cannot feel.
My heart is ash.
This pain is real.
I cannot feel.
I cannot breath.
My lungs are crushed
From this longing.
My lips too cold
To feel the chill.
Like a funeral in an hour glass,you wonder, how slow can time pass?Soon the sane will dissipatefulfilling the end you anticipate,but not soon enough.End? I call your bluff!This will go on forever.
It’s this time of year that makes me wish you were here.
It’s hard to enjoy the falling leaves,
When all I have is this burden to heave,
So the next time you see me I want you to remember,
You exhaust me.
That hardly describes it.
I wish there was a better phrase for putting my emotions through a spin cycle.
You didn't even hang me out to dry.
It hurts to be me.
In the night when no one can hear,
Not a cry, not a wail, not a single tear
Shed for what is long forgotten,
forbidden, unspoken
A broken heart the only token
He never hit me.
But sometimes it felt like it.
When you see someone punch a bed because of something you said
or smash a windshield because of a fight
you feel like you are to blame.
The world as perceived by the saddest of the sad is just a rusty radio
Static
Turned low, so's not to wake my neighbor.
Too tired to turn it off
too worn down to search for a signal.
So, resigned, I sit
I want what I be not
So busy trying to fill the gap in which
Was left
It be not his fault
My spirit be mine and not his at all
I long for pleasure and happiness in who
has what I have not
hey daddy, it's me, you're little girl...
I need to tell you something that will make you want to curl.
I went to that party, it was right down the block,
but I didn't bother telling you, I was distraught.
This isn't poetry
This is my heart
I should have known
I'm breaking apart
Let me write about
The empty hearts
Hollowed and emptied out
The shattered broken part
The passion that leaked was spilled by led,
The words able to form what's been left unsaid.
There are times I wonder how it all began,
Though I'm sure it was because of the age of man.
In the desert lightning strikes,
An act deadly for the dry wild fields,
Under the brush a spark ignites,
Fed by the winds it consumes all it reaches,
Steadily climbing towering trees,
Confined by these chains
They're tying me down
I'm feeling no pain as I helplessly drown
Floating and spinning in the waves of despair
A weight's being lifted
I love just to sit.
Not thinking hard on anything.
I love just to sit.
Playing my Levi the Poet,
Loud in my headphones.
I sit and just stare.
I stare at a blank page.
I scream behind my closed door, but they can't hear me.
The words don't ever actually escape my lips, because I'm afraid of what I might say.
My mind is the one screaming, it just wants to be free.
Lips I can kiss
A heart that is mine
A friendship evolved
A love so divine
Hands I can hold
A rush I can feel
A connection so bold
A bond so unreal
Someone I can talk to
Love is funny,
don't ya think?
I met you once,
and stopped to blink.
Is this for real?
or is it fake?
We hung out never,
yet life's at stake.
You kissed me millions,
What has this world come to? People too involved with themselves or should I say vain ... over consumed
Using others just to get by or too pretentious to just be themselves, flaws and all ... and not hide
For the rainy days,
Which made her flowers bloom.
For the hugs she gave me,
When I needed them most.
For the years spent suffering,
Before she passed away.
For being the strongest woman,
will does not force my mask,
a loney mood and empty flask,
does make my mind go numb,
behind this smile that you see,
is not a face so carefree,
abandon hope of helpful hands,
Watch the rain drizzle downIt threatens to ne'er endBut all wounds someday healAnd wings will always mend
You should be my hero,
My personal Superman.
Always there to hold my hand.
You should take me fishing,
Teach me about boys.
And show me how to fight.
I should be your princess,
Numbness fills my mind,
My heart seems still,
Never knew life was so unkind.
The wind blows,
The day ends,
But still my pain grows.
My face it smiles,
My eyes are clear,
Sitting on these cold, wet, muddy grounds.
Nobody will ever know or feel this but me.
Starring at the skies filled with stars, reminds me of the lightbugs back home.
My heart beat gets stronger by the second.
I’m still sad, I’m still crying.I miss you and I know that I shouldn’t care anymore. But it's so hard to let go . You were my best friend boo and I miss you. I’m not supposed to be thinking about you anymore .
It took years to find you, and when I did, I didn't know I had.
Wisps of flowing white and knitted yarn lined your contours,
and I knew that my world had shifted course specifically for us to brush hands.
As her head lays on my chest,
I feel the knot in my throat grow.
Tears begin to fall down my face.
And all I can feel is sorrow.
God will never leave me empty.
I’ve been searching for so long
Eyes brimming with tears
Who knows where it is
What I thought was my home
Tell me O God
Why did you punish me this way?
Breaking all ties
Leaving behind memories
in crispy cold, the wafer moon flies
there's a loneliness that backhands this repeating demise
all the stars around me seem as pores to the sky
and my pores breathe them in like millions of eyes
My hand, yes it hurts
but my mind hurts more.
Why do I write you ask?
Because I can't go back to how I was before.
I can't afford to be that girl
Who feels the need to end it all.
The air smothered in smog
The birds don't sing like they used to.
Then again, it's not surprising,
must have the Memphis blues.
The echoing screams in the streets
Children crying in the background
There once was a girl with two different sides. The bright, the bold, and the bubbly; the happy the laughing and the smiley. The dark, the dangerous, the angry; the hurt, the crying, the melancholy. She smiled to the world, no reason to frown.
It is day and it is night, somewhere.
It does not matter where I am, it only matters where you are.
It is cold and it is hot, somewhere.
It doesn't matter what the weather is like, I just wonder how you are.
You could feel the pain
In his spoken words
Every word hurt more than the one before
He got so close to tears
Ready to disappear
God knows what your hiding behind those brown remorseful eyes
You lied and cheated, shamelessly mistreated but to me it is no big surprise
Light up, light up your coffin nail and burn away your guilt
I wondered how
Someone so angelic as you
Could have turned out to be
The demon that broke my heart
And then I remembered
That Lucifer too
Was once an angel.
