there’s been so many times where i debated whether or not i should manifest you back into my life, but honestly? i really wouldn’t know what to say to you after years of being apart. i did it when i was feeling miserable and desperate back in 2018 and it worked but i’m scared that if i try to do it again you won’t like the person i turned into. but i’m still the girl you met back in march. i’m still the girl who would drown herself in pints of ice cream to the point where i’d get sick and have you scold me for doing so. i’m still the stupid girl who would stay up late for you while you were in the shower only to tell me that you were going to sleep after you got out. i’m just scared that we won’t connect and bond over everything and anything again. i’m scared you’ll still be hesitant to let me in.

so maybe it’s just best if i just let it go. but it’s so fucking hard.