All I want is to be free.

free of the demons that haunt my nights

Laughing in glee as my eyes droop down.

His face fades into place like the cheshire cat.

He laughs as I cry, it has begun

As his face appears strong and mine is now weak.

I shout out, “NO! NO! I don’t want this to be me.”

But no sound comes out

His hand strays up my neck and places his lips upon mine

I cringe away but his hand is now a prison.

I freeze.

Frozen solid, A statue

Souls fly, yes they do

Mine detached, not wanting to feel.

He rips down my walls with harsh movements

And replaces them with memories of lost firsts.

With a smile of glee he whispers “sexy”

As if that will make this nightmare end.

With his sandpaper hands he takes my frozen body

And breaks it,

Bends it

Penetrates it.

He says, “it’s okay” and makes sure I know I am “protected”

he states wickedly as his arms take me

I gag and choke

He moans and groans

Is this what love is?