This stuff I say or do isn't meant for you to feel a certain way, it's for me to get my feelings off so I can brighten my day. I let my feeings overcome me into having a small heart that can no longer beat. I cry day and night. Getting up in the morning, eyes red and sensitive to light. I sleep, chill, think in the darkness. Trying to relieve all the deep shit trapped in me. "Only if you knew" I said to you is because I'm harshly depressed out of my mind, I don't know what to do or what path to find. I have no light guiding me on but my pen and paper that opens my thoughts and turns me on. My thoughts can be as deep as the pits of hell, as crazy as a psychotic magician, and as shallow and sweet as a pond of honey. But altogether they all mean something to me...I am... Not living the way I want my life to be. I am depressed from my past, lonely and when you read this I hope it gives you deep thoughts, instead of laughing and taunts on me.