Abuse
Learn more about other poetry terms
Sometimes the one you thought your friend
will threaten you or reveal some secret shame
this is where you need
ignore their threats cos their running scared
yes it's hard and if you can't step forward yet
I think when someone hurts you
it's a strange thing
that they suggest it's your fault
and leave you with the shame
that everyone will despise you if they
knew what you'd been through
Hi there just want to say
don't message,like or comment cos
you don't know who might read it
or anything about me.
dont trust my " friends" or followers
Please remember what I said
Hey I found out that Childline is really cool
it's got so much there for help and fun
to express yourself and calm down
you don't have to say anything about yourself
Until this last hour or so
I did not understand the truth
my head spun in circles
but now I have the proof
I trusted the innocent
the friendliness the vunerable
Stood there and took the bullet
I never asked you
To go
I never told you
To go
I asked you
To stay
I've told you
To stay
I've heard the
Protests
I've heard your
Screams
Blue has become his
Favorite color
While she paints the
Roses red
She splashes red on his
Blue shirt
And he pours a cup
Of blue down her
Throat
I remember the
Interrogation room,
Cold, damp, and gray.
As I looked around
With cuffs on my
Hands, noticing the
Eye of the camera
Documenting each
Move I would make.
I remember the
Snow Globe,
A world so
Small yet vast
In wonder,
I remember the
Blizzards that
Kept us in the
Dark Cabin,
Where the angels
Flew in pools
I'll bring over
The glass
And by your Achilles
Heel, may the glass
Be broken
How many arrows
Must you shoot
All over my swollen
Body before
You hit me
In my heel
I'm sorry I broke
Your Glass
I'm sorry I dropped
Your Glass
I'm sorry I didn't clean
Your Glass
I'm sorry I shined
Your Glass
Your Glass
Was worth a fortune
King Lear puts
His fist down
With an iron
Force so strong,
It wakes up the
Citizens, bright and
Early, at 6 A.M.
SHARP! To make
their bed, brush their
teeth, get dressed, and
I hate that you aren't
Here,
Yet I love that you
Are gone.
I hate that you have
Died,
Yet I love that you
Are dead.
I hate that you lost
She flew into the cage.
Her feathers were plucked
One
By
One
So she could not fashion a quill
So you've gotten
The dream you've desired
A big house,
A big car,
A husband,
And some food and water
But did you really get what you've wanted?
Now two kids
They come your way
They hear your muffles and screams
But they don't come for help
They see the apple in your mouth
But they won't take it out
They see the binding ropes
But they won't untie them
They see you naked
Reach out with the
Flint of your knife
And circumcise my brain
Only then, only then
Can you, my love
Make me sane
Does it seem to matter then?
Will it seem to matter then?
If you
Kiss me like that
I won't be able to breathe
If you
Love me like that
Will I be able to scream?
He speaks to me in riddled tongues
How could you possibly do this?
All the ways you’ve brought me pain,
I know I can turn the blows to a near miss—
All the while going limp like a dropped chain.
Don’t you see you’re scarring me?
You say you love me,
and I think that's true,
But you don't love me
more than you love you.
If I was worth more to you than your pride,
maybe then you would have apologized.
THE LAST STRAW
Time and time again I gave her chances to make it right
Having her in denial or putting up an argumentative fight
Every time that she would hurt me
Looking past it I would to do naturally
"Hush
hush"
The silence kills me
Pin drop. Cold and haunting,
It claws at my throat,
screeches gainst my hollow ribs,
tears my bloodied heart apart.
My mouth opens.
You're sick in the head, your entire being is dark as nightHow can you do the things you do and think its right?
Walking down the block
It's like any other day really
They say "Don't worry bout the guys strolling there"
"They don't do shit"
Nobody really ever listens until you're at your lowest.
Until you start ignoring other people.
And then all of a sudden you're the bad guy.
All of a sudden, every little inconvenience is your fault,
A smile is illicit in this city
Where policemen hang their hats
On the beaten bodies of little boys
And bribes
And just not giving a shit about whoever
Whatever
It's not their problem
Trauma layer cakeCrack your teeth and give you A stomachacheBefore your shift at the Holiday InnBeading customer complaints out your skin
Accepting what we cannot change only works
When what we cannot change is acceptable
Otherwise, there is misery or apathy
But don't you dare be serene
Accepting what we cannot change only works
When what we cannot change is acceptable
Otherwise, there is misery or apathy
But don't you dare be serene
They've given up on me
And I on them
Ordering my days by
How to best pretend
We stand a chance
Selfishly numbing what
I can't takeOf their circumstance
I hate myself
I think jesus hates me too
I’ve taken a bite of the forbidden fruit and it tastes like blood
Maybe I’ve just been holding my tongue too long
I’m a whore who turned her back on the church
Sometimes when I’m alone I cry.
The tears that come from my eyes
They are more bitter than unsweetened cocoa.
I cry because I have a soft heart
I was bred into chaos and catastrophe
Torn down by hands that were meant to raise me
Can't face the truth so they turned their backs perpetually
Lest I remind them that they should feel guilty
My relationship with my mother
Has been a series of trust falls
And she's never once caught me
.
But I keep leaning backwards
And hating myself
When I inevitably hit the ground
.
You are the enemy of love and light
You are the enemy of trust
You take the form of all you hate
You take advantage of lust.
I am hurting in ways I can't tell
I am afraid of your touch
Some of you have never had to
Walk home with your head on a swivel
Your hands clutching keys
Your head filled with fear
Some of you
Have never had to wonder
If you’ll make it home in one piece
Isn't it funny how sometimes
The fear doesn't come until the danger's already passed?
.
But then it hits you, all at once,
As if to try to make up for it
For letting it's guard down
Mais do que você me despreza
Mais do que você me diz bobagem
Mais do que você me abusa
The first thing I remember loving was my cat-
My first best friend.
And my baby brother,
And dinosaurs.
-
I loved my stuffed animals,
And worms on the sidewalk.
I loved the people in movies,
You made me feel gross
You think I don't remember
But what you don't know
Is that I will live with this pain forever
On my body I make cuts
Cuts to carve away at parts that feel
It's funny how the brain works,
Suddenly reminding me of the abuse I unconsciously tried to forget.
Leaving me alone with the feelings of guilt and regret.
This body that no longer feels safe
With a heart that carries great ache
Your dirty hands make me sick
The thought makes me shake
This body no longer feels mine
My body dirty and disgusting
On top of a mountain,
We will meet-
Like chalk stains and the rinsing of knuckles.
Tonight a salamander has slayed a dragon.
Is that really us?
What happened to our graphic tees?
The white tube socks?
Do we always cuff our jeans now?
How do you make it look that neat?
We never really do neat
Or I guess we never used to.
We used to write, you and I,
When I was too small to grasp
The world or anything in it,
And you were afraid
Of what I would find if I knew;
So I waited by the mailbox
For your watchful answers.
When I was small, I was told to smile
Or else I could never be loved,
So I smiled.
When my uncle died,
They said I was too young to grieve,
So I smiled.
it felt like screaming until your throat went raw,
fighting for your breath under an 80-pound weight,
or purposely breaking your own bones.
that, my dear, is what love felt like before you
I don't know why I keep writing to you
Like I'm sending letters to someone in prison
-
As if you were the one who's been trapped
Ever since that day
-
They say that justice brings peace,
Stumbling through the rape
Over and again
I'm stunned by your lack of humanity
Your lack of feeling
My lack of numbness
Your embracing it
I don't understand how you could do that
Roses are black,
Violets are blue,
Like the hue of my skin
Since I got stuck on you.
Your soul is still black,
My heart is still blue,
But I got away,
I hope they do too.
Never to bed, early to rise
Adds to the rings beneath my eye
The gray and purple, these colors shine through
You'd call them your favorites if you had them too
No rest for the wicked's what I always said
Can I be your dog?
Fed a bowl of cigarettes
in the stale morning,
bowl of you at night.
I'll wag my tail when you're home,
follow you around.
Can I be your dog?
You’d think I'd be over it by now.
I forgave him so long ago.
But how do I forgive myself?
How do I move on, when I can’t.
Live by memory
Wander and haunt within
As a ghost you kill
As a man, you impress.
Snow couldn’t purify you
hot summer sunrays
a flower growing between cracked cement
behind an abandoned house
after the animal activist event
he ravaged my body
and took my innocence
only sixteen,
They promised it'd get better.I told them I believed them.It's been 3 or 4 years.And I still don't see a thing.For who am I doing this?This hasn't been worth it.I'm waiting and waiting.I'm not allowed to say I'm not strong enough, I've come all th
is this abuse? if it wasn't before
you tell me i'm invalid
a monster
a cruel being to this beautiful world
you brought me in , you can take me out
threats,
how obscure
Sometimes
The most painful reckoning
Is to stare in the eyes of the sinner
And watch them smile and pretend
As if they've never burned you
So Let Me Quickly Advise That This Set of Rhymes...
Has Repetitive Lines For Those Who Don’t Like...
......... Reading Verse of This Type ............ !!!
So How Many More Times Will Humans Act Surprised...
This Ain’t... “ Away In A Manger “... !!!!!!
There REALLY Is... DANGER...
When You’re NOT A TRUTH SAYER... !!!!
... "Wait a sec there playa’ !“...
There was a time where seeing you felt like home.
I wasn't in love with you, nor am I now,
But you were as my brother, I tried giving you a home, a family,
She wore tragedy like a fine diamond
And her court were tiny dolls
So easily broken;
The queen of jilted hearts and plastic pearls.
Begging with your strong fingertips
You grasped into my vacant soul
For dear life
Your eyes screamed for my body
A stare so heavily
It burnt the clothes off my body
Reckless, you left my heart
Hiding in mundane scenes of normality, somebody's vacant kitchen feels like it could never feel like home to anyone, it's haunted by the living
Born to be unloved.
Made to be broken.
It’s tough love and shoves.
Quick slaps whenever miss spoken.
Made to be broken.
I want edges in my jaw like ice
And I want you to cut yourself upon them
I want words in my mouth like venom
And I want you to poison yourself on my kiss
I want light in my eyes like sunshine
She broke you
So many times
That after awhile you couldn’t
Feel a goddamn thing
So I cried for you
And you couldn’t understand why
I have a simple question to ask first to my mother,
when you look up at the stars, what do you see?
Do you think of yourself?
Just as I think of myself?
"I have already lost touch with a couple of people I used to be." ~ Joan Dideon
My Father is a Beast
Ap Dorji is a father of mine,
With whom I live in a tiny town,
The beer stinking beast crawls home on four,
By: Jaiden
I´ve always been a boy
I just couldn’t be without getting hurt
Held done in my coffin-like hiding space
It’s none of your business!
Interjected quickly and often,
Becomes an all too familiar sound
But those five words can’t soften,
So Nowadays It Seems That WE Should All BELIEVE...
That ONLY Presidencies That Now Rule CURRENTLY...
Are Those FILLED With ..... EXTREMES ...... !?!
I found a flower on the ground today. It was purple- an artist would go as far as to call it lilacand I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Neglect
Abuse
Abandonment
The beginning of our undoing.
Separation
Deprivation
Time
Look at you.
The blame is all yours.
You should have kept your mouth shut.
This is your fault.
You should have suffered in silence.
The one that comes after you will be trustworthy
He will be honest with me
But I won’t believe him because
I won’t understand it
When you turn up the loving it heals the broken parts of me.
You create a love so strong it takes my sight, it’s blinding.
Feels so damn good, there has to be something special about me.
Now My Name’s NOT Shaggy...
But It’s Clearly NOT ME Who Will EVER Be...
A Star Like Those Who Hold BIG Shows...
Where Droves And Droves of People Go... !!!
I’m not a toy to be played with, become bored, then discarded.
Can’t even say good morning, this mess is retarded.
I fail to see love in those brown eyes reflecting back at me.
Revolving door, I guess I’ve come back for more of course.
Spirit numb and heart can’t take much more.
Only takes a smallest of gestures to have me banging on your door.
Begging, pleading for just a little more.
How do I believe that or whole relationship was fake?
An act to get close to me, never give, only take.
I’ve done the research, such much sounds shockingly familiar.
Words described you to a tee, seems clear, yet unclear.
Deja Vuvu, I'm alone and you're out doing you.
Only difference is that there are no tears being shed over the absence of you.
Heart numb from repeating the same things needed, but dismissed.
I‘m holding the keys, I'm driving this car.
Played games, pushed me way too far.
I’m setting higher standards, and raising the bar.
New beginning for me, mind my business from afar.
Disrespect at an all time high, I hate myself for loving you the way I do.
Periodically ghosted and ignored as if I don't matter to you.
Your word means nothing, empty promises the norm.
Remember that time you tried to hurt me?
That day when you put your hands on me?
That day when you took away what was once so precious?
What possessed you to rip away the soul of a child?
That kid was so innocent.
BWOY This DISRESPECT Thing’s...
..... Really INTERESTING ..... !!!
Many CLAIM Disrespect...
Because of TRUTH Said That Upsets Their Heads... !?!
Well In My Experience These Heads Are DELIRIOUS... !!!
all i could think about
when he pushed his way inside of me
was his enchanting stories of a better life
i am the sun --
bright and joyous,
rarely clouded,
warm and friendly,
unknowingly smothering.
he is the moon --
cool and collected,
i feel so weak.
i am a beggar pleading for change
from a man whose hands i'm afraid will never give to me again.
i only yearn for those few small tokens of affection.
he grabs my heart, clutching it as hard as he can.
his words stab every vessel, each cut deeper than the next.
"i thought it would go away."
me too.
but it hasn't.
you are blue in its dullest and brightest forms.
you are the sky, throwing your arms open above me with no clear idea of what you're trying to reach.
no matter where i'm looking, i always see you.
you are every shade of blue imaginable.
you rush in like the waves of the ocean, never fully satisfied sitting in one place.
you suck me into your embrace until i feel like i can't breathe,
Taking The Train Is NOT Quite The Same...
Cos' I'm Now A DANGER In IDIOTS Brains'... !!!
Time And AGAIN...
It's The OLD... " Same Ol' Same "... !!!!!
The perfect family lives down the street from me. The mom is so sweet. She doesn’t judge me when I yell at my kids. They live in the green house with a long driveway. They have a boy and a girl and two dogs.
You're leaving
The broad expanse
of your back
is the gallery
where I 'II hang my dreams.
Always on your way
Out
When will I
go with you?
I'll behave
like you want
You're leaving
The broad expanse
of your back
is the gallery
where I 'II hang my dreams.
Always on your way
Out
When will I
go with you?
I'll behave
like you want
Can you soothe a black hole if its matter
Is made of hate? Gravitational field
Strong as blood and as painful as laughter.
So consumed with itself it cannot yield.
I am three and I am shakingSqueezing my eyes shut to the dust and the sun and the cold tile andI am in the cornerBreathing heavyI want it to stop
Let's connect to reality;
turn off the electricity,
lie in the silence that
invades us.
I'll hear you for lack of
the other sounds that
made us
bearable, one to the other.
He wraps his sore hands around an ice cold beer
Bartender asks how'd you make your way here?
He could barely hold back the tear rolling down his face
He has tried everything to stay out of this place
I feel dead inside
When will the crippling fear end?
Am I a lost cause?
Could I have changed the course?
I could have told them
I let them believe the lie
If only they knew
Parents, teach your daughters.
Don't let them walk through life
Like this broken girl before you.
Who did not know her rights to leave,
To let that word, No, so bitter on her tongue, pass through her lips.
I am from moving boxes scattered, littered on hallway floors
From unpaid utility bills, arguments and slamming doors
I am from tax return Christmas gifts and food stamp Thanksgivings
*THIS POEM contains bad words and other nasty, gritty, poo-poo.
DONT read if you are easily disturbed or young.
The dark eyed mom is here again.
I hope she’s not here to stay.
There will be no meals or good-time feels
And no, This mom don’t play.
You, my dear, are nothing special.
No more significant than the dust
On your unread books.
No more important than the stale
Ambition in your eyes,
Or the grey clouds in the sky.
I never said stop, but I never said go.Now people at school call me a hoe.What was I supposed to do?
Small delicate fragile bodies that drip from the tip of the tongue
Of the dog who lays underneath the
Miles of death and decay- who gently
Lays them in their graves.
I would rather hate you then love the idea of you.
That's the world I've been inhabiting for the last few months.
My stream has emptied into the sea of your emotions,
and I am tossed around in the malestrom of your moods.
You are the wind
which batters the trees
hitting harder and harder
while I fall with ease
You are the thunder
which shatters the silence
screaming louder and louder
destroyed my defense
You are the wind
which batters the trees
hitting harder and harder
while I fall with ease
You are the thunder
which shatters the silence
screaming louder and louder
destroyed my defense
I was 3… how could you do that to me? “This is our little secret” you would say. Didn’t you know they would find out one day? Because of you, I grew up too fast. Because of you, I can’t forget the past. I knew that what was happening was wrong...A
I was 3… how could you do that to me? “This is our little secret” you would say. Didn’t you know they would find out one day? Because of you, I grew up too fast. Because of you, I can’t forget the past. I knew that what was happening was wrong...A
you love me.you love me.you love me?
love is a broken boomerangheavy from despiratation.and of course it would be,what could possibly reach my expectations?
Why did you stay so long
when we begged you to leave?
Do you wish you had listened
to us years ago when we told you
he scares us?
You stayed for your kids is what you
said in June,
I can still feel his breath
on the back of my neck
just as humid, unwanted,
as it was
on yours.
The look in his starving eyes
We were just friends
But it wasn’t meant to be
I loved you
But you didn’t bother with me
Left me on read
I remember the smell.
His hand against my mouth
The dirt and grease
That will always be lodged in my memories
i want to make my hatred large and whole . if i wasn’t a coward I’d take those solid cow balls & slice them, separately off as everyone watched. i’ve already planned what i’d do for a pleasurable Kill, a slow soft ending.
it’s okay to talk about things
it’s okay to speak
i’m begging you
to wear your heart
on your sleeve
and your tongue
it’s easy to be lonely
in the lights of this city
wondering why you can never look me in the eyes
when you tell me that im pretty
“i never knew a mind could be so dark”
well i, i have never known a mind so light
flower petal eyelashes
flower garden you
growth sprouting from your palms
do you remember the fireworks
back then
when we hid behind purple walls
praying they wouldn’t see
the clouds of lavender smoke
that our passion
What is real
What is fake
How much more
Can you take
Do you look back
Can you still see
The person that
You used to be
A Tribute to My Mother || Written 2 Years Ago
You have painted flowers on my spine
Twisted your love into my ribcage
Shattered my aching bones, I am you
it was as though he was helium,
and I just happened to be an empty balloon.
often we found nothing but tedium,
blood colored stains under my skin
left from the pressure under your finger tips
pinning me down with love
because i dont believe its true if it doesnt hurt
"You're like a roller coaster. And I want off."
His words still linger in the back of my mind, the way his hands used to linger at the bottom of my spine. Unwelcome, yet so intoxicating. Uninvited, yet so addicting.
The laugh, the voice
My mind can't place it
So familiar, yet so far away
Two strangers lie intertwined
Bodies bare and warm
Like a small pool of summer amidst the winter storm
Carefree and open...
With the light shining on my face,
You told me I look full of grace.
When I flared my nose while I was upset with you,
You told me it was me you wanted to pursue.
When I cried about something so small,
Smoke to ease the pain away just for a little bit
My brain moving at the speed of light I be thinking ‘bout some real shit
The feelings of depression falling over my shoulders with that blanket feeling
They expect me to stand here in silence to find worth in how they deprived me of who I truly was .
Head under water
Held in place, trapped
I'm losing my breath
Held in place, trapped
Still, you keep me there
Held in place, trapped
It is all my fault
Held in place, trapped
Well CLEARLY Ruth Kelly ....
Something's ... A Bit SMELLY ... !!!
Employment For PERVERTED Sorts ... !?!
Now Then Dear Ruth What Is The TRUTH ... ?!?
It's Time For Scores ... Say CERTAIN LORDS ... !!!
don't touch me again. get your tiny, sweaty hands off of me
i want your Axe body spray smell mixed with B.O. out of my nose
i can never go to the park again
not after what happened on the bridge
BEFORE YOU READ THIS PEOM INVOLVES RAPE
Look down
Keep your phone out
"Take" a call
That way he won't go after you.
Don't look
Don't smile
Don't laugh
How Many Is A Simple Question ... !!!!
How Many Now Require DETENTION ... ?!?
How Many Times Do We See Crimes ...
