hurt
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Hiding in my bedroomCrying silentlyI don't want them to see my tearsDon't want them to worry
I'm afraidOf life and change and everything elseI'm out of controlSometimes I'm afraid of myself
Hiding in my bedroomCrying silentlyI don't want them to see my tearsDon't want them to worry
I'm afraidOf life and change and everything elseI'm out of controlSometimes I'm afraid of myself
They consume hot dogs
Too
Like you
But they don’t eat dogs
Never, ever
They do not eat cats
They do not eat pets
Never, never.
Immigrants eat wild boars, wild hogs
I wrote that I was going to wait for you love
Wait until my heart contempt
But I also wrote that my time is running out, and as the days goes by
I always wanted to believe it to be true,
That in the end, maybe it would end up being me and you.
But maybe I not to accept the reality that it is not,
Clouds roll in
As darkness falls
electricity dances over my skin
And the voice in the void calls
I scream out to reach you
I have heard people say that they were going through Hell,
And most of the time, they didn’t need to say anything, and you were able to tell.
In a world of darkness,
I am always told that the light will prevail.
Through moments of uncertainty,
What guides you will never fail.
You are my love
You are my dove
You are the only one whom I want to keep in my heart
You are the liar
You are the fire
You are the only one who made me weep in my hard
You were my law
New year.
New classes.
She's only in 2 of them with me.
Last year, she was in all of them.
I still see her.
I sneak glances.
We don't talk.
New year.
New classes.
She's only in 2 of them with me.
Last year, she was in all of them.
I still see her.
I sneak glances.
We don't talk.
New year.
New classes.
She's only in 2 of them with me.
Last year, she was in all of them.
I still see her.
I sneak glances.
We don't talk.
I think I lost myself, again Because here I am, fondling the sheets at 3am, looking for you in the darkness I only feel comfortable, if you are around And I can't eat, unless I feed you first
Slip.
Trip.
Stumble.
Fall.
Slipping on tears.
Tripping on fears.
Stumble on life.
Fall with strife.
Slip.
Trip.
Stumble.
Fall.
The time came
when we no longer smiled
as we once did at Table 26.
Nor as we laughed
when pouring rain pounced on our walk
so we melted a kiss against a tree.
She looks at her self in the mirror.
The pain in her heart is like no other
in the world. She looks at the imperfections
in her self.
“Why am I so ugly”
Sitting in front of the door with the tears streaming down my face,
Knowing that there is no way that I can get out of this dark place.
Just as I thought things were turning around, life decides to take a turn,
For so long, I kept holding on, trying to convince myself that all of this was for something,
But I wasn't prepared for all of the hurt and pain that it would bring.
I am covered in bruises, cuts and scares from head to toe,
I am the person I needed when I was younger.
And while I wish I had someone like me to kiss my boo boos
and to tell me it will be okay
and to pick me up as I tumble,
I am happy that I can be that for other peeople.
I pick up the red and black pants that I saw you wearing in those pictures that I look at all the time,
And I really thought that by know, I would be able to call you mine.
The smell of sand.
The feeling of peace.
The edge to cry for absolutely no reason.
The cravings...the need to be held.
You shot at me, but I survived.
You aimed again and I dodged.
You didn't give up. You followed
All the way. I began to see you as
My shadow and better reflection
I didn't recorgnise those eyes full-
In a rush of people sometimes there are a few that get knocked down.
They fall.
Get kicked,
Trampled,
Bloodied,
Bruised,
Lost,
I'm just tired.
Not the kind that sleep can cure.
Tired of being let down.
Tired of faking happiness.
Tired of being sad.
Tired of waking up and feeling like I'm worthless.
Tired of trying.
