What’s up Doc?

 

Silence? Why, that’s awfully rude

Here, allow me to ask more politely…

What’s. Up. Doc?

 

Still nothing huh?

Well I’m doing fine, thanks for asking

In fact, I’m doing better than fine

I’m unbelievably superb…

 

I’m not crazy

 

It’s funny; you’re not like the other doctors

You don’t talk as much as they do

You just listen

I like that about you

 

Oh!

Forgive me, where are my manners?

Here I am flattering you with compliments and you don’t even know who I am

Can we start over?

Umm… Hello, my name is Oblivious

Don’t worry about how I got that name

It’s just a name, nothing more

I’ve been incarcerated in this place for about three years now

Can’t say I love it but it’s home now so I can’t complain

 

You don’t need to ask

That exhausted, yet cold look in your eye says it all

You’re curious about how I got her aren’t you

 

I’m not crazy

 

Tragic story really

I decided to leave the comforts of my home to explore uncharted lands

And the next thing I know, I’m locked up in this hellhole known as Heartbreak

 

She accused me of not being the right one

Crazy right?

I mean… I thought I was okay

But okay isn’t enough is it Doc?

No, the world doesn’t want okay

They want over the top, amazing, spectacular, and larger than life

They want strength, confidence, romance!

Greedy leeches…

 

Two years were spent inside this penitentiary alone…

Scratch that…

I wasn’t completely alone

The walls make for some interesting conversationalists

I still like you better though

 

Don’t give me that look

I told you I’m not crazy…

 

Two years I laid in this very spot

Counting cracks on the ceiling above

When a voice called out to me

 

She said, “Come… Join me…”
And I foolishly did as I was told

 

Surprisingly, I managed to escape this place

It wasn’t easy getting past the guards

But I seemed to manage

 

Only… She wasn’t there when I looked for her…

She called, then left me

They threatened to lock me up again so I ran

I ran as fast as I could Doc

You have to understand

This was my first taste of freedom in two years

It was like ice cream on a hot summer’s day

 

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

I had so much love in my heart that had been rebuked

Time and time again I was made an outcast and sent to this wretched place

And time and time again I broke out when I heard the voices calling for me

 

Then I met her

The first voice to wait for me after I escaped

Oh Doc she was perfect!

She was my life!

I couldn’t believe how much the world had changed when I was with her

I felt lucky!

I felt euphoric!

I felt… I felt real…

 

Life felt real

Life was remarkable

Everything was okay for once

I could actually stare death in the face and laugh

Nothing on Earth could stop me

 

Then something out of this world hit me

Everything changed when she stopped me

 

Sucker punched right there Doc

Can you believe it?

I gave my ALL to this girl and she left me

 

Oops… Excuse me

It seems that I have told a lie

She didn’t leave me

I left her

I left her because I loved her Doc

 

I’m not crazy

 

I left her because I loved her more than she could ever imagine

I wanted her to be happy

Screw my happiness because my happiness didn’t matter

It never has…

 

And boy, did she take the news well

She took it better than well in fact

No tears shed

Not the slightest frown or quiver of the lower lip

In fact, quite the opposite

She… Smiled…

My salvation smiled at the idea of separation

Was I really that unbearable?

 

I tried to stay out in the world Doc

I tried to be okay

And when that didn’t work, I tried faking like I was okay

I really did

But it was too much

My heart couldn’t take living out there without her

Out there without anyone to tell me that they loved me

 

So… I locked myself back in here and told the warden to hold the keys

I promised not to break out for a while… Possibly forever…

I don’t know

My perception of time is not all that great

Tell me Doc…

Is it wrong to feel like I want to be desired?

Is it bad that I wish someone would express how much they needed me?

Have I sinned because I begged the voices to look me in the eye and say, “I love you”?

Am I… Selfish?

 

I really hope I’m not selfish

I’m not trying to be self-centered

It’s just… People forget that I’m human too…

 

I breathe the same air you do

I walk the same earth you do

I was created by the same God that brought you all here

 

So is it too much to ask to be accepted for once?

To be desired more than anything else by someone?

To be loved for being me?

 

Santa, for Christmas I want a girl to love me for me

No Santa, I’m not crazy

At least I don’t think so

Is love crazy?

Why aren’t you answering me Santa?

Why aren’t you answering me Doc?

Are you abandoning me like they did?

Am I not good enough for you either?

 

Fantastic!

The first tear has stained my cheek

Are you satisfied now?

 

 

I’m weak

I’m broken

I’m lost

I’m cold

I’m angry

I’m lonely

I’m forgotten

 

Have you had a good laugh society?

Err… Excuse me, I mean Doc?

Have you?

 

Doc, please

Diagnose me because I’m so confused

Am I crazy?

Or am I just depressed?

 

Oh…

I’m sorry

In all my rambling, I didn’t realize that I was talking to a mirror

 

I just see... A ghost

A ghost is staring at me

 

Whoa…

I just blinked and the ghost is gone

In it’s place stands a monster

A dreadful, forbidding monster

 

Mirror, you must forgive me

I didn’t mean to frighten you with my emotional baggage

Here, allow me to fix the issue…

 

…

 

Hmm…

You’d think I’d feel something when I punched a mirror

You’d think the shards protruding through my flesh would hurt

You’d think I’d be alarmed by the sight of my own blood dripping onto this hollow pavement

You’d think…

 

That’s strange…

Hey Doc, I think you need to take a good look at yourself

Your face kind of resembles my heart at the moment

Shattered, frozen, and menacing