A time to be alive, but I am out of time.

I can understand your pain but for this I cannot change.

This all appears the same, day after day. 

Life replays, I do not want to stay.

Nothing is ever different, every day is just sadder and sadder.

Through ecstasy and depression it's all a pattern.

I wrap these bandages around my arms, wondering when next I will harm.

As I sit and wonder, does my mother still hover.

My eternal rest prevents me from saying I love her.

I don’t choose to be ignorant, but my solitude is a virtue and I feel dependant.

Let me breathe through the clouds I cannot see, for I am not able to leave.

I don’t know if I'm okay.

Insane, I cannot change.

I cry and I complain, but am I ever really okay.

Or is it the music I listen to and the games I play

that causes me to act this way. 

 

I cannot trust myself, because this feeling is too real. 

And still I sit and write and nothing appears to be clear.

And I try not to lie about the state of my mind, but still I try. 

I try to keep it in and I try to hide, but my face is the snake that opposes my time. 

And through these clouds I cannot see, for my time is near and I can finally breathe.

But clouds do not linger eternally, and my emotions should not be taken literally.

My vision isn't literal, but this feeling is visceral. 

And please, I request that you consider how the reaper delivers.

He will make you shiver and taste the dirt that's bitter.

So close your mouth as to not taste that bitter dirt. 

And close your eyes to blind yourself from being hurt. 

Because nobody turns an eye to someone who doesn't learn. 

Call me a fool for believing in you.

But the mirror tells lies and the walls speak truth.

If it weren’t for language, my honesty would be loose. 

And ere one can say it lightens.

For this sweet good night has come to an end, and so the sun appears.

He is my friend. 

 

 

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