But Then Incline To Turn ... "Blind Eyes" ... ?!?
I cried when you left but not for the reasons you think,
I no longer had to deal with you and at first I believed it to stink,
You and I had so much history,
But the reasons shouldn't have come as a big mystery,
If You LIKE Coc' REMEMBER This Quote ... !!!
You May One Day Just End Up Broke ... !!!
COCAINE Gives Lows As Well As ... " Highs " ...
And Has DESTROYED Some Peoples' Lives ... !!!!!
Sickened
I find myself
Unsettled
By who
I swore
I would never become
She would never
Hurt me
Not like that
I tell them
Bruises
Internal
I learned early
my body is a weapon
Regardless of my intentions
it would be treated as such
With hungry eyes
I'd be blamed for someone else's actions
Traversing the brim of ill determination
stuck walking in eternal night
Existing only in those rusted hallows
purely pursued out of spite
I've Just Read A Poem ...
About ... " Child ABUSE " ... !!!
It's Touched Me So Deeply ... !!!
I'm Now Feeling ... BLUE ... !!!!
It's Filled Me With SADNESS ...
And FILLED ME With MADNESS ... !!!!!
I'm Being ... ABUSED ... !!!
I'm Being ... ACCUSED ... !!!
These Days I Feel Cheated ...
Because I'm MISTREATED .... !!!!!
My Job Is A PAIN ... !!!
It's A STRAIN On My Brain ... !!!
Behind closed doors she hides herself
and what she has become,
the cuts, the bruises,
the angry words said -
that should never be undone.
But luckily she lives and so forgives "Him"
What's With People These Days ?
Societal Decay ....
Is On Constant Display ... !!!
So What Do You Stand For ... ?
At The End of The Day ... ?!?
Do You Stand For ABUSE ...
From Ignorant Youth ... ?!?
Some Youth Are SO RUDE ... !!!
Their Language Is Crude ... !!!
And Most Have A PROBLEM ...
Ghosts fade in the wind
Savage beast with human skin
Sing and rejoice
As the king makes his choice
Children muted by fate
Bruises taint their small gait
do you know the word home?
do you know what it means?
do you know what it
smellstastessounds
like?
do you know what it
feels
Rape Culture
I was raped.
He took it all away.
And what could Athena do?
I do not blame her. She gave me power.
Like emotion and color
Time is a lie
It puts into perspective
Death and Life
Black and White
Night and Day
barely a woman at all, at 14
i began a search for love. to prove to myself that
i could be loved.
i began a search for a feeling. to feel anything.
I died my hair bright red the other day;
now my curls are poisonous snakes.
Twisting, turning, tangling.
We know that in nature, bright colors mean posionous.
Her face is like the midnight sky.
The whites of her eyes are half moons,
and the stars escape when she cries.
I hope she doesn''t anytime soon,
but I've tagged her with graffiti constellations,
You aren’t ready to hear what I have to say
But I wasn’t ready to find out, so I’ll tell you anyway.
The past decade has done nothing but brainwash my heart and my soul
I did nothing but what I was told
Jinx knew she was in trouble when she saw his name flash across her screen.
He, the almightly nail-painter, combat-boot-wearer, bipolar feelings-fucker,
he needed her.
I mean, she was assuming that's what this was about.
I can walk into an all-you-can-eat buffet,
and my brain will light up like a gambling addict's.
Numbers running in my brain,
neon signs floating above plates counting fat and carbs and sugar,
I was twelve and rebellious,
far from God and home at curfew,
and my mother worried.
Of course, the logical way for any modern mother to solve her daughter's issues-
Cause things got so much harder on the west coast.
When i moved here i realised i needed you most.
One week i had a lover, the next, a ghost.
If castle doors my hands did crack
Pound palms till blood burst
Smashed on stone walls like pumpkin
It was all of my own invention
Time is passing,
still procrastinating.
With much to endeavor,
won’t last forever.
Dream so wild,
yet aspects mild.
One moment in time,
A thoughtless rhyme.
After: The White Man’s Burden by Kipling 1899After: Cool Hand Luke by Stuart RosenburgAfter: Preamble to the Constitution of the United States
It's not fair,
It's not right,
I lost power,
I lost might.
One's eight
Who can't skate
One's two
Who never knew.
The little one's
Not yet one,
He just wants
To have fun.
Sometimes I feel like
A caged animal longing to be free
Knowing if I flee
That he'll come after me.
My thoughts are not mine,
I belong to him.
My ways I can't have,
He won't allow them.
We've turned into monsters
Said we never would
Saw it shown on t.v.
Said it never could.
It could happen to you
I heard them all say,
Never say never
'Cause never's today.
Speckled shadows on my collarbonesWhere your greedy hands wrote your name,Where my selfish whispers angered you,My desperate pleas denied youThe prize buried deeply in my chest
I still remember in vivid detail the first time my father made me bleed. It was a cold November evening and we had just finished dinner. I was all dressed up in my golden basketball jersey ready for a game.
'Thud', pushing the door open,
I storm into my house.
Running, trembling.
As fast as I could,
I'm shivering, babbling.
I wish you would just hit me
But you got inside my bones
and split me from the inside.
I hate that I’m that girl
who writes poetry about a boy
to feel human again.
But you’re not a boy,
I just stood there
Almost paralyzed by your beauty
Yet, Letting your hurtful words cut me so deep I started to bleed from my wrist
My blood was as red as her matte lipstick
I am from Starbucks and skinny girls in mansions.
I am from can I feel your hair and is it real ?
I can’t help but think about going back in time. To find myself in shaders of pain.
To see myself hate where i stand, and worship the people who make me hate myself.
Every winter I pull down my sleeves
Portraying the mask of my scars' identities
What once the pain summer brought,
My heart was filled with nought
No longer afraid to show,
The struggle I once woe
your touch it lingersit lingers on my skinyou were so warm I never wanted to give inas tears fall from my eyes now I can finally seeit was never you it was meI want to see youI want to feel
To wake up is pain.
Divorce is not the only strain.
Depression, anxiety, it hits me like a train.
Bankruptcy, torture, is this all fun and games?
All I see and hear is her name.
***Trigger Warning***
“Boys will be boys”
“Let bygones be bygones”
“Forget about it”
“Get over it.”
I’ll use my broken bones as a splint
My black eyes will start my eye shadow
You can’t keep me away with the danger of bloody noses
Violence won’t wash away la vie en rose
you really could be delectable
but…
i can’t take you home
you’re too much
i wish you were less
How can I hate those who raised me, When I am their baby? And I know that they hurt me, But I have been learning, That they are people too, There's a bunch of fucking shit that they went through.
You dont understand what you doin to me
Should I spell it out for you to see
Death means absolutely nothin to me
Imma keep doin what I do, it sets me free
From all the pain and humiliation in the past
I have grown up six times.
The first time, I was stitting on a couch, watching television
when my father stormed in with eyes red as hot embers
yelling at my mother
who pretended she didn't remember
cheating
strong, independent, full of life
finally finding love you thought would be right.
falling fast deeper and deeper in love
quickly becomes something you'd never dream of.
growing was slow, then sudden
like tectonic plates drawing near,
then clicking together,
leaving a trail of collapsed buildings in its wake-
You beat me,
You yelled in my face,
You slammed my head into the walls.
You broke my soul,
it came crumbling down
today.
I always said that I'd forgive you,
but I haven't,
If I've fallen
and I can't get up
will you save me?
Will you help me to stay strong?
If I've fallen
off the edge of the earth
will you help me?
Will you tell me
No.
Repeat it back to me.
No, you say.
The thick blanket of unconsciousness threatens to suffocate me.
My eyes shouldn't close because I am not safe.
As I stare at the photos that once captured the deadbeat I can’t help but to ponder and sob as I remember how it never caught the beating the deadbeat gave to me, I cried until he untied me, I feel like the mission was to end me, now I look at oth
Number 1 - become his best friend
Remembering the smell of long nights newly blossomed, pink lilies lying on the carpet of a forgotten home
A breth of fresh air never tasted so sour,
I bear the heaviness of regret on my shoulders,
Again with your games of deciet and lies,
Your words cascading down the mountainside,
A breth of fresh air never tasted so sour,
I bear the heaviness of regret on my shoulders,
Again with your games of deciet and lies,
Your words cascading down the mountainside,
You told me I was your little pearl.
Glimmering and white,
Pure and loved,
A beauty to beat the rising sun.
I was naïve and innocent,
She didn't deserve to hurt
She didn't deserve all the pain she felt from
Friends, Family, Teachers
She didn't deserve to be tormented and ostricized
Because of some scars on her arms
What love is not
Love is not cynical
Love is not unkind
Love is not controlling
Love is not blind
Love does not harm
Love does not boast
silent
wont talk
she just nods
scared to speak up
she wants to be heard
but knows nobodys ever truly listening
she tries to trust but shes struggling
before you judge
before you point and laugh
before you mock someone think about this
what do you really know about them
that boy with the bruises on his legs he gets abused at home
You don't know what you're talking about.
Stop acting like you're smart.
Those statistics are all lies.
You can't trust anyone.
Stop talking to people.
You have to keep it all a secret.
Panic is a bathroom sink,
Grime-covered and overflowing,
Tearing the skin off my hands
With its vicious heat splashing,
Burning cold through spilled ink.
Unborn and already
A path has been chosen
By those that are not them -
To become another cog
In the inescapable machine that is society.
I am from handmade red canoes,
from farm land and a white well.
I am from broken bones and bleeding hearts, and crumbling floors and whispering walls.
I am from a pear tree
DISAPPOINTING when the only expectation that matter is to be loved
EMPTINESS caused for not listing
CRYING without reasonable reason
EVASION of the more simple things in live
A year ago as I wept and cried.
I felt depressed. I wanted to die.
2 bruises here and 2 bruises there
A cut on my leg, covered with air.
My lip was cut; My heart was crushed
Ode to the girl that died insideOf meMy best friend tells me to conjureUp her dead soul and shake handsWith herBut it would be like misery isshaking hands with sunshine and flowersHow oddOdd,
What drugs made you think of me,
My helpful little helper bee?
The pollination of disease,
Upon your naked worm I feed,
I wish that I could free your soul,
My whirly, girly, rolly-poll,
Once, you claimed a kind of love, unbeknownst to the receiverRememory*A mother’s desperate love; one in which she sacrifices allRememoryDo you truly love your children, or only what they are able to accomplish?
i. you said they came with rocks
so i built a fortress for emotion
brick by brick from bitter lies
about how you thought it was,
to love a woman.
crying at night laughing by day
she was too weak to speak up
suffering through his abuse silently
listening to screaming feeling the punches
but one day he went too far
Rows upon rows of tennis shoes jumped and played around,
sweet voices and laughter filled the air.
Eyeballs were everywhere, observing, absorbing, deducing, condemning.
Calm overwhelms me
Breaking and splintering the anger and painThe words you spoke to me may heal with time But scars take far longer to fade
I stand tall
When we kiss , i taste the bitterness of love from your lips ,
When we hug , i feel bondage and enslaved
But after the unbearable screaming and kicking and choking and pleading...
you say you are different .
Black pools ripple in her eyes
Dilated spheres of emptiness
Proof that she’s gone again
She often does this
Invoking her own insanity
With those little white pills
She is home
First came the hitting,
Then I was sheltered from everything.
The fear was normal,
It was everyday,
I told another lie today
I pretended I was well
Covered the bruises, hoped they'd fade
Because you told me not to tell.
Though I whispered, "please stay"
I want it to be over,
The door is inching open
the light hits her face
her Daddy needs to hear her pleas
in their secret little place
oh my Baby oh my Baby
Daddy needs you so so much
oh my Baby oh my Baby
To the life of the naked eye, both your skins are the same but to me, neither strain is the same.
One call with an arrogant whisper the other with a sweet knock.
The whisper quiet and simple had me working to my knuckles.
The Strike
The Final Blow
My word?
No.
No was used
to stop the abuse
No was said
to blow out the fuse.
The fuse of anger
had turned to grief,
and the fuse
You taught me to be silent
You stole my voice
You told me to be small
You stole my strength
You pushed me down
You stole the ground from underneath my feet
But today I stand back up
When I was five I had a Daddy
He was tall and kind
And he called me his princess
But he was scary when he was mad
I told a fib and he grabbed my arm
I lie in bed every night,
The guilt seeps into my dreams,
Someday they'll catch you,
And I'll be waiting,
Gripping smoldering justice,
Like a loaded gun.
I'm eternally conflicted,
You don't scare me, mister.
The way you threw me to the floor.
Ran me through your fingers,
Like sand and broken pieces of myself.
I pull myself deeper
as my mind is a weight that
pulls me down
into the ocean where
all the strange and ugly creatures
make their home in my
abandoned temple
worn down by the hands of
I have never doubted the ability
of a womans rage, and
the floppy arc of a chosen mans
black leather belt
marring my skin with the days when
I was bad, but you were good
I watched as my entire soul crossed a threshold.
Time slowed and I saw his face.
It was him.
They said I’d never see him again,
The rain is my peace.
My eyes were the ocean.
My heart in ruins.
I shook violently as the droplets struck me.
.
The rain is my peace.,
For she cannot see my tears.
You watched me from my window and took out your anger on my body with your eyes.
~awatr
He shook me furiously and the thunder shook the house surrounding my fragile skeleton.
~awatr
She painted her face the way she painted her body,
To cover the pain and tears he left behind.
~awatr
Common Pain
The young woman traumatized
The events that guided taught her lessons about life
Rich in memories and lessons, while others are broke
They say she once smelled of burning ashwood and cinnamon.The smoky aroma enveloped her being year round,
Now that I've said it
It doesn't seem so wrong.
What was so hard to say out loud
Kept me from being strong.
So key to me
That now I see
I think, I can move on.
how did I overcome one of my fears?/well, there were many days of failure./days of grief that destroyed me./days of sadness that buried me./days of darkness that blinded me./but, between the hurt,/the pain,/the suffering,/there were days of joy./d
Bleeding, crying and hiding.
Scared of the train that went past your house at exactly midnight,
but really just scared of everything.
You were supposed to run wild and build blanket forts.
How wonderful you cannot choose
The place and part you least will bruise
For all the phases: yellow, green
Some unsightly, some unseen
You would miss out, you would not get
The new from different sustance skin
Never expected his hands to grab there,
Invading my body that parasite,
His arm on my throat I could catch no air,
He would never hurt me he wouldn’t bite.
His tendrils wrap around your body and pull you closer,
His gummy hands caressing your neck,
His hot black breath whispers in your ear.
Someone moves;
I flinch and instantly my mind is pulled back to how you were.
~awatr
You were wildfire.
Someone lit you and left you to burn.
So when i came along,
Your ashes and flaming embers,
landed upon my skin and ignited me.
Your smoke wafted into my lungs
Crawled and Bawled in tears
Ponder the overcome
Deep dark
Donder white
Suddenly wishing there was light
Seek help
No sight
Please stop
Please stop
Please stop
Silence
I like to make connections Creating connections is funBut creating connections creates a contagion -of comparible compatible connections Concise connections, carefully crafted containing continuity
You've always compared me to a rose and I never quite understood why. Is it because I'm pretty? Or is it because I have thorns? Is it because, if you get too close you'll hurt yourself?
I am only two years, seven months older
two x’s don’t bother me now
and they came round
this summer, remain adamant
name is going to be Aaron, one who is a mountain of strength
When the rain has dried on windows, do you think of me?
The aftermath of a downpour
Nothing but a resin left, ugly, tainted
Or do you hire the cleaners out? wipe away any memory, start fresh
New windows
Who are you?
I do not know you.
I do not know you vile ways,The way you take pleasure in wounding me so.
this letter is me saying goodbye.
this letter is everything i couldn't say
when you were in my room that night
when i asked you to stop
to leave me alone
and you persisted
in touching me
Alcohol wasn’t brought about to abuse it,
It was brought about for fun.
She doesn’t see; she just sits there,
Drink, after drink, after drink.
It hurts me, when I can see it coming,
As a little girl
I was neglected
but I didnt let that stop
me,I went on with life
because it goes on no matter
what the situation may be
I always said the best
At the verge of losing control, a dagger, enters my chest, sent from his eyes, filled with indifference, one tear, no feelings, poison gushing from his lips—
Breathe.
Dancing on the floor
Singing cheerful songs
The world rotates for each movement that is made
Stained in vibrant hue are the lights that illuminate the room
I am vast and I am blue and more than you can see
I am loud and I will be heard by everyone
So with this crash I say -No- I decree
That I am my own being and I cannot be undone
During my journey as an artist, I’ve realized that my dream career is to be a professional illustrator.
bright striped leggings and rubber boots
outside but inside
something much darker
something she has seen
I never knew how to count before youThe day I met you you told me I didn't need to listen
Ode: (n.) a poem meant to be sung
Hands touch, hearts jump, all of my senses start to go numb. Love strikes, arrows fly, how did he make me become so shy.
so when Geoff sings “here’s to this year I never thought I’d make it through” I put my arms around someone else who did make it & swayed along as the clock swung itself past midnight at the end of December
Looking up with innocent eyes,
young, cute, funny. Your favourite.
Im not your fucking princess.
Dead as the cut flowers you loathed so much,
loathed like you deserve.
This thing called life changes from good to bad. Where were the signs? I should have saw the signs. All my fears comingto life. Disbelieve is my heart, for the road i have to take there's longsuffering and malaise.
Whose abusive mother is that? I think I know.
Its owner is quite sad though.
It really is a tale of woe,
I watch her frown. I cry hello.
I want you.
I don't tell you but I think it every day.
I want you. Putting emphasis on every word I say it three times over.
I want to kiss you unil are lips are raw and there is no emotion left to be shared.
You can no longer hurt me.
Physically, mentally.
You were the monster in my closet.
Only monsters are myths and you are real.
The first day was love,
We humans, we stand united.
We humans, we stand so strong.
But some rights we are denied and
We're told we do not belong.
Take another.
How much harm can it do,
really?
Drink me down like water.
Skip the slow sips,
guzzle down the burn like
setting fire to your chest.
Everyone's an addict.
You asked me to be honest
So I told you I was fine
Because I know
That's what you wanted to hear
Time has moved forward since then
I no longer fear your hands
Even if they never
You don’t know how you plucked my heart like a rose and it skipped a beat as you
whispered the sweetness of sonnets.
My mentor, my dear mentor,
How terrible you have been to me,
And yet I must thank you.
A girl just the age of seven
Encountered a man
He said "This will be heaven"
Sneaking into her room at night after her mom was in bed
Again and again, broken down and violated in her bed
Her life becomes a mess of
Red lipstick defenses
Red lipstick state of mind
Look but don't see
Look but don't touch
For the woman I’ve never met
One who has lost more than I have,
Resurrecting the memory of her mother and brother, murdered in cold blood -
He is Helmsman.
There’s no way to tell
what’s real and what’s hell
A man, he says you fail.
without speaking a word
I don't care if your here I dont care if you're not
I don't care if your a woman I don't care if you're a man
I don't care if you're young I don't care if you're old
by Ariel Douglas (2 June 2018)
I believed you
I trusted you
You broke me
You used me
You never loved me
You took my heart
With golden locks of lace
I waltz around this town
This is no modern palace
This is my old home town
The people pass me by
And whisper to themselves
Am I the man that used to cry
SAINT MARY OF THE SEA POSTS A LETTER:
TO THE SIREN HUNTERS, BE WARNED
i saw what you did
when you made sure no one
was looking
I fight the darkness of the heart
The hidden and dangerous part
Closed with a bolt, local and key
The secret of forgotten past left to be
Lost, there is no way I see out,
Deepening darkness creates my doubt
My life was a hot mess.
The daily abuse
Left me in spirit
Alone and confused.
Five years of this stuff
Was more than enough
To reshape my person
And turn me to mush.
I blame you. I blame you for my completely shattered trust,
i blame you for the countless arguments of dramatic cussing
back and forth and each day ending in acts of lust.
I come to see you during lunch
My heart, in pain to much
You open the door and you see
Me, in all of my vulnerability
But you don't bat an eye, much like the other guy
You hug me,
But not out of love
::Build me a home of stone and dustLight up the fire with roses and lust//Lay me a bed of feathers and cloudsSing me a song of the torn and the vowed//Show me dissenters with rocks in their slings
glittery souls, half-took breaths
rest-less hearts, uncleansed mess
coated daggers, red-stained walls
unseen brutality, unseen by all
a cripple depression, unheard cries
no long here, a thousand lies
My heart is pounding. My head is racing with every single outcome in my head as my phone sits in between my palms with a decision to make that wouldn’t be easy.