It hurts so much
That I now fear nothing
It hurts so much
That I revisited everything
Under the noon
I am so good at remembering
The pro of remembrance if you will
Which doesn’t mean I have a good memory
It means I’m bad at letting go
And sometimes our strengths are our weaknesses
L’amour est un rêve qui commence
L’amour est une chimère qui commence
C’est une ballerine qui danse
C’est un poète qui pense
Stormy clouds are traveling through your heartAnd bitter grudges are ruining your happinessHate destroys and love builds everything whichIs beautiful. Get a grip on yourself while the midday sun
you drop a bombshell on me that you might love me again
again, you never stopped, you're unsure
but you gave me hope
that delicious, foolish hope that I gobbled up
because how could I not?
I seek truth in your eyes,
find lies I never knew existed
and wonder
how stained is your soul?
I wish to discover purity
caged within you,
to dig deep until I can uncover
the purpose of deception.
You know, I thought if I just kept writing about my pain
That the pain would get better
That I would get better
That maybe by sharing my hurt
I wouldn’t hurt anymore
But the truth is that
I trusted your words
I liked to beleive you liked me
my stomach feeling like it's twisting inwards
knowing the truth I flee
your trickary came in sets
words entered my head
only to break my neck
Waking from a dream that carried me away
Away from the past sorrows of day to day
Free of the shackles of a hard working life
Three times I’ve forgiven, wrongs causing strife
A switch is what it’s like between me and you.
One day you’re turned on and I’m off.
What should I do?
You scream so loud to try n’ get through
We are going to dig to bury our dead:
Mother, father, sisters and brothers,
Uncles, aunts, friends and strangers.
I Seen You Falling
This Night Of Fall
Having Turned Winter
Right Before My Eyes.....
I Felt Your Constraint
Your Hands Around My Neck
I Felt This Tightening
In My Chest, You Try To Hide.....
Im tired of writing about love
Pretending I understand it
And all it’s complexity
As if I have any success stories
The truth is I am still just as oblivious
Just as dumbfounded by love
It doesn’t matter what I name this poem
Or perhaps it won’t deserve a name
We never name the things we plan to kill you see
Since names make it that much harder to watch it die
I never been this confused,
what if my life will just turn to blue?
How will I survive,
if I don't know what to do.
This is just another love poem
Nothing too exciting
Just a lost soul grasping to words
To try and pull himself out of the dark
Love? dark?
Didn’t expect those words together?
Or maybe you did
I began to write this poem
Telling myself it would be the last
The last one I wrote to you
The last one I wrote because of you
Your final one
But I lied
I realize now
You know, I wrote a poem about Tuesday’s once upon a time
It wasn’t a happy poem
It wasn’t a sad poem either
If anything it was a disgruntled poem
A poem about how Tuesday’s are the worst day of the week
A boy raped me
Told me it was my fault
Whose alter do I run to when he ran through me like a crosswalk
My defense
Senseless
Derivative of my fences
Barbedwire to make the top higher
You know,
You never really learned to accept a gift
Whether it was a compliment
Or wine
Or tear drops on your couch
And especially my heart
You never could fathom my love
It’s depth or viscosity
I'm so tired Of tryingOf pretending everything is okOf being unloved But I can’t sleep foreverNot yet
Why does loving you feel so different
Feel so natural?
So unnatural?
So…. Conflicting?
Why does loving you feel like bees in my stomach
Like fireflies in my heart
Like ants under my skin?
I drove home yesterday.
All the way from north to south.
I drove home yesterday.
Not a sound escaped my mouth.
I drove home yesterday.
Donna, donna che ho tanto amato
Oh ! Ci sono diverse primavere fa
Che il tempo fosse bello
E il vento fischiava basso e lento
I am not going to sit here and pretend that I am okay,
Cause if I am being honest, it really changes and I have to take it day by day.
