I’m a raging inferno,

a ball of fire,

emotions swirling,

hatred, anger, bitterness, resentment,

my mental state? 

Extremely dire!


Counselors call it “dysregulated”,

I call it emotional emancipation.


A mother’s abandonment,

a father’s alcoholism,

a mentor’s betrayal,

a marriage dissolution.


Sick to the stomach,

flashbacks and nightmares,

headaches or just constantly feeling scared.


I eat,

I drink,

I vomit,

heaviness weighing on my chest.


I also run, spin, and do all things physical,

yet exercise,

 can’t exorcise the demons inside.


The wounds hurt,

like a knife cutting through tendon,

blood dripping,

my thoughts?

Quite menacing.


I think of death,


thoughts of being gone,

what it would be like,

to leave Earth,

and abandon all my human bonds.



I cling to life,

like a man drowning at sea,

clutching to anything,

to give me a reason to still be.



In this place,

God’s creation,

It’s beautiful but tainted,

by our human iniquity,

our frailties,

our abuses.



I will live,



despite being beaten, molested, maligned.


My story will come out,

my story won’t die in shame,

it matters to God,

it matters to me,

it matters to know I am seen.








This poem is about: 
Our world


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