You walked away
with my dripping heart.
as you let the rest
of me rip apart
its been so long
I’m so scared
I’mscaredI’mscaredI’mscaredI’mscared
I don’t know
What to do
How to act
What to say
I’m so scared
I was eight and life was simple
Simple enought to ride my bike whenever I wanted
I wanted to explore, find new places
Places like hidden paths and back roads
Roads that led me to a church that was empty
Dirty blonde hair that was always greasy because
your family had one bathroom
with six
seven
eight people
and you always came last to every single one.
Sisters' boyfriends and strange neighbors
he was a secret that I regret keeping locked away, deep inside my soul he stayed he shook hands with my fearshe befriended my pain
He taught me how to feel…To feel his red hot grip on my throatSo that I would grow cold. He suffocated me in his embrace and now, I am cold… And catatonic. The red lace,That once was a symbol of our passion,Would turn on me And use its body inste
bodily betrayal
my fault
still inside me
years after the assault
complicated nonconsent
complicated discontent
wasn’t drugged
my past defines me, i am, the girl he keeps from his friends, a secret, not good enough, unheard
They call me Medusa,
a monster forgotten; and here? No katharevusa.
The fickle-eyed ancient damned my life in a proxy fight;
jealous? Of what, the rape of an innocent acolyte?
The lust of a capricious potency,
Love is like a rose, maybe that's why roses are givin' to loved ones on special occasions
Such as; Valentine's Day, anniversaries, special events, and sometimes just to say I love you.
I wish this wasn’t something in my life
But when someone else does it, it becomes my strife.
You crack another can open; I feel it cut into my soul.
I won’t keep the sorrow unspoken; dying must be your goal.
Frantically trying to swallow away the double knot you left in my vocal cords
This, my beautiful award, for craving the abuse you effortlessly enforced.
Mercilessly invading every independent thought
She gave him everything she had.
Her body, soul, and heart,
She thought they would be together forever.
Her eyes folded into her face,
Twelve years old with a huge fabric binder,
a new pair of shoes,
and the exact same wardrobe as the year before.
The shoes were maroon and grey
and "only cost fifteen dollars!" my mom said.
“Do you think you can forgive me?”
He asked me this while there was still blood between my teeth.
He asked me this while I held my own right thumb, because
Leaving me broken
Out in the open
How can you call that love
Leaving me stranded
Alone and abandoned
How can you call that fun
knowing im damaged
Bruised broke and bandaged
you ignited
an uncouth flame
a knife to sharpen
and a thing to blame
but forever we were
I am a fucking phoenix.
You can tear me down
You can burn my body
Leave me in the ashes of memories
And even blow them across the floor
My body has been burned
Scorched and used
From the times my feathers were ripped from my body
In a pillow fight I will never win.
My bones are fragile
I told myself I was done with you last night.
I am so over feeling used.
I am far too good at goodbyes
Hating the way I try for you
I want to forget the way your words became teeth,
Sharp, gnashing, unforgiving.
You talk ‘pretty’ now.
Your canines ground down and polished,
All I want is to be free.
free of the demons that haunt my nights
Laughing in glee as my eyes droop down.
His face fades into place like the cheshire cat.
I don't know why I was attracted to you
Its not like you were a good person from the start
But after it was all over, you left me blue
After you left you still made my life fall apart
Peer pressure something everyone deals with... right? But in some ways, it was more drastic for me... Does it make you feel better getting a look at my bare skin? Soft, smooth with many insecurities.
A shiny, new, bustling city.Full of people.Each with ideas.Each with thoughts.Each with emotions.
But then It starts.
I forgive you for breaking my heart
You took a healed wound and reopened it
You poured acid onto it & let it sit
The pain is still there, but I forgive you
I forgive you for leaving me vulnerable
Computer: *BEEP BOOP*
I am Learner 5000
*BEEP BEEP*
I am designed to enable learning
*BOOP BOOP BEPP*
Today, the lesson is poetry. Poetry is used for a number of reasons including, coping with hardships.
do you think i'm stuPid? did yOu Really think i wouldN't find out? you told me you quit months ago but, i had my doubts. i didn't asK you to stop because I wanted to controL you. you toLd me about it before, why are you hiding it now?
The body remembers what the mind forgets.
Forgets, you say?Oh, no, no, never. No way. Locked away.Maybe to resurface someday, when the momentSeems safe enough to allow what was held at bayto return.
You were my best friend
Or at least I'd like to pretend
But i guess every story has two sides
I remember that morning you were more than just my friend,
I keep my heart locked up in a box
Guarded by a dextrous black fox
But with a glance from you the fox was slain
My heart thrown into a hurricane
Round and round it tumbled and swept
you were my sunrise
my warm happy day
the sky under which children played
and people dreamed
they looked up at you and would see beauty
you were my purple orange red yellow sunset
It's been 2 years, 8 months, 25 days since i felt your hands
Since your hands were on my hips.
I can still feel them.
I can still feel how your fingers dug into my skin.
for so long you've been sinking
belly full of stones
i press my lips to yours
with the notion
that breathing outward might send you upward
but somehow
accidentally
i breathe in
Red.
So Red.
That's what color you seeped out.
But please don't get me wrong, it's not
because that's the color of
love
and passion
No.
Attracted to your glimmering mirage,
blind to the consequences.
Sweet poison dripping from your lips,
numbing my senses.
Meeting eyes with you was like staring at a picture that has been hung in the living room my whole life.
You were so familiar, yet you never failed to catch my attention.
We were in love once, not long ago.
You said that you could never let me go.
You kissed me with all of your energy
Maybe that's why you set me free
Instead of giving me a necklace
Made up of his hands
We sit in his Grand Cherokee
And listen to our favorite bands
My Mother is the greatest actress I know
She's able to portray the "perfect" wife when she's around friends because they're all BFFS
She is a volunteer junkie because she cares that damn much
Dear Daddy,
Can your sins be forgiven if you have forgotten?
Should I not hate you if you don’t remember the pain you’ve caused,
Or is that all the more reason to?
Why did you forget anyway?
To the one who took my life from me:
The way my nightmares used to speak
I thought it would be in screams and in shouts.
Dear My Beloved Copy,
I cannot recall the day that you came into my life that well anymore
(I guess I am a bad mother)
But I can remember is the complete euphoria of cracking your spine for the first time
When I was growing up I had a pretty happy childhood. I came from a broken home, however it never was an issue for me until I turned 12.
Dear Untouchable,
Proven divine, your soul glows like gold
under glistening sunlight; its own halo that just doesn’t
happen to gleam right.
I often struggle with words, which for me either come out wrong or don’t come out at all. In fear of the first happening, it's usually the second. Here’s the result:
What I Never Got to Say
To my "Love,"
No will ever love me like you,
What you told me over and over like a broken record skipping on a familiar riff:
Dear Eskinder Nega,
Before today your name held no meaning
I did not think of you for I was still naive
I foolishly assumed that I had such great wisdom
But Eskinder, that I can no longer believe
Sometimes at night,
when the second-hand
ticks endlessly, forever
mocking me for my inability
to grasp the embrace of sleep
because I am too busy thinking
about you and the burn
Dear Women who have seen their darkest days,
The lights buzzed,
as machines hissed,
while this little one graciously empties from your womb.
Dear Lover,
I am not a puppy or a little plaything you can choose because you think I am cute,
I am not a creature you can punish for not behaving how you would like me to,
I had no arms to remove you, no voice to tell them to stop.
But I had a door, and I let hope in for you.
Dents line my walls, as the movers carried out my memories:
Mommy I took my first steps today,
You were smiling,
Under daddy’s arm giving kisses like you first met,
Only 16 with an older man,
He told you don’t worry there just love taps,
We had no plans and began to drive
Into the small town that had tried to hide
From a paper map, hung on the wall
it would seem to be fields that only stretch on
Dear Daisy
I think about kissing you
I wonder if you think about it too
We were waiting outside to go dancing I was high and
Dear Father,
Why did you scream?
Did you want to continue the cycle of abuse?
Now you generate the same theme
As your father who made you bruise
Then right as you made me hate you
You left
Dear Mom,
He was there for you. He loved you, kept you in his arms each night.
Until you went to another.
Dear Mom,
Or Pam, I suppose.
Enabling the lowest of my lows.
Do you remember me? Is it the memory or the idea?
Cheap wonder bread and ham, cool kids who couldn't care less.
Yellow. What will life be outside of this thing? I often hear yelling from the outside world.
Dear Abuelo,
I see you on mom’s nightstand almost every night,
But I’ll never know who you were when times were right.
I know you caused pain
and I know you were vain
When my abusive ex boyfriend showed on up on my recommended accounts on instagram
Ode To Lewis:
Lovely cards of life
Define her future
They spoke with their eyes
Minds gleaming and newer
Carnival prize,
To you,
You know who you are,
so dare I write your name? Dare I continue writing?
I dare because that is what you taught me to do.
“Dream on, dream big, never be subpar,”
Don't fall for the rich
Please do not be deceive by the ice on their wrist
It’s not genuine
Why
Why am I still afraid of you
Why do I still cower
Or feel the urge to run away
You have this power over me
Maybe you just took it and
Never gave it back
I certainly didn't hand it to you
She heard his ragged breathing, but there was no one on the other end of the line.
It was another voicemail, just one of the many he sent late last night.
dear the person we thought we could trust,
here's to another night,
of being curled in a ball,
sobbing out my emotions.
you hurt me again.
and it left me confused as to why?
bend the bruises
mend the stains,
go ahead and break the chains,
wait outside the wrong track door,
hear the voices, not good for
anymore.
break the bones,
like all souls show,
I hear myself say it too often.
I probably just fucked up again.
Maybe you broke me,
again.
Perhaps it's my astonishment, quite possible since I'm great.
Until you tell me I'm not.
Jordan,
Because they were rough, and calloused
The worn fingers that laced with mine matched the temperament of their owner
The hands of a hard man
you say you love me but what is love
love isn't bruised knuckles and fights at night at least I don't think it is
love isn't pinning me down under your knees and yelling at me and me begging you to let me go
my mom's gf and her roommate would have parties almost every night and every weekend
random guys and girls would come over to drink the night away and that's when I'd want to just sleep my life away
it's hard writing this part
it's hard even thinking about this part in my life
it's hard living when I think about what I went through.
but the hardest part? is that it won't ever go away.
I have nightmares.
Dear Dad,
You were my most influential teacher
I learned when I was six
When given a choice between
A glass bottle and your daughter's hand
The ring
Oh how I loved that ring...
Shining oh how it shined...
Finally, the man I loved would be mine.
Sometimes you make me feel strong when I feel weak
Sometimes you make me weak when I should be strong
It's something about that grey smoke that seems so colorful
Why am I a slave to your grip
Power Dynamics are strange.
We would like to think that everyone is equal to everyone,
But in reality
We are all bouncing from one power dynamic to the other
Never truly finding equality between partners
Dear divinity.
I have many questions for you
That I'm not sure you'll ever answer
Because over the last few years of my life
My fealty to you
Has grown less and less steadfast.
When I was 6 years old I saw my mama weeping
She was crying in the back seat and I just took a whoopin
When it was all over she said that she was proud of me, that one day I would grow and succeed
To my ex-lover,
or, perhaps, “lover” is too generous
You were my friend first, and then we were more.
And even though we lost contact, we came back to each other
There’s a ghost in the front seat of my car
She’s twelve, maybe thirteen
And cries as much as I do
She remains quiet against the music, or as I talk
With green-gray doe eyes
When you are hard on yourself, you cannot escape
Running through your mind, from these thoughts.
Your mind constantly drifting, lost at sea.
Some dark places can be found, some bright places too.
The coldness you would put me through would make me appreciate the warmth you straightened me with
You thought i would bend
You thought i would yearn for your approval as i did as a child
…ABUSE…
NO MATTER WHAT TYPE… ABUSE IS ABUSE,
WHEN YOU’RE CAUGHT UP IN LOVE THERE’S NOT MUCH YOU COULD DO,
IT DON’T MATTER WHAT KIND BECAUSE IT’S ALL THE SAME,
Dear boy,
You're not a man.
A man does not hurt women
A man does not manipulate
A man does not use social media platforms to harrass an individual
A man does not make me say #MeToo
A man loves women
Mirror, mirror, upon my wall.
Tell me is this even me at all.
You have no choice but to show my reflection.
Show me this and I'll pick out a new imperfection.
So, what will I do today?
You were my first love,
At least that is what I thought.
You messed up my life,
Because now everything I do is related back to you.
Dear Aidoneus, Goddess of death!
Za, God of men!
Why must you sit on your ligneous chairs drenched in ichor?
Sitting round the table waiting for Dad to join us,
Me and my mom spent two hours gazing at the main entrance
Hoping the door bell would ring
And dad would come home spring me up in his strong arms
You bit me when I was tenderbecause you knew i was easy prey.Knowing i would fall weak at the knees on the cogency of your wordsKnowing I was soft as the petals scattered on the bathroom floor.
And when you left I thought
You had taken
Everything
From me.
Have you ever dreaded to take a breath
Not the kind that fills soft moist lungs
But the kind that follows a silent death
Let me go no further
For I can see you
I don’t have to be there
The life in him runs under the skin, under my hand, running through the splotches, smelling up into my nose
run to the water
to the shower
the river
the ocean
to rinse
to cleanse
the dirt
left on my flesh
but the dirt is far from brown
its blue
its purple
its tender
Dear Mother,
Hello, I just wanted to say you aren't a mother.
I mean a mother couldnt do what you did to me could she?
You left me in the streets so you can get high.
Dear mother, I know you don't wanna hear it
You've made it clear a thousand times but you know mom I fear it,
I fear the cycle, the turning wheel, the parallels I've drawn,
I called you my love,
I called them my family,
Then you broke me.
I gave you my heart,
I gave you three years of my life,
You gave me sadness and hurt and abuse.
I'm holding onto the last few grains of sand that fell from your mouth when you told me that, I was your everything.
I count to ten and i'm calm but I swear it's all in slow motion.
One..
Her yelling echos through my head over and over, everything she has ever said to make me feel, worthless.
Two…
Once sacred bodies thrown promiscuosly about,
Angels and Demons reside within the same house.
Here lies a soldier,
Here lies a clown.
One missing its arms,
One missing its frown.
Here lies a Princess,
The body was four years old when it
lost its sense of touch
because of all the hitting.
The body was eight years old when it
lost its sense of smell
This little girl, staring you in the face.
Why, she used to be yours.
But this little girl, staring you dead in the face,
She’s been living in a white dress,
since you got down on one knee.
She’s been living in a black house,
There’s a list inside my head of all the ways I’ve done you wrong.
There’s a list underneath my hands of all the ways I’ve hurt you.
There’s a list in my heart of all the ways I’ve failed you.
Hello.
Please, don't get your hopes up.
This is NOT a love letter.
This is a letter to say goodbye.
Goodbye to the days of whimpering with fear,
everytime you stepped near.
Dear Rye,
There are a lot of things swirling inside you
Emotions and memories and darkness that
You don’t know quite how to process
Dear Past Me,
Looking back, I now see the problems.
They were flaws in myself
that I thought were my strengths.
Forgiveness.
Do not forgive so easily.
To not accept any rock
Were you ever my friend?
Were we ever good friends?
Sometimes it felt like you were using me,
and now that I know that,
you're losing me.
Somtimes I wish that things could go back,
Mother didn't care
Father didn't know.
Now dear heart,
You are all alone.
No one notices,
Or really even cares.
They won't see you.
Just a broken girl.
There is a boy who always smiles
as long as he's not home
his friends all think he's happy
and no one really knows
he goes to school happy
just to get away
Here’s to the children,
Who go home to another fight.
Another wrong, another insult.
Here’s to the children,
Who tend to their siblings, because no one else will.
you fooled me once,
charming and true,
every inch of my heart
was devoted to you.
your breath was like the wind
whistling over the pines.
your palms felt like home,
I never once explained to you how I became the person I am today
Dad, I'm sorry
I broke all of the rules I made up when I was younger
Dear.
The time left on Earth is relative now.
Every second by your side reflects a drop of water,
— and every humid touch is a violation to my sanity
Inside this body there is a trap,
You gripped my chin with cold pallid fingers forced my mouth open and poured your poison inside of me. It traveled down my veins and you turned around with a frown on your face.
An aftertnoon stroll has me walking by houses,
with doors that let me back
into realities I used to know.
Run down homes with doors whose
screens are coming off the hinges,
with doors that
You taught me to fear
You taught me to worry
You taught me fake love
You taught me to drink away the pain
You taught me I was ugly and worthless
I have denied that a tear ever touched my skin
While you apologize for your actions, once again
like fire and gasoline dancing
our flame has grown brighter, more destructive
Dear Daddy,Where have you been?It's been 13 years,but my skin still crawlswith imprints of your finger
He is a monster.His mouth widens to reveal three rows of teeth, and he is covered with blood.My blood.Even though he is hidden in the shadows, his pale skin shines through,Blinding me.When he walks into the light, his demon black eyes shift into a
Dear Lover,
Because I love you,
I let you walk all over me.
I forgave your infidelity.
I gave you my heart.
You replaced it with yours.
That empty-headed smell lingers in the house chanting his name as it swims through the chilling breeze. His name. His name spits out of mouths and into my ears.
no one invites me anywhereno one wants to hang out with meno one likes me as more than a friendI have tons of problems tooI hate myself I feel so ugly I feel so fatI starve myself
We grow up hearing "stranger danger" but what do we do when the danger isn't a stranger but someone whose half of DNA lives inside you?
Girl, why do you stay with him?
And make an excuse
Haven't you had enough of his mess?
Along with all of the abuse
Time and time again
You have sadly, sat there and drowned in tears
Because I love you
I can too much about your health than mine
Beacause I love you
I'm aware of how much I've hurt myself just to get your attention
Because I love you
Dear Grandma,
i took the wrong turn into the ER.
“go to the red lot.” they said
“that's where they die.” i thought
no that's not where they die -
Little one don't even try
To rid yourself of sin
Little one just live your life
Sweet child of the nephilim
Little one please keep in mind
The way you treat your fellow kin
Little one be fair and kind
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
Swallow the threatening tears down.
They have no place here now.
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
Inhale past the tightness and knots inside.
Too much to take, too much to give
Too aware to die, too aware to live.
Too white, too black, too inbetween.
Too loud, too quiet, too asleep to dream.
Too good, too bad, too broken to try.
Take the child
Break the child
Then fix her up with glue.
Her parts will heal
But she won't feel
She doesn't have a clue.
Take the child
Make the child
Then wash her clean of shame.
you insisted every masterpiece had a signituture as you relentlesely carved your name into my skin with blood running down your knuckles. "you're mine" may be music to the ears of a lover but there was nothing romantic about how prisoner
Ash like snowKissing my skin, It fallsThe bitter warmth of the flameThe crack of the light, it dances
Was it love when i felt his hands around my neck more than around my waist?When his touch bruised but in those anamalistic markings I felt passion?Colors defamatoryThe rainbow was bright but it wasn't beautiful.My eyes couldnt handle the light I s
Her face as red as her name
As she screamed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH HER!?
His blue eyes looked into hers
Baby, Baby no she is just green with envy of us
and our perfect purple baby
Back then, first gen,
It was a lot easier when
Mom and dad used to love each other since then
Fights happen, physical actions
Again and again
“No one loves you like I do”
The words that once seemed lovely
Burrow into the crevices of my mind
Right next to “you’re not good enough” and “you’ll never achieve anything”
“No one loves you like I do”
‘Thermodynamic equilibrium
is defined as the state of an isolated system in which
there is no tendency for spontaneous change
a tenuous balance between unimaginable forces.’
You once told me I was beautiful,
But now you call me ugly.
Whose fault is that I think,
Never daring to speak.
Bruises adorn my body,
Never seem to fade.
I muffle my cries at night,
You hit her again, and I look
not knowing what to do
Is it because I don't know?
Or because I know she'll just choose you.
You hit her, and you hurt her,
and I stand by and watch.
Same old stories once again
You’re trying to pretend that everything is alright
The fact is nothing is okay
But that’s something I can’t say
I just have to say “I’m fine”
Purple bruises
Red blood stains
The hole punched in the wall
More yelling
More pain
I begin to bawl
How did this
Because I love you, I sigh and take the food, refusing to eat.
Because I love you, a fake smile, as you kiss her, I do fake.
Because I love you, I’m trying to be happy, I’m trying to change!
words grip me into a choking hold
as i grasp for air
from your overbearing love
that tighten my vocal chords
i ask for you to leave
Warmth. Drowsy. Burrowing into your chest, arms around my back.
