At the age of 4, I began new adventures;
A hedgehog, a vampire, no, a gamer starting to venture.
I was new and inexperienced, I just didn’t understand,
Like Kindergarten and field trips, I was entering a new land.
At the Q & U wedding, I was so disappointed;
I didn’t make the bride, so I went home and cried.
“You’re black! YOU’RE BLACK,” one young girl said.
That’s why I couldn’t be the bride, because black girls can’t wed.
Middle school arrived, completed another level.
Insecure yet hyper, very tough to settle.
Tried to be somebody different than who I really was,
I wanted everyone to like me and I wanted to be loved.
Played Xbox at night just to calm my senses,
Another chapter complete, 7th grade commences!
Joining 7th grade athletics was very disappointing,
Compared myself to other girls, I regretted joining.
Developed eating issues that didn’t want to stray;
That was tough to beat, still struggle to this day.
After 8th grade started, I didn’t want to be seen;
I hid behind a façade due to low self-esteem.
My friends would always rate me and put me at negative three;
I changed my personality so instead, they’d laugh with me.
I made myself a clown to finally be somebody;
I had so many friends that I thought really loved me.
Middle school ended, what a boss battle to beat;
High school started, my hardest level to complete.
Depressed, bullied, angry at the world,
But I learned from gaming I’m a really tough girl;
A champion, a warrior, a warlock, a cat,
I could be anything I wanted and no one will change that.
Senior year arrived, yet flew by like a bird;
I’m off to college soon, this is all such a blur.
I was very stressed from working with little rest,
But I learned from my therapist that stress can be the best.
My stress pushed me far to work really hard,
Applied for colleges and scholarships and sent out graduation cards.
Can’t depend on family, as I’m joining the wild;
Graduation already, no longer a child.
I’m nervous and scared, not sure I’m prepared;
Adulthood, man, one game that makes me scared.
Okay, times up, goodbye home I’m departing,
Game over high school, my next adventure’s starting.
WHY I CHOSE TO PARALLEL GAMING AND GROWING UP
When I play a video game, it’s like I am living as a different person in a world much better than my own; like I am escaping to another world to forget all the pain and obligations in my real world. However, I’ve discovered that even though life does have its definite comparisons to gaming, life is not a fantasy world; life is not living behind a screen, shielded from who we are or the world we are living in. During my life growing up, I have not been shielded from disheartening situations that affect me emotionally, and what happens in my life does have an actual impact that can’t be redone with the help of a restart button. After I graduate high school, there is not going to be a screen to shield me from the harsh realities of life that I will face as an adult. When I graduate, there is only going to be the bare, raw, real me facing real life obligations that I can’t hide or put up a façade to. Because of this, I see graduating as my realization that I’m growing up. My experiences throughout my life thus far have only continually matured and developed me, but graduating…my life is now in my own hands.