One day I go to bed smiling and I am still very hopeful for the future and what it can bring,
My heart aches and yearns,
my eyes have no more tears to shed,
like experiencing a drought
my mind can't think straight anymore, it can't focus
you fill my head, day and night
i am weary
As embers in the night,
you set my heart on fire
intense and violent, wildly out of control
spreading intensely
i find myself lost in the thought, that is "you"
though maybe it was my own wishful thinking
I cry, but only by myself
Constantly I reminisce about us
Red was the setting sun, setting your silhouette ablaze
Your smile which shined brighter than any star
I keep wondering if you think about me still
Emotions,
too hard to hide
feeling,
sensitive to the touch
feeling these emotions that I have for you
makes me vulnerable
for I feel too deeply
i feel,
Do you remover the first time you saw a plus sized man in a movie?
On TV?
In your local theater show?
What did he look like?
Did he smile?
Did he laugh so full his tummy shook?
I see your very tired
Life and love has beaten you down
The days have grown long and I want to hold you in my arms
They say hurt people hurt people
Everyone told me that I was crazy, but I so badly wanted to prove them wrong.
I feel like an idiot, for hoping that things would go the way that I wanted them to, and for holding on for so long.
Imagine a life where your parents are forever lasting in love.When you never have to worry about the two people that gave you life will never separate.But my imagination cannot fathom that unrealistic life.
Why do I look like this?
Why do I have this body shape?
Why am I not pretty like the girls on social media?
You stopped talking to me like it doesn't hurt.
I'd rather you scream until you're blue saying you hate me
then to be like dust thrown into the wind.
Why do I constantly stay
knowing the outcome?
I keep them in my little box of altoids. on the second shelf in a wooden decoration I made last time I was stuck
people broke my soul so I chose to cut the parts they didn't like
The halls crowd around me
As I push through bodies and backpacks
My feet fall lightly
On the dirty concrete floor
Students laugh
Students cry
Everyone is lost
In their own self-centeredness
you hurt me
you were supposed to protect me
you broke me
you were supposed to hold me
you terrifeid me
you wee supposed to make me brave
you left
Why do I feel
this way?
Why do I always give you the benefit of the doubt and never cut myself
the same slack?
words
spew and
Love is dead.
It doesn't live here anymore.
How could I of been so nieve?
So damn pathetic ?
He blames me.
Says I make it hard and complicated when I'm involved.
Nine years.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
For the losers who lost us. The people who loved us. The lucky people who get to meet us.
This is for you.
I don't have an attitude, just a personality you can't handle love.
i've been losing in a lot of ways
but by the days
it's proven
the things and people i keep putting energy into
life tells me i'm not meant to
but i didn't want to lose this much
"Learn to love deeply, you may get hurt. But it's worth it as long it's true love."
#c9_fm
My heart speaks a language
no one understands.
It's dying to speak.
But it's already dead.
Heartbreak.
They say it causes both emotional and physical exhaustion and pain...
That was enough to scare me away from it for so long-
Love I mean-
I never let myself fall hard enough to get hurt.
Memories
of sunshiny days
are fleeting
They pass
in a blur of ecstatic haste
and they leave behind
the bitter taste of longing
The touch
once remembered
How do you feel,
When you witness demise?
How do you deal,
Without effort to try?
How do you see,
When you're dead, so blind?
Who can I be,
So dead inside?
How can you say,
Greatest Pain
I remember this pain like it was yesterday
My life was forever changed nothing will ever be the same
My greatest fear
Her
The Anniversary of What Started Everything
My name is kimmy
and i was raped
at the age of 3
it has taken me
29 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth
Will I
Remember at the end?
Crying eyes
Yet I like to pretend
Questions not asked
That how I want it to be
Die young and live fast
I'm hurting, can't you see?
I wear a big ol smile
You say you love me but you’re notYou say you’re going to fight and give it all you gotYou say you find it hard to breatheYou say you’re mad at me but I’m the one who seethes
yell, scream, shout
silence is scarce.
with every word spoken, a new argument begins.
each room of the house is a minefield.
i tread lightly, but somehow always become collateral.
You gave us teenage revolutionaries,
fighting against dictators
against governments
that didn’t listen
wouldn’t listen
The lights in her heart getting darker, you know?