And then, like a gunshot, shaking. And tears. And disassociation.
I care, and Why
by Henry Rude
You text me all day.
What is going on right now?
I would like to know.
He says "I love you"
Beats and bruises, scars and slaps
You can do something
Reads the sticker on the mirror
Adjacent to it one that calls
stop domestic violence
Empowering
As I stand
In a university bathroom
Too happy from the fact you were holding my hand,
I didn't notice the bruises forming under your grip.
“Love” is a powerful word
so full of intense emotion
and desperate desires.
“Love” can mend or break you,
healing wounds of the past
Love.
A crazy little thing.
It sets our hearts aflame, makes us brighter, radiating stars in the crowded galaxy of existence.
Some nights full of tears
Others full of tossing and turning
I've put all the code in my brain to fall asleep
But I can’t.
I can’t stop remembering
The three simple words ‘I love you’ hold mass amounts of worth
People do crazy things for love
Good and Bad
Healthy and Unhealthy
“Because I love you”
is not an apology
is not a ball and chain
is not an excuse.
It is a truth.
It is a reason.
It is a motivation.
When it is sincere
And pure
I'm sorry I woke you
You used to say I could.
You crossed your fingers, nodded your head, like I knew you always would.
You whisper sweet words of decit, as you look into my eyes
Black eyes, bruised skin
Just because I love you, doesn't mean I'll let you in.
Love with you is fist fights, broken glass.
Harsh words that cut the skin, broken plates littering the floor
That's not what love is.
writing’s gotten harder than it used to be
leaves thickening,
stars playing games
with the sticks they throw at me
Despite the eloquence ofMy words;My actionsShowcase merciless intent
My actionsSeem to display meAs selfishAs ifI don’t love you
BUT YOU ARE WRONG
It’s because I love you,
That I would make you cry.
And that’s why
I’m your greatest ally.
It’s because I love you,
#becauseIloveyou600 miles meant nothing to me because I loved you.I gave up my freedom, and that was okay because I loved you.
Because I love you I will care for you,
I'll become your other home.
I'll be your best friend and your listener,
and I'll be your pillow to cry on.
Because I love you, we'll move in together,
October 7th, 2017
Today was a horrible day.
There have been more and more days like today.
And I met a boy.
He smokes cigarettes, and hits me when he drinks.
He tells me I am worthless.
My dad throws a plate at the breakfast room wall,
As he throws it he adds on his life, marriage, and family,
It shatters into smaller images of himself,
And the sound it makes is nothing short of deafening,
Sometimes I can't fucking stand noise,
Every smack of your lips,
Every breath you take,
All amplified in my head like 20 speakers stacked on top of each other,
Muted grey
Shades of pain
Blurry sneers
My arms stretched out
Coils freeze on my limbs
Hanging above soulless concrete
“How was your day, Sweetie?”
“I should get one for my partner too.”
“I mean… Would you want to?”
It’s as simple as that.
Drunk on old fashions, the wind takes a breath
And exhales all his anger through golden
Red leaves, falling to her pathetic wreath;
Hands bleached like old Bluebeard's, he's stuck within
Relationships can change like gusts of wind
I know not of what you were thinking then
How did you ever get me oh so pinned
You were changing me again and again
Because I love you,I listen,I feel,I cherish,I know,I understand.
Because I love you,I ignore,I abuse,I condemn,I assume,I neglect.
“This is it.” Society breathes,
“This is all you need.
This man,
This husband, he will tell you who you should be.”
Roses and
-Don’t speak- Look around. I am a girl who provides for my six siblings I have 2 jobs paying minimum wageBarely brushing by, i don’t get to have much to show off My bully doesn’t know this;My bully picks at my clothes, my hair, my rough finge
Are you willing to wait for me?
I don’t know if it’s right to abuse you like this
This is my fault
Retching at pictures at everything you do the moment we kiss
Grandfather, I thought you loved me?
You said it as you held me close.
All the times we laughed with glee,
And when we would garden outside.
Then we were in your room, I froze
I begged for you to leave me be
I love you this much,
More than all the tears from your eyes.
If you love me,
You'll not worry your pretty mind over my lies.
What I mean with my fists
My love will persist;
“Because I love you”
I love you so much,
every breath you breath
every little touch.
You’ve infected me
with something i fail to see.
Love is a term, that harbors an array of connotation. To some, "love" is the black eye they received from "falling into the door knob" of a situation that intensified quicker than they could dodge.
My mom is a thousand ticking bombs
Wrapped recklessly
In coarse,
Black,
South pacific skin.
Pervaded by the thick stench of marlboro reds,
They built me up,
And knocked me down,
Over
And over
And over
And over.
A cycle of trying to impress,
Part One
My thoughts are a corpse, buried beneath the surface in a sickening coldness.
Looking at your face sends shivers, like spiders, crawling down my skin.
It's crazy what i did for love
You put me in a box that kept getting smaller.
and smaller.
and smaller.
Instead of breaking out, I curled up and made myself smaller.
and smaller.
and smaller.
Because i love you,
I let you walk all over me.
I forgave your infidelity.
I gave you my heart,
you replaced it with yours.
am I dead to you yet
you almost killed me that last time
when my eyes glazed over and you fucked me anyway
This poem is about breaking
Because you loved me.
this body is riddled with breaks
Love is not tears
Manipulation or jeers
Nor is it lies and coercion.
Love does not hurt
“Because I love you, you should stay.
You should ignore whatever they’ve told you.
I love you, don’t listen to them.
I know I hurt you.
Love is nothing but an empty promise filled with Venom.
Love is a venom.
That's why love is affiliated with the heart.
Normal couples fight, right?
It's not out of the ordinary to be coerced
To need someone to push me out of my comfort zone
Normal boyfriends keep their options open, right?
Blair
A beautiful wonderful, girl who needed someone.
But there was no one.
Alone. Forgotten. And seemingly worthless.
Abandoned at birth and taken by strangers.
I would do anything for you. I loved you...as much as my stupid hormonal 15 year old brain could. All I ever wanted from you was for you to care and at least tell me that you love me.
Because I loved you, I felt worthless
Because I loved you, I saw myself surrounded by darkness when you were supposed to be my light
Because I loved you, I saw blood on my hands instead of your fingers between mine
My mirror only sees how much I love youHow bad you hurt meHow bad you burn meMy mirror only sees the bruises you leave me
Me and you I thought would be forever
We’ve been through it all and it basically turned into a never
I don’t feel the same anymore
I thought we were compatible
I’m done I hope I’m being understandable
I am not her
I do not have the effortless waves that fall below her shoulders
The works of art created that exceeds any previously set expectations
The good grades
Top athlete awards
Perfect social status
The heat of my tires
Was the blood on my hands
The honest words
Were the smoking gun
The alone I desired
Walking on eggshells in order to please you,
you said that if I didn't listen you would sabotage me.
Send my pictures to college admissions,
tell my parents that I had begun drinking again.
You claimed it was
I love you
Three simple words
That’s all they really are, just words
Anyone can write them down
I love you. I love you. I love you.
See? I did it, but did I mean it?
The most favorable flowers,
Snipped from their leaves,
Snipped from their roots
I want to hold you,
I cannot seem to let go.
I feel like your choking me when i am around you,
but i breath, because i love you.
I tried to fight my feelings,
but victory was impossible, because i love you.
He is a hollow shell found on empty beaches
You try to get a hold of him, and he breaks in pieces
His words are venom but his eyes are tears
Because I’ve learned to love you, I’ve learned to love myself.
No longer am I empty, like a forgotten dime-store shelf.
Because you let me love you, I’ve learned what love should be.
Because I love you
I give you a kiss
Because you don't love me
You lash out and hit
Because I love you
I hold you tight
Because you don't love me
I'm scared to sleep at night
Time is a
soft and gentle mother,
who puts a steady hand on
the small of your broken back
and whispers, "It's time to
move on, sweetheart,"
and for once, you
can actually listen.
She dug her seashell pink nails into my back
Angry red and charcoal black
My Angel's got a temper,
seeing red when I dare speak to somebody-Anybody!-else
Her love is wrath,
Do you think what you say doesn’t hurtBecause i'm here to tell you it doesYour words are like a hot knifePiercing deeper and deeper with each sentence You think you can say anything through a screenBut in reality you're just a coward Who does
"I told her once with my mouth."
You snigger to your friends.
You repeat your joke.
How many thousands of times have girls begged with their mouths "stop"?
could it be possible that you love
me because i am the worse half
is it possible that i love you because i
was never given intimacy
is it possible that my your love for me
I was stupid.
On that moonless night, I wished for a guiding light that would lead me to happiness.
On that moonless night, I was empty and emotionless on the inside.
He spit ink into my throat,
told me it would soothe
the ache I felt.
It wasn't until a week later,
when my lungs collapsed,
that I realized he was hurting me.
I’ll respect you, not abuse you
I’ll encourage you, not discourage you
I’ll cheer you, not depress you
I’ll stand up for you, not ignore you
It was when you told me you loved me
that I really began to faulter
the words that came to my ears
from the mouth of my love
but instead
made my ears sting
“I do it because I love you,”
He will say when he goes through your things.
“It’s not because I don’t trust you,”
He will tell you, but he enjoys the fights that his actions bring.
“You’re just worthless, that’s all you will ever be.”
“You’re a whore, and you’re not good enough for me”
“I’m too good for you, can’t you see?”
I put on my rose-colored lens
The day I met him
When the “I love you’s” and “You’re my everything’s”
Were clouds covering a dark storm
She realized that it could not work
When he hit her
And it hurt
And when tears ran astray
On a young, weary face
There was something deep inside
That had dried beneath a fiery gaze
Trapped in his own asylum
Letting fumes take hold of his lungs
Booze takes over his brain
Like a video control game.
Midnight thoughts
Rake at his mind
Like jubilation
Being exiled.
No matter how much you look at others
I'll still be here
No matter how much you ignore me
I'll still be here
No matter how badly you treat me
I'll still be here
Because I love you
Your silence
makes me want to
scream
Did I do
something to make you
mad?
Your replies
make me want to
cry
Did I say
something to make you
I love you
They are words we hear all our lives
"I love you" says my mother as she kisses my small head before bed
"I love you" says my father before hanging up the phone
But what does I love you mean?
She came to visit me last night,
lips cracked, knuckles bleeding.
She's off again, trembling with want.
She's come to light a fire, come to steal my light.
Her fingers find their way around my neck
Because I love you
I heard it every day
After each beating
After each round of screaming
I cowered
Because he loved me
He loved me so much it was an honor to be his
To be worth his time
He holds you close
He helps you out
Everyone obviously knows it's
Because he loves you
He grips you tight
He tells you no
He never really lets you fight
Because he loves you
Because I love you
I believe your lies
when you tell me
I’m your everything
Because I love you
I listen to your evil slurs
when you drunkenly
push me against the wall
When you see him, ask him about December.
He’ll say he doesn’t remember.
Ask him about our fight,
The night he claimed to have the right
To touch me as he pleases
Because he loves me to pieces.
I wasn't loved
You cheated, lied and hit
I felt the blood run down my cheek
You cheated, lied and swore
It would never
Happen
Again
I gave up
I broke it off
Why do yours shake when they reach my waist
why do they make me want to grow smaller and smaller and
dissapear
why do your fingernails
dig into my skin as I speak
You kept me on a lease like a dog.
I would come to your whistle as your body lay slouched into our couch.
No, MY couch. The couch I had bought at the flea market that Saturday.
Every time you look up at me towering over you,
Your almond shaped eyes seem to grow larger on your tiny face.
Like soulful puddles of warm chocolate,
They sparkle with a sort of knowing innocence.
Love is a beautiful thing, when done right
Love can be amazing, without all the fights
You should always be happy, never sad
Never tell your partner things you'll regret, just 'cuz your mad
Eden was never a symbol of perfection
Aphrodite was never a symbol of love
Love to the Greeks meant madness, meant that someone had fallen too far
You are worth more to me than bloody knuckles and purple bruises
Because I love you, I won't
You are more important than my foolish teenage desires for intimacy
Because I love you, I won't
May 23, 2013
Because I love you, I'm not going to let you go out Friday night; it's for your own safety.
Because I love you, I'm going to go through your phone; to make sure nobody is trying to steal you from me.
A bouquet of flowers
"because I love you."
A box of chocolates
"because I love you."
A ring on one knee
"because I love you."
A holiday trip
"because I love you."
An angry red face
“
Scream!
Scream, my darling, I promise you that
my words are not nooses,
my love not poison,
my kisses not lethal injection.
I grew up in a house filled with I love you's,
Eyes and cheeks painted black and blue,
They got I love you the most,
My mom was as white as a ghost,
When my dad would say.. because I love you,
Because I Love You, but not really,
I will slip my hands into your mind,
Your Heart,
Your Soul,
Your Body,
And I will slowly destroy everything that makes you,
You.
I don't want to drown in your sea of sadness.I don't want to stand in your rain of madness.
I was a prisoner in your cave of sweet nothings.I was frozen in your winters, in love with your springs.
Because I love you,
I let you be you.
I love you because,
You let me be me too.
We don't worry about the future,
and we don't worry about the past.
If we work together,
forever we will last.
I want to be with you all the time
Because I love you
I want to not be miles apart
Because I love you
Don't talk to other guys
Because I love you
Don't talk to anyone, just go home
Love is not living lies, or screaming in faces.
Love is telling the truth, and talking through phases.
Love is not hitting, or holding back eachother
Love is holding and cuddling, or if needed letting go.
My Dearest Love,
How is it that one person so entirely enraptures another?
You make my soul feel light and give my heart a reason to flutter!
The worries I once had seem to melt away at the smile you give me,
In our generation, we only care
If the relationship looks "good" for the gram
"Wait let's show off on Snapchat"
And let me tweet that your meeting my fam
But no one questions the behind the scenes
You said eterinty
I though our love had purity
Thought I wouldn't be alone
In pain I moan
You left me gasping for air
What even was your issue
You made my heart scar tissue
Is this love to you
Little girl, little girl
What do you see with
Those brown eyes of yours?
I see my daddy throwing mommy
Because I love you does not mean I have to get rid of all my friends.
Because I love you does not mean I need to change my style.
Because I love you does not mean I have to silence myself.
you stole something from me.
pieces of me I can never get back,
and all the others after you
will try to rebuild me,
like the toys they
I know what an abusive relationship is,
Its not always physical,
Though sometimes it is,
I saw it in the eyes of my friend who was raped by her boyfriend,
To my first love:
Just 'cause your dad went mad, and your gad made you shake...
Just because
God
was shoved
down
your throat,
like a foul tasting medicine...
age seven
[don't hurt me again] "why are you doing that?"
handful of assorted pills
stained nightgown, innocence ruined
"it's okay, munchkin. i do it because i love you"
age thirteen
That's so stupidYou're the most beautiful woman in the world I love you most. And thrashing and hatingAnd loving and hating I'm just so tired of thisWell, maybe just one more chance And knowing and "forgetting" And soaring and hell And I love yo
He loves me when I smile
He loves me when I laugh
He loves me even when he calls me silly names
He loves me when he calls me bitch or stupid
I don't care when his words are mean
Because he loves me
she worried about him
as his family drama drew his cigarette closer
as the smoke filled his lungs, time kept getting slower.
as the aroma of nicotine filled the air, she could feel and smell his hurt and despair.
Because I love you:
I’ll make sure you eat and drink,
I’ll stop pestering if you say “I’m not hungry.”
Because I love you:
I’ll wipe your tears when you cry,
No control,
No marks to hide,
No taking its toll,
No scars inside.
No blackmail,
No control,
No marks to hide,
No taking its toll,
No scars inside.
No blackmail,
Soft blankets reluctantly pool in a heap,
Still warm from your body,
As you rise up--
Stretching languidly.
Yawning softly you slip out of bed
Because I Love You
By: Miranda York
Everyone always wants to know why.
Why does he hurt me?
Why does she leave me?
They don't understand like you do.
Everything you say starts with, “Because I love you.”
But you don’t. You never did.
If this was love, you wouldn’t say everything
Is always my fault.
I love you but you don’t know
Yet
How I gaze at you through your bedroom windows
How I marvel at your beauty as you study in the library
The King is never wrong
Everything is in His time
The whole world just sees it
As devoid of reason or rhyme
The world is His oyster
All must bend to His will
His family- His friends
Words.
The most powerful thing we humans posses
It can bring together nations and end wars
They can mend families and broken hearts
But
They could tare nations apart and dance in their ruins
Text me when you get home safe
(because I love you)
You know you can talk to me about anything
(because I love you)
I heard this and thought of you, so I had to share
Leaf falling down a tree
A whole life attached to a native bough
Clingstone to freestone, pinnate to palmate,
Persistent untill the wind sets it free,
Far from crown it goes now
Hate's leaf scar on its state
Love is everything,
Love is beautiful,
Love is all, for most.
For the unfortunate, love is gone
I am a victim,
There are many factors to have and hold someone,
These are essaintal,
Waking up,
you're by my side ,
I'm so in love with you .
I want to stay with you until we're old.
I know you don't mean it love
the kicks ,the screams,the punches.
You're hands ,
so soft ,
you are more than I deserve
than I will ever deserve
you are the cool and glorious rains that fall
blissfully to the scorched lands
that have been plagued
by drought
you are more than I deserve
than I will ever deserve
you are the cool and glorious rains that fall
blissfully to the scorched lands
that have been plagued
by drought
He said he loved her.
Shouting matches, leaving her with a life he helped create, he said he loved her.
He said he loved her too.
Free
Push her to the ground, watch her fall.See how strong you are?She cries from the pain and you just listen to her screams.Over and over again, In her mind, she dies.
I love you,
we're told,
is the most wonderful-
desired emotion.
Some search
their entire life.
Some
have never been without.
Some hope the truth
lies
I did not know what love was until I met him
It was not until I felt him caress my skin
He captured my heart
And locked me away
Because I love you, he said
The woods are where the bad things happen, they said
Where the evil goes
To celebrate its victories
To dance with hungry wolves
A 16-year-old died last night
And he felt no Love
Only the Darkness
His life consisted of
His mantra to the world
Was, "Reveal the truth!"
However when it came
He sought to delude
Once upon a time...
There was a young couple with too many kids:
Poor Isaac, Miss Sue, and sadly, young Sid.
The three of them had never enough to eat.
Momma didn't know what to do or who to meet.
The house is on fire
What will you do?
Your further actions
Will reveal you
Are you the Firefighter
Who seeks to quell the blaze
On the surface it is quite noble
Dust. Sweep. Mop. Clean. All day every day.
I do what you say, my Prince Charming.
But you still hit me anyway.
You said I was your dream.
Remeber how we danced? All the way until twelve.
She melted the sun,
He took away the moon.
She plucked the stars from the sky,
He organized them into neat piles.
She painted the roses white,
He ran them over with his truck.
A sweet young flower
a delicate Rose
dancing in the April shower
learning as she grows
A man drunk with lust
came from behind hid in the shadows
her peace and dreams he crushed
Rubies glint on the sill in the light of the sun--
A light she'd once seen through miles of murk.
"Happily ever after" she heard herself say,
While her stranger of a husband prepared for his work.
Water rushes without the light
All alone, a lonely plight
A whoosh of air, I’m not alone
A bright, bright light
Your face then shone.
Boom! Crash! Snap.
"We can't protect the fallen.
We can't relieve the screeching
Even if we try."
Trembling and weak
The Castle is elegant
Ornate and pristine
However its configuration
Was made to deceive
Who will believe
The evils that occurred here?
The yelling, screaming
The palpable fear
Picture of the past,
Replaced with pictures of you.
The fun times that turned sour then,
Is just history now.
Standing on the edge of ,
Dark and light,
We raise our hands, and
You make me love you,You make me hate you,But can't you see
I always get what I want,so stop messing with my head.You can't make me say "I love you too."Even though I do.
Bound by blood,
This wicked hate
This unsettling darkness,
This thing that only we know about.
Trapped by fears,
We shiver in the cold.
No one knowing what we hold.
It was pure luck
I saw her from far away
From the darkness of the brush
And I prepare my jaws to crush
Her name was Little Red
Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your fears.
Do what you want as long as the witch doesn't hear.
How did the witch feel when she found that you were with child?
A baby with a baby
The Open Cage
The cage door remains flung wide
Yet the bird remains inside,
Trapped by the wide open door,
Blue like the world he won’t tour.
Refusing to walk away
Cut me open like you do those scars on your wrists.
