Simultaneity
Time,
the moving image
of eternity
Having no
beginning
and no end
Confounding
every mind
that begs to question
Shaping
all there is
within its bend
(Dreamsleep: May, 2021)
Time,
the moving image
of eternity
Having no
beginning
and no end
Confounding
every mind
that begs to question
Shaping
all there is
within its bend
(Dreamsleep: May, 2021)
It was 4 am
I was half asleep
She was wide awake
I realized
That it’s not the grand gestures
Not perfection
That makes a relationship
Its those moments at 4 am
When you’re half asleep.
But she makes you feel fully alive.
No matter when the sunrises and sets the queen of all will still remain near,
The beauty of her grows, and flourish every single time we pass a year,
The days go by and others surround her telling her lies,
but she is not deceived by these demons, not a single day she cries,
for she knows her worth and sees herself for what she truly is,
the opinion of others do not bother her for she knows who she truly is,
so she stands tall and walks firm,
the whole earth shakes as they finally start to learn,
not only is she a queen, but she is a leader for something bigger than just her looks,
she is a leader who leads others out of failure and teachers them to stop becoming crooks,
they follow her lead every step of the way,
now she's the queen of helping others not stray
The Music Room
There once was a man at street 662. He played all his music in perfect tune. Every night his disturbed, yet still beautiful notes cascaded through the twisty, narrow streets.
The staccatos populated he eerily empty night time square with its dark, frost bitten, Norwegian air. The house of Jeremiah Xavier was situated right next to my abode.
I had never met my talented neighbor, but had heard he was quite eccentric. Not much of a surprise in my eclectic melting pot of a neighborhood which was complete with a crazy bird lady and a good share of alien theorists. This man, however, was particularly fascinating.
His night music is comparable to champagne for the ears, but only at night could this music be heard. I envision he's a hardworking man. Saw clicks and hammer beats are all that can be heard from his house in the day
You may wonder what makes Jeremiah Xavier so distinct and noteworthy. Why he isn't just another night musician. Well here is what lends to mine and my neighbors curiosity.
None of us could determine what instrument could make such a sweet and pristine sound. At first we decided he must be an instrument craftsman. This was to no avail. Rarely anything ever entered his squatting, wooden house. The exceptions were a few neighbors.
He must have a very moving message, because the 5 times my neighbors have visited the man they all decided to move away immediately without a goodby glance.
Whether he's a Juilliard trained specialty instrument musician, the creator of his of his own devices, or something else entirely I was curious.
Curiosity is like a bubble it may float around for a while but eventually it pops. It was a crispApril night that my curiosity was ready to burst. I heard saw screeches all day and new there was certainly a brand new instrument. The seductive harmony was incredibly precise and rhythmic. Most important in determining my latter actions was the fact that he was playing my favorite tune. I could not wait. I felt like the tune was meant to be my own personal sera ade, so I changed out of my pajamas and walked down the diminutive 10 foot stretch between my house and my neighbors.
There wasn't a doorbell only a door knocker fixed to look like a displaced jawbone, an odd style choice of course but I have learned not to question my neighbors choices. "Knock, knock"
I expected to wait long for him. I half hoped that he wouldn't come to open the door at all.
The fat rusty door, however, swung open with a screech shortly after I had knocked. It was as if he were expecting me and had been playing that particular song as a means of compelling me towards the small, ruddy, old house of his. I have never been a very fearful person but as I now am approaching the door my heart is jumping like a child on a trampoline or a trapeze artist.
Any chance of running back to my apartment fleeds as the symphonic music comes to a halt and I am shortly after greeted by a Greek looking man in his 40s. He acts as if I were a much expected guest. "Ready for your lesson," he inquires. By now I am utterly confused, but it was my curiosity that had brought me to Jeramaih's doorstep and it was this same driving force that made me answer, "yes."
He led me through the main entry way of a house more industrially suited than aesthetically so. Nothing, however, appeared out of the ordinary until, of course, we reached our final destination, an ornately decorated room complete with vineyard inspired wall paper. "This is the music room."
I search the room for whatever novel instrument sheds it's sound through the town each night. There are actually 5 instruments; all 5 are finished with a sanguine, ruby shade. One is shaped like a keyboard, another like a flute with ridges, another like a harp, the next like a piccolo, and still the next like a sort of scaffolded viola. My self given tour of the room ends with a question from my questionable host. "Do you play any instruments already?"
"I used to sing while I was younger, I have never played any instruments though."
"That is alright" he answers "the most beautiful sounds come from the human body." He nodded doctrinally as he told me this, closed the door and said "let's begin."
