I began to feel it,

that switch,

that sets off the domino effect,
picking my skin raw,
crying bloody tears,
suicidal fantasies.
The breaking, cracking, stinging
of a mind lost to madness,
crimes of the heart 
and sins of the soul,
I'd shred myself into pieces
and watch myself swirl
slowly down the drain
if I could just get it right.
Life becomes a horror movie,
black and white,
but soon to be red all over.
Swinging on the bipolar playground,
along with imaginary friends,
whose bones ache just like mine,
and when dusk comes,
the park will not close,
it will fill violently,
with my dreadful and frightening thoughts
and those around me will shiver,
at just the sight of my ragged,
filthy delusions.
And when I'm gone,
you'll know the sting of this thing,
this disgusting yearning for an end
of every day of my life
or lack thereof,
but dont cry swollen tears,
rejoice and know I wanted this,
all of this,
and it's all gone now.


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