Day by day
I felt like Im such a stranger
Creature in front of you
Meaningless I mean.
But sometimes
I felt like Im the luckiest girl ever
When you looked at me
Glanced I mean.
My secret is out,
A terrible truth.
You watched my tears fall,
With utter aloof.
“Back your packs,”
You muttered in disgust.
“There’s no room for you here,
It’s time to adjust.”
it's true, I say
that the pain stays inside
that we don't know where to hide
but why? you ask
because we're broken
because we're lost
because we are alone
There's beauty in the soul
If you gaze real deep
There's hope in the veins
That keep the hearts beat
There imagination painting
Blurred dreams behind the eyes
Everyday I wake
Early in the morning
The sun is at the Sea line
And I know its the perfect time
I Walk through the house
And to my masters room
I lick her ear
And she awakens too
Can you hear the screams and my dreams that are dieing slowly? My parents keep saying they did their best, that I can have the best, but that I can never rest. With sweat slipping through each follicle. Where are my brothers and sisters?
First day of high school, I wore a dress to impress and I guess I was subjective to the people that I messed with, but it didn't stop there. People were staring at the waistline of my elastic that made me look fat.
Eyes are the window to the soul they say.
What, my eyes show this day?
Sorrow, memories, pain
Every day of rain.
Why?
Rough life is
Not for all showbiz.
Hard, cruel, unkind
The lone wolf was cut out from the pack
With nothing but a hurtful smack.
What did she do?
She wasnt like you.
She hunts at night,
With the moon as her light.
She is alone,
But not forlorn.
Why does my heart still grow cold,
When I think of you?
You won't admit your wrong doings,
Passing the blame around,
Unable to see the truth.
Not allowing it to be seen,
Lies fill your heart,
I have wasted precious paper figuring you out
And I know you know just exactly what that's like
I'm sure you'll never spare a word for me
But I would expect you've got much better things clouding your mind
being in love is floating in water,
the soft fluid seeps around your limbs,
and you’re at peace... eternally.
nothing can change the charge inside your soul,
I was asked today if I was okay.
When asked that what do i say?
Say yes? and lie,
Say no and explain why?,
which is worse?
Lie to someone and feel the guilt,
When someone truly Listens to you
They will react both inside and out.
A response infused with emotion
Showing you that they have been moved by your words.
When someone truly listens to you
Here is a word, or maybe some more
I guarantee, simple is bold
We see the unseen
And feel the signals
The signals of heart
But there are choices
Choices to be made
I have a sickening fascination with
bruises and
cuts
because they come from experience, from living,
from accidents, from memories
and sometimes people create them
on purpose
I try to go to you,When I need to talk.But instead of listening all the way throughYou decide to walk.I try to let you know how I feelBut no matter what is said
As the ocean draws in from a hard days work I stop and think of the ongoing state of things. The sun's rays strech out from the horizon giving the sky a firework of explosion. What has my life become? Where is it leading me?
Where did the old me go?The one who didn't cry every night?The one who never disappointed anyone.The one who loved everything.The one who always had a smile?
Honestly, It doesn't really seem like it's been four-years
Even If I cried I wouldn't know If I had any more-tears
The only thing I want in this world only is just you-here
The summer morning waking up
the sun through the blinds so bright it could blind
it was all calm till the Call.
You hear her yell and then the door shut
If i could cry the ocean drywould the color of my eyes wash out?And would my mouth be permanently downcastIf i stopped smiling for years to come?Would i forget how?If smiling takes less muscles than to frown
Have you ever had to deal with the pain, deal with the tears?Deal with the weight of the sadness that comes with a broken heart? Maybe you have, but have you had to deal with these all by yourself,
There is no greater felon, than that of the innocent bystander:
He who sees...
Does no wrong.
Does no good.
The person who witnesses pain and suffering and,
barriers worse than the Berlin wall and
contraceptives combined
our lives intersect
nonsensical
cyclical conjectures
the hypocrisy
blinding
it slurs and
it curses
There's a beehive in my heartwhose bees buzz all nightthey’ve built honeycombs in my veinsmaking me as stiff as a tin man with no oil
I bleed honeyand it attracts bears
When a raindrop falls from the dark sky above
A tiny voice calls, in the distance looking for love
You can hear the thunder, lightning flashes in her eyes
Her body six feet under, trapped alone her soul cries
A mouse. Yet in a way, him and Charlie were the same "person". Algernon was a lab rat. A ticket to a nobel prize. Nothing but an experiment. Delicate, un-human, and furry but he still had a heart. Sadly the doctors didn't care.
Dressed in white and at the hall, Excited was she not nervous at all, It was a day she looked forward to since she was a child, Whenever she thought about it she sat and she smiled.
What is this, that falls from my face
This wetness. This pain. This glory.
This confusion. This worry. This scariness.
Happiness is a feeling not a destination.So why do we keep searching on a path full of limitations.Searching in objects becomes our new motivation to move up an elevation. Because tv ads have provided us with this generalization.
I've never had an owner Yelped, whined..those didn't work
And you've never had a pet I waited for you to sleep.Then ran away;
She cried black tears , she can feel the blood in her heart freeze over
As her breathing gets slower the cuts get deeper, scared with memories
Of his hands striking her face, helpless no escape , even though shes a
Is it wrong to feel unwantedIn a world so bigIs it bad to feel haunted By something you never did Is it scary to question Why we're all even here?Or is it human nature...To fear?
Do you know the difference?
It's your new-found lack of interest
The way we used to speak,
About this life,
That romantic time at Miller creek,
You made me feel so much alive,
I was to young to deal.
Started not to feel.
Never took the time to heal.
Somehow it didn't feel real.
I was to young to see.
Thought it was apart of being me.
Wall Street
Stock market
For some people
it's their
Easy Street.
