What did you really expect?

No. 

Repeat it back to me. 

No, you say. 

The thick blanket of unconsciousness threatens to suffocate me. 

My eyes shouldn't close because I am not safe. 

You weren't repeating my words but refusing to abide by my rules.

But I'll be okay right? 

You and me, we are not strangers. 

We smile and say hi. 

But my spirit stirs with unease and the feeling o fyour teeth piercing my lips calls a deep sense of panic to the surface. 

But my body is frozen. 

It's wrong. All wrong. 

Your hands under my shirt, squeezing and pulling me from unconciousness.

My arms pinned down. 

I'm screaming but your mouth sucks the air out of the room.  Suffocating. 

You are on top of me, and no matter how many times I try to get away you've always found a way back. 

Unavoidable. 

A thief. 

Careless and Selfish. 

Did I feel as soft as you imagined? 

Were my lips salty with disdain and swollen from your greedy kisses? 

Was I any good? 

New and deep wounds lay raw and exposed. 

How am I supposed to breathe when you are holding me underwater? 

Your rebellion an anchor tied to my feet. 

I can't get away from it. 

You are stuck to me. 

How am I supposed to live in a world that wants me dead now? 

My laughs, once proud and vibrant, lay muted and dead. 

Who would want this empty shell now?

The girl who got too drunk. 

The girl who put out. 

The girl who lost her soul. 

The girl you always wanted to taste. 

A sample. 

An appetizer before you settled down and proposed to the girl you always knew you would.

And maybe I'd be happy you are happy if I'd ever thought about you before that night. 

Maybe I wouldnt hate you so much if  you hadn't carved your name into my skin. 

If you hadn't taken what was never supposed to belong to you. 

If you hadn't burned me down and played in my ashes. 

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

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