You use to hate the sight of blood,
But now the sting and crimson oozing from your wrist has become your favorite addiction.
Was it the way you said my name?
Or could it be the tender touch
Of strong, masculine hands
Gently caressing the dull locks
Of my hair?
Average feels like a death sentence
Odessa stumbled in
Bruised, bleeding, broken
"Honey, what happened?"
"Just some tea, please."
Hijab around her neck like a noose
Ripped silk and torn skin.
I was born with puppet strings in my skin.
With hooks in my joints and a painted-on smile.
I was born to please and placate,
To be Mommy's Little Angel
(To look pristine).
I was born to vomit bubblegum pink
Once upon a time
A girl loved a boy.
A bewitching boy.
A boy she had never met
A boy she only knew from afar
But a boy she loved nonetheless.
One day the girl got a message
Late at night my soul Cries and Weeps .
laying in my bed I hope He doesn't Creep
into my room or onto my bed waiting for the "midnight" Treat.
Holding my legs and eyes tight Shut
how dare you!
leave her childless;
how dare, this world...
this icy world,
with sin and shame.
allow two boys to take the blame.
who sadly lost their mother,
to the fists of a drunken father!
She's in love with an alcoholic,
I find it a little scary,
that people can go and gossip,
not knowing what she is feeling.
Abuse that she has to face,
his anger she have to taste.
Her life is a metaphor,
My childhood's full of stories--
Happy endings and of kings:
Of fairy-tales where love prevails
And princes give me wings...
I knew that prince was coming,
But I couldn't stand the wait;
Hands or claws?
Fangs or teeth?
Fur or skin?
The broken dishes
The broken chair
The broken girl
The broken home
Shakingly removing the weight from her left hand
Realizing the danger
The Brain"You're so smart." "Such intelligence is so mature for your age."My books give me knowledge.My good grades.The praise from everyone feeds this false ideology.
Will you remember the way you made me hate myself?
Will you remember the tears I cried from your continuous cheating?
Well I remember the scars you left,
Stabs into the heart as you degrade me of my worth,
Sick love.
We hold each other.
So sick and tainted.
Our flesh is whole but our souls are rotten,
It's a maggot ridden love.
Our feelings nibble holes through our hearts.
Forbear me- lest I remember
The 1500 hour
For those less than 16 it was the hour of R&R
For me it was the prelude to the dour
Oh minor me! How you had to give your voice variation
I.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned
II.
Fluorescent lights contrast dawn
the Sun has yet to break
She grabbed her pearl beads
And her room key
Left her soul in agony
Cold street corners
Search for donors
Empty handed she won’t be
Empty hearted, possibly
Dying slowly, audibly
We walk
Through the woods of my backyard
My fingers skim across
The rough bark of a tree.
I’ve lost sight of you,
It’s amazing how you have the ability to cut me down and bring me to my highest of highs,
In a single sentence, you have this uncanny ability to remind me how small I am.
I am sitting in a hotel room, staring at a three dollar bottle of wine when I realize that I do not have a corkscrew. There is blood on the towels in the bathroom which I do not dare revisit and I remember the first time you held me.
Well, I squeak and I switched when I saw them coming,
They are about to bruise me again,
And they caught up with me,
What have I got to say?
It's a world so cold when you're living with the harsh one,
Like a little kid
When the lights go out
My soul is dark and scary
This there is no doubt
My brain wages a war it cannot face
The pounding of your fist at the door of my chest
Can no longer withstand what you tell it to
No matter the number of times you use your sultry words to beckon it to life
You told me once that you were fine
I told myself you were right, you’d never lie
I know now where i went wrong
Seeing you today was the reminder you are gone
To keep ourselves from going mad, we tell ourselves little lies.
"He didn't mean it in that way, it was an accident, it's my fault, he didn't know what he was doing".
I was born from drug addicted parents, but no one saw me.
I father killed himself when I was at the age of two, but no one saw me.
My mother was mentally ill and abusive, but no one saw me.
whether it be the weather , or too much alcohol somewhere inside the stone monument , erosion clapped its hands and its job was completeweathering down a great stone monument from the inside out when they told me stories of great monoliths and str
You trust me, don’t you? I love you.
You whispered so sweetly, I believed you, I believed you could free me from my cage.
I loved you, I trusted you.
Our bound was unreliably new
You'd tell me that you were terrified to go home
That he would beat you even though you were his own
I'd worry for days on end
Horrified to lose a friend
Each night as tears cascaded onto my pillow case
America the beautiful, the broken
The late night party, he takes advantage
When she wakes up, she feels the damage
There are no repercussions for his evil deed
1492.
The year America stopped being great,
and turned into a country full of abusement,
a center of hate.
I'm three years old and I can't speak
about the things my mama does
I caught her once
Death was a beauty she could not afford,
Endless day with even more restless nights,
Sitting there saying, "oh help me lord",
No answer would come, and ended in fights.
America is greatbut the people who made is great don't get to experience it
when profits are low they cut jobs instead of their paychecksthe only people who feel the burden are the ones just trying to scrape by
I brush my lips across my abusers cheekThey say the abuse lies skin deep, but I say it rests in my heartAnother night we spend like this, all snuggled up like we lovedBut we did not feel love, we felt resentment deep within
They call it the land of Suburbia,
Where I can live the rest of my days without worry.
There is no
Violence.
No thought of
War.
No one thinks,
Can I try to escape from
All my nightmares and demons
Soon this era will be done
The truth of time is too blunt
To not cut like a sharp knife
Alcohol for the first time
Alcohol every weekend
Alcohol every free-time
Now the drunkness came to an end.
Weed for the first time
Weed every weekend
Weed every free-time
There's a song in the streets.
It's right below our feet.
We choose to ignore it.
We all learn to take a hit.
There's a child screaming mercy.
The President's a controversy.
As I write my final letter to you, I don't feel any remorse.
In fact, I almost feel relived to know that little parasite is gone.
I know I put the parasite on me, and I let it drain me for so long.
Ab(use)
A helping hand turned into a hurting hand
Good guidelines gone too far
Daily duties met with demand
What should have been a talk, ends up a scar
Your sun sets as mine rises.
My mind thrashes as yours serenes.
Oh, what a beautiful tragedy it is.
For a girl to love a guy who has forgotten.
Slamming doors
Screaming voices
Don’t make a sound.
Slamming doors
Screaming voices
There’s not a soul to save you now.
Meek.
Shy.
Eyes cast downward.
Cringe.
Flinch.
Hide the bruises.
Break.
Fling.
Leave a Note.
Cry.
Die.
A small, pink cloak.
You say you love me, So why do you hurt me? You isolate me. You say it's for my safety, But what is it keeping me safe from? My friends, My family? You scream at me. Spit flying from your mouth, As you cry obscenities at me, For breaking rules
1997-2002:
[No memories]
late 2003, one hour south of Switzerland:
Dad smashed my Gameboy.
He told me the screen looked better as a sunset.
I’m only seven, but
You play like a broken record I just can't throw out
What with your intense skips and gaps and repeats in a song I used to love
he’s a snake these days
slithering around
an anaconda
he suffocates me
I wish you were here
you’d stop him
When you score your first goal, go out for ice cream
When your teacher gives you your first gold star, frame it
Her eyes,
So deeply unsettling,
As I watched
The tragedy unfold.
Her hair,
Tangled in his fist,
Was used
Sometimes you look at me
as though i’ve never kissed a girl before.
I cannot tell if it is pity or love
which causes you to fret over my virgin lips.
I hear the clamorFrom behind the door.I hear the shouting,The racket, the roar. I long to silenceThe voices outside,And the strength inside meSays, “God will provide.” They fight and argue;They can’t get along;It’s like they’ve forgotten You,When
the united statesin a separated stateMinorities vs Majorities brother vs brother separated like oil and vinegar because Liberty and Justice For All only quailifies when your Caucasian father and motherpull 100K a yearno justice for the black boy w
i never wanted to admit this to myself.
i never wanted it to be true.
i feigned ignorance,
hoping that maybe if i pretended
it wasn't happening,
it wouldn't happen.
but it did.
Ten was the first lie. “I’m not doing that crap, I’d never lie to you.”
Nine was the next fight. Slamming doors, throwing things, and hitting each other.
My body is paper.
I fold myself to what you need
Scribble pretty words on myself
So that you’ll think I’m
Pretty
Smart
Sometimes I think I see him still,
in his old white Benz,
blasting rap like he used to.
Sometimes I think he will find us again,
Hey old friend, I'm glad you're doin fine Thought I'd stop in just to drop a line Heard you were worried Bout my life Guess you heard people didn't treat me right Hey old friend, did you forget What you did to me, do you regret? Cause though othe
Promises, promises.
What do they mean?
We give in to the lies, we give in to the need.
You told me you wouldn't hurt me, you told me it was the last time.
Open.
I see my window and the light shining through, I smell the toast in the kitchen,
I feel the sheets on my bed, I taste the damp air,
I hear the singing birds.
A Cadet in college takes another sipalong with his brothers so why would he quit?Sitting on a bean bag having the time of his lifehe'd drink away his problems and wouldn't think twice.
My father stumbles in
Feet tripping over-
Heel toe, heel toe
At a quarter to 2
-Am, of course
My mother is asleep in her bed
Falling asleep with someone is comforting, Waking up intertwined is gaiety. But trusting someone is hard and trusting yourself is the hardest.Lips on that bottle, crying until your smell was no longer lingering,Life became transparent.My future wa
This is not my body
This is not my body
This skull does not belong to me
This skull that you bashed in with a beer bottle is no longer mine
This neck that you wrapped your fingers around is not under my possession
This is not my body
This is not my body
This skull does not belong to me
This skull that you bashed in with a beer bottle is no longer mine
This neck that you wrapped your fingers around is not under my possession
When I was thirteen,
I knew exactly who
I was going to marry.
He would be tall,
and strong,
with black hair
and even blacker eyes.
He would be my protector.
There's a ring in the air
A whoosh of the wind breeze taking you away from your computer's' ting ting
and a reminder bell in my brain clanking
"finish me Serafina"
finish
before
you fail
Day one. The Year is born, boom!
Fireworks gleam above shaded cities today.
Years back, fifteen, to be exact. Beat.
Mother's love? Pah! 2016 sends her away.
Feel unhindered. Free, they say.
Deceivers, yes they do deceive.
Believers, o how they believe.
Take heed to the warning,
Let me be, I must proceed.
Blindly walking in misconception,
Twenty Sixteen was a year of deception.
As I write, my heartbeat accelerates.
As I think of him, my hands start to shake.
I thought this was what I was waiting for all my life.
The year 2016 is when I really had to put up a fight.
From the vibrations of my screams
to caper-colored bruises
you denied me to be all women, a
Woman in passion
Woman in tears
Woman with smiles
Woman and proud.
watching the rain fall
makes me vulnerable
every emotion i've ever felt
pours out of me
you
all of my emotions lead
back to you
joy
desolation
envy
lust
all at once
Stabbed in the ear by ten different tounges
That made me work for silver one.
You are neglectful of my own neglect
Now I am sitting tall, purched over the blind
Calling me weak made me bench weights so I can bench you
And then,
there was silence.
You were just a memory.
Your voice,
your words,
your face,
your smile.
I swallowed my pride, remembered that Patroclusdidn't have to die and that Enochleft no bloody body to mourn. I knew the tragedy of mourning.
A year ago your angry handsLeft red and purple sunset marks on my porcelain skin.Your lips dripped honey-covered apologies,But nothing ever really changed.
Let me tell a story
About my heart getting broken
He made me feel like crap, so he could get a token
I was outspoken, nothing I could do or say
Theres only one thing I could do to numb this pain
I really trusted you, I really bothered to care
I gave ya' honesty but truthfully it wasn't fair
Gave in to truth or dare, took off my underwear
Naive and prone to danger, now I'm left with shame to cater
I can't watch shrek anymoreIt sounds like a little thing but it's notIts the story of loving someone beautiful or notNot just when they're falling apartThe song comes on and i shake
The clock strikes 2 am
As I wait for him
To blow down the doors
The phone rings
That is probably him
I answer it
It was not my husband
Rushing downtown
I run through the doors
Encrusted red splattered walls
Red spotted floors
Serve to remind me
How everything I do
Is wrong in his eyes
Those bloodshot eyes
Coming home every evening
With flammable breath
You can't hurt me like you used to
Its been six years you should be through
You taint my name
Spread your distortion
All in consequence to your shame
And obsessive discomposure
Katrina DeKett
Papered Love Poem
999.
1 more and peace.
Half over half, color side up.
1 more and peace.
Rainbow Love
My sperm donor
Some people would call him my father
Said he loved me more than a rainbow
And that was when I learned
Sleeping is peaceful,
the darkenss is a blanket that surrounds and comforts.
Dreams are vivid, full of life, and love.
I lay my head on the pillow ready for peace to overcome my soul.
The sun had risenThe sun shines inAnd I’m forced to awakenTo this world of sin. The clock is tickingAs I lay in bedTime drags onAs I fantasize about being dead. I tell myself to “get a grip”People have had worseEveryone has told me thatBut it does
It was bliss in the start,
it was only you I gave my heart to.
You thought I was a fool,
Now I don't know what to do.
It was you that I turned to to keep the pain away.
Thanks to you
I was left feeling blue.
You finally gave me a chance
To get out of your trance.
Thanks to you
I was left without a "how-to"
I didn't know how to move on
When I was 13 I wanted to be dead. It was the year I told about the abuse. I finally stood up for six year old me and suddenly I was the bad guy because of it.
if i could tell you one thing
i would tell you
that i was sorry
really sorry,
aching chest sorry
and i would tell you to love yourself
Why is it that I can sense a snake in the grass and will run in the opposite direction
but when I felt you inching closer and closer to me I watched you like a National Geographical special, a child mesmerized by the carnival rides
Drink, drink, yell, yell, hit hit
The little girl is the target
Swing and throw until she falls down
Go to the lake and try to drown
There are minimal downsides to being a Poet,
But one of the few is that it's difficult to simultaneously be One
As well as the girl you want me to be.
It's difficult becuase we'll be in English class,
Mom always writes in uppercase
I watch her in repose,
The phone in the nape of her neck still sighing
Like a helpless long-necked rose.
You called to ask me how I was today
Though the last time we talked I was breaking your heart.
You were yelling and you were crying and you said I was to blame.
I reached out to the sun, but he burned me
No matter how I approached, I was scorched.
The sun seemed to burn brighter each day for months
I wanted to be close, to feel the warmth
he was so bright
God, he was bright
he made my skin burn when he touched it
he made my heart race,
air so thick I couldn't get a breath
like the hottest day of mid-July.
yes, he was bright
So here’s how it goes.I breathe my life into the wind
and the mists carry it to the sea
I found a faded photograph
Of my grandparents
Not the grandparents you’ve met
My grandmother who died of cancer
The one I’m named after
My biological grandfather who killed himself
Just keep my mind inside my head
We’ll be us both inside my bed
I’ve got to keep my life instead
Of staying in my lonely head
Dreadful Dreadful
In every cell
Dreadful Daughter
Lives in hell
Dreadful Dreadful
You cant tell
Dreadful Daughter
Fakes it well
Dreadful Dreadful
Hear her knell?
A year defined and caged by a measurement, and constrained by time, could never explain the revelations, or cover the cost of my silent frustrations.
He walks with a step more than man Bowing beneath the doorway of her room And when he speaks it replaces the air Like cigar smoke He urges her to sit as he lights the fireplace Though she is already hot He stalks to her and his fingertips are rou
There's a path lost in the plains.
It leads nowhere
It is worshipped for its ability to mislead
It knows you.
It knows what you have done,
It has seen the inside of your skull and all of it's
Could you hear me if I shout,
Or have you forgotten my words?
I taught them to you when we loved in separate worlds,
They weren't words at all, but our own special language
The boy who always yell,
He bullies,
He fights,
He cries.
At home,
Abused,
Alone,
Frieghtened.
No friends,
No love,
No one listening,
No one.
I'm doing this because I love you,
Don't you get it?
What happens when I'm gone,
And you have no one to look up to.
Huh? Huh?
On the fifteenth day
Of April,
Of the eighteenth year,
Lay my motivation
To rub dry tears from my eyes
And have a great day.
Father has become a forgotten word,
Lost in the back of my head.
Every now and then, he appears in her lips.
Every now and then, I get to hear what I missed.
You are simply divine!
Just look at how your hair, in the sun, shines!
That makeup has not even a single stray line!
I bet you're compatible with everyone's sign!
I found the one for me.
Or so I thought.
I found the devil.
Found it in him.
Found it in the one who said he'd be there for me.
For now my vision of love is nothing but psychosis.
One with rainbow hair and one with golden eyes.
A high school project turned sweet
walking through hallways of deceased childhoods and wet pillowcases
where little boys and girls couldn’t find protection in their own homes
their lips cold
I am just a girl.
Unaware and overdressed.
Spent too long looking in the mirror
You weren’t there I guess
I recently wrote my first poetry book and I thought I would share it with the poetry community.
If you would like to support it you can type in Gissel Grizzle or Untold Verses into the Amazon search.I'm not able to post the link here.
Dear Brown Boy
Why are you so scared to let me in?
Allow my honey kissed lips to graze upon your coco butter skin
And effortlessly our two chocolate bodies will melt together
This pain is simply pulling me apartCaught between you and the freedom of hopeThe simple irony of your oath"I promise to let you breathe," Yet your hands are around my neck."I promise to let you see," Still you are all I know."I promise to let you
She DEFILED herself! Body pains, sunken eyes, flaky, sore, bleeding lips and her body as cold as ice. She chugged the water to silence the rumbling of her stomach as she walked out the door. She gave all the right answers and was
My words are deafened by the sound of an unspoken tongue;A language more ancient than mankind itself.She uttered phrases that Shepard's used to heed their sheep
She was beautiful like sleeping in on a Monday morning.
No, she was as a caboose arriving for the man about to break loose across the tracks,
I was stopped by a man in a room made of gold
He sat and told me his life story
yet he couldn't look me in the eyes
as he called me beautiful
We were both looking for "God" in all the wrong places
In this life, I will die a thousand times over.
I've learned the sun doesn't wait for me, and it doesn't wait for you,
and that's okay
We can watch the stars together in the meantime
hope n. - grounds for believing that something good may happen
The definition of hope is open to interpretation.
Hoping that mothers will leave abusive husbands,
I have grown to hate my grandfather.
I have grown to hate my grandfather.
I have grown to hate his smile.
I have grown to hate his smile that used to greet me with such kindness and authority.
Abuse
Do you like this?
Do you like seeing my suffer.
All the blood and tears you've gave me...
I don't cut for a chuckle or to amuse.
But to show the pain and years of abuse.
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.
True. Those are the lyrics to a song, but let’s be real here for a moment.
You know you need me, just flat out admit it.
Parents.
I no longer view this word this way
P4r3nT5.
Now this is much better
A mess of stuff that is put together to make it look, decent.
Trigger WarningsThey aren't always easy to avoid. Simple phares"Because you're special"I don't feel special when things happen to me and I don't understand them."But you are"When someone tries to argue back when I ask them not at say that.Trigger
Awake choking,
Bathe crying,
Walk limping,
Become deserted,
And you'd understand why suicide is prevalent,
It's just another way out of this claustrophobic world,
Some times fate takes too long,
I took the pen where words failed me
I had no sword to fight,
The dragons that had besieged me
From day to my very first night
I wrote to silence screaming
And bid demons stay away
How interesting
that I have never
loved anyone
I have
slept with.
How interesting that
I have never slept
with anyone
I love.
Such a paradox.
It makes me sick.
Words are like water. They flow from the mouth as if it were a waterfall.
They cause rain in the form of teardrops to roll down the mountains
I've never turned down a dare.
They call me fearless,
I don't tell them I cry most nights because of the unknown.
I do what I want when I want.
They call me bold,
I awoke to a loud bang as my room was filled with the
Flashing blue and white lights.
This was normal in my life because my parents loved to fight.
My father while high had beat my mother because she was a "bother".
She wondered why he was never home
And only thought and thought
Maybe he was really near
Or maybe he just forgot
6 torn cardboard walls hold distant memories- hah, more like serrated puzzle pieces with razor sharp edges, stabbing one another yet fitting perfectly - yet willingly accepting the nerve wrenching pain and sudden discoloration of their o
The Land of Trees
A Place that's quite green.
Filled with lush and so many hearts.
The beauty it offers is a luxury.
Nature is so vast...
there is so much we can do.