He starts out by saying a few words about each instrument, a few words that prompted innate fear in my self and ultimately a fight or flight response. This is what he said: "the woodwinds and whistles are crafted mainly from spinal chord, while the keyboard is primarily splinters of harder limb bones; I make all my strings from sinew."
Next, I ask a question to which I'm not sure I want an answer. "Which animal are these pieces from?"
"As I told you" he replies "the most beautiful sounds come from the human body." Anyone else I would have suspected to be lying or even laying down a dark joke, but there was a sense of disturbed passion and zealotry in the man's lit up eyes.
"Um, I have to go" I say.
"Just listen to my story and let me teach you a couple tunes. In no time you will be such a natural that you will no longer be playing the music, but you will rather be the music, sit." He pulled a couple small, black stools that had been camouflaged in the corner of the room. I sit knowing I have no alternate choice. He begins his story.
"Ever since I was a young boy I have had an affinity for music. It was my older brother, Kevin, who taught me my first instrument, the piano. The two of us couldn't have been closer. As I grew older I honed in on my art of music. I started adding a couple other instruments to my repertoire: the violin and the drums.
My childhood was transient. All of my most distinct memories consist of me and my brother exploring the forest by our house and singing songs that we crafted ourselves. Soon enough I would be on my way to Juilliard school of music. That is if the gold rush had never happened.
My brother was ambitious. He wanted to get rich. Just like the hundreds of other young American men, we made our way to Colorado in the hopes of striking it rich. We did.
My brother invested in this house we are in at this instant, imagining that it could be used as a sort of vacation home. I on the other hand bought a stratocaster and a brand new grand pianno. The wealth came, however, with significant risk and eventually significant loss.
It was about a week after my brother and I had found the trove of gold that made us rich, at least rich by our standards, that Kevin Xavier passed away.
For the first time in my life I could not feel the music. I could not push out the emotions I was feeling. My instruments were doing me no favors in tempering my emotions. I lit my new stratocaster and piano on fire in rage. I do not regret it. Formerly learned instruments were not now useless in appealing to the dark void left by my brothers death.
Desperate, I kept searching. I learned the harpsichord, the oboe, the piccolo, the mandolin; the list kept growing and growing. Soon I had learned over 20 instruments. All to no avail. Left without a means of releasing my tensions. I took to murder, something I once thought of as unspeakable, something I now know is inevitable.
It was the supervisor at the mine that we had worked whom I first killed. He had not saved my brother from the mine incident, so in a way he deserved it. Early America was quite disorderly. I was easily able to escape inconspicuously to Norway; it was no arduous task. This was not before I discovered something the equivalent of magic. I rediscovered music.
After I shot the supervisor he collapsed to the floor. It was the precise moment that his head jolted to the floor making a hollow echoing tone, that I immediately loved, that I re-found my sound. This is when the idea struck me. I would craft an instrument from his bones. What better way to recover from the death of my brother than by playing Mozart's fifth on his perpetrators spine.
The instrument was a success, but not nearly as good quality as the pieces I create these days. It was half percussive with a whistle like feature. When I left America I had to leave my invention. Imagine what customs might do if they realized the components of my creation.
When I moved here I began to create a collection. Those neighbors that 'moved' didn't move far. In fact they are right here."
He gestured to the instruments. "Now let's begin our lesson."
"Sir, I'm not sure I feel comfortable playing an instrument that required a person to die, no matter how beautiful it's sound is."
"Your choice, but remember play or be played."
From then on a duet was heard wandering through the town each night. Each note the constituent of a never ending story of notes that some diligently transcribe and others simply ponder. The arrangement was continued each night. During the day all that could be heard was the sound of hammers and saws. No supplies went in only the occasional neighbor.
The sounds continued; once in a while it sounded like the band had grown, but no one could know for sure. They could just listen, admire and be curious.
There once were men at street 662. They played all their music in perfect tune.
