breathe the sadness that stitches your ribs together and choke

on the chances you missed

that's the end of it all

those forbidden thoughts, wishes---

'you could've done it'

made that choice and gratefully inhaled all the consequences,

along with the heady smoke laden with

planets and dreams and dissonance,

consonance a distant nightmare---

the ghost of a past touch

I was wrapped,

stunned with gentle grief,

in your arms for the last time

one more laugh

that final word of caution, filled with dead-weight meaning 

that tearing, ripping sense of foreboding...

the twinkling stars turn their eyes in shame as I call to them,

cry

yell 

scream to the world 

help me 

help me say goodbye