The Pictures

I didn't want to admit it, but I cried myself to sleep every night this week because of you,

And I know that it is going to continue, no matter what I try and do.

I so badly wanted to believe that you cared, and I genuinely thought it to be true,

And then my birthday came around, and I didn't hear a single word from you.

More than anything, it hurt because it shows me that you don't even care about me as a friend,

And as bad as I don't want it to be, I realized that this is where our story must end.

I can't even say that you didn't know, because I know that you did, but I guess you just didn't care,

But I was giving you so much of me, while you didn't give me anything, and I realized that that's not fair.

And I guess I finally realized that if you wanted to, you would, but my heart still aches for what I thought we could become,

But now I feel like there is an empty space in my chest, and lately it just feels as if I have become numb.

I hope you know that I love you, and there is a piece of me that always will,

And if I ever do find someone else, I know that that piece is one that only you can fill.

For the past three years, the hopeless romantic kept believing that this would be a love story that we would get to tell,

But I finally realized that you couldn't care less, and that I was truly the only one that fell.

It's been only two days since I talked to you last, but it seems so much longer,

And it hurts because I know that they say that distance can only make the heart grow fonder.

As much as I want to, I know I can't reach out to you because it is only going to continue to cause me harm

Because no matter how much I don't want to see it, I still see your smile everywhere and remember your sweet charm.

I still have the pictures, the ones that you don't even know I have, and I hate to admit it, but I look at them everyday,

And it breaks my heart because I finally realized that the things I had hoped for are never going to turn out that way.

And I still don't know what I am going to do if I ever happen to run into you,

Because I am afraid that I will give you a hug like I have done before, but I know that is something that I shouldn't do.

I already have it planned out to turn and walk away and to tell you that "I have to go,"

But I wonder if deep down you'll know that that is all just part of a show.

I'll wonder if in that moment it will hit you how much you hurt me, and how much you meant to me,

But the other part of me knows that you already knew that, and it won't change anything in the things that you continue to see.

I wonder if you'll let me walk by, and walk out of your life forever, or if you'll ask me if everything is okay,

But I can't say what I'll do, so I guess I'll have to keep on waiting for that day.

I still look at the pictures every night, and seeing your face makes me cry,

Because I still so badly wanted to believe that you would be willing to give us a try.

I am learning to live without you, and it still breaks my heart,

Because you were the only one that I had ever loved right from the start.

It kills me inside knowing that me and you need to be done,

Because I so badly wanted it to be you, and I geuinely thought you were the one.   

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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