But I warn you...
she cries herself to sleep every night, holding on with all her might. She worries about what the future will bring, Will she lose everything? She thinks that she's all alone, And that nowhere feels like home.
He hurt me.
I have lost count of things broken and blood spilled.
1,5,20 to many punches to the gut and kicks to the shin.
Remeber how you burned my skin?
Forgive me,
but I have such a hard time believing that you're being sincere.
I feel my fingers rattling—
tapping other bones,
nervously checking my phone,
I stagger through the gate and my daughter comes running,
“Daddy! Daddy!” she screams running into my waiting arms.
I lift her,
I throw her up in the air,
I see her flying,
I want to break her fall,
There is no end to the circle I live in.
I attempt to trace back my steps,
but my resistance is met by force.
Around and around I go:
Stuck within the rotation- my existence is characterized by one of two states:
It's only 5 letters but feels more like a mouthful.
You've bit off more than you can chew now you're choking on it.
You can't swallow your pride so you spit it out.
Pulsating pain shatters her fragile bones
Her mind a whirlpool of thoughts
An engine drone
A burst of heat! She moans
A Jab! A Stab! She groans
Aching for survival
A gentle voice
A needle: a small, thin object
with a sharp point that mends
our open wounds.
Sewing needles are polished
and used by seamstresses
to keep our clothes
stitched and tailored.
The night he took my innocence.
Was the night everything changed.
His shirt had been my favorite color,
A color that I can no longer bare to see.
His laugh,
So pure and happy,
Dear little black girl,
You are not so much little but your heart is the same,
broken.
Smokey room filled with chills,
Empty bottles, and pills.
Today's fears are tomorrows tears.
She feels Euronymous creep in,
As he shatters every seam.
Today she is seen but tomorrow dreamed.
And There I was with my mother
with the stumbled soul
and already fallen as hard wood and perforated
The suffering made me my father in life
so fierce the anger of my being to have hope to continue living
Again.
A scorching night of booze-inspired yells lingers in the air.
The Heat causes the mistakes to stick to the yellowed, resin walls and the sweat soaked sheets.
I have an illness.
I have an illness you cannot see.
I have an illness you cannot see that is terminal.
I forgive.
I forgive you when you warn me.
I should have been more grateful.
That moment, where words from my mind
Flow through my hand and into my pen
That moment, when all of the thoughts
Become organized, and no longer scream
Are you listening?! Can you hear me...
Do you even care?
Women in the Web by Kari Barge
Things have changed
We may not be burned at the stake
But we are forced to fake…
As a way to not feel depressed,
Or maybe it was oppressed.
The fifth grade was only a start,
As a senior I still feel its mark.
My mother felt the bottle or aluminum can was an escape
She wore her hair a certain way, so she could cover her face.
No one would question her puffy eyes, it was her disguise.
He saw her once; her hair all down,hiding her face filled with disgrace.
I read that words have the power to change us and for the longest time, I refused to believe it.
that crawling feeling when you're feeling all alone
that buzzes from the depths of your soul
to the teeth in your skull
to the tips of your fingers, bouncing on the keys,
i’m becoming what i hate
i’m becoming who i fear
hanging on another day
holding out another year
so three cheers for self improvement
to whom this may concern: i am now free
i do not wish to sing thee barren praise
nor have it fall on eyes that cannot see
They say that the most talented are also some of the most broken
That the authors of poems and the artists of paintings had to have felt so much more fiercely than others to create such beauty
Inability to communicate
To Elaborate
To Speak
It is quite a terrible fate
One which should not be cursed
Even upon those that you hate
Yet here I was
Crying
my dog lani
had a hernia on her stomach
she spent a lot of time crying
now she spends her time wreaking havoc
on our brand new carpet--and it's my dad who's crying
my dog lani
I used to have a God
I think I left him, but is there a chance that he has left me too?
It's so that eveything hurts and words are all that come.
No feeling.
No understanding.
I hear you words everyday
in somhow in some way
you say you aren't controlling me
but I am trapped I'm not free.
You degrade me in public
call me names to make me feel pychotic
Black tips on the wings of an angel
Dipped in the ashes of her hell
The life she lives is less tham holy
Because of the things that rule she
In light of the lasting maturity
That made her grow up prematurely
I wish I was a bird.I could fly far away and never come back.I would finally be happy, and this depression I have I would finally lack.I would soar higher than any bird has before.
I wish I was a bird.I could fly far away and never come back.I would finally be happy, and this depression I have I would finally lack.I would soar higher than any bird has before.
Hello,
Do You Love Me?
I know the last time we spoke you made it plain
That you didn't care about me, or my pain
You shoved all the blame on me
And now it's as obvious as can be
I can stop at any time,
I don’t need it.
I just want it.
The needles, the pills…
The crystal, the shrooms…
The dust, the dragon…
My tabs, my acid…
My herbs and my rock…
I like the warmth,
They give us their devotion and love,
We respond with hate.
They show us their loyalty,
We cast them out on the street.
They offer us constant companionship,
We leave them alone to die.
You don’t get to have me
You can’t have me anymoreI take a deep breath
Everything is okay
KindaI’m scared
I feel trappedBut there’s no reason for me to be scared anymoreYou can’t get me and you never will.You monster.“Is this what you think of me
Picking up the bottle The stinging taste Burning you're throat You feel the heavy liquid Rolling over your tongue You roll the joint next to you You light it up and take a puff Coughing uncontrollably from the toxins Your friends keep telling you
I let my breath goPlease don’t let me be a statisticI cry into my mothers arms, the first time I told her of my abuse.I refuse.I will not let someone else feel what I have felt.
There are times in your life,
times you’re overwhelmed
by joyous feelings, then
there are times in your life,
times you’re overwhelmed
by deep, dark, hurtful feelings.
He scratched me
and beat me
and threw me around
But I let the tears fall as I dont make a sound.
Once there was a girl that cried at night
Her daddy would hate and hit and fight
When she got older her mother remarried
And it felt as if a great weight had been carried
But she couldnt forget the scars in her mind
They’re fighting again,
I think they’re going to kill each other.
She’s screaming for them not to,
She’s on the floor, but they won’t listen.
“Wounded pride is not conductive to apologies”
I held my champagne glass high
A man made a witty toast,
We all laughed in agreement.
And then we raised the liquid to our lips
As I looked around the vast living room,
Broken wings
Shattered piece of mind
Trapped on Earth
Unending time
No way back
No way home
Surrounded by evil
No place to roam
Good is evil
And evil is here
Hurt runs deep
Tears are shed
Hearts are torn
Love is dead
Try so hard
Always fail
Bruised and scarred
Blood's red trail
Makes it's mark
On my heart
Like a bullet,
Run, run, run away
Run 'til you reach a brand new day
Far from the prison you call your home
Where fists and screams have broken your bones
Cry, cry, cry away
Cry 'til you run out of words to say
I never realized how much I was missing out on life
Never realized I was still in the night
You found me smoking a cigarette and you reached out your hand
Why me?
I didn’t want to wake up. I wanted to play dead
Being blind and not even knowing it
Daily activities going through life in a daze
Running, always chasing trying not to be caught
You were the death of me
Those venomous lips with a sweet toxic taste
Your hissing tongue twisting with mine
All of this lead to my devastating fate
I was told what a biohazard you were
So show me why Show me the light Don’t let me go I’m scared to be alone so hold me close And don’t let me go I know your hurting me From the inside out And yet why Why do I love you? Why I see you dear Tears in vain What if I tear rain?
Love is as sweet as honey, yet
True love is a steel chain
that stretches over the broadest ocean.
A feeling as delightful as sunlight, yet
Another smile, another tear,
Another kiss, a lot more fear,
Another hit, nothing is clear,
Another memory that will last for years.
Another heart that has been broken,
Another wound that has been opened,
Kiss my hand before you break my fingers,
The stinging pain will always linger.
Light fingertips stroke my cheek before you leave a bruise,
Without an option, there is no way I may refuse.
I told myself the only way to heal is destruction.
“You will be rebirthed,” I said, “your destruction equals creation.”
We like to pretend that we're the three wise monkeys,
We pretend to be blind,
We turn a blind eye to evil,
We pretend that we're blind and that it never happened,
Because of you I'm scared for life
Because of you I'm scarred for life
Because of you I'm afraid to trust my best friends...
I believe in a god
But not a god that others do
I believe in a god
That makes bookstores feel mystical
That makes you catch a whiff of old books
That makes you almost swoon with nostolgia
Clumsy moves on tippy toes
spinning on those itchy carpet floors
vibrant colors and familiar smells
he takes it all he takes some more...
mothers voice and soothing hands
knotted hair and sticky fingers
Everyone is different.
Everyone is beautiful in their own way.
But there is this one girl.
She doesnt see her beauty like you do.
Shes been told she is ugly.
Shes been told she is worthless.
Like a ballet dance on blades,Your mind is a fickle thing. Relevé, going fully en pointeOn razorblades,Slice your sole to sorry shreds--So very fucking sorry.
here I lay on my face
so ashamed
such disgrace
they wanted me
for sex alone
when they have it
you're on your own
battered
torn
hurting
bruised
by those men
I was told to write my feelings down, so I inked pain on a piece of torn paper, instead of etching it onto my skin. I wrote with ink instead of my blood. So why did the tears fall the same? And why did my heart ache the same? Thoughts cry
I’ll get you high if you want to take the climb.
Ten thousand steps.
Explode, land mine.
Watch your feet.
Ecstasy.
Never scream. The one unspoken rule, the one and only coveted truth.Not when she cries, not when he lies,Not even with maggot-like fingers caressing your thighs. Never, ever scream.
Baby, please, sunshine--darling;Gimme more of that light, little bit ofEnthusiastic beaming, sunrays I tore from your shy smile.I love making you think it was your idea.
Poppies asunder put me under;A slumber bathed in deep, dark umber, Oneiroi aplenty approach me there;Company where there exists no air. Poppies given to me by you;Poisonous mixture, a warlock's brew.
Bloody carnations, stamped down flat into sizzling concrete;The smell of their demise is sickly sweet.It's caught in my lungs, filling them up as thoughAll the air I now breathe is just tar--
Why care so much when all he did was hurt you?
Why do you cry when you think about him being gone?
He hurt you to no extent,
severely broken and unable to be fixed.
My love,
tell me...
My wrist, formless, shifting and breaking like a cloud;You grab hold, tightly--too tightly,And I vaporize before your eyes.
From between the tangled legs of the trees
A thousand leagues buried in the oyster of the Earth
Lay it's pearl, entombed in the roots of the ancient wood
And one day it was alive.
I've got the scars on my heart to prove my pain
After this I will never be the same
You say I only have me to blame
But you, the liar, should feel ashamed
I've got scars on my heart to to show why I cry
I hate how the word hopeimpersonates a pleasant state of being
How it whispers wishful whimpers
Soft promises to keep my heart beating
As if I need to hold on
You.. You were so beautiful.. You were so beautiful, but not like your attractiveness,I was attracted to you for you gave off the feeling of home.. Safety.. Love.. The feeling I needed. You were so beautiful and so large..
Dark tracks of you follow me,Taking the breath out of my lungs.I choke on the thought of you;Till my heart upliftsTo let you go.
A 16 year old girl, innocently dancing to the music of love
BLANK
She awakes to feel her body ache
All you do is hurt me.
Your actions are evil and so are you.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be free.
You are so abusive and beastly.
To say I depended on you
would be an understatement.
I was addicted to the way we were.
To say you were my everything
would be an understatement.
One day I couldn't reconize myself. I looked in the mirror and couldn't find my face from all the troubles of the world. I wear a smile to cover the pain as I wash away the blood and scars. He hit me. As the red washed away my mind did too.
I heard the hurricane
Felt the air pressure change
Terrified for my crouching child
Holding her as tight as I could
Blocking her from danger
As my master cracks his whip
Even when I close my eyes,
I can still see the fists wildly being thrashed at me
Even when I cover my ears,
I can still hear the spits of insults and names being flung at me
Even when I touch my skin
If you loved him,Those words wouldn't roll off your tongue like a ball down the alley. If you loved him, Yelling at him would burn your throat like you just look 7 shots of liquor. If you loved him,You wouldn't be able to call him names because yo
If his eyes were a gun, they would've shot me.
If his heart were a bomb, I would've been blown to peices with my head on his chest.
If his soul were a black hole, I would've fell in.
He pours scalding water
over your wounds
boiling you from the outside in.
His words are poison soap
grating off layers of the world
Stay with me.For my heart will become a bitter place without you.
You have taught me what happiness isand have guided me towards everlasting bliss.
All I need is my Bible, my faith in Godpursuing through my blood and enveloping loveFrom the man who taught me to hate, and stole my loveMy teacher, my abuser, stole my heart away.
Putting her on a pedestal makes you a fool.
Lust only lasts for so long, so take time for yourself so you don't get stuck in the wrong.
Return to your interests instead of what controls you.
He broke me, dragged me
to his dingy white van
I could not stand, bruised
and waving out of reality
for how could he do this to me
Even that night beneath the stars
i can feel you looking at me when i walk past you.
you see me, you act like you didn't, but i can feel your eyes on me.
you only have two eyes but it feels like a million.
it feels gross. it feels dirty. it feels scary.
You say you're here for me
You say I can count on you
You say... a lot of things.
"You just aren't like that"
"You should lower your expactations"
"Reality check..."
Depression is an abusive relationship
One that starts out small and slow
You don't notice at first
But you're slowly isolated
From all the people and things that
Might be able to help
ABUSED SURVIVER
Balling your fist
Just hoping you missed
Every single throw.
But then agian
Oh, there you go
With every blow.
Just knocking me down
Smacking me around
His hazel eyes can only see so much
But he has no clue, i live in this ditch
Where there lies pain and disgust, tears and
perhaps one day it will either break me or mend.
i will gouge his eyes out i will splinter his bones i will spill his insides
i will break him like he broke her
piece by piece
my best friend was molested by her grandfather
he deserves it all
I know you have said it all before
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it
The fight we had last night, you called me ugly
I’m sorry, you’re beautiful
I watch as she says she loves him
The way he loves isn't love
Why can't she see
He beats her when she does something wrong
She says she'll leave him
But it's not true
1. Simply,
if my mother had not met my father
I wouldn’t be here today.
Regardless of the fact that I was an accident…
I can’t live without my parents.
2. I was never not thinking,
My mind is not my own.
I gave it away piece by piece -
tied it up in a ribbon with bits of my beating heart
and put it at the feet of a girl whose love was a pair
of spiked cleats.
How could I walk and not hit into that wall I do not know,
for those bruises I bore left me unhinged and broken
For times I thought not for myself I became a blank slate.
I wouldn't talk to you or anyone else.
I cannot stand, nor sit here in this darkness i dread
There is none to follow me or compliment this ability
I cannot hold such negativity here in my hand
The pain, too much for me is now rotting in the corner.
my hands still shake
when people ask about you
i try to stop the trembling in my voice
as the flood of memories hits me
My face, distorted in the sun
under my right eye a deep scar remembers
the pain of abuse, and the tears he has left me inside
I could not cry under this mask, yet I find another route
There are times
Times of happiness and times of joy. Moments that I feel like the sun.
But you can't look at the sun.
The sun
It shines so endlessly, affecting everyone it touches
He ripped out her heart
And left her lying on the sidewalk
A single tear rolled out her eye
and slowly swam down cheek
She didn't know why
She didn't feel her emotions
being torn apart
"You Motherfucker"
She said as she let the darkness within her
That she suppressed and kept hidden for
so long, awaken.
Rendering him powerless
with every word she spoke.
Lately this darkness has been eating me aliveThis darkness that I was lost in.Standing in that extra 7 miles.I was a fool to have walked in it.Like a chemist, you brewed up meth.Feeding me with happiness,
cold hands which anchor a young daughter's soul
the introduction to a labyrinth never ending
yet what is love but a mere property of The man
in which case i will always belong to thee
What part of "no"
did you not understand?
Are you really that incopetent,
man?
You had me convinced afterwards that
it was all in my head.
That I was making this up
They see the shiny outside,the one that looks brand new.They see the gloss and all they think is“That’s what I want, too.”
The night was dark
The shadows darker
As they danced on the walls
They sang of a story
Of a young boy
And writhed in the pain of it all
Your bruises are obvious. I wish you would cover them. I know you are only showing me my mistakes, hoping I will right my wrongs. But, my darling, you have forgotten that I am the dark monster under your bed.
He arrives at his living hell,School.Tortured and taunted by bullies,Like buzzards skipping and flapping around.One bully, the Dark One’s true name.The rotten bastard and his posse,
He was throwing bottles at us againA Heineken bottle barely missed Mom's head and I had to duck and roll to dodgeA few bottles of GuinnessHe stammered and slurred his words before he went towards Jenny
It’s small and white.
Beautiful with its purple stripe on the left and complimentary hint of green on the opposite side.
Yelling and crying.
Screaming and dying.
This is the circle of my life.
Why try?
Every time you get happy,
Life becomes crappy.
This is the circle of my life.
How Could You?
How could you know?
We were only kids.
We were only best friends.
How could you know?
The signs of depression.
Along
time
we
go.
To
where?
I
do
not
know.
But
swift
is
our
motion,
commotion,
and conversation
about
timeless
Whoever said life was easy was wrong. The walk in the park for me has been like walking on glass for me.
Years of abuse and pain, from "I love you" to "I hate you".
From a made up face with makeup to a face with bruises.
Laugh if you wantI wouldn't care if you knew me
Hit me hardI deserve the hate and resentment
Say mean thingsEven though not an ounce is true
Break my heartIt is already broken beyond repair
“Get out you whore,” I hear piercing through my peace.
The lies I hear are no less painful than I feared
Night after night came where I could only fight or flight
I am grateful for all those years I had with you
For all those days I didn’t whine and cry
I was just five
I thought you were too cool
With them
Problems are laced into me
Like a greedy dog’s drugs in a poor girl’s drink
People have taken advantage of me
Violated me
One in three adolescents are victims of cyber bullying. Now I don’t mean to belittle, but i’ve never understand cyber bullying because your eyes are your choice and you can turn away.
you down bottles like you're going to find something special
don’t act like you love her
because if you did you’d be kissing her and not cigarette butts
you lied to everyone about being sick
“Don’t push me to make decisions that I may regret later.” I heard you say this while on the phone with your sisters right before your dad died. I laughed. I fucking laughed out loud. Now what do you think that says about you?
“I love you more than the sky.” You told me that every day as a kid. “You’re fat. You’re attention seeking.” You told me this every night as a kid while you scolded me and grabbed my arm, but I doubt you remember.
Go to your room and turn up your music. You sit alone and you turn up your music until you can’t hear shit. Your stereo will be on full volume, but you can still hear the sound of their teeth shattering on vodka bottles.
Bite your lips; your words are robbery.
You try to destroy anyone with a basilisk’s glare.
Do you grin inside? You’re killing me.
The pain from another the abuse
Your words hurt me not heal me
You say you miss me but then demands for submission
Trust is what I gave you once upon a time
But regert is all I feel for you now
We have superpowers,
like waking up daily,
sometimes getting dressed,
managing schoolwork
despite so much stress.
We are the best
at being alone,
and wearing long clothes,
Grandpa bought me a package of makeup;
"Keep quiet about this," he said.
I didn't see any wrongs so i did.
I handed it back when my chest grew heavy.
I caught my brother obsessed with a boy;
Like love at first sight
She takes your breath away and smiles
As you can’t help but stare
It feels so right
Her sweet, angelic voice lures you
Into her arms, but beware
I'm not ready to forgive you.I can't forget what you did to me.When you told me no one would believe me, that it was your word against mine. Whenever someone asked me "Are you okay?" or "How are you?" I always replied with "I'm fine",I wasn't fin
My child, look at me.
You are so beautiful and precious to me.
I love you more than the sun and the moon
and the twinkling stars in the heavens.
What happened to you- it's done,
I lied for your attention.
“It’s broken”
“Sorry, ran out of ink”
“I had to shut it down because of the storm”
All of these excuses I told
Not because I hated you
But because I loved you
One whip
Two whips
Three whips
Four whips
He lays on the floor with tears in his eyes
One hit
Two hits
three hits
Four hits
In a little town close to homeI found the grave of twelveNone were old enough to bear a weight of woeBut none were young enough to shame
Imagine this huge castle- and in this castle, you’re the king. Or a queen or whatever. But there’s nobody to serve you- and yet you’re happy to be alone and rule a world entirely your own.
