Should I hold it all in...or should I cry it all out?

But I don't want to disappoint them, 

I don't want to be given the doubt.

They think I'm strong.

They think I can do better.

But how can I?

I already fell so deeply into this mess,

I think, oftenly, that it's too late to try.

Now I have to wait three more years, including this one,

For a fresh new start, and hopefully, a permanent distraction...

They left.

The house is all empty now,

Maybe I should cry it all out.

Yet I don't want to,

Because, what if maybe, It's not worth crying over for?

I should erase It from my mind.

I should be happy.

And then maybe,

Hopefully,

I could find a better It than It could ever be.