Welcome to my Nightmare
She broke another bowl today.
It was the second one this week.
Fortunately, she missed my dad again.
The dogs huddled around me
in my dark, cold basement.
We listened for hours to the screaming.
There was banging against the walls,
slams and stooping on the floor.
They were scared.
I was afraid.
Tears rolled down my cheeks slowly
as I held onto my dogs tighter.
A third voice emerged.
It was louder than my mother’s.
She threatened to kill herself again.
Fresh cuts painted her wrists.
She hated the world,
but the world cared for her.
She hated herself
because of the narcissistic, ugly monster
could only see her reflection in the mirror.
She was a prisoner of her thoughts and ignorance.
The monster roared at me from above.
She was going to kill me.
My dogs curled up into a ball.
They tried to sleep
and pretend this reality was a nightmare
from which they could wake up in a lucid dream.
I wished I could have slept like them
and escape this conflagration for a moment of
tranquility and silence.
I wanted to climb the stair
walk through the front door
and be free.
To break the chains
would feel like being a bird released from
It could fly to the skies
to take in the pure, fresh air
and start a new life of joys and wonders.
Every day, it would see new beautiful places.
There were too many chains for me to break.
If I had left,
I would have broken their hearts
and left chaos to consume them.
It would rip me apart
to see them destroyed.
Guilt would gnaw away
until bones were left.
How could I call this place a home
if it wasn’t where my heart was?
Was I lost
if I had no place to go?
It was silent at midnight.
The dogs and I emerged from the basement.
Chairs were knocked over.
Shattered glass littered the floor.
A hole the size of a fist
was in the wall.
Tension lingered in the air ready to explore
like lighting a match
in a room filled with gasoline.
I cleaned up the debris and went outside.
Stars were shining bright
and the crescent moon floated in the cloudless sky.
If I ran away,
nothing in the sky would change.
No matter where I would go
I couldn’t erase my memories
or heal my wounds.
Until the earth turns
and a voice speaks out
to save them from themselves,
I will be trapped in this nightmare.