LIGHT

my world was full of darkness
some I did not understand
a deep black hole with no escape
not even a glimpse of light to brighten my darkest days

no one ever cared
so no one ever knew
the extent of pain, suffering, despair
I secretly was persevering through

nothing lively remained so all my hope had died
it then came to the point where I never even tried
nothing was left driving me to strive
life was composed of sleep and muted ugly girl cry

I was the lonely black sheep fretting I'd never be accepted
I tried to mirror something that would never come close to my peers’ precise reflection
just because I was one of a kind
I was hated always being looked at with evil eyes

I was lied, cheated, and bullied by some and by others I was the only one they played jokes on
pretending to care to win me over knowing I'd be too oblivious to notice
they were really the two-faced leech demons that would make it known I was completely worthless
leading me back towards a deeper pit of shame and despair

enough was enough, the point was made
I was unworthy so I began to fade away
retreating to my familiar home
which was further down my black hole

I was trapped and with no looking back kept digging deeper and deeper within my hole
so many struggles, so little time, nothing there to grab hold of I was living a lie
I was trapped with no way of looking back
so all that was left to do was die

so alone
so rundown
my world's normalcy completely crashed before my eyes
I had become completely deprived

one random day came a lighter shade of gray
so I searched to see from where it came
it shone from the cracks and shatters creeping down my hole of shame
immediately I had to push the light away, covering the spots where the light came

it kept shining through so I covered the cracks blocking it out
but there became too many I just finally gave in
more and more the light kept creeping in
something inside me started to grow mysteriously within

whatever was growing kept striking till I subsided
gave up the hopeless hope I didn't long to have any piece of
creeping in little by little confidence somehow struck within
leaving me unsure of what would be best for myself

I finally realized that a second chance was given
having been forgiven I now chose to care
so I started climbing out of my deep dark black hole
but I repeatedly slipped and tumbled

I felt like a failure, so I started to give up
but there was still that drive inside
something warming me up
it gave me the courage to once more try climbing back up

so I got back up
started to climb
this time still having trouble
I kept on going through all of the pain and struggles

it began to be okay
yet still so uncomfortable
I wanted to fight to get to the light
but I still couldn’t believe I could ever reach that goal which shone brightly above

reaching a new point of my hole
I stopped and rested 3 months total
at this time I noticed there might be a chance of reaching my objectives
so it was then on I began filling up the depth that was kept hidden

I jumped back in
landing in my old ways
it was then I realized I no longer wanted to be in my pit
filled completely with darkness and shame

the hole began to change
it was like a whole new place
one I was unsure of
I couldn’t find many reasons of why I should stay

I couldn’t recognize it
it wasn’t safe
now it was a place I wouldn’t continue to call my home
so it was that day I decided to keep ascending up my dark black hole

this time was different
there was finally a change
it was somehow better
I knew that this feeling was what I wanted more of

it was the start of something new
the world had began to change
a chance to find my true colors
instead of stuffing them away

too many things to live up to
too many things I knew I had to change
I wasn’t sure if I really was ready to endure
so I took a moment to make sure

harder and harder it became
working away the problems of pain
the mysterious feeling overcame
hope started to grow

I was becoming a new person
someone I never thought I could be
my true colors were flying
flying like a rainbow where at the end would be a pot of one of a kind gold

the light changed me
it was my face where it showed
reality came to me
the frown all suddenly turned into a smile

happy is now who I am
light is something I never want to ever lose again
I am almost done with this journey
the journey of becoming who I am

things I never thought could exist
are now parts of my life
all from one thing
LIGHT