Feel Something

A cold touch
High winds
Warm water
Wet hair
Hot sand

Or how about anger
Can you imagine
The feeling of your blood boiling
Pumping feverously through your veins
The screaming out insults and curses
Until your throat was ripped apart
And your mouth was dry
Lips cracked

Anger isn't always vocal
Have you ever strained 
To look away from a peer
Who did you wrong?
The hard, cold glare
Of a parent you've disappointed?

Do you remember the days you sat in silence
Laying back in your bed
Headphones in and eyes closed
Blaring out the twisted lyrics that calmed you
Watery eyes and clenched fists
While you curled up on your pillow
And made mental notes
How you wished you "never did it"

There's always happiness
The joy of winning your first award
Even if it was for participation
What about first love?
Sweet talk, little secrets,
Memories of sunsets and dinner dates

Anxiousness is a killer
Walking down the hall
Not knowing if the laughs that happened
As you passed were actually about you
Even though you don't know them
When your teacher sets the test on your desk
And all of a sudden
You know you have an F
When you know you're on time
But you still fear that you're going to be late
And have major consequences to follow

The weight of sadness
That sits on your shoulders
You're trying to hold it back
Sniffing back warm tears
A box of tissues beside your bed 
But only "just in case"
The crushing grief after a hard break up
When your heart first shatters
But you're trying your best
You swear

The thousands of other emotions
The ones you can hardly explain
The ones you feel all at once
What are you supposed to do when that happens?
What about all the times you felt nothing?
The frustrating sensation of not knowing
Was it anger? Sadness? Surprise?

It's okay to feel nothing
And it's also okay
To feel everything
It's okay to feel


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If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741