What happened to that little baby that gigged at the little things
What happened to that baby girl who smiled at her family
What happened to that little smile
There are demons in the darkness of your eyes,
in the bruises underneath them
I look at you, but you cannot look at me
There are demons in the downward curl of your lips,
lounging on your tongue
The Giants have found her again.
No matter where she goes, they will find her
and throw her back into her cell.
She’s soaked in juice
Sticky. Gross. Warm.
Will suffering end?
he begins drinking at five;
i begin hiding at six.
at seven, we sit down for dinner.
until eight, we nibble and pick.
at nine, we collect in the foyer.
we sit and we all watch tv.
Who am I?
I am tired.
Don’t wake me.
Don't touch me.
I’m lost,
Inspired.
There is a time
"I don't drink"
There was a time when those words were true
But now. . .
Well, not so much.
Now I love the feeling
Of drowning in a sea of fog,
On neither side of that thin line
And she dances away with a smile on her face
So candid, full of joy and life
But only to the naked eye, will she appear to be this way
Why won’t I get it?
I have friends both male and female.
I go to parties.
I’m social with others.
I do all these things and yet
Whenever I hear my loved one does it as well
My brain tells me
A mad man SCREAMING FOR THE HELP IN THE ENDLESS DARK CREVICES OF MY SOUL AND DESPAIR THAT CLAWS AND RIPS THROUGH THE THROAT...
..and it mumbles like the stretching of the skin.
Gurgle, Gurgle, dead.
He’s an alcoholic.
A genius, but moronic,
Meanest when he’s on it. Sedentary,
Practically a-biotic
As his eyes drooped then widened
He would take another shot
In the back of darkened corners
No one
Not even the rain
Can quite feel my pain
As I call out your name
And its a shame
That you left me in vain
While I crawled on the floor leaving a small blood stain
My mind mulls over the past and asks
what counts? What crossed the line?
The car ride to the movies?
Give me an inch
I will take a mile
While your soul in my tether
We shall dance, the lover's dance
My soul shall sparkle and daze
For you gave me a inch
I have settled in you
Like soot in smokers' lungs.
We sleep in waves,
Shifting, pulling the blankets like teeth.
The alarm sounds.
My cigarette's half-ashed
On the back porch.
To All Victims.. Keep Walking
If you plan on lying to me and then break up with me when I catch you lying instead of owning it and communicate, keep walking.
My finger tips, cold
Touch bare chest
My heart beat, loud
Frozen in time
Arms grabbed me, forcfully
I had no choice
I looked away, tears
Blurred my vision
I’ve let you control me
For the better part of my life
Trample everything I have loved
While I lived a silent strife
You’ve abused me
And used me
All because I’m not yours
They say the hottest love ends cold
It's true
After all, if a relationship is only heat
the fire must go out eventually
And then the frostbite begins licking at your nerves, at your life
You put words in my head
but they do not mean a thing
I lay in my bed
my phone goes "bling bling"
another message from you
your words like a snakebite
but you dont have a clue
I am looking into a mirror.
I see myself, yet I see someone else.
I don’t know who this girl in the mirror is.
Her brown hair was messy and tangled.
I need a release to find some peace
Take me away with your grace
To find some peace in this space
Calm the raging war in my mind
Close those doors in the sky.
You're making my plans with such demand
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you think you can hurt me
That you can somehow reach through the dark and grab me
You can touch my dreams, but you will never have my future
Last week someone told me that I shouldn't speak
Because I was a monster not by design
But by the way I define myself
Because I was found in Christ
They said I wasn't a lover but a liar and a hypocrite
You whispered in my ear
Songs of myself
And I was raptured
By your words
You held me to your chest
And I felt like I was home
You wrapped your
Arms around me
Squeezing the life out of me
Here is to the women who hurt.
How their pain never told
though their stories ever sold,
intuitively resistant and bold.
I am a survivor
One of many
Same story different writing
So how am I unique?
I could go on and on
I am a survivor of domestic violence
I had Daddy Issues
My heart leaps up,
Not in fondness,
But in fear.
Over a year of
Abuse and
Rape.
Too scared to leave.
Too scared to stay.
Bravery came at last
And I was finally free!
Did you know an Elephant never forgets a face
Once the creature catches a glimpse it can never forget
and your face is one that I can never forget.
Breathe.
Broken. Helpless. Hurt. Cast down. These words burnt a whole into Kendra’s heart.
Breathe.
This ones for those who know how it feels to be belittle
Ashamed
abused
Pride tore from the soul
That moment when life and death is in the palm of there hands
Waking up
Weary and teary eyed
Wearing his cologne unwilling
Wanting to escape his grasp
Willing myself to move on
Wanting to escape the memories
Wearing my own name
Weary from my fight
When I was little my father used to let me use his belly for a pillow. He was my rock in this tossing stream we call life, but just like any sedimentary he started to erode. Parts of himself were chipped away with each wave of sorrow.
I was strong.
I was stronger than you ever wanted me to be.
I was strong in the face of your words, your actions, your “love”.
You called me weak.
okay, so maybe I'm not the most experienced gal,
and I'm probably going about this all wrong.
You see, when you say my name you make it sound pretty
not like a curse, or burden like he did.
The way you touched my skin made me tremble.
Your cold fingers swiftly carresing my cheek.
The way your hands grabbed me from behind
I never thought one look would keep me silent
There is a boy who wishes he was a daughter,
Dresses in skirts and dresses who bothers
can't tell the world, not even his own father.
They call him a faggot,
they call him a dork,
All hopes are shattered
The damage is done and wounds, fresh
Time to cut all ties
I am a foster youth, I am the voice of countless others
Though my lips speak, this is the voice of my sisters and brothers
The voice of those that are still silent in despair
See I don't see
See me I don't please
Tell me you see
Them there
Using me
See, no I did not come with!
I was not with them
I was blocks away!
I am your slave-master,
The fists that beat down on your beauty
And the feet that stomps your face
I am your thunderous nightmare,
The past to which you are shackled
The sorrow that enshrouds you,
Captivating conversation
Make sure not to miss the meaning
You are, perfect
Constantly Occluding my
Motivation for a lie
You are, unnerving
...
Am I, serving
The longest journey
Is finding joy.
And it's hard to find
In one certain boy.
To use a cliche,
He's been through hell,
And things aren't going
To turn out well.
Everything is a trigger,
(singing)
Tick tock , tick tock, tick tock, tick tock
The time keeps tickinh, the time keeps ticking yeaaaaaaah.
(starts poem)
you psychologically abuse me,
Misused, abused and left sitting confused
Disrespected & rejected
My arms are long,
My hair is wooly, no
I am not worried because,
Who will ever see?
You know my back is strong and,
Just as sturdy as it can be.. after
No
Doesn't mean
Try to change my mind
Or try again.
It doesn't mean
Repharase the question,
Or
Tell me come on.
It doesn't mean pressure me
By saying it's been a month
getting tucked into bed
kisses goodnight
telling stories
turning on nightlights
being told "i love you"
before they close the door
care with the flu
a broken house
runaway dad
Power On.
Channel One: A little girl plays outside, kickball, with her neighbors.
They laugh and run.
The sky starts to get dark,
Curfew.
She wants to finish the round; it’s her turn to kick.
Writing a poem about how everything is awesome
but my possum it ain't the truth.
Sometimes I think I should get my dreams and tossum
It first arrived in my life the day I was born
It wasn't there for me, God's breath still fresh on my skin
It was there for my parents, eyes clear, paw raised in reassurance as if to say “know this child will be able.”
SHADES OF RAIN
“He loves you,” my mother tells me
He’s yelling again
He’s drunk again
No, drunk still
“He loves you,” the teachers tell me
This one goes out to all my kids, my teens, my peers
All of you who've found yourselves bruised, abused, misused, unable to choose
The life you deserve to live; all the while you give, forgive, just try to live
Your hands are raised. They're raised in praise.
To Jesus Christ. He took your vice.
He paid the price. You rolled the dice.
He gave his blood. You crashed in mud.
His arms extended. Mistakes amended.
“From dust you came and to dust you now return.”
A mound of earth sifts through the preacher’s hand
Small rocks break free, hitting the coffin’s lid
With pops like tiny bullets
Dive in.
Feel the water embrace your bones.
Watch the many bubbles blossoming from your peach nostrils float to the surface.
Break the surface and breathe as deeply as you possibly can.
Shadder my innocence,
Erase my love song
The secret is written black and blue.
How did so right
turn out to be so wrong?
This is the story of me and you.
Only these walls
I never had a wall. There was nothing therefor you to climb over or knock downbut the more time I spent lingering in your shadowthe more bricks I foundand the faster I learnedto build.
Dropping cocktail names because they sound so sweet
Auntie's house last night too easy, score some at the meet
They are not here to hurt us
They're supossed to be here for love
Now it doesn't feel like enough
Punished. Beaten. Abused.
They used us up
Now who am I?
Look at me and see what you have done!
In my dreams, I see you.
That person, who despite my flaws,
grabs my hand and jumps;
jumps into the blue wild world
smiling and dancing in the streets,
pointing at the stars,
Violence would have saved me.
A thought I struggle to comprehend.
It were the words that degraded me, broke me down,
they wrapped around my neck.
"Piece of shit"
"worthless"
"a mistake"
I remember the time I first saw my mother cry.
Her soft blue eyes were puddled with red.
I have always lived with strangers in my home.
The agony of not having a true family is greatly disturbing.
You see, demons terrorize my household.
All animals feel pain
Primates make different faces for different emotions
Dogs remember who you are when you walk through the door
Dolphins are known to communicate with each other
You say that you care is it really true, I'm hurt I'm bleeding all because of you, it was perfect before what's going on now. Have you found another heart? Are you playing around? Wiping tears from my eyes. Something you use to do.
I know it might seem like the world is crashing down
Trust me I know what it's to feel like that
It feels like you're standing in the rain without an umbrella
Stuck in an eternal darkness
Pain is an inevitable part of life.
Pain is your body, mind or spirit way of telling you it hurts.
I remember his eyesThat they reflected mine,The golden encapsulated,Red-flecked beautiesThat so often got us confusedFor brotherAnd sister.
You have had too much hope
Inside your soul
And when you wake up
With blood streaming down
Your legs
And tears
Falling down your face
The first person you want to curl into
Say no, say no, say yes, say yes.
No- to abuse. It's not necessary, not right.
Twenty-eight percent are in an intimate relationship!
Ninety-eight percent of offenders- aren't punished!
Stability is a joke. When I feel fine, it is time to plan on going somewhere else. All because of YOU. You came in acting as a replacement father and came out as a joke. A lying joke with no point and only offense. You think you can control me?
You pull me closer into you
And lean in for a kiss
I don't know what else to do
But to find a place of bliss
Heart beat pounding
Exaggerated sighs
Lips tracing scars
Pupils peering into mine
Mind racing
Endless hours
Piercing whispers
Lingering kisses
Even in my sleep
Shut your mouth and listen to what it is I have to say
I will take you all back on that specific day
I was laying in my room listening to the two of you argue
Music is the drive that moves me from the thorns of a rose up to the ovary.
Where a sweet smell dwells.
I lay in the middle and listen
Healing from the prick of the past thorns
I bleed to the beat and memories flow
she barely drank the poison, barely tasted it at all.
she walked home a little dizzy, suprised she didnt fall.
she snuck through her window, afraid to just walk in the door.
Flickering lights
Sleepless nights
I wonder
When will my home be in sight?
I travel alone
Like a dog to a bone
I search
But never once glance for a phone
What am I looking for?
Take, take, take,
All you do is take
Give, give, give,
You struggle to give
Feed your children
Feed your people
Allow your kind to thrive
To reach the sky
Allow them to shine bright
Crying, screaming, with a runny nose until your voice is hoarse,
suffocating slowly from all the noise even though there isn't any force,
My bones were feeble
My breath had weathered
My voice can be heard as a bare, cracked whisper
And I listen at how fragile we are...
For which my lungs, they were thirsty for air
Mama once told me
“You’ll never find love
If you can’t love yourself.”
Maybe try to look like you care.”
She left me in the bathroom
Crying while I brushed my hair out.
Mama said to me,
I think I started my new life
As an anorexic angel.
I woke up to my chapped pink lips
Breathing snow that looked like ash
She sings a song so soft and sweet
But it's filled with such sadness
It makes you want to cry
This song lets you feel her pain
And you want to scream
How can this be fair you wonder
You know something is not quite right
when you find yourself battling to stay awake
cause of that man you hear moving behind the wall
the one you called "Papa"
the one you thought cared for your feelings -- no
I hear it stumble in the door
Crash!
a drink splills into the hardwood as
glass shatters
my body flinches in shock
shoulders quickly rise
pungent smell
musty with a little spice
Adults always tell us
that they know best
They have more experience,
and time, they'll attest
They feed those words
Into our brains
Inject that message into
our infant veins
BoozerUserLoserRed puffy eyes pleading with youAbuserYou are the one I am forced to loveBlamingShamingDrainingSlurring words from drunkin lipsClaiming
I am 18 years old and I fully understand that the world is so cold.
I am 18 years old with a story that is not yet told.
I am 18 years old and I've seen a lot of things.
There are some things
I cannot say with words
So rather than write a poem
I'll pick up another face
Except this time,
When I sew it on
I'll leave a corner unstitched.
At night I lay on my feathered bed and wait.
I wait for when I will feel again.
I wait for an unspoken to God in the sky
I wait for the police who never come.
I wait for the lady upstairs.
I don't appreciate
when you approach me
just to tell me that I'm so blessed
with such a sexy body.
And you have no right
to be offended when
I don't kiss the ground you walk on
I demand change.
In these twisted, damaging days.
Where women are afraid to leave for work
for fear of merciless rape
Where people of color
cannot receive a fair wage
The wind will blow away my sin
Copper devils wait in the tall grass
I walk on doves feet across the clouds
Fallow my feelings little fish
Sing about rain
I sometimes wish I was a monster
I swallow the poison my body craves,
While I know the things at stake.
I claw at pieces of my skin for my mother’s sake.
I hurt my insides, to save the out;
There’s always a price to pay.
My mother is weak
And I cannot stand it
She is feeble, stupid, and plain
Who are you?
And where is the woman that I once knew?
You’re a weakling, darling
A scaredy little ghost
What about us kids. The ones that nobody thinks about looking at. The ones who are beat and molested. The ones who suffer quitely while having a positive front. The young kids that tried to get help but were denied because of their parents jobs.
I cry a lot, don't you?
I trust people too easily
I'm trusting you.
I forget things a lot, don't you?
I lie to people too easily
I'm not lying to you.
I am made of sticks and stones.
I rebuilt myself from those
I found
Strewn about the kitchen floor,
Remnants of your drunken tirades.
My bones felt hollow
When I learned that yours
Her eyes swollen from the tears,
whites of them wide with fears.
She's been so strong, she's carried on,
but how long can she go along?
Pushing through everything she does,
I feel numb inside…empty & lost.
I find myself trying to rekindle my soul, while keeping my eyes open for the lost pieces of myself; they were sold, but at what cost?
And this is how it starts. We're halfway into this cheap bottle of wine, both of us have seen "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" at least three dozen times, and don't think I haven't noticed your hand on my thigh.
I didn't want to, but I picked the glass up and took a sip.It was horrible and I told my father there was no way I could get this terrible tasting st
One day when I was 13 and in the 8th grade, I had gotten the stomache flu and had to stay home from school.
My father took his trusty knife, wrapped her hands around it and they slit that rabbits throat without a sound.
I started feeling really dizzy and nauseous and was crying so badly, I could barely see nor breath through the tears.
I don't remember what set this next incident off with my father, I just remember it was one of the things that showed me just how much of a psyco nut
Coming back from the dead was always a terrifying experience for me. I hated it almost as much as the dying.
I remember wondering if my father could hear my heart pounding, then realized it didn't matter.
Have you ever been in an accident or so near death that at that very moment, you thought your life was over?
I raise the camera,
Tilt it to the right,
Use a filter and capture the perfect light,
Waking up from a dream feeling all bubbly
While everyone else looks at the world humbly
I get out of bed everyday with the thought
That today and no later is the day that I ought
We all have dreams, though most seem to never prosper
We all are sinners, nothing can save this gospel
The pigs we gobble, the devil we follow, the poisons we swallow, all lead to evil bethrothals
Screaming bloody murder, but no one can hear the cries
Cannot hold on forever, can hardly put up a fight
Locked inside a cold room, lying on the hard floor
Beaten in the gloom, here be he prisoners of war
They said it could never happen, so when
you told me to give you my hands I gave them to you.
I even smiled.
Now I am tied up and I'll probably die.
They say better to have loved and lost,
He keeps saying he will change
But it seems to worsen everyday
There’s nothing else to do but pray.
He comes home drunk
Growing up your my main inspiration,
I gave you hardship and lots of frustrations,
But you’ve always been there when I needed some love,
Arms spread open hugging me like a glove,
I smile
post
Then continue cutting
What would mom say?
post
And finish my drink
We pose
post
You beat in my temples
Find inspiration
P O S T
It's about the locked door
it's about the sound of a slipped belt
trauma like brain damage
it's about shrunken corners that don't shelter
it's about hearing pants drop to the floor
wishing ears to deafen
It's 2:00 am, he lays awake in bed contemplating life.Should he stay or should he go?Will they even notice he's gone?He cries for help but they dismiss him time and time again.
Who am I?
I'm the girl in a cheering crowd frowning
I'm the girl who loves but never was
I'm the girl who was hit constantly by someone so close
Who am I?
I'm the girl you left behind
i’m sad
sunshine body
sunlight veins
the sun
it’s a new day
but not a fresh start
and i shouldn’t be sad
My lost little boy cold and alone I couldn't know you I couldn't hold you
Nothing could ever repair the damage
Nothing could ever mend a heart so broken
My lost little boy now grown up and full of hate
Twisted lies and teary eyes
These news titles on the rise
Wrong perspectives, strong objectives
Activists are the real detectives
Police brutality? Our reality?
Families surviving on calamity
I was the girl that grew up in hard brick matter.
At 3 years old my pearls were stolen then shattered.
Beaten,broken and tossed to floor.
And all I could can do is plead "PLEASE NO MORE!!!"
Thumbing through the past,
I remember when Kenny Kwan
punched me in the face and broke
my glasses.
I spit up blood like a spittoon
and floods of tears drowned my words.
Love can make us do stupid crazy things,
Things that never in a million years you thought would do.
Things you regret doing.
However, at the time it does not occur to us how our actions ruins us on the inside
When I was five I was considered for having OCD.
To my family at the time they laughed at how I was "considered".
It's a mental illness, you either have it or you don't.
Why
Does Daddy keep hitting me?
Why
Does Daddy keep yelling?
Why
Does Mommy keep hurting me?
Why
Does Mommy keep screaming?
Why
Am I so hated?
Why
Am I so worthless?
Don't be a brat! BAM BAM Stop being stupid! BAM BAM You need to learn! BAM BAM Don't fucking talk to me!
The door finally closes, another day spent,
Another act finished, but I’m not content.
I look in the mirror, stare into my eyes –
Were they fooled today by my act, my disguise?
The feel of the keyboard Is like the piano keys
How I make music with words
That no one wants to hear
They continue to disappear
Like Forbidden Fruit
Can anyone dare to ever take a bite
I dreamt that I was witnessing a war
Not in full action
But of its ancient history
Looking at the artifacts of someone else's life
Wondering who'd they'd been
Where they'd walked
To signify the pulse between my veins
Escaping outside
Of my paper-thin skin
To identify who you are
As you are choking me
In my sleep
My body is a cocoon of pungent regret
holding its breath for the metamorphisis to a butterfly of knowledge
my body is a hub of nocturnal imagination
paints my dreams in garish tones and people hues
My flaws are my weapon.
The scars on my body distract from the scares on my mind.
I have seen things.
"Write about a trouble in your life," they say-
but in no way
can I relay
the way that I got laid
Hearing the screaming and shouting in my house,
I don't know what to do but grip my blouse.
I used to think "This is where it all ends",
But I looked past that and started to ascend.
All of our years we work and try to see,
The girl or boy we are supposed to be.
We go through school being judged and bullied,
Just to turn around and judge and bully.
We are called to act with love and kindness,
Facebook, Twitter, the 'Gram
It's all make believe, like a fairytale
People will go to the 'Gram,
Dedicated to E.J.S.
Blood boils beneath the skin.
A hatred for you deep within.
Your "BIGGEST MISTAKE", at least I am something.
So sickly.
Someone with such a heart
Ready to do...anything.
And Everything. To get ahead.
Destroy their friend for the drug called.
Ambition.
