I swallow the poison my body craves,
While I know the things at stake.
I claw at pieces of my skin for my mother’s sake.
I hurt my insides, to save the out;
There’s always a price to pay.
But even though I know the risks, my Will, will never stay.
I want the scars, I want the cuts,
I hate what others think.
It helps the pain inside my brain from falling off the brink.
I write to tell myself I’m fine,
And so others don’t suspect;
My reality is crumbling because my mind is wrecked.
I swear that I don’t want your pity,
This isn’t some charade.
All I want, is to stop, and quit this fucking game.
Pills for me are more than drugs,
They help me to exist.
That’s why I claw and hurt myself – to prove I’m not a myth.
As the time, passes by, it only starts to worsen.
My family tree is catching me, and hangs me by its branches.
This curse I bare has destined me to follow in their turn.
To always fall and make mistakes,
But from those that I can’t learn.
Depression and anxiety were only the beginning.
I had to make my big mistake,
And that one I’m still fighting.
I never thought my life could change from just on little pill,
But swallowing, that little thing,
Destroyed my power of will.
Im risking more than just my future,
Im risking those I love.
Cause I’m not sure how much they’ll take before they just give up.