Stuck

I take a knife
And slit my skin,
Exposing my heart
Reach in
And tear it out still beating
Its erratic rhythm.
I show my exposed story,
My deepest truth
Only to One
Who gives me a reaction
That makes my eyes sting
And my timid smile falter.
After a moment,
That One person walks off
And I shove my heart,
My truth
Back to its holding place,
I do not retract my hand and sew the wound shut.
I squeeze until my nails bite into muscle,
Releasing the reason for the organ
And I let go,
Along with red rivers,
Flowing…
Flowing…
Then I shut my eyes,
Slide on a sweatshirt,
Pull at my hair and squeeze my ears
And scream.
Scream my infinite pain
That stains
Sears and scars
My footsteps.
And I see,
I finally see as I laugh and cry like a lunatic
How the truth
Never set me free.

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