Love Like Me

Mon, 09/08/2014 - 23:33 -- FawnK

Locations

60061
United States
42° 13' 41.088" N, 87° 57' 46.3824" W
60061
United States
42° 13' 41.088" N, 87° 57' 46.3824" W
60061
United States
42° 13' 41.088" N, 87° 57' 46.3824" W

The day I met him, he had my heart.
Then everytime I saw him it was like it was going to beat out of my chest.
Shortly after knowing him I was ready to give him the rest
And no. I don't mean sex.

I mean I gave every minute, every second.
My parents told me that is was an obsession
But what could I do, it was like love was in a recession
And I was about to learn my biggest lesson but for now
For now he was the answer to all my questions

I remember our first fight.
I thought it was playful and fun
the way he picked me up and threw me
I had no idea that it was a loaded gun

The love I learned about was different than the love I got
The love I learned wouldn't have yelled, hit and blamed.
It wouldn't have sworn or called me names.
Love is paitent, love is kind.
And when I used to think of love, that was what came to mind

But now there's pain and tears
And I may feel that for years
But I'm out
Because the love that kept me in the dark
that twisted me up inside and left it's perminate mark
Showed me I was more
than a matt he could walk over before he got to the door.

Why did I love him so much
that I would go back and let him greet me with a punch
Because what was a bruise compared to being able to be beside him
like the sun and the moon rised for him
Because I would have died for him

Crawling out of the darkness, over and over.
He pulls me back, again and again.
It's like I'll never be free of this fucking man.

How could I be free?
When I thought that there was nothing left for me
He made me believe that he was all I had
So I could live with it

I lived, in a world that revolved around him
I lived, in a smoke show of love that didn't exist
But that was what I didn't know

And what I didn't know was this
Love doesn't demand
and it would never, ever raise a hand

And to other people, what they would see
that I was letting him walk all over me
but to me, I was proving my loyalty
to someone who deserved none of me

And to you, if you thought you broke me. 
I am not breakable, I am knowledgable.

I am a woman who untangled the webs that 

you tied in my head, maybe you should tie

your knots tighter because I'm free.

i let you grow in my mind like vines up a wall 

until it was so crowed that I couldn't escape at all.

Maybe you should have planted more seeds because 

the vines you grew to blind me actually made me see.

made me see the unthinkable, I was stuck being screamed at 

for even spilling something on your table


But now I'm out
Because that hate, that anger
The way he looked at me like I may as well be a stranger
That is not what I learned that love should be.
And please don't learn about love like me.

 

 

 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741