Preface:

I am a 6’5” homosexual cis white man

Which is to say I am privileged

Which is also to say I kinda get it.

 

Poem:

 

I am sitting on my bed

I do that a lot lately

And I’m not really sure why

Maybe it’s because I can’t go anywhere, that you and I didn’t spend time together.

Or maybe it’s because people keep telling me I look tired

And I suppose that’s the nice way of putting it.

But that’s not who I am anymore.

I’m done waiting in line for my turn

I’m done settling for less than I deserve

 

So call me Karen

Call me a Karen then show me the manager

Or whoever can give me back all the tears I cried over you.

I do not have the receipts for all the times I said I love you, but give them back anyways.

Return the time I wasted in your arms and give me something I can hold onto.

 

Call me a Karen if it means you’ll stop skateboarding the sidewalks of my mind.

Or revving your engine in my memories to ensure I’ll never forget you.

To ensure I’ll always be loving you.

And stop playing your music so loud

Stop beating my heart like a drum

And stop pulling me along like a stolen melody.

I do not trust you.

 

So call me a Karen while I call the police

And maybe they’ll shoot me dead

But bullets can’t hit a heart that’s already been broken

What lungs exist to be punctured?

Since you took them with you when you left

Since you took them with my breath the first time you kissed me.

And it’s not fair how you never gave them back when you said you didn’t love me back.

I am calling the police to report the theft of my lungs

Or the theft of my youth

To report the hope that you stole from me

To report all the times you pretended to care about me.

 

So I guess I’m a Karen

But that doesn’t feel right either

Since the name comes from the word pure

And I haven’t felt that way since I met you

So perhaps I’m a Karen or whatever the equivalent may be

But I’m done being your play thing

I’m done letting you film my memory behind those crystal eyes

And I refuse to wear this mask anymore

Or pretend to be anything I’m not

So you can take back the mask you made me

I refuse to wear it to fit your mold.

And you can take back all the things you said were gifts.

Because I know my rights.

And the truth is we just weren’t.

 

So call me ugly

Or call me fat

Or annoying, or young, or impulsive

Or anything else you need to call me to feel better again

Because I know who I am

And you can call me anytime you want to

If you want to

But I will never call back

Because some calls are better left unanswered

And you can call me stubborn

Or you can call me crazy

Both of these might be true

But I prefer you call me Karen.