When we met

When we met you told me that your heart was a broken song

So I hope you were able to fix it with the pieces you took after shattering mine. 

But mine will never be reassembled on solid ground

Because I refuse to break someone else to fill the holes you left behind 

And I will learn to love again someday

But a percentage of my heart will always belong to you 

And I am learning to be ok with that.

And I know I should be happy for you

Or proud of you

That you moved on so quickly

That you let go so quickly

Without me

But the truth is I’m not

The truth is that I’m mad or sad

Or some combination of the two

And I’m not quite sure what it is I’m upset about

But maybe it’s how I knew when I met you that loving you would be letting a Trojan horse through the gates of my heart,

But that I loved you anyway.

Or that kissing you would be a poison so sweet that my lips would never recover, 

But I kissed you anyway

Or how when I met you, you reminded me how it felt to be called beautiful

And wanted

And worthy

And how every day since then you’ve made me feel like it wasn’t true.

But I listened anyway.

And I know there is statistical probability that every person in our life will be temporary.

But I guess I just thought the odds were in our favor.

And maybe when I met you, I was seduced by how good you are at math, or the way I made you laugh, or so many other things that now just make me sad.

But sadness is the most intoxicating elixir of them all

And the best inspiration for poetry

So I suppose I can thank you for that

Though I wouldn’t really mean it

Because we both know I would never write again if it meant you would still love me.

And some truths are hard to swallow for a reason

But I would rather choke to death than to accept how long I will go on loving you.

And I have so many regrets in this life

Like holding a grudge

Or catching a bat

Like sugar-free fudge

Yet still getting fat

I regret drinking beer 

And buying white shoes

But most of all dear

I regret meeting you

This poem is about: 
Me

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