What's Inside of You


United States
36° 11' 10.9212" N, 86° 1' 20.4996" W
United States
36° 11' 10.9212" N, 86° 1' 20.4996" W

Tweedle-Dee, tweedle-dum.
She lays there likes a drum, as he's pounding into her.
Treating her like no one.
This goes on every night, and days when Aunty is away.
He rapes her and beats her, forcing her to stay.
He says that if she tells anyone, he'll kill her.
"I'll freakin' kill you, you slut!" he screams,
"I can kill you any day!"
It's okay, she's as good as dead anyway.
But it's the threats against her family that forbid her not to fade away.
Her little baby Nicky, is whole , sweet and special.
He's her sweet special baby, her sweet special baby.

The man that implanted her with little Nicky was sweet and special everyday,
Everyday before little Nicky was to be had.
He slapped her and kicked her, "We can't have that thing!" he said
"That thing isn't Gods way!"
He left her there to bleed, bleed away their truth.
Then Aunty found her- treated her with love and tenderness.
Aunty begged her to say what happened, begged her to say who did it.
The girl wanted to tell her, she did, she really did.
But how could she tell Aunty that it was her father who did it?
How could she tell her that she was in love with her daddy?
Little did she know she grew up manipulated.
By a her sick bastard of a father who told her it was okay when he touched her there.

But it was in the past, the future was a new with her Aunty there.

Somehow here she was again, picking up her face from the ground.
Somehow, here she was again, shushing her sweet special baby who noticed her permanent frown.
Somehow, here she was again with her world turned upside down.
In her mind, with dignity, she knew what she had to do.
It was the best for her baby, best for her too.
Gently she scrawled a letter to Aunty, told her the full truth.
She rocked and held her baby, telling him nothing matters but what's inside of you.
She sang Nicky to sleep with a cheerful goodbye.
Layed him in Aunt's room where she knew he'd be safe, and blew him a kiss goodnight.
Dressed in her most favorite dress, one that she often imagined getting married in.
Wiped the blood, sweat, lies, pain, tears, and betrayal from her face.
It must be a beautiful death, she proclaimed, I will show my true face.
Taking a great amount of pills, she popped one in her mouth for each hardship if her life.
She layed down on her bed, prayed, then drifted into the darkness...

Aunty came home a hour later, awestruck from what she saw.
Called the medics and hoped for the best, but the worst had already came to pass...

Little Nicky grew up, and became the great Nicolas.
He ran a corporation in honor of his mother, and every day he would, repeat to himself, knowing the words rang true,
"Nothing matters, but what's inside of you. I love you too, mommy. I know you loved me too."


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