I fell in love with a man who lives in a world of black and white
Doesn't quite see something that isnt at sight
I stand in the front light to make sure that I shine, but my color's to bright almost seems to blind
And I scream and I shout to be noticed, but all that you see are those who don't bother to move out the surface
I fell in love with a man who lives in a world of black and white
Where my grey is too much and my laugh is too loud
Where the words that keep coming out of my mouth don't seem to do much, but go outta the clouds
Locked up inside in a world with no fight
Where my colors are chosen for they're either black or they're white
I keep thinking inside "what is love?" when i've been left with no choice
I either live in the shadows and keep it uptight or let go and hope the sun shines
The same fear that I felt when I was left with no air is the one present here for my being is overewhelmed
My person has been beaten right to the core where what I want to be and what I should be no longer beat different souls
I fell in love with a man that just views aesthetics
Where my heart doesn't matter and my brain might as well not function
Where a simple hellp might as well go unnoticed but some ass and some titties now that may just get some verses
Who am I? I AM someone who's heart haven't stop beating because of the purpose that hasn't been fulfilled yet. I AM someone who can do all things through Christ who stregthens me, but it's funny how I never understood the real meaning of that. You see, before I came into Christ, I was a nobody, trying to be a somebody with all the wrong reasons right beside me. Hanging around with drama 24/7, fussing and living under the devil's rules but not even realizing,, My life was in danger. Thinking that's just the way to live, didn't think life would get any better than this. I nevery knew who God really was, never knew what he was capable of. Till that one night, he spoke to me through a friend, and put the old me to a very end. I became a new creature, pure, having an identity in Christ. I AM someone who gives my God all the glory and praise, feeling unashamed because of who he is and what's he done. I AM still a work in progress but grateful for the person I've become..
I don’t see 2-D animation as much as I use to which makes me sad.
The media viewed it as kind obsolete and of course I am mad.
The creativity has been lost over the years this I have seen.
I only have a hand full of cartoons I like to watch.
But let me go back to my first spark, just
so you have some clarity of my
dream. In the genesis of
my creativity I would
observe my father.
he told me that the key
is persistence and patients
which at the time was a bother.
My childhood was called "The golden
years" because it was so sublime and carefree.
Watching Saturday morning cartoons was a must for me.
Beings a 90’s kid was freakin awesome Rugrats, Power Puff Girls,
and Batman Beyond.Looking back I don’t know why I didn’t notice it sooner.
Why did it take so long?
What I mean by that is my talent laid dormant until grade seven.It was a period
in of my life I’d daydream constantly It was my own heaven.A place I could
escape from my hormones.Being lonely was hard, I am shy and afraid
to show my personality.In class I would appear lifeless, quiet,
staring off into space much like a drone.In high school
work is so demanding having to balance
homework and art it’s quite
cumbersome.
English,
Mathematics,
Physical Science,
and Japanese it’s quite
numbersome Amongst all this
I am applying for scholarships.A
long painful struggle of writing essay and
entering sweepstakes. I can achieve my dreams
with the help of you sponsorship.My family keep encouraging
me to go to the beyond.Which enhancing my skills and creativity sharply.
A day not too long ago I’ll never forget an acceptance letter of my dream college.
It was the biggest ah-ha moment I’ve ever told myself.To construct my portfolio I’ve read books,
watched tutorials, and studied pictures to acquire knowledge . After all that I can learn my new portfolio will be my ticket. All I need is that an opportunity to finally approach to the door to turn the knob. I’ll work for some years then branch off and do my own thing.
That when the path shift to my true goal.The experience and the
creativity is what will make my wings
To share the world with my dreams.
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I always cried myself to sleep to release the pain
And that's when poetry became my everything
A young teenage girl lost in the world full of emotions and fears
So at night her pillows are soaked a face full of tears
Her parents don't and won't understand her so why even try
A guy breaks her heart in a blink of an eye
She hides behind her pen and paper because that's her therapy
Because for once in her life she said "It's OK to be"
When I write my dear poetry she doesn't speak back
Criticize, put me down, or any of that
She just sits there all pretty in between her crispy blue lines and space
And allows me to scribble, doodle, and even erase
When I'm hurt when I'm scared when I've lost my soul
I can even rip her up, destroy her, start a new return to an old
She allows me to express myself in every shape and form
My comfort buddy in the night
No lamp just a mini flash light
In the mist of a storm
She allows me to escape the reality of the struggling girl
Like long night shifts at work, money issues, transportation, or just everyday remorse
She doesn't even complain when I babble about a hard college course
But one thing she has done is been there through it all the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful that not everyone could see
The different forms and shapes of me
So I thank her and love her for allowing me to be me
She knows I'm not perfect and from the naked eye anyone could see
But from the beginning, the middle, and even the end
She will always be like a best friend
MY EVERYTHING...
Tonight Dear father, I put aside my greed.
To pray for those who really are in need.
For the children crying,
beaten black and blue.
I hope they get the chance,
to live and fulfill their youth.
For the man,
sweaty dirty on the streets.
I hope he soon is welcomed,
into warm and comfy sheets.
For the children in poor countries
with no food, nor water
to live a long life,
and raise their own son and daughter.
I pray for the sick or ill
who fight their battle daily
that they may heal from their disease bravely.
I pray for ungodly people,
who have wandered away from you.
I pray that they will hear your word
and realize what is true.