How Can I Turn To You Now?


I try to go to you,
When I need to talk.
But instead of listening all the way through
You decide to walk.
I try to let you know how I feel
But no matter what is said
My feelings don't matter- to you at all- unreal.
Completely unreal to me...feeling dead.

Dead inside when I needed you.
I thought that these feelings were true!
But I guess they are just fake.
So can someone show me, for heaven's sake?
Can someone show me what is real?
Can someone show me how to feel?
For the feelings i have don't seem to matter all.
When will she ever let me tear down these walls?
She always says she wants to be closer, wants to be near.
But how can I have her close, when all I feel is fear?
No matter what I try to do.
No matter what I try to say.
I am done, my feelings through. can have it your way.

You think my feelings are so insignificant?
Then fine, watch me as I get rid of em faster than an excrement.
Why hold onto these feelings when they're all dead.
What was I thinking...what was going through my head?
Going to you with my problems? How could I be so dumb.
Because all you ever do, is kick me when I'm down, until I'm numb.
Yeah I know I'm not perfect, I am far from it at all.
But I never kick you when down, I try to help you stand tall.
I do my best to pick you up, do my best to give you life.
But sometimes, I need you to shut up, and for once, listen to MY strife.

There are times, where I hurt too.
There are moments, where I feel blue.
Yet all you do is darken this shade.
All you do is sharpen the blade.
The blade that pierces my heart..letting colors bleed.
Tell me what I gotta do, what is it you need?
For me to help you see, that I'm dying inside.
For you to see, that I need my bride.
I need the one in white, that stood by my side.
I need the one, so loving, that never let me hide.
For she stood so strong, so tall with me.
And was always there to help me see.
That these demons in my heart, they were never there.
The one who always helped me learn how to bear.
The problems of this world, all the time.
The one who helped me forget how to rhyme.

For I only can rhyme words, when I am feeling sad.
Honestly, sometimes, even when I am mad.
But she brought me the sun, made me feel so warm.
Showed me no danger ahead, an end to this storm.
How brightly she shone, above every and all.
How warm the light, causing me to stall.
To stall the ache inside my heart.
To make it beat again, to help it start.
For no one had ever made me feel that way.
No one. Not once. Since that fateful day.
The day I saw you in the moonlight.
The day that my world was filled with delight.
From that day on, I vowed to never be the same.
From that day on, I vowed to learn how to be tame.
To learn how to be only yours.
To learn how to open up all my doors.
But how can I do that, when you keep locking them behind me?
How can I do that, when all of this, you just can't seem to see.(poems go here)


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