As I write, my heartbeat accelerates.

As I think of him, my hands start to shake.

I thought this was what I was waiting for all my life.

The year 2016 is when I really had to put up a fight.

It started when I passed him on the stairs.

I was invisible but he glowed like an angel.

Later that year we became friends.

I always thought there was something more then.

It was the way he looked at me longer.

The way he was worried when I went away.

How he always knew I wanted the day to last longer with a cup of coffee.

How he would hug me until I felt okay.

I was introduced to everyone in his family

As his best friend and I became friends, he grew jealous.

He snooped through me phone and drove home.

He left me alone and took my home with him.

However he was a fool, as was I.

In love I was blind and ignored his lies.

He said he would stop to drink and breathing in toxic things.

I knew he lied with other girls and did many things.

He would randomly text me, I thought that he loved me.

Real friends don’t treat me the way you did, and make me feel itty bitty.

We had a huge fight that made me cry, then I told him why.

I told him I used to be in love with him.

After a long pause, he didn’t know what to say

Except that other girls have told him the same.

Such beautiful words to hear back

That the one I loved had nothing decent to say back.

He calls himself a friend, but I wouldn’t say that.

There are many details I left out

Because I don’t want to think back.

The saddest one is that I felt I didn’t have a way out.

Instead, I was locked away in my room for months hoping I would die now.

Thinking that I was the one who hurt him while I was falling apart.

I cried myself to sleep

Hoping death would grant me peace.

It was because I fell for his beautiful blue eyes,

That I ignored the real ugliness that was inside.