If i could erase from this world
everything that reminded me of you,
God would have to take everything back
and start from scratch.
For the mark you left on my life
is so immense, so intricate...
spilled blood from the recesses of my soul
trickling, streaming, weakly clotting from the inside out.
No matter what I tried,
I could not forget your face
the last words you spoke to me.
Had I known it would be our final farewell,
would I have hugged tighter?
Could I have found a way around the hurt, fear, shame, and guilt
somewhere along the road,
and altered the course?
Would anything have helped you stay?
I could not live with the secrets and lies,
You could not live with the weight of the truth.
Had you known it would be our last goodbye,
would you have said anything?
Would you have showed up
or remained distant?
I wonder if I cross your mind on nights like these.
Am I an absence, a gap in your life,
or a hole already filled, covered, and smoothed out?
It'd be easier to forget, I know,
As every day, I feel you out there somewhere,
forced to remember.
No matter what I try,
I cannot forget your face
those closing words of yours,
the pain and strife you endured.
The unrelenting question;
are you happier without me?