That night you died

There are some old notes at the back of my closet.

I haven't been able to get rid of them yet.

There is a rusted ring at the bottom of a cup holder.

And a bunch of letters inside a folder. 

And I remember you holding on to the wheel.

Just like I held on to the way you made me feel.

you had your hand tightly on the shifter...

Like I kept all of our pictures. 

Should have been a bit more further then this by now.

Maybe i should have turned around.

But I didn't, so l was stuck...

All the way in that rut.

I lived in what used to be.

Cherishing every memory.

Looking back on everything that we had.

 

Holding on to words we can't take back.

 

I remember waiting by the phone,

 

all alone cause your love was all i have ever known.

 

I was drunk off hope,

 

drinking away every day I had to cope.

 

I remember you saying I was the one.

 

And how nothing could change that, but I guess you were wrong.

 

Once upon a time you made everything feel right.

 

You used to be my morning , noon , and night.

I watched my life flash before my eyes.

 

And it was no surprise,

 

that the moment we met came to mind.

 

But it was time to leave it all behind.

One last look you gave me before I blanked out.

"The one person I couldn't live without."

  thought to myself before we crashed.

The shattered glass, and the front of the car completely smashed.

Blood dripping from your head and lip.

Smoking car, and a broken hip.

Car door completely dented into me.

Leg stuck under the seat, and bleeding.

I convinced myself that, you did not make it through.

Because has hard as it was , I was still madly in love with you. 

 

Like the left behind colors when the sun is gone.

I was still holding on.

Took you out of my mind and soul.

That  way you would no longer have control.

Stuck in a little car together, side by side.

And although it didnt happen,i convinced myself that night you died.

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741