An embodiment of grief from head to toe
The sparkles in eyes vanished & heart sank
The colourful soul is turning to be blank
The needles on the wall clock with the ticking sound
Pulverizing my soul, making my heart pound
Every audible gasp ensuing the other one
A blink of eye that snatched my reason
I know it's silly
...
i use to fall asleep
i would see your face
my eyelids would fill
with bright colors
and my nose would
breathe in your scent
and i would hold you close
Don't you dare believe I just 'left' you.My love will always burn inside of me for 'My Boo",For you're the first and only who I let take a chunk of me.It stabs me inside knowing I waited 20 years for an AIT fling,
Night after night, I somehow find myself
Closer to you than I have ever felt.
The time spent with you seems eternal.
I feel as if I know everything about you
Even when you don't speak.
Dear ex-lover,
I wanted to taste the way you bleed
and just like in between the lines i read
no you didnt love me, didnt want this tree to suceed
I.The twisting spindlesof nature’s Quenched Desirepoke angrily into her spinewith the fresh sharpnessof slaughtered promises.
Stand up
Take a bow
I've done the thing
I seem to be best at
I fucked up again
Work
Home
Life
Love
It's surprising
I don't fuck up
Breathing
Eating
Fucking up
Hello, My name is....
you probly dont care.
I mean who am I?
A girl in a crowd...
I open up.
and you close.
My mind starts to wonder...
what couldve been if i said my name?
It's Funny...
If you show you don't care
people start to beleive it.
they start to hurt you
then they leave you
Then your laying there cold
tears fall down your cheecks
I know you are not here for me
I kneeled and prayed to the trees
the trees only my lips had kissed
whalst you kissed her silhotte
she was missed, but not quite gone
You had known me long
i still remember
the feeling of your hand
holding onto mine
our fingers intertwined
i miss our silliness
as we tickled each other and laughed together
or when you put you arm around me
Been thinking too much about you
And its filling me with dread
My soul is screaming for its mate
Cant silence the noise in my head
You cut me deep once before
Im still trying to stop the bleeding
you did nothing wrong, you’re a good person
but you’re hurt, and i figured that out by myself
i know you’re afraid to open up
i know you’re afraid to let down your walls
and let someone in
I Fall down onto my knees
I look up into your eyes
I can see you praying to the heavens
Set a fire in my heart
Don’t you know I want you
I roll a blunt and sink deep in my thoughts. I smoke a blunt until I get rid of all of my thoughts. Clouds of smoke then I feel nothing at all.
I can’t breathe the second before
I pass out
I won’t open my mouth until it feels
Like my head its exploding within
You don't seem to care
Sometimes I wonder if I’m real
If I really exist or if I’m just told that I do
I can not prove to you that I exist
Nor can you prove to me that you do.
Is reality a conscious effort
Or perhaps it simply is?
My life has been on hold for so long I didn’t even realise
No progress has become the new norm
While I sit here and wait for you to love me
Like once upon a time when we were both so young
How many girls are thinking what i'm thinking right now?
This kind of crazy makes me want to start drinking.
on and off again
Confusing me, making me think i'm in love
Am I an effigy? A solid statue for you to practice attraction or affliction? Building me up with words and sweet gifts. Reasons to make me forget that the fire is coming. Filling my head with straw that I was convinced you picked just for me.
When you told me that you didn’t love me. I was not surprised. I did not stop to question how you couldn’t love someone as empty as myself. I was disappointed, I will admit it, but isn’t this always how it goes?
i am weak.
like eye of the storm.
i marvel at the terrific ocean
while my reflection stares at me
i meet its gaze.
Once I had a heart,
A heart as big as the world!
Well maybe not that large…
But it fit inside of a girl.
But over time I find it broken,
Shattered beyond repair.
