Starving my body, starving my soul
I cannot tell what is my goal
Eat that today, eat nothing tomorrow
My mother's scale I might have to borrow
Check my weight, look towards the ground
Oh my God, I gained a pound
The treadmill is there, waiting for me
Just one more hour, just to be free
Jumping, running, climbing, turning
Lifting, pulling, pushing, yearning
Drink that water, It's nice and cold
Burns a calorie, or so I'm told
Passed out, I'm tired, pulled down by my weight
I can keep going! It's not too late!
I fall down on that hard, cold floor
God, can't I reach my own frickin door?
Run to my room, all in a flurry
Grab the caffeine pills, hurry hurry hurry!
I can't do it. I fall on the bed
No! I'm lazy! It's all in my head!
Drop to the floor- 1000 sit-ups
Hear my mom coming, calling for sups
Climb into bed! Pretend to be asleep!
Whew, she believed. Better not make a peep
Wake up at 12- everyone's in bed
How could I have slept? I want to be dead
Get on the scale- did I burn it all and more?
Nope, I didn't. And my muscles are still sore
I'm angry at everyone, especially me, and my life
I reach in a drawer and pull out The Knife
A series of marks, beautiful and red
Drips down my arms, proves I'm not dead
Where it belongs, FAT, on my arm
Why not? It's not like it does me any harm
Falling asleep, clutching it close
Wake up in the morning, depressed and morose
Put on the long sleeves, pull out the scale
Another day begins, with a high chance to fail


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741