Whenever I think of that phrase,
I think of Annie
and the song
sung by Hannigan
and her brother
It’s all bad
This moment,
This pain is far too familiar
This moment I usually consider a life lesson
I feel it’s less of a blessing
And more of a curse
But right now I could care less about
I pray that love sets me free and though im blinded by hate, love overcomes me.
I pray that one day I learn to live so that I wont be afraid to die and that there remains many reasons in this world for which I will never have to cry.
I wake up to the warm morning sun.
Already has this terrible moment begun?
Outside the window I see many individuals pass,
And out on the pavements that’s where they express their wraths.
Pinches and medicine,
Needles and a poke.
This just has to be a painful joke.
Their squirms are minimal,
Their cries are silent,
Allowing the ‘caretakers’ to be violent.
Behind a metal door,
My heart begins to feel sore.
It’s been beating painfully for days,
I’m hoping, just pleading it’s a daze.
Pairs of eyes dart from me to a friend.
Maybe I'll start today or tonite
Maybe I'll think on a daily
Maybe I'll give him what he wants
Maybe she'll recognize me
Maybe this will be the last time I feel pain
Maybe I can do this!
Whilst walking down the sidewalk,
she saw a large Styrofoam fountain drink.
Damn it, she thought, why do people litter?
She went home slightly irritated.
Whilst walking down the sidewalk three days later,
You must love to watch me crybecause since the beginningthat’s all you have caused me,tears and breathless sobsand i sit here as these big dropsof sadness and despaircrash like waves onto my face
Always walking down the dark path,
Familiarized with every detail.
Nothing new
Nothing old
Just the silent footsteps,
Of a broken soul.
No one hears her cries
I recently realized that meaningful love poems can only be written by those that are loveless,
Because you never fully appreciate anything important until you reach out to grasp it and it’s gone.
I search for answers in this bottle because they are probably at the bottom.
Every sip that burns my throat reminds me of the sting in your words,
be it only a fraction of the intensity.
I laid in bed,
I could not write.
I lost my soul,
and lost my mind.
Now I am so frustrated,
I simply just can not take it.
Tears streamed down my face every night,
I held on to you so tight.
(poems go here)
Wish Heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again.
I thought of you today,
but that is absolutely nothing new.
I thought about you yesterday,
and day before that too.
Steel hearts, locked eyes,
Tears form, deep sighs,
Tears fall, eyes close,
No more words, he already knows,
Sergeant calls out commands,
He backs away, we drop hands,
Plane flies, let it go,
I'm missing you everyday,
You are always on my heart and mind,
I try to see your face but I fear it is fading away,
Im longing to hear your voice,
I'd love to hear your laugh,
She watched her king walk away,
Leaving her all alone now everyday,
Just left her standing by the queen,
Her broken life now everyone has seen,
She was all alone in the palace,
One day I found
Poetry needed no rhymes
So unlike,
when the piano clunked,
when my sobs sogged keys,
when my fingers clumsily blundered,
The keys I was taught to play
Displeasing Mother’s ears
Taste of water
Stroke of sunshine
blossoming occurs
Petals painted with
vibrant color
growing gradually
Sun guides me
through the day
with a grin
with a sweat
That night I saw you illuminating in the night sky, I realize I was small,
that all the world's troubles and your own didn't matter at all,
at peace with yourself and the silence in night's air,
Suspended by your invisible locksRetrained from my own powerLosing my breath with every"Stop, I cannot, I cannot"But I cannot go awayChoking me with your invisible armsDrowning me with my own Niagra falls
The End
The rich colors;
A golden glow
of marigold,
a hint of deep red.
Falling down the sky,
for what is
the very last time.
My name is Renee' Epps. I would be twenty-one if I had not killed myself. That's right, I am dead. You'd think after committing suicide people would change their actions toward me.
Life is cruel
Life is pain
Life will make you go insane
Life is mad
Life is mean
Life will make you loath being a teen
Life is evil
Live is crazy
for a while i seen the signs
but didnt take heed
pretending to be blind to the fact that you
werent the one for me
i was aware of the fact that you were not happy
ShatteredLittle droplets of my heartSplatter on the floorMixed with splintersOf my sanityI grasp the edgeAs I sinkMelting under thePressureA spoonful of acidReplacing the sugar
You still can’t decide what it is that makes you
Feel this way. You sit in your room alone looking
For encouragement in all the places you know deep
Inside you won’t ever find them. You contemplate
It’s said that the love you take is equal to the love you make.
But no one has ever tried to calculate the intensity of heartbreak.
So you sit in your room and listen to sad songs with candles burning
A fool, a joke.
I didn't know what else to expect.
I thought he was cool
And now everything's been wrecked.
If i could cry i would weep for all eternity. If i could scream i would, i can do neither so i mourn in the most awful silence imaginable.. The sadness and pain is bottled up inside and i ache to let out.
As sons and daughter of the most high God
We have standards to uphold, as we are representing Zion
And as we live in a dark and hateful world
Move along,
There's nothing left to see.
Just a couple more,
to take the edge off of what is haunting me.
You look at me,
Like you can save me,
But what you dont see
I can’t wear a smile. They’re too bright,
I’m more of a frown, it’s more of my style.
I’m blessed, but I’m stressed as you can see.
Mind stuck on shit it shouldn’t be.
Concerned with fam, confused about friends,
Nights transformed to months;
the rain to floods. A brooding storm,
bleak and somber.
The darkness of night heaving
its overwhelming presence,
echoes eminating from hollow walls.
As still as the stars,
It seems to always start the same way,
just like a cycle I might say.