I should have never let it open
Dear Love,
When you entered my life
You’ve brought me nothing but happy days and I can’t thank you enough for that
I pray that one day you see that you were worth every minute
I begged you for forgiveness
But you sat on your throne a laughed
I know you gave me my time with him like I asked you too
You gave me his love so you could watch me
As you took it all away from me forever
I would rather hate you then love the idea of you.
That's the world I've been inhabiting for the last few months.
My stream has emptied into the sea of your emotions,
and I am tossed around in the malestrom of your moods.
I want to die.
It's been a while since I said that out loud
The screaming voices of the world have sworn me to secrecy
But it’s true.
I’m not afraid to say it
Not afraid to accept the inevitable
As far as feelings go,
I'm the last one you should ask.
I've been meeting too many emotions
That I have lost my way.
Disjointed lines
And heartbreaks altogether
Made me a vicious predator
Oh my Love
how it is you try & do love me
how you get & desire to be so close
Oh my Love
how that desire
will get you crushed
I remember the smell.
His hand against my mouth
The dirt and grease
That will always be lodged in my memories
When your world freezes over like the tears from your eyes
Like a call from the doctor or when your mother cries
To feel your heart sink like a stone thrown in anger
To the depths of dark seas, as if tied to an anchor
The familiar scratching at the inner linings of your throat like a cat scratching at the walls, screaming to be let out. The sensation of your airways closing like that time when a man you did not know choked you for reasons you did not know.
I miss laughing with you
About everything and nothing
Laughing until we cried
And crying until we laughed
We were this unbreakable unit of people
i take off my shirt,
turn my back to the mirror
and look at all of the scars-
taking a knife to my back
seems to be everyone’s favorite hobby,
coke and acid and weed and girls that weren’t me
but you were my only drug
my only addiction
and to you, to you my drug of choice,
to you I was loyal
it was as though he was helium,
and I just happened to be an empty balloon.
often we found nothing but tedium,
The Seattle Skyline at Half Past Three.
It never meant that much to me.
The Seattle Skyline at Six'till Four.
I've never wanted so much more.
Your skin, Paler than a jug of farm fresh milk. Your lips, Dryer than a drought in Death Valley. Your nose, More crooked than Hillary Rodham Clinton. Your hair, Rougher than ‘98 Compton California. Your eyes, Deader than roadkill on I
They expect me to stand here in silence to find worth in how they deprived me of who I truly was .
Some days are nothing but black
Fighting a battle in endless fog
Seeing nothing, hearing only pitiful static
Some days are nothing but black
Nights bring emptiness, fading wordlessly to fog
Head under water
Held in place, trapped
I'm losing my breath
Held in place, trapped
Still, you keep me there
Held in place, trapped
It is all my fault
Held in place, trapped
How when your life starts to spin out of control
You barely notice
How you can never really pin point the moment
When things got out of hand
Or you choose not to
I feel like a bubble of emotion
Floating in the ease of your presence
But I think I am always waiting
For the inevitable "POP"
And knowing it wouldn't be possible
To put us back together
but no matter how hard he tries
he will never be able to change
he overthinks and doubt will arise
he locks his feelings in a cage
I plod down the frost wrapped streets,
My lips carving a grin with every passerby,
Their natural reaction is to smile back,
Maybe because they’re joyful.
I wish I could be like these acquaintances,
I just want you to see the way you've hurt me,
the mask I wear everyday to hise the pain,
the pain that is going through me,
I need this pain to be slain.
I just want you to see the way you've hurt me,
No one asked me what I wanted
No one cares when you’re not wanted
I am not the man I wanted
But no one asked
No one asked me who I loved
No one cared I wasn’t loved
Love is color blind...pure, innocent, it transcends
beyond the color spectrum of Black...White...Red...Yellow
Love reigns from within, deeper than skin tones on surface
Who am I?
But a demon in the deep.
I might not be like you,
But I still need air to breathe.
Is it you who will drown me?
You who force me down?
