It was when you told me you loved me

that I really began to faulter

the words that came to my ears

from the mouth of my love

but instead

 

made my ears sting

when you spit those lovely words at me

 

If you had really loved me

you would have kept quiet

you would have stayed away from me

but instead

 

You forced yourself on me

you drove a knife through my life

which tore through him too

 

If you had really loved me 

you would have let me go when I said no 

you would have seen the strength in my love for him

but instead

 

you clung on with nails deep in my eyes

blinding me with thoughts of misdirection

you pushed me to pick you 

 

but instead

I picked you right out of my life

because I deserve to be loved 

beyond what you were ever capable of

 

To love is an action, not a feeling

and he loved me more than you ever could

he saw my flaws as beautiful details

and loved each one as much as the next

and also

 

he showed me what true love felt like

he knew taking care of him

took care of me too 

and we live there, in that love together

and also

 

I wonder now

how it felt knowing 

that you were never an option anyway