The way a bottle slowly fills up,
drop by drop reaching the top
until it can't take it no longer,
it starts to suffocate in its own water,
I was so sad
To be denied from the school for me
All my hard work hadn't paid off
I felt smaller than a pea
Sitting at this table all alone
Looking at the cool kids in the zone
When will this segregation end
When will this equality begin
They are all envied by all
But for reasons unknown they want to see me fall
I'm so lost with you
that I can do without you
One day I'll forget you
like I never even knew you
Go away, disappear
I'll no longer shed these tears
Paint the sky black
because I'm never coming back
and I don't want to see you again
It was wrong
the things you said
are playing back inside my head
I can't forget
I can't let go
in this endless confusion of wonder
oh i wonder, i do wonder
where your heart beats
where this love meets
how can i believe
that we were meant to be
if you aren't even here with me?
left to wait
The teacher says write,
So I write.
But I don't really want to.
I want to play in the street
In the night
While the roar of the city
Drowns out the cries of the lost and the weary.
You and I were the best part, of the worst combination.
I was the sun,
radiant,
passionate,
fiery,
bringing the brightness of a good day to all those that I touch with my glowing beams.
No one can know about this secret.
This grotesque secret.
It's become a hobby.
Something done daily.
Something that is yearned.
Something that can become addictive.
We stumbled into love in September
So, we belong to autumn
Therefore our hearts must fall.
And after months of sun kissing those summer rays become colder
Nights are stretching
Fear creeps into my sheets,
As I grew older, my mind became bolder
With every touch of passion, I become clutched
I began to write when I began to reason reality, a creative formation status of my full mentality
It smells like death, if death had a smell
She felt a soft breeze while tears streamed down her face.
She stood there not knowing how to feel,
Not knowing what to say.
What she did feel was lost, empty, numb
why is race important
or color looked at first
in this world of screwed distortion
the racial slurs they hurt
the tears erode my heart
as the colorodo carved a canyon
my life it fell apart
when you died myself my faith abandoned
sometimes when no-one else is around
in the dark i start to cry
then you can hear the saddest sound
of a tear about to die
I saw your Picture I Smiled.
I heard your Voice I Smiled.
I felt your Touch and, I Smiled.
I was Pained when there was no Thought.
I was Pained when there was no Emotion.
I was Pained when there was no Contact.
A sweet aroma, A calming sense
A solacing presence, A tender touch
Oh what I’d dreamed I’d one day find
Falling lies, severed words, tarnished feelings
All that I’d hoped I’d never experience or feel
but i could leave my eyes and lips shut close
and still my secrets would whisper from my soul
for inner and outer of me you know
my lover. my keeper. mine.
I used to meet you in the park.
You had pride- you said.
"This is only temporary.
I'm looking for a job,
Not living on welfare."
Hello beautiful girl,
That's all I can say to you,
Cause tonight is our last night together,
Unfortunately it'll have to do.
Pretty soon you have to go,
As yet again I fall for you.
Gray and full of shade
I can see raindrops playing their game
Not a drop of sunlight on my face
Just wet, wet rain
This stuff I say or do isn't meant for you to feel a certain way, it's for me to get my feelings off so I can brighten my day. I let my feeings overcome me into having a small heart that can no longer beat. I cry day and night.
Through those haunted eyes
The darkness is flowing
See the other side
The moon no longer glowing
Why won’t you listen?
Love
Loss
Why?
All that’s left is to die.
You say I lie I clearly can't remember
Everyone forgets about me in December
Friends quickly turn into enemies toward me
No one seems to be talking about anything but me
In a cruel way nothing but hidden laughs
For those of you who stare at me,
gleaming at my brilliance,
all you see is the sparkles and glitter,
but not the true appearance.
And for those who I am speaking to,
you are not the ones closest,
I can remember being that little girl, with no mother.
I can think back to never thinking back about my father.
I can relive the moment of being snatched into reality.
I can’t…I can’t…I can’t.
Baby Brother
If only you knew what a great sister I wanted to be for you.
If only you knew what Daddy had planned for you.
If only you knew how happy Mom was to have you.
Terror and fright consume me:
Light leaves and dark trails behind me.
I am forever alone with no one near or close,
In this secluded island, I stand morose.
That one feast during that one time of the year
That one moment when calories don't matter, we have no fear
Across that one big table we can barely see
Through that one turkey big enough for the entire family
Twisted wrong
Stepped over upon
I glare up to see
While on the ground
I see myself
To be the one
Who tortured me all along
And I now see
What wrong
I've done to myself
as we lay sleeping
your eyes close
and you fall away from me
so suddenly
behind your eyelids
waves crash against the shore rhythmically
you hide your inner self
in a world (made of sand)
I realize that I'm free from you
But in reality, do I want to go?
Your love an addiction I could not resist
Still suffering from the scars that don't show
In times like this, it's easy to ask
Where was God?
Why did He let this happen?
The answer seems to always be there
Looming over...
Seemingly unanswerable
His heart is fragile;
his body is vagile,
he wants to persevere but he feels he has no support near,
he walks the days alone,
he needs to be put in a hone,
sharpen his senses;
I believe that you're special.
I believe that when you hear my voice you smile.
I believe that your heart skips when you see me.
I believe you love me.
I believe that you know you were wrong.
I started writing
At 11
I scribbled notes on
Books and walls
Trying to find the
Perfect combination
Of 26 letters to
Tell my mother
I wanted to
Die.
There are not enough words in the
English language to tell you how
Much I love you
I look for you in every backward glance
In every second guess
In the way the sun refuses to stop painting my walls pink
Falling in love is bliss until you can’t fall any further. The only other option to giving in is denial, you don’t want to believe there is someone so perfect for you; only there is no going forward or turning back. You love, & are in love.
Dark Whisperer,
Dark Whisperer, hush up
For I am terrified
I can no longer endure
Yet another night
Of the taunting, and the pain
No longer can I stifle you
And it's driving me insane.
The fairy with the broken wing
That loves to write,
That loves to sing,
That can't seem to do anything right.
Words spoken are a beautiful sound,
But those written scream out.
Inevitable.
My fate is inevitable.
That last sweet goodbye will cling to my mind like moss to a tree for the rest of my life.
Sometimes that moss is so beautiful.
The tree's greatest quality.
Words have gone unspoken.
Thanks has not been given.
