LONELY - CAN YOU FEEL IT?

Can you feel it? 

My disparity,

It’s there and all I feel.

I’m desperate for you,

Your touch, 

Your smell,

Your kiss,

Your love,

I cry and let my heart wilt,

A million times and where are you?

You’re not holding me,

You’re not making love to me,

You’re not lying next to me,

You’re gone, and have company.

I’m home, alone, waiting for you to return.

For how long this time?

Do you finally have two days for me?

Or is it only two hours this time? 

I don’t count on much time anymore. 

I’m losing the hope that I need.

To survive, I need you.

You did this to me.

You pulled me in,

You let me fall in love,

And you left.

You always come home, 

But the time I get is so little,

That it doesn’t even make it up. 

The pull I once had to you,

It’s dragging away.

The hugs get weaker,

The kisses get fainter.

The cold is overwhelming, 

When you’re my source of heat.

I don’t know if my tears will ever dry.

Or if my heart will ever not ache.

My love for you, it doesn’t fade.

But my loneliness overcomes.

Trying to force myself happiness,

And all I do is fade.

Can you feel it? 

You’re my partner, my lover,

You should feel it.

It should tear you apart like it does me.

You have to be so strong,

To be so okay.

The Lord knows I’m so weak, so fragile.

Come home,

The money will never be worth it. 

Love won’t pay the bills, as you say.

Yet, we’re still barely making it, 

So how is this distance solving anything? 

Where’s the paychecks? 

Where’s all this money you were promised?

Where’s the green bills that you left me for? 

At one point, the sadness fades too,

But that leaves the anger,

The rage.

I feel it so deeply, it haunts me.

I don’t hate you, 

Nor do I dislike you for it.

I am angry with the world, 

The poor life we were giving.

Little one, tries to hold me together.

If he wasn’t still growing in there,

I’d be long gone.

The distance will never be a sacrifice 

That I’m willing to make.

The loneliness will never be okay.

My love, can you feel it?

Rudy Valle

This poem is about: 
Me

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741