Without You

Sat, 08/30/2014 - 19:47 -- cjanem

Location

I thought about what it would be like

Without you.

I thought about how that would change me

For flowers bloom and trees root

With the beckoning of spring,

And the chills of winter

Wrapped us in blankets 

As we stared into our unwritten future.

The seasons of life

And the New Year

Showing promise of growth,

Transformation and,

Rain.

Taking your hand 

I saw you as a tree

And I your daisy.

You became my foundation

And I rooted in you insted of soil

And waited.

Bark blossomed with a beaten beauty

That I interpreted as love

As the thickness from your branches

Shaded me from sunlight.

Your shadow hovered me

Soon consumed me,

Whispering dark delusions,

Manipulations,

Making me masochistic;

Codependence became a comfort

And I thought about what it would be like

Without you.

I couldn't see

The small white flowers dying,

Turning purple from the bruises

Of your words,

Suffocating between the cracks

Of your control

Until they died.

Without you I see

That I tried to hard to grow daisies

In someone else when I should have

Planted them

In me.

Comments

cjanem

This poem had two drafts. The first version of this poem was a pathetic love poem in which screamed of codependence and a suffocating girl being desperate for an unworthy boy; the second draft was seeing the person for who he really was and writing truthfully about myself as well as the situation in that moment. Us women need to stop fearing the thought of being alone and stop worrying about making others happy and focus in and realize that expectations are important to keep and priorities should never falter to that in which a boy is among the first because it will drain you dry and no man is worth that.

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