Respect has all but vanished.
Appreciation is fading.
Communication is gone.
We are now expected to work till our hands bleed.
When love breaks its like a storm
Inside everything is torn
The smell of rain is rolling in
You know this love is about to end
For a moment everything stalls
While the first rain drop has time to fall
Silent tears fall
streaming down my face
rushing over your shoulder
and breaking at you from within.
You watched the pain in my eyes
my voice
and my body
Natural disasters affect us all
whether huge or small.
It is not until lives are taken
that we are truly shaken.
Horrible thoughts may cross our minds
and seep into our hearts that underline
~Give me a glass and our eyes will do the talking
~Maybe names could be exchanged
~By midday we'll tango,five you'll be flirting, and by six you'll be my ecstasy
Because bad things happen
And then life gets hard
Hope is lost along the way
But you must hold on
Because giving up is not an option
And failure means defeat
Thursday morning, just like any other
I wake up. the vibe is different.
I have yet to find out, but
something is wrong
The wind shook the house on that cold, cold night
You were yelling at me, I didn't want to fight.
You stumbled down the stairs,
You stumbled into my room,
You grabbed me by the hair, and you blamed me.
My heart speaks out
To all the survivors of Moore
No person should ever experience that
The feeling of being torn
There's a field at the beginning of town, With tombstones that line the ground. Everyday gets harder to pass, I take other roads so that good memories last. That morning in March replays in my head, Like a bad test you continue to dread.
Smoke,
Rolling off the tongue,
The taste of blackened ash.
Endorphins filling my brain,
A long sigh,
Sparks burning my thigh.
You’re at a red light and a homeless man approaches you
And you act like you have nothing when you’re sitting in your BMW
Before the love hit me, I was in pain
Love was an item that I couldn't gain
Every day, I ended up being alone and sad
And every time I saw a happy couple, I would go mad
My heart ached and moaned with depression
She lays back
her head on the gurney
we hold our breath
as she takes this journey
doctors surround
there is no sound
as she's wheeled away
then her mother breaks down
Maybe you do not understand that the past is in the past, yet I am still chained to it.
Maybe you do not understand that every time someone mentions that theme I cringe.
You look at me with eyes that
Don't know the truth
You look at me with eyes that
Will not acknowledge the truth
Because the truth is,
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you and,
She'll always know
(poems go here) I am the color green,I am the grass,I am the leaves in the trees,
I am the wind that blow's through the trees as i sing passing bye
every tree,
Fire erupting from the depths
Calmed in your embrace
Angel, your song entwined
with my fingers
I feel these emotions
They come in waves
I breathe thick fury
This hateful rage
It turns around
Pulling me out of the deep
Offering me a hand
Pulling me back on my feet
I know it wont last
I wonder what its like
to be happy
to be someone who isn't me
to be normal
to not have these thoughts
to be able to just "fit in"
just one of those people who's there
who every one likes
I need closure
I need to know
why
why you said those words
how they tasted when they left your lips
little did you know their outcome
you cant tell someone "go die" and expect them to be okay after that
They have been sleeping for countless years.
They live to teach they live to educate
Through the attentive doors come the mad men.
To throw their knowledge into the fiery den,
Save me;
I'm dying on the inside
Lift me;
Pick me up from where I've fell
Wake me from this sick nightmare I'm in
Someone get me out of this hell
Help me;
Today I don’t exist.
I’ll be the sound of the falling tree that no one hears
I’ll be alone all day and won’t take a thing away from the world
Because today I don’t exist.
My Mother's House has all kinds of things,
Things that she loves.
There are paintings and pineapples,
And chairs, and wreaths above.
Her House is full of all kinds of things,
Things that she adores.
If money grew on trees
my life would be at ease
No one knows how I feel
never knowing when I'll have my last meal
Seeing the for sale sign in the front yard
needing money so much but its too hard
Scary winds, so rough and so strong
Emptiness, that feels so wrong
Loneliness, dragged on for too long
My warm heart, once full of love and light
Was torn away from me one starry night
Food is my ultimate weakness
I have stop and lose these pounds
Because now I am so sleepless
Shedding off weight has too many secrets
The sugary snacks make me look fat all around
Food is my ultimate weakness
I dream a dream so dear and ture.
but to see you be in such a mood,
make my dream come fade.
I want to see you dream A dream I do.
but in these darkened halls,
I see and hear no dream.
Don’t Give Up On Me
Don’t give up on me
I’ll lend a hand and meet you halfway
We will stand by each other’s side day by day
Hold you close and hold you near; please never be afraid to whisper to me your biggest fear
I hear yelling. People getting put down. I'm getting put down. I see my friends in the hallway. They don't know what is going on. They laugh, tell jokes, have fun. But I feel alone. They feel like something is going on with me. But I hide it.
starlit.
shining, reflected pains.
calm as river.
size your face.
staggering on beams
of steel.
exhaling charms of colored blue.
booked up spine.
c shaped back.
crack.
crack.
She's a rock and she's sinking.
Deeper and deeper.
Those supports, what supports?
Flew away.
The creator's got skill in mind and
pain in movement,
Unavoidable.
Degrading, degrading and angry.
Hints of green
Fits of red
There you are laying in my bed
Your wasted grin in my trash bin
Sideways questions in your salty tears
Lost in your brain, I'm lost in your sin
You push him down
you call her names
causing so many frowns
and so much shame
Why do you need
to push and shove
is it from greed?
or a lack of love?
I was the oldest,
So I should’ve died first,
But now you’re buried in the ground,
At only twenty-one years young,
They say you were hung,
And now I’m listening to sad songs,
Did you hate us all that much,
If you look at me now, I'm a girl at a desk.
I seem normal, following directions like the rest.
You'd never seen the pain in my mind.
Tears that I successfully hide.
I see the girl in the mirror.
So good at being me.
But she's not.
I know if I close my eyes, hers will close too.
