As I write, my heartbeat accelerates.
As I think of him, my hands start to shake.
I thought this was what I was waiting for all my life.
The year 2016 is when I really had to put up a fight.
It started when I passed him on the stairs.
I was invisible but he glowed like an angel.
Later that year we became friends.
I always thought there was something more then.
It was the way he looked at me longer.
The way he was worried when I went away.
How he always knew I wanted the day to last longer with a cup of coffee.
How he would hug me until I felt okay.
I was introduced to everyone in his family
As his best friend and I became friends, he grew jealous.
He snooped through me phone and drove home.
He left me alone and took my home with him.
However he was a fool, as was I.
In love I was blind and ignored his lies.
He said he would stop to drink and breathing in toxic things.
I knew he lied with other girls and did many things.
He would randomly text me, I thought that he loved me.
Real friends don’t treat me the way you did, and make me feel itty bitty.
We had a huge fight that made me cry, then I told him why.
I told him I used to be in love with him.
After a long pause, he didn’t know what to say
Except that other girls have told him the same.
Such beautiful words to hear back
That the one I loved had nothing decent to say back.
He calls himself a friend, but I wouldn’t say that.
There are many details I left out
Because I don’t want to think back.
The saddest one is that I felt I didn’t have a way out.
Instead, I was locked away in my room for months hoping I would die now.
Thinking that I was the one who hurt him while I was falling apart.
I cried myself to sleep
Hoping death would grant me peace.
It was because I fell for his beautiful blue eyes,
That I ignored the real ugliness that was inside.