Relapse

Location

30319
United States
33° 52' 23.142" N, 84° 20' 18.3444" W

Tears stream down my face as my mind begins to scatter
Feelings of hopelessness overwhelm my being
Depression is no longer a word, it’s a part of me
I can’t breathe

How can one loathe oneself but love oneself simultaneously?
Respecting myself enough to not throw my body around
But despising everything about me
Literally, below nothing

My emotions are forced to be suppressed
Suppressing emotions, repressing memories
Memories of self-harm and attempts to fade
Desires to not go back to that state

Anxiety
The unknown scares me
Desires of the simplicity of life
Desires of pure happiness

No longer myself, I have become it
The monster -- depressed, self-loathing, insecure, self-harming
Reality is real
Reality is hell

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