If a tear rolls down my cheek, one will fall from hers.
Depending on a soul with never vanish a burden.
Heavier and heavier, brick on brick; stress calls the name.
Whisper in response and face the pain.
Doors closed, surrounded by fear, no way to escape...
One mind
Incapable of Change
Like a paper airplane
making the same folds
since you've been this old
Unable to watch it sore
From the fears it'll crash into the floor.
You make it seem so sure
Everyone misses you,
We all wish you were here;
Everyone wants you back,
We all want you near.
It's not only me,
My friends miss you too;
You made a big impact...
Everyone loved you.
A girl pictures herself as someone other than her.
A girl who has everything that anyone would be envious of.
She feels as though there is no hope for her.
I was cute when I was four till I was abandon and forgotten
now theirs hate, mistreating and rejection started to become common
I hate when people ask about my parent's its to awkward
To look into your eyes is to see fire
Set ablaze by the creator Himself.
The way you gaze only takes me higher.
I wish to keep you and those eyes myself.
I look and fall into a pool of blue,
Going to class shoelaces untied and I don’t mind,
Got my head down, headphones in, walking a straight line,
Keep moving forward without a doubt leave the past behind,
I'd ask to go for a walk,
on a day when the sun shines.
And we could forever talk,
or get lost in each others eyes.
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
So, they say that words have power
that we create matter,
but all of my words
haven't felt like they have power.
I hear them laugh and joke and play.
I see their smiles as clear as day.
They’re talking to their "BFFs".
While they dance and sing, I’m by myself.
I lie in bed awake at night
Empty inside
Wanting to grab onto something
But not knowing what
The thick white
The sky has no light
The smell of soil
And weeds
And my barefeet,
Let me breathe.
This sundress
Is too thin to cover me.
Where are you God?
I’m afraid they’ll see
You see darkness in my eyes
The pain in the tears that I cry
You used to hold my hand
But that has come to an end
All that I ask is that you don't judge me in the end.
Dark shadows cast among the single mind, reluctant to cease and cloak themselves in light.
The eyes that refuse to close and narrow instead
The weight that those eyes produce pushes the shoulders forward, the head down.
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
Your eyes, green with flicks of brown.
They swallowed me whole.
They took my soul.
They flipped my world world upside down.
The river washes everything away
All the evidence
The remembrance
Of things that happened in the past
It doesn't worry about the mass
Amount of people
That it erases
Hey love.
Its been almost seven years since I last saw your smile.
I love you so much, you know that?
Best friend, i could tell you anything
And I sat here, for a year straight wanting to bring harm to myself
Ladies and Gentlemen...
We are gathered here today to celebrate something wonderful.
A life.
I feel no pity.
Not even a little bit
To leave the city
In which I
With my existence
Didn't bring the light,
Didn't love the stranger,
therefore, this place has nothing
I would consider mine.
Whoever it was who said that war is heroic
Never stood in the midst of one.
Never felt the heat of a gun
Or heard the CRACK of bone
pierced by a hunk of lead.
I don't understand
why the world is filled with violence
or why people hurt others.
I don't understand
why innocent men, women, and children are killed
when they had so much potential
Come
My love
My sweet dove
I miss you so
I look for you above
And yet they tell me to say no
They say to say no to the love that grows
When you left me, left for good I said I was done
Abriet macht frie
the gate had said,
those who entered
new they were dead.
Yellow stars
on their shirts,
made adults
and children hurt.
Everything
that took place,
the mass killing
I take a knife
And slit my skin,
Exposing my heart
Reach in
And tear it out still beating
Its erratic rhythm.
I show my exposed story,
My deepest truth
Only to One
Who gives me a reaction
Living in a universe of sadness and despair,
The shadow sits around,
No one caring that he's there
Stepped on and abused, he didn't even dare,
Reach out to other people.
They wouldn't even care.
Lyrical licks that lament the whips that tips the slaveholder that his chains don't hold the gold that sold out the captives, making them proactive to freeing them from the tree and be free, or is it just me?
If the society we live in today was just a dream and a simple pinch made us come back to reality, I wonder how things would be without all the brutality.
She suffers in silence. Her tears unseen by the human eye, Her screams unheard by the human ear. When she walks into school, it is everything she fears. They call her names and they think it is all fun and games.
my reflection is looking at me
she’s examining every part her body
I watch as tears fill her eyes
she’s an abomination
You’re distant, a behavior I wouldn’t usually accept
The thought of you has consumed my mind
Confusion arises, I have yet to truly witness your emotions
Please don’t leave me dangling, only to fall
Tears stream down my face as my mind begins to scatter
Feelings of hopelessness overwhelm my being
Depression is no longer a word, it’s a part of me
I can’t breathe
Tell me something
beautiful.
It will get me by
during the absence of you
Unless that absence
continues;
That break lingers on;
Then tell me nothing at all
It's funny,
when people ask you if you're sad
and you just smile,
and say "no",
and they walk away, satisfied,
Thinking that they were mistaken
That they misread the moment
of pain,
depression,
You smell so good when you walk by me.
You ignore me and keep walking as you always do.
Your beautifully pressed white coat and shinning shoes
Walk past me kicking some snow in my face.
Regret
I wish I could say
At the closing of Life
I wish I could say
I gave it my all.
I wish I could say
I fought the enemy
That I witnessed its red eyes
Dilate and close.
An extremely lost
Bird flies high up in the
Clouds, flies in a
Daze, but
Eager to be
Found again.
Golden feathers top its
Head, with golden plumage flowing like
I watched from afar
Drenched in the downpour
Of rain?
Or tears from Heaven?
I watched from afar
Knowing a part of me
Has vanished into
Nothingness forever
I watched from afar
Coming from the same man and woman
The race known as humans have evolved so much,
But one true quality that makes humans unique is our versatile aspects
We can be smart; we can be strong,
While you're weeping at my grave,
I'm right there next to you.
