I want to die.
It's been a while since I said that out loud
The screaming voices of the world have sworn me to secrecy
But it’s true.
I’m not afraid to say it
Not afraid to accept the inevitable
I suppose this is part of the problem
To breathe with lungs full of oil
Dripping from my lips like liquid sadness
Pouring from my eyes like the tears I used to know how to cry
Tears I used to care enough to cry.
Am I broken?
Is this the shell of a sunken ship?
Too deep to decompose,
The water is rising and I’m still stuck inside
Banging my fists at the hull
Scratching til blood to avoid the impending doom
Or am I a sailor whose soul was never saved
Drifting under tangles of seaweed like my hair in the morning
Don’t pretend that this is news
That I haven’t begged for a hand to pull me out
Or a life-preserver to keep me afloat
As always though, we turn away
Ignore the cries
Ignore the writings on the wall like the bullets in my fist
Cause at the end of the day it’s all in my head isn’t that right?