4:03 p.m.
From the first day i ever cried
without reason, i was told to
be stone cold, never show 'em how you feel,
because emotions are bad bad bad
don't use those dirty words.
No Daughter Of Mine Will Cry In Front Of Me
so i held myself high, and kept my thoughts inside
because
Emotional People Are Weak And You Must Be
Tough
Tough
Tough.
so i learned from an early age to cry in quiet
in the shower
where no one can hear the sobs
and the tears mix the my soap
to cry behind closed doors
at 2 am
in the deafening dark
to cry in pain silently
to break down inside and out
without word or anyone knowing
covering my mouth with one hand so i stay quiet
must whisper
hush
hush
tears running down my lips
and all i taste is sadness
the other hand on my stomach
or my heart
because i can't decide which hurts more
i'm in pain all over
thinking of everything i did wrong and
learning how to dry my eyes quicker
so i
Don't Show My Weaknesses.
my vulnerability
my emotions
get the best of me
but i think i'm getting better
at hiding
myself.
-c.a.