I was pathetic.
I was lost.
I wasn’t me anymore
…. because of you.

I would indulge in..
I would desperately seek.
I would want
…. alcohol because of you.

It changed me.
It gave me courage.
It made the pain tolerable.
But when I was sober again, I felt it all.

Many nights I called.
Texted.
And you responded.
You gave into my drunken rage.

I did it on purpose.
I wanted to hear you..
I needed to touch you..
You made me whole.

I only drank when I wanted your attention.
Often..
Frequently..
Underage and acting out of character.

I only drink when I think you.
It isn’t as intense anymore.
The pain, hurt, and anger..
I was pathetic..

…. because of you