Tears stain the fake leather of my boots
the salt fringed watermarks where I left my heartstrings
There are so many marks I have left behind
In all the cities I have ever loved
And even some that I cannot remember
But I remember more than the Alamo
I remember more than the Titanic
and the Chernobyl Disaster and 9/11
Not because I was there...
But because some losses you can never forget
and disasters make me feel like less of one.
See I always knew I wasn't the perfect son
I always knew the wind only blew in my direction on Sundays
When even the skies seemed a little bit darker
Or maybe we were
The clocks seem to tick so much louder on those days
and time is a fleeting concept
almost as much as life is
and when they lower my coffin into a grave
my boneyard of missed chances and broken hearts
Do not mourn for the missed misery
do not shed tears for encourgament to the graveyard grass
the caretaker has enough work to do already
Instead, ride the bus
take a different route home
if it is raining, then listen to the rain
if it is sunny, feel the warm rays
and if you can't bring yourself outside then sigh
clasp your hands and run cool water through them
feel the icy touch trickle down and to the drain
these are all signs that you are alive
And if you are still alive then dont let go
hold onto the experience of breathing in and out
do not let the night pass you by without laughing in the dark
The moon only rises to hear us laugh
and when I am not here to laugh with you,
do not dissapoint her.
I know happiness is a locked box
a chest with a key we lost many years ago
and perhaps we'll never learn to open it again
Or perhpas it was always unlocked
and we just didn't pull hard enough
But remember the enscription left behind
In the necklace I wore
in the poems I wrote
in the sides of the chest and the moon and my coffin
"Why shouldn't I be Happy?"
Why shouldn't you smash the box with a hammer
or punch through the coffin walls
Or pull up the grass for telling you you couldn't?
Life isn't meant to be pretty
Be the disaster you wish to see in the world
break the windows keeping you locked up
and scream to the world...
"Why shouldn't I be happy?"