You looked at me,
As though I had done something wrong.
Why did you look at me that way?
You looked through me,
Not at me.
You were the perpetrator,
You stole what was mine alone to give away.
The thoughts in your mind
Were those of harm and my humiliation.
You knew my friend,
She was sleeping on the couch,
Next to me.
I’m sure she could hear everything you were doing to me,
But pretended not to notice.
I am a hard sleeper,
Only woken when yelled at or prodded awake.
You broke the promise you made to my friend,
The promise that you wouldn’t hurt me.
You lied to her.
You lied to me.
You unbuttoned and unzipped your pants,
Exposing your intent.
I was unaware,
Blissfully asleep in my mind.
Your hand masked my screams as you held your knife against my throat.
The metal was cold against my skin,
And I shivered as you whispered that you would kill me if I tried to stop you.
I screamed into your hand as you pushed yourself inside of me,
The pain was unbearable.
How could you do that?
How could you betray my friend’s trust,
I managed to push you off of me enough to get my feet onto your chest,
I kicked you to the floor,
Causing you to drop your knife.
I felt blood flowing down my neck,
But I grabbed your knife and ran to the bathroom,
And locked the door.
I screamed for my friend to call the cops as I sliced my right arm.
She called the cops.
She forced you out the door,
Making sure to lock the doors and windows.
She told me it was safe to come out.
My friend saw what I had done because of you,
And we staunched the bleeding,
Wrapping the cuts with gauze and wrap.
She and I sat on the bathroom floor,
She believes it was all her fault,
But it was you,
It was you who didn’t tell her you were a registered sex offender,
But three times over.
You threatened women with your knife.
The cops came and you were nowhere to be found.
I gave my story to them,
Hoping they would stop you before you found another victim.
They found you,
Hiding in an alley,
Cowering in fear of going to prison.
The next year during your trials,
I was the final piece to your puzzle you set in motion.
I was the one who told the truth when you wouldn’t.
I was the one who sent you to prison for the next fifteen years.
You were the one who made me cower in fear of men,
In fear of what they would do to me.
I cannot love because of you.
You not only took my virginity,
But my ability to love another without fear of them harming me.