Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, no take

I thought that just for once, my heart would catch a break

Break as in rest, but instead the shit shattered

At first the innocent laughs and smiles had me flattered

But now I know damn well that to him it never mattered

Because he fooled me all too well, just to have me feeling beaten and battered

But see for me, I loved hard

I've been hurt one too many times, but no matter how scarred

there was more love to be given without any kind of guard

No hesitations, no warnings, and I played my every card

I'd show less of me to get more from him in return

I'd often begin to feel my innermost self churn

I'd go out of my way for him just to get burned

I'd get tired of having another lesson learned

I gave him the very best of me.

Into my wildest places he received admission

I wanted to wait 'til the ring on my finger gave me permission

But when my conscience spoke, I just wouldn't listen

I felt so stupid after making such a decision

Because, I wanted to be the girl to watch him grow

To show him that there's more to life than what he knows

To change his mindset about so many things

And one day be able to call him my king

Once again the hopes I had were left in some kind of concoction

And in this moment forgiving myself was the only option

I was broken down to my lowest component

I thought I'd hit rock bottom before, but nothing could beat this moment

I'd spend Sunday afternoons showering tears of regret

But not too long after I remembered self love and respect

I spent no more time feeling defeated

Because I reminded myself of how I should be treated

He taught me to give someone the time of day who knows my worth

Who should look at me like I'm the only woman on this earth

Who knows how to appreciate my very being

Who's thankful every morning for the first face he's seeing

Never will I take that route again, for my little heart is still mending

I pray that the right one is an angel whom God will be sending

But for right now, on myself alone will I be depending

Because choosing to be truly content while single is my real happy ending.

(p.s in case the video on vimeo won't let you watch, the password is "poetry")