Depression is a drag queen

She sashays across the floor

Covered in sparkles and makeup

So you almost forget.

You almost forget how alone you feel

How the bar is empty

How this is your 3rd Long Island iced tea

And you have to drive home tonight

Depression makes you miss people you know you shouldn’t miss

Makes you avoid people you shouldn’t avoid.

And makes you tell yourself it’s all your fault,

This is your body after all

She pokes jokes at your muffin top

The way your acne snakes down your neck and onto your back

The way sometimes you forget to smile

Sometimes you forget the mask that society has insisted you wear

You forget that your value as a young gay man is only based on whether or not you are deemed fuckable.

Well fuck that.

I may not have the perfect figure

Or a porcelain face

But terracotta can shatter too

And my heart is a mosaic from all the times I said it didn’t bother me.

I may not have the confidence to dance like a gogo boy

Or Vogue like a queen

But I’ll be damned if I go back to the man who broke me.

No matter how badly I want to.

No matter how much I miss his laugh

Or his kisses

Or his hands on my body.

No matter how many times I cry in my car so my roommate doesn’t know that I am crying about a man again.

You see she doesn’t understand.

Depression is a drag queen

One quick change away from oblivion

From lady Gaga’s poker face

To make you feel my love by Adele

A rainbow sundress of pride

to a night-gown of mourning for love lost.

I do not know when my depression will hit

When the bomb will drop

When the skies will fall

And all I will see is the rain on my face

You see, she works on drag time

And any minute she could start

In the middle of a party

Or a game night

Or while I am at the park

And you better be ready

Cause when the curtains drop

And the lights go out

You better hold tight

it’ll be one hell of a show.