Fear of losing to others
In turn. Losing
You twisted my mind,
With your words and your lies.
You stole away my childhood,
In every way that you could.
The wind picks up and the horizon turns burgundy red
The people of this city scurry to their expensive cars
Racing to get home to see the kids, to finish the game, for dinner.
But what they don’t see
We were hurt onceand then they told usthat the pain thatsettled over our shouldersweighted like the worldwas our cross,was our albatrossto wear, to bear.
The layers of tears that I've cried have stung my eyes to that point of where seeing just becomes painful. I don't want to give up. But I'm being forced to give up. Or am I? No, this whole situation is fucking bullshit.
Love is not a choice.
It is like falling asleep
Or floating gently
And landing in someone’s heart.
But love is also an action.
It is like learning to walk:
You start by crawling
I have a special affinity for the x-ray machine,Faultlessly highlighting my bones, heart, and spleen.
I have to hurry home and prepare dinner tonight
I have to finish my cleaning or else it’s another fight
I’ve still much to do: the laundry, the dishes, the dusting, washing the stains off the floor
I should've known better than to let you in
I'd be defeated in every single game that you'd play
All across the nation people are searching for retaliation.
You saw me as your porcelain doll
your darling girl
Your perfection
but There was an immaculate exception
you thought i was your faithful pet
the dog who'd
"she'd be back"
I hide behind a mask of hurt, insecurity and rejection.
Maybe its because I was never a boy's first selection, not having an hour glass figure really killed
I am more than a face you may remember.
My life has been full of secrets
My thoughts much protected
My personality a big puzzle
The world only sees
What I want them to see
The true me is a mystery
I crumble behind the scenes
I smiled once today
And it was a miracle, see,
For the first time in months
Even if I tried to leave
woke up and saw,
you’re killing me
don’t think I’d have the strength
to be alone.
Because when you hold me,
kick and choke me,
whisper softly
Intoxication by substance,Abuse is a common word inA user's dictionary: vocabulary,Mundane feelings of pain,Take it all away.
CUT THE RESTRAINTS THAT HAVE HELD YOU BACK
SHUT THE DOOR TO ALL THE NEGATIVE SMACK
BUILD THE BLOCKS OF CONFIDENCE INSIDE YOU
SHILED THE PAST AND PUT OLD THOUGHTS BEHIND YOU
A woman knows how to wait without despairing
Gives all her love excpecting nothing in return
A woman is as tough as bark and as fragile as a crystal
She's able to suffer without spilling any tears
She was whole.
Everyday was words
From the mouths of those around her
Those who she loved
Words
She wasn't good enough
She couldn't do anything right
She never met expectations
Neglect–ed
Ringed out with blood and stretch marks.
Wrinkles written in between the crevices of my eyes.
They sting and burn. Fighting, fighting, and falling.
I kept falling. I failed.
the blood in my veins are the tears that cry out from the lacerations on your heart.
i see the ones on your wrist and i say to myself, "has she never felt love?"
Sideways glancesSmirksSnickers behind binders
But they don’t knowThey don’t know what she’s been throughThey wouldn’t do this if they knew
Tired Eyes, and broken vessels..
Crimson streaks, and open wounds...
No escape for me, only the passion I once had.
No will left to fight, no life left to live
Because
I'm a broken glass behind the scenesI am an entire home in shamblesI'm only so sturdyThese shelves can only hold a heartAbsolutely nothing else
A day filled with guilt and pleasure.
How could someone defy that which sustains them?
Yet how hard have I worked to indulge?
Meager dreariness coats the beginning of everyday.
Flaws and all She was born like this not very tall with curves he likes to kiss the chubby cheeks on her face a smile that lights up the place in her heart is very pure and soft voice that's hard to hear if you're not listening to the words she s
Insanity is the first time you saw him
it's the smell of burnt chicken, he tryied to make on the first date
it's the sound of the phone ringing
and the feeling you get when you see his number on your screen
Darkness
Is all I can see
Death
Is all I dream
Happiness
Has long since faded away
Struggle
Each and every single day
Mind
Is slowly turning to dust
Pain
This girl is always smiling, filling our hearts with love. But no one knows the truth.. what it's like when shes alone. Broken dreams, slashing screams. not what we call home.
Who do you pray for at night before you go to sleep?
What do you feel when you see the homeless on the street?
How can you walk with your head held so high
when an innocent mother never got to tell her child goodbye.
It never made sense til now
and the sense I've made makes no sense at all.
If I should say the truth I hope it be opaque
cause I can't stand myself or the perils left unscathed.
She sat there in disbelief,
The things they had written were so malicious.
She read the words on the screen:
Whore, slut, bitch.
The last time that I saw you,you were being pulled through the front door by police officers.
Scared in a world with a variety of people, the rejects, the nerds and quiet people .
With the people who belong on stages and are natural leaders , those who belong at the steaple.
Our eyes are once again forced open by the sound of a beeping alarm. Morning has stolen our precious sleep.
A knife to my chest
Or a gun to my head
as i breathe my last breath
though im already dead
Who cares if i die
Or is this just satans lies
its myself i despise
All these tears i done cried
The moment I met you,
My soul knew to stay away from you,
For it knew you'd be the death of me.
Of course, my heart felt what it did
And I suffered the tragic consequence.
Be strongNothing ever last for longIt wouldn't last forever you knewBut its okay he still cares about youJust hold on to your heart for nowWipe the sweat from your brow
Mouths I have kisseda thousand timesLetting fanged words slither out"Why is it always about rape with you?"little venomous soundshissing at my heels."It’s not love if you don’t fuck."
Hush, it’s okay
There’s no need to take a peek.
What are you doing, trying to look in so deep?
Do you wish to be clawed at, do you wish to be scorned?
Sir no sir.
Please leave me alone sir.
Let me sleep sir..
This isn't rite please don't touch me....
I'm only 11; you're 50..
Watery Sight at times of lonesome Nights,
To Ponder,
To Whimper of tomorrow’s whispers and what will be in store
Or if I’ll mourn.
Boiled blood, tears are shed and burn to nothing
You told me
You told me the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice.
But now I realize that not everybody has the same taste.
So your eyes partake of my identity and you spit me out of your mouth and exclaim
I dreamed a dream of a little girl in a yellow dress
She was dancing with the white roses
Her feet running gaily Her arms twirling as if she was a ballerina
She turned to smile at me….
Fingers dance across my throat
No marks are left this time
But even still I feel you as though trying to merge our skin
I can't speak can't see can't breathe
Empty shelves, empty roomEmpty heart hear it boomHear her lungs, they still breatheNot a want or a needLife still moves, it didn't quitThough she stops, doesn't bother with it
Mama, I know you're hurting but I'm hurting too,
I know you're angry, Mama,
But I'm angry too,
So stop raising your voice and listen,
One, two, thee, four, five,
Little girl's tears run down a red cheek
All she ever heard is "You are such a freak!"
Sitting quietly with metal death in her hand
With a lot of fear and nothing more to stand
I'm tired of looking at the human race in the eyes
To see death, poverty, abuse all covered up by lies
We told ourselves it wouldn't happen again
But it never stopped my fellow men
Teardrops can stain a surfaceTeardrops can destroy a work of artTeardrops can destroy makeupTeardrops are their own silent stormIf only people cared as much for teardropsAs they did for storms
**NOTE: THIS IS FROM MY POETRY BLOG WWW.THEFACEBOOKORJJ.BLOGSPOT.COM PLEASE VISIT IT TO SEE SIMILAR POEMS!!
I wish we didn't have voices.
Everything would be so much more intimate.
Because people lie and hurts others with words.
What if we didn't have them?
What if we just had our actions.
We hide behind a mask of lies
To keep the truth from waving "hello" and "goodbye"
But have you ever cried through blood shot eyes?
Hit after hit, on that emotional high
Have your lungs ever hurt so bad,
We hide behind a mask of lies
To keep the truth from waving "hello" and "goodbye"
But have you ever cried through blood shot eyes?
Hit after hit, on that emotional high
Have your lungs ever hurt so bad,
Our love is like the wind.
It's like it never ends.
It takes me up to places I've never been.
Our love is like the wind.
It breaks, hurts, and destroys.
It's dangerous and nothing can stop it.
Cracks shine through the sides only to be left
A dark cloud comes through, a dissapointment
They expected something different not theft
Not suddenly drained of their excitement
Sick heart, dripping with gasoline,
fueled by the cigarettes thrown like darts
the whip’s bullseye that tore her apart,
innocent and caged, helpless to cleanse itself,
gives in to the rage,
Tweedle-Dee, tweedle-dum.
She lays there likes a drum, as he's pounding into her.
Treating her like no one.
This goes on every night, and days when Aunty is away.
He rapes her and beats her, forcing her to stay.
The sticky sweet smell of your cologne in my hair
I couldn't push you off, I didn't even dare
No, you didn't rape ne
But what you did was just as bad
Your hands down my pants, around my neck
would you miss me if i died? Would you stay up late at night
if you knew today was my goodbye
would you try when you woke
because your the one who wished it on me
would you try to call the next day
It was winter where you were
and summer where I stayed
When you'd weap to me
Tell me of the previous day
My heart broke in half
With the secrets you spilled
My knees grew weak
I turned ill
Scars you gave to me last year are still burning
Are still visible and stained
Scars you gave to me last year are still spilling blood
Are still screaming for dear life
Before you laugh in my face and tell me that it was my fault,
Know that I, am well aware
I fell for you and i thought I knew what I was doing
I thought I could play the game as well as the game master himself
Yeah, I see you
girl at the back of the class
hoping if she keeps quiet
no one will ask her to speak
hoping that if she wills her lips sewn shut
no one will see her
Yeah, I see you
You wouldn't think that it would be this hard to listen to your own thoughts and your own heart.
The silence doesn't help, it only makes it worse.
The silence makes my thoughts lonely, makes my mind race.
Did you ever think about how lying is just another way of telling someone they’re not worth the truth?
i
bright eyed typhoon of giggle fits over a ridiculous picture where my nose looks too big for the screen
you
little man of golden sand
you share my face my eyes my blood the tremble of my hand
See thats the thing between you and her. You're getting better and she's getting worse. She ductapes her sadness with a smile and cries in silence. No one notices her bruises and cuts because theyre within.
I made you believe me…
You didn’t have a reason to doubt…
Why would the first words I ever spoke to you
Be a lie?
It was psychotic.
You say you love him.
But do you?
What about the bruises?
Do you love those?
You love the way he treats you.
But do you love the way he uses you?
But you love him right?
She does not know when to behave,
never asked me if I am ok,
criticizing and jabbing at my brain,
the pounding heartbreaking pain.
She knows there is someone to blame,
Trapped.
She is trapped with no way out.
The fraction of hope that she contains is the only thing that is keeping her sane, if that is what she is.
At this point, there is no doubt in her mind that he will return.
Drowning.
She is drowning in the loneliness that is clouding her thoughts.
When she thought.
If she thought;
she thinks she feel him, just in the back of her mindset.
HOW would you feel if you were talked about to your face?
You would feel as if they hate you and you're a mistake.
WHATwould you do if you didn't fit it?
Another bathroom to eat your lunch is where you'd sit in.
The day I met him, he had my heart.Then everytime I saw him it was like it was going to beat out of my chest.Shortly after knowing him I was ready to give him the restAnd no. I don't mean sex.
Hear me out, he said
And as the tears drip down my face
My energy begin depleting
This happens to over one in 45 people
Don’t let people know who you are, who you really are, since
glass hearts shatter easily by those who have been equipped with stone swords from birth.
Don’t let people know what upsets you, since
She is a rose
And I, her thorn.
What a wondrous thing
To look so beautiful
While someone else
Lies at fault
For your pain.
I get kicked down the halls and on the inside I scream
No More
I here you two scream and fight breaking things into the night
my brain is drained and all its going to say is
i've listened to it more times than i can count,
but who's to say that i'm wrong.
what you can see is the fading memory of me in a song.
why can't i be true, why do you have to love
please i'm begging you run away
We live in shadows all by ourselves
And sell our bodies on street corners
Why?
We smile to each other's faces and act like everything is okay
When it's obviously not
Why?
We feel okay to tease others
When steps are heard
Looks are exchanged
And head bowed
Tears won't help now
So they'll take the hits in silence
And spare a smile only for the other
When young, learn well
Words are thrown out to hate,Before it can be stopped, it's al
"he's still here."
here.
Here and gone. The words meld into one.
I screamed. I cried. I lost my mind.
Is it possibly to feel so much at the same time?
I thought about what it would be like
Without you.
I thought about how that would change me
For flowers bloom and trees root
With the beckoning of spring,
And the chills of winter
Lonely is not a word that I like to hear,
it echos in the vast silences that are filled by lies,
Lonely is a storm shadow cast over an empty jungle gym,
One too many times, I swallowed away the pain
While all the time, you were buying my love
and I am still overdosing, choking on you endlessly
I watched you fall, limbs and sins
Sitting there watching all the pain you soaked in
Dancing on your heart, laughing at your words,
The clouds have veins,
at the end of the day, when the sun kisses the edges,
and the purple spreads along the blue, dancing on the white
They whistle and howl
Am I just a piece of meat?
Faster, wolves devour
Note to Reader:
I am a woman.
I expect to able to walk down the street and not fear for my safety.
I am a woman.
What is love?
Is it that splintering feeling of pain when you reach over from the driver's seat to touch her shoulder and "Apologize" for yelling?
Is it that fear to go to sleep because I know what the alcohol does?
Here I sitand wonder why.Why am I here?Is it just to die?Or is there a reasonFor this crazy world?A reason to be hereto spin and to twirl?
he's a man
but really
he's sarcasm
lanky, underfed, patched whole with drugs.
he scares away crows but he doesn't
scare me. I'll pay for this later.
but sunsets sitting in a haze of
The cheating hurt, but besides that so did the lies and the punches.
Im glad its over, I took a stand and I left.
Im glad you know that you hurt me.
My tears weren't just the sadness you gave me.
Sometimes, enough is enough
you tap out before the going actually gets tough
nevertheless, no one else is in your position except you
battling and fightng to get through
Speak, shout, they must know
It happened behind a closed door.
Arrogance, mannish poison coursing through his veins,
Twenty minutes ago she came in but left.
This poem is directed towards my eldest brother... who has been on a heavy drug addiction for the past year. He has a 5 year old son who he barely sees and has got himself in a lot of trouble with the law.
Hour Glass of Tracks
10am, down the first glass
Drink off a half-remembered past
Dream-dappled sleep can't shake
This is as quiet as it gets
So please don’t break this silence
Just hush down and fall asleep
I promise not to make a sound so you don’t wake
This moment is the calming before the storm
Once there was a little girl
With blonde curls and wide eyes that shined like a pearl
She sat alone waiting for
Her carriage and prince to come knock at her door
As she turned the pages of her books
Roses are redish,
Violets are blueish,
If it wasnt for Christmas,
We would all be Jewish
In this desolate forest of once proud, beautiful trees,
long ago, stood an effervescent tree.
She stood towering and strong
with nimble, yet steady roots
A man walked into a room (yes, it starts like a bad joke) and showed me a thousand pictures.
I speak on fear, depression, and realization.
Success to me only comes when all three of these things plays together as one.
The battle is all within yourself and will always be.
See I've given up on love but somehow I still had faith in you, I believed In every word you said and foolishly thought they were true,
See I've given up on love but somehow I still had faith in you, I believed In every word you said and foolishly thought they were true,
You are nothing
I wish it were true
You aint going nowhere till I'm through
Please help please help me God
The door is shut now, It’s just me and you
Why can’t I
I shun this part right here
Waking in the middle of night battered heart
All we do is live in this perpetual fear
Again and again I try to avoid this part right here
You wrote the thesaurus in which I am a synonym for worthless, and an antonym for perfect.You wrote the dictionary with my name defining the word ugly, and used me in a sentence to exemplify the adjective disgusting.
ByeBy her sideYes that's rightWhere you said you were going beWhere you’re supposed to be...Where are you now...You’re her parentsThe ones that are supposed to love her
When the house shakes, the walls crumble. Then the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I'm surrounded by water. I can't see. I can't breathe. I can't think. Further, and further I sink.
Lost in another compilation of complications.
A group of her friends worsened the situation.
I can't take this nonsense anymore I'm walking out the door.
I'm not leaving you but I'm leaving this relationship.
Here I lay on my bed
A pillow is under my head
My room is dark and silent
A paper moves, so pops open my eyelids
Its early morning
Late night
Sleep is nowhere in sight
Government officials have fallen into the chains of guilty corruption,
Our endowed right is no longer the Pursuit of Happiness.
This backfires on our economic production,
We the citizens have no wall of security.
SLAP!
I didn't mean to upset you I'm sorry
I don't know why I always have to ask so many questions.
SHOVE!
Down the stairs I'm falling
Violence, much happens to people who keep silence
Oppression led the oppress to depression
One gun can kill many sons
Teenage girls are confused, all bruised
I want someone to listen to me. Listen to my story and tell me when I’m done “That’s some deep shit you waded through.” And then say nothing.
A piece of meat cornered by beasts, lured into the trap, and now you're their feast.
They don't kill you, but eat you alive. They like it better when you fight.
What the hell is wrong with you?Don’t you know I’m beaten and blue?Leave me alone.I’ve done nothing to you.
You
You are unfair.
You
You put my life on pause.
You filled my life with terror that demands to be felt.
You smelled of stale beer and musty basements,And soon that smell became the only one I knew.You drank until you couldn't remember your own name,And screamed mine until your voice resonated off the walls.
Hugs are weird
Hugs are strange
I do not want a hug
No, no not now or later.
The thought of someone engulfing part of their body around mines just creeps me out.
Silence
Oh Silence,
My hushed homeland hide-out
a gem
rarely unearthed
main supporter when all is wrong
When all words fail
Silence
Growing up- Broken- BeatenActing like nothings wrongCan't you see I'm crying- hurting?Acting out just to see your longface staring back at me.See that look in your eyesHow much you wish that
Sickness, poverty, nations of the illUncured, losing the battle not at will
Nations crumbling beneath our feetNations tearing at the seams
Figures lie, and liars figure
All wanna' write out a new piece of scripture
They'll say count your blessings before you're gone.
You don't know if you'll last long.
Is it not enough for you that you've ripped my heart out already.
You fucking broke it and now you have to step on every single one of the pieces too?
Was it never enough for you to just know that I loved you?
Brain crackling like electricity touched it.
Sharp taps at the back of the skull as if it hit cement.
Chest tightening, heart missing, one large gaping hole, no lungs for a single breath.
Bloody fingers.
Conflicted, tormented, and loved
In the strangest sense of all
Scared, cared for, and protected
I'm the man in the sky
I watch you with my hazy eyes
Take my hand I'll set you free
Step into my reality
Here there ain't a ceilin' with walls
You hide yourself from everyone else
Because there's a monster inside.
He can't be controlled by anyone, not even you
But you talk a good talk and lie about the truth.
The girl lies on a cot --
The girl with hauntingly beautiful green eyes.
With nothing but a battered baby blanket to cover her emaciated body.
Her feet peek out from beneath the sheet, bloody and broken,
There’s Suffering and crying, and a lot of people are still dying
World leaders getting richer while their peoples bodies are piling
Up to a mountainous top, corpses spewing like the steam from a boiling pot, of Genocide
Take a bite of the poison
It’s the fate that you’ve chosen
Eat it slow, swallow fast
Now, I don't want this poem to be thrown in a big pile of others with a similar meaning.
I want whoever hands this lands in to understand what i'm saying and feel what they're reading.
I try to stay away from you
But you keep on coming back
I see the desperation
but I do not give a flack
You're a crazy creepy stalking pig
who I want far, far away
but you just seem to return to me
Maybe I'm a little outspoken,
but I held the words on before,
and I felt as if I were choking.
To you, I am a nobody,
but nobodies have feelings too.
and your words, well,
they stick to me like glue.
"Why me?"
She sits in the corner of her room
Crying and
Slowly dying
"Is it even worth it?"
Should she end it?
It started out ok,
It started out good.
It started out the way it was supposed to,
It started out the way it should.
But I dont really know what happened,
Something had went wrong.
If a child throws a fit in the store,
If a man drinks, drives, and wrecks,
If the rainforests are being depleted,
Here I stand, in my apartment, where you broke me, you took the old me, and molded me into something new.
someone I hardly recognize,
who is that girl in the mirror?
He stared
into her beautiful eyes,
even as the tears
of slowly lost love fell.
But he did not care.
He knew what he wanted.
And he took it,
no remorse.
Blinded by