If my feelings were contained in a room,

I would like to tell you that it would be filled with natural light,

Spacious but cozy, 

And of course comfortable. 

But most days it’s as if I’m stuck in isolation. 

It’s a room with no doors or windows, 

That continues to lure me into its dark corners. 

There’s a light in the middle of the room that flickers on and off, 

But there are times when it turns off completely. 

For days, weeks, and even months on end, 

I wonder if it will ever turn on again. 

Searching and placing my hands against the walls 

Dragging them around the room hoping to find a switch. 

Realizing it was built into the ceiling, 

I gave up for a time. 

But I have learned that it’s how I try to turn the light back on that matters the most. 

Sometimes it’s easy to grab a ladder and flick the bulb a few times, 

And the light comes back to me. 

But there are times where I have to build the ladder, 

Hammer every nail, 

Sand down every rung, 

And hope that it can hold the weight. 

There are times when I need to call an entire maintenance crew. 

It gives me anxiety watching the repair. 

I’m the type of person who always has to ask, “What if something goes wrong?” 

I’m also the type of person who still wants to be optimistic. 

So I close my eyes and somehow envision in the darkness a brighter future. 

There are some issues that go beyond me, 

Some lights need more than one person in order to be working. 

And maybe that light will never see full power again, 

But that doesn’t mean it won’t try.