Oh how Is it fair
When all I have tried to do was to make you happy,
I bent over backwards for you,
I have crushed my feelings to try to prevent fights,
Slowly killing myself in my own mind.
Oh how is it fair
When I can’t get upset without you getting upset far worse,
Or when I have to walk on egg shells
When you have a bad day,
Worrying if we are going to fight,
Oh how is it fair
That I have to always take care of the children
Never getting a day off, a day to myself,
No, I always have to take the kids with me, giving you time away from them
I can never sleep in anymore because your sleep is far more precious than mine
Even tho I am awake all through the night with them.
How is it fair
That every night I ask you to make one midnight bottle,
You throw a fit, just like our toddler.
You get mad o easily, even when all things are well.
It’s not fair, that I do all that I do to be walked over,
It’s not fair that I constantly get barked at,
It’s not fair when I get so frustrated that I snap, and you make it all my fault,
It’s not fair that I have to raise three children instead of the two I have
It’s not fair that no matter what I do, I am in the wrong, even tho I am correct.
It’s not fair how poorly you have been treating me, yet you are too stubborn,
Most of all it’s not fair to my children,
They deserve the father that was promised to them in the womb
They deserve the loving man you used to be
They deserve the dad that cared better for other children instead of his own
They deserve more love, not yelling.
They are amazing, and very smart.
You only need to open your eyes
The 5 month old shouldn’t get yelled at for refusing to take his bottle,
Or when his little feet get in the way of a dirty diaper.
No, he’s too young to know better, he need love and compassion.
Or the 3-year-old that is completely amazing for his age,
And you yell at him for not going fast enough
Or not listening all the time
He is young, he need love and guidance.
You do not realize,
That your anger is affecting them too
You do not realize
That they will do the same thing to women in their lives
From the example you are giving them
You do not realize
that they act out more from the anger
when you can give them choices and they will learn.
You do not realize
That you are hurting us all, mentally,
Killing out compassion towards you every day
All because you wish not to take a pill everyday
You do not realize
that all the money you spent on lottery will hurt us,
when the children will need help someday
You will know
That when you constantly called me a nag
All I was trying to do was help
You will know
That all the times you told them to shut up or bugger off
That someday they will listen and not want to be near you
You will know
That I had tried, for so long, and will give up on you
For the hope I had in you is gone.
You will know
That I did love you once, but can’t any more
For each day, the way you treat me, kills me more and more inside
Until all I have for you is hate.
You will know
That all the times you controlled me,
Drove me more and more away from you.
You will know
That being stubborn was the wrong thing to do
Because not getting help, will result in losing your family
Losing all the ones that loved you for who you were.
For you cannot love
someone who has no trust
Who has nothing but the anger that was taught to him
You cannot love
Someone who isn’t willing to try
And fix the marriage for the sake of happiness.
Anger is all around us, some can control it, and others can’t
But know this it takes someone strong to get help
It takes someone strong to realize that they were wrong
It takes someone strong to fix the mistakes that were right in their face.
Get help because it doesn’t just affect you, if affects us all.
