Hey brother, I see you love writing poetry. I am new to this website; can you please check out my work and give me some feedback? I only want to become the best writer I can possibly be! If you don't mind, I can give you tips, pointers, and help you in your journey as a poet. I'm only here to do what I love and possibly make friends! Feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Thanks.

I like your poem, and the messsage you are trying to send is very relevant to our times right now. If you don't mind criticism, I think you can better your poem by adding more descriptions about your emotions, as emotions help the audience/reader visualize what the author is trying to say. Just my two cents!