This poem is directed towards my eldest brother... who has been on a heavy drug addiction for the past year. He has a 5 year old son who he barely sees and has got himself in a lot of trouble with the law.
Hour Glass of Tracks
Every time I see your track marks, I see a black hole
That I am reaching down into,
Each one is a little deeper,
A little worse than before.
Almost like an hour glass, counting down the days
You have left.
I feel hopeless,
Watching while your demons consume you.
I see the physical evidence where
Your body is being taken hostage yet
How can I stand here and watch?!
The white substance, the hypodermic needles...
This is a cover.
I know you are scared,
You feel your soul has already been damned for the taking...
But I am here.
Can you hear my hopeless screams?
Do you see my river of tears?
Can you see I am tearing at the seams?
I just want my brother back.
I am losing count of the tracks.
Or maybe I am scared to lose count of the tracks...
Does it matter?
Prison over death,
Marijuana over meth.
The hour glass,
The track marks...
A silent breaking heart.
I still love you...
But I don't know how to save you from yourself.
I have yet to learn to do that myself.
I do know though,
That I will continue to love you...
Even after the sand
Has run to the other side.
Because I am hopeless enough to
Cling onto the thought of
Seeing your cleansed soul
On the other side.