My nail polish is chipping

 

My lips are cracked

 

I can’t love you

 

Too many lines engraved in your skin

 

My love handles are nothing to hold onto

 

The hair on my head is abandoning my body, like leaves the strands fall one by one

 

What do you look like?

 

I can’t see any pretty in your soul

 

Wow, look at what you are,  I can't believe how you felt, can’t believe what you did

 

I can’t stop cutting

 

I can’t stop bleeding

 

Can’t stop eating

 

I can’t eat

 

What happened to black girl magic?

 

Can’t do anything but feel undeserving

 

Won’t pray the gay away

 

How carefree are you really?

 

I don’t know any magic

 

I don’t know anything, lost my faith in a rip current, lost my mind in ninth grade

 

Do you know what you look like now?

 

You look like you’re crying

 

Like you thought you could get rid of depression

 

I see you, is this me?

 

No feelings here, just numbness

 

I guess it’s off in space, forever now

 

Drifted and distant is a small price to pay for neutral nothingness

 

You have no body, no thoughts who are you?

 

What to think

 

Has autumn always felt like this? Like blowing in the wind with no real sense of direction

 

Oh shit what do i look like!?

 

I have brown skin don't I?

 

I’m kinda tall, maybe i'm a good person?

 

Can’t say nothing for sure anymore

 

How could I love you?

 

You don’t even know who you are

 

Everything about you screams dejection, depression, dissociation, and disorder.....the disorder has left you like this?

 

A conch shell that can’t even hear the ocean, can not even feel the waves

 

It’s all just static isn’t it?

 

You don’t even ...You can’t...you .. I

I don’t

I can’t even remember my name