I am hoping you will be brave,
I wish you would stop feeling blue.
oh demented chicken noodle soup,
what has happened to you?
your noodles oversized,
but you have me mesmerized.
dare I add crackers?
the employees here are slackers.
they put no love in you,
The days continue as they always have,
But they aren't quite the same.
A hole has opened in my chest
To know that it will be a while till we meet again.
Sitting on a stained dock
Amidst the four winds
Is the figure of a woman.
Have you seen her before?
Her dark locks lifeless
As her body sits frozen.
Her white dress stained
With red.
Memories of you fill my mind.
My heart aches and tears fall from my eyes.
I miss you more than words can express.
And I cry as you're laid to rest.
Sometimes I feel so sad and alone,
I've got two guardian angels watching over me.
One is named grandma and the other daddy.
Both were loved so dearly and nothing brought them down.
They were both so strong and lived their lives proud.
Oh how I wish I could turn back time
To when you were still here, still alive
I miss you more and more each day
And nothing will ever be the same
I can hardly cope with this pain
Whenever I see somebody with their dad,
I feel so very sad.
I miss you more than words can express,
And I cry more than the rest.
I don't know what to do now that you are gone.
How will I ever move on?
Life is not so easy now that you are gone
I cry every night for I am not as strong
I wish you were still here with me right now
But I know it is better that you flew up through the clouds
His night is rough and bleak
Tears run down his cheeks
As the rain pours and slaps the ground
His father hits him, yet he doesn’t make a sound
For he knows the consequence of yelling
A wish is one thing that comes deep from the heart, it is pure and grows strong and will never depart.
To wish and receive is the greatest of all, yet it seems to die down like a deflating ball.
It’s a nice hot summer day
You’re going on a family trip
That is two hundred miles away
You don’t want you mom to flip
So you chose to not say a word
You thirst, but do you dare take a sip?
You think you cool just cause you have sex with the dudes,
I have news for you that just makes you a fool,
I guess you like the center of attention and whispers behind your back,
And there's a reason you shouldn't burn bridges,
Cuz sometimes they just can't be rebuilt,
and it's a guilt trip every time you try to mend that relationship.
My faith is corrupt, it's nothing but doubt.
Everything you promised became a lie; a way out.
Dreams are for those who can believe no doubt.
I can't say I'm one, belief was something I never could retrieve; a way out.
Everytime I go to tell you what's on my mind I lose control.
I feel so much emotions in my heart, mind, body and soul.
But for some reason I don't know how to let the truth unfold.
You've never seen me wear my tears.
You've never seen me consumed in fear.
You'll never understand what you haven't been through, it's just that clear.
What is loneliness?
One might ask
Is it a black hole?
Destroying
Annihilating
Everything around it
Leaving nothing behind
I thought of you - again - today.
Your song and music to which I would sway
Playing softly from this machine of mine.
I wonder if you will ever grow some spine.
Stumbling, uncertain, shaking, I fall
And stare up blankly, in fear, in helplessness,
As my world intensifies.
Colors take on supernatural, disturbing shades of themselves,
I've heard about it back at the big farm.
The Farmers told us that it's delicious.
My Friends said: " Farmers are mean and cause harm."
But they were nice and said I'm nutritious!!
Could you look me in the eyes?
My mistake is easy to repair!
Don't treat me so coldly, do not despise
Simply because the crack was large.
I can't see it, but I can see what it does.
It gets under your skin; it overflows your veins.
It dissects minds, sorting through your fears and your dreams.
Manipulating your decisions, poisoning your beliefs.
Drowning in the confusion that is my soul.
Begging for mercy, from this unknown path that I'm taking.
Reflecting numbness, but I'm only searching for it, always calling out in the night.
Crying into the night, begging for redemption, only for salvation of her one true god. They told her no, they told her why. She told them yes, and made them regret every lie. The clock strikes twelve, and the knife struck her.
My skin crawls,
I can't help but write.
To you and her and my mother.
“I loved you"
I can't help but write
I can't help but paint
"I loved you"
Onto my head and heart.
I can't help but paint
the dark heavy sinking feeling spins and twirls inside of me. it encases my insides, coating everything within its reach. it swells inside me and I can feel it grow and pound against the inside of my body, restless to get out.
Who are you? Why do you follow me?
I dont understand why you wont let me feel free.
Your voice echos in my head and I cant shake you out.
All you do is insult and shout.
But who are you? Your not who you should be.
This poem is dedicated to my nephew who died at 14 months. I miss him every day, and it makes me even sadder to know that his little brother is turning two in April and has outlived him. We miss you forever and always Jakob Carol Warren.
~Hell & Back
i’ve seen hell & back
i’ve been through here before
the scars lie on my back
i’ve cried many tears
this isn’t fiction this fact
i’ve lost friends
i’ve gained angels
The mother weeps
The father stares on
Brother tries fists clenched
He has to stay strong
Sister wails, she hasn’t stopped
Bishop says many things
But none are heard by the grieving family
My world is inconsistent.
All of us are far too absent-minded
to fix it, too indifferent
to care about any sort of intellectual
growth. We become strangely detached
and all we are left with is the cold.
I loved the warmth of the sun,
Rays softening your irises,
The golden tone of our skin.
I loved the comfort of the soft wind,
A slight embrace,
Lullabied by the melody of birds.
You promised a chance
A moment to prove,
To leave all out on the court
There is nothing to lose.
Yet alone here I sit
Observing, lightheaded, voice sore,
The encouragement failing
It will come soon,
that dreadful day.
Last night I watched the moon,
just cried and sat that way.
Nobody is yet ready
to let you go.
We all just sit restless yet steady,
It's the same thing everyday
you wake up and go through routine
someone asks how you are
and you reply with fine
To say what I haven't…
To whisper the words that I could not say
I forgot the way we use to once be…
The connections that use to be had…
The bonds we use to share
I lost them.
I strayed from the path…
There have been wounds in my life.
I'm used to the pain.
