Innocent Bystander

I watched you destroy your life
I could’ve said something,
I should’ve said something.
But no, I said nothing…
Did nothing.
Instead I watched you throw it all away.
You had a future ahead of you.
But you gave it up to drugs and alcohol
I lost a friend
You lost your life
And now we both have to pay the price
I should’ve said something,
But I stood by watching
And did nothing
I was afraid to tell you
Afraid I’d lose you.
But I lost you anyways.
You left me for your new friends
Your new life.
And I stood by and
Did nothing.
But now I’m here at the funeral
Staring at your lifeless body
Regretting that I did nothing, said nothing
When I would’ve of done something.
Said something.
I feel awful,
I feel guilty.
Why did I do, say nothing?
When I could’ve done, said something?
You destroyed your life!
So why do I feel guilty?!
It’s your fault, not mine!
You’re guilty, I’m innocent?!
No, we’re both guilty.
You threw your life away
And I watched
I thought I was being a good friend.
But I wasn’t.
I let you die.
You let you die.
If I had said something.
You could still be here, now.
If only I wasn’t afraid!
If only I had acted.
It’s too late now.
They’re incinerating you to ashes.
Goodbye old friend.
I’m sorry, please forgive me.
You had a life ahead of you.
And I let you throw it all away.
Because I was afraid?
Because I was scared?
How selfish of me.
You were so young,
It’s not fair.
You weren’t ready.
I’m not ready.
Come back and tell me.
I am forgiven!
I can’t live with this guilt!
If you’re listening let the heavens strike me down.
Let them end my life.
I don’t deserve to live
When I let you die,
When you could’ve lived
I could have your savior
But I was, am, your destroying.
I’m sorry, please forgive me.
Kill me if you forgive.
This feeling is awful.
Don’t let me live with this feeling!
Please forgive me.
You don’t.
But I guess that’s okay.
I wouldn’t forgive me.
I knew what you were doing.
I knew what you were up to
Yet I did, said nothing
When I could’ve, should’ve, said, done, something.
I’m going to be sick.
There’s this pain at the pit of my stomach.
Is it guilt?
Is this what guilt feels lie?
It’s awful.
And then it happens.
You have forgiven me.
I’m dying! I’m so happy!
I feel at peace.
The guilt is gone.
The pain is gone.
And just before I take my last breath
I see you,
I see you as you were before
Before the drugs
Before the alcohol.
Before it all.
Your sweet innocent face.
Your smiling face, your rosy cheeks
And I smile
And I die with that smile.
You’re guiding me to the heavens.
I am forgiven
Thank you.


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