Today is her first birthday

On the twenty-first of May.

She looks beautiful on a 3x5,

But I’m a million miles away.

 

I’m a million miles away,

So in my mind she hasn’t grown.

She’s still a picture-perfect child,

That I must shield from what I know.

 

I often think about her mother,

Playing the roles of mom and dad.

And it breaks my heart, but still I know

That I cannot go back.

 

Because sometimes in the night, I shake.

In my dreams, I’m in Iraq.

I’m crying over my wounded brothers,

And fighting to make it back.

 

But a father should be strong,

So I can’t let my daughter see.

I can’t bear to tell my wife,

That the man she married is no longer me.

 

So I fight for my country,

But I’ve never fought for myself.

I chose my brothers over my family,

And I put my daughter on the shelf.

 

Today was the first birthday,

That she spent beside a grave.

And now I’m the one on the 3x5,

Above a casket in display.

I’m trying not to slip away,

And wishing I could somehow stay,

I realize now the mistakes I’ve made.

 

But now, as I always have been,

Am a million miles away.