I have been chasing love.
I'm invisible on this earth,
I'm always transparent.
Even by my own parents.
I have learned since I was older...
Smears of rain on the glass
Reflect my watery stare
Tears slide off my cheeks
And I think
Where is the sun in this drudgery of rain
Does it require surgery to cease the pain
From the day the boy and girl met
he promised her he’d love her
“till she was greeted by death.”
He prayed that day would never come
and only thought of it with horror.
And she loved him.
Kissing, trembling,
Up your spine.
Licking, tasting,
Your thoughtless mind.
My eyes glow yellow
As your arms bare orange
Jaws clamp tight
As you’re no more.
Fall down in white,
i am blinded by my tears
as voices screech uncontrollably in my ears.
i reach out to find relief,
but all that returns are thoughts of defeat.
To whom it may concern:
What is it about me that frightens you?
Is it the way I talk? The way I walk? The way I’m shy?
If you really get to know me I am a nice and sweet guy.
Bees are sitting
On the Wind
Drifting
Feeding
On the Wind
Bringing life to those once dead
Bees are searching
On the Wind
Two happy people, or so it seemed
She soon woke up
Wishing it was just a dream.
my life
is a flurry of
inhale and exhale
just trying to breathe
just trying to breathe
(So many years in this,
Everyday I’ve lived to kill
But when one of my brothers fall
Another war has begun.
I am aging gracefully
as is my faith
like the gray replacing
the brown in my beard
pesky questions
have been quietly
replaced not with
answers
I sit here alone,
Afraid and confused
This child that I bear,
Leaves me not the bit amused
This was not on purpose,
I should have kept my head on focus.
How can I tell them?
Had a sporadic moment of brilliance today
This extra-terrestrial brown skin
Bronzed with historical significance
Scarred with repetitive adversity
It isn’t coming off
No words I write can ever say,
how much I miss you every day.
As time goes by the loneliness grows.
How much I miss you... nobody knows.
I think of you in silence,
I often speak your name.
Capture the past
I'll let it live
Very loud, asking for forgiveness
Ignite a passion for history
Let you beat me like I beat you
"...Hearts are best fixed and re-run than left broken, hurting, and struggling to function
And though it may be as fragile as glass
Or if you are never completely healed from the last
Always keep your heart open
Deep in these streets
Where it's easy to lose
One's self without warning
Where all hell ensues
Where death is dealt
Day to day
From one hand to the other
In a sneaky way
Where moms run amok
Round curls and shiny locks
In gold, red, and brown
Bounce on their foreheads
As they skip and run through the halls.
It’s a beautiful world,
But sometimes my love uncurls,
Like a newborn leaf.
I grind my teeth and stand outside the tombstone,
Using up all my will
Not to call you on the phone.
BFFL’s For Life?
I had to find new friends,
Coming to a new place.
The ones that would truly love me,
And never leave me,
This became my new race.
I'm scared.
Mainly of the future and what it holds
I have no idea where I'm going or who I want to be
Reality seems like such a dark, unwavering place.
Your way to young, you don't know what to do
who's gonna love you and guide you through?
The guy is gone that's usually how it goes
Your mom and dad aren't happy and soon everyone will know.
I just want to go away and never return.
Stay free from all concern,
But deep inside I'm afraid I will crash and burn.
Possibly take a wrong turn,
And be forced to make that apprehensive return.
"History repeats itself" a phrase in time that remains unctouched, just as the world of today!
Live in life as we do, our past..forgotten we choose. Which apon us brings a uncertain future acompanied with no change.
Dana never could remember what was proper to say
His only concern ever was to make someone's day.
So when Dana saw a girl, as lonely as could be,
He walked up to that girl, and that girl was me.
Cold air blows
upon my pale face.
Where am I?
It's white
its lonely
What is this place?
I rise to find
im in a hospital bed.
Braces on my arms
cuts on my skin
Hey Life,
Can I get a tall glass of success followed by two shots of accomplishments?
Can I move forward? Can I reach my destiny?
But first I must set free from the confinements of a broken family…
She sits there in the corner.
She reaching for the phone.
She pulls back her hand,
Her time is like a hourglass sand.
Curling over with tears,
All her fears become real.
She goes into shame,
Sayde you made me a better person
You helped me decide what to do
With my fragile life
I turned on the light
And saw you laying there
You were cold and
Not shivering
You laid there in perfect silence
Sayde you made me a better person
You helped me decide what to do
With my fragile life
I turned on the light
And saw you laying there
You were cold and
Not shivering
You laid there in perfect silence
Love is like a sunset, the bittersweet moments
of when the sun says goodbye to the world
It’s how the colors of the sky turn with it’s benevolence
Like your heart when that beau caught your eyes dream-world
Heart in chains
Ain’t got no brains
Since we was a fetus
We’ve wondered who would lead us
Bright smiles,
Dream eyes,
Wind blown hair,
Stomach butterflies;
Intertwined hands,
Never-let-go hugs,
Warmth of a kiss,
Oh, the effects of Love.
TOO YOUNG
If I had my way,
You would not be leaving.
If I had my way,
I would not be grieving.
Well I know what I need.
And that need is to sleep.
And just as I begin to drift my thoughts began to creep.
That's when I lose it.
The hurtfull things they say bother me more than I'd like to admit.
It is not always what you wish to hear
It may sometimes cause a tear,
There might be treason
But I’m sure there’s a reason
That would be a lesson learned
And often cheap credit earned.
How are you?
It's awful I don't know.
Where have you been?
Not in my life; that's for sure
Why did you leave?
I can't seem to find you.
Why am I still here?
You left me behind you.
I am young.
Blonde hair moves past my eyes,
As I play in the dirt.
My irises are big and innocent.
She tries to fake a smile
She’s become a master of disguise
Empty and heartless,
There’s nothing in her eyes
She’s just a shell
Of nothing
Wishing to escape this hell
Of lost hopes
