Drown out the thoughts with sound, even when they ask me to turn it down.

Turn down the one thing that makes me feel free. 

Take your words and leave me be.

 

All my friends, giggling sin.

It's too hard to smile, so I wont join in.

A distance not measured by reality, between me and whats left of who they thought I was.

Friends who dont know me, not really.

 

I heard what they say

about the music I play

"its too loud"

"too much screaming"

its still music, and it's what keeps me breathing.

 

Cant say that out loud, though. 

You dont want to carry their sympathy in tow.

Part of me wants them to notice me,

the look on my face as I put my head down.

But they leave me alone

just like I said I wanted them to be.

 

I dont know what I want