"he's still here."
Here and gone. The words meld into one.
I screamed. I cried. I lost my mind.
Is it possibly to feel so much at the same time?
With him gone and coming back again. It's like my life before this was nothing but a game of pretend.
because I see it now. It's real.
It's real enough to feel but i cannot.
not yet. I cannot believe "he's still here."
I cannot believe he almost left.
Was it due to me? No, not me. At least not solely. I know I added to it.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I shout, just like you probably did. In your mind in your voice. I wasn't there. It eased your choice.
No point for stupid apologizations.
like you said.
I wasnt there. You almost arent.
I feel relation and elation. could that not be more diverse?
I've been there before. And I'm so thankful you've failed. And oh god oh god oh god i've wailed. I wasn't there with you, I was there before you. And just like that choice, I was too selfish to help you.
But then, what good could I?