I fight, not for a victory,
I remember the time,
my eyes were full
of this purest hope
I hardly remember
How it was
To believe
I deserved
To hope
But,
Day after day
When I feel
The morning
Stitches by erika taylor
Stitches
Can’t seem to contain
My wounds
Opened, and reopened
Like a fresh cut,
You're lying in bed.
Are you in bed or are you lying?
I cant figure it out.
I'm tired of trying
Hazed silence/
Hazed silence of the drip of water/
Hot steam trails that hit the frigid pavement/
Heavy pants of closure
Far away in mind but close in heart
The time well spent is more than I could need
Yet I’m still feeling the tears I left on your shirt
Remember how when you were little you would scrape your knee
How you would run to mommy crying
How she would kiss your “boo-boo,” put a bandaid on it and it would be all better?
Can you feel it?
My disparity,
It’s there and all I feel.
I’m desperate for you,
Your touch,
do you know the word home?
do you know what it means?
do you know what it
smellstastessounds
like?
do you know what it
feels
Listen up,
I don't care.
What anyone says.
Got a hole in my heart
And a hole in my head.
You can't convince me,
That you meant what you said.
When you spoke so softly,
By my hospital bed.
If you wanted to see how far
you could take it before i broke.
Darling you should have looked closer.
I was already broken
Everybody wants to talk to me
Everybody wants to know about the secrets that i bottle
The thoughts I keep to myself
Still nobody is ready to know the truth
I will always be here for you.
I will be there for the late nights, the early mornings,
the breakdowns and the breakups.
I know you don't love me.
But, could you please just love my name on a screen?
barely a woman at all, at 14
i began a search for love. to prove to myself that
i could be loved.
i began a search for a feeling. to feel anything.
You were young
and dumb.
A man from Juárez,
driving around Aurora.
Banda music blaring
from the speakers,
As the new tracks licked the freshly fallen snow
My eyes seemed to glisin brighter than ever
As if my arrows could taste the thick metallic liquid of the soon to be
That beautiful girl
Under the blossom tree
Reading her books
She never acknowledged me.
And in my mind
I knew she never would
And even though I wanted to,
I knew I never could.
So baby tell me what's up.
Why are things getting rough.
When I try to text or call you, ya' never pick up.
It's such a shame, I gotta take the blame.
You only think that love is a silly little game.
If the truth is coming outThen I’ll always love youHow could I run away from youWith your eyes like diamondsAnd how could I stay with youWith your voice as gentle as a chainsawYou pulled me in
I don’t need youI don’tIt took me 8 long monthsBut it’s trueI don’t need your smile or your laughI don’t need your hand tangled in mine
We are still the children painting pictures to hang on the fridge,
but now it's too late to start over.
Too late to pick a different color.
Every stroke is a different future and every drop a different reality.
Free
Your heart
For me today,
Tomorrow, any other day,
Whenever suits you best!
I'll be here--in every day life
Waiting
Patiently alone
Why is the world so judgmental?
Like people,
Hungry animals choose their prey
By looking for the weak or wounded
They pursue them—
because you’ve never seen the kind
of love that picks you up when you fall
because you can’t remember the last
time you saw your mother smile
or the last time your father’s words weren’t laced with venom
All I hear is the blood pumping into my veinAn open cut, slit by my brainI don't scream outI deserve painI prefer myself this 5 years agoI was introduced To a monster in my own skin
Path to the Heart
She's the wave just ere it reaches its crest
That perfect moment as it picks you up,
right before it breaks into a beautiful surf,
Reflecting the world in her eyes.
If only I could control my life,
maybe it wouldn't be so hard to survive,
I'd burn my memories into ashes that fall to the sea,
and delete my feelings like a flash drive or on a CD,
Speckled shadows on my collarbonesWhere your greedy hands wrote your name,Where my selfish whispers angered you,My desperate pleas denied youThe prize buried deeply in my chest
Now, I know what you’re gonna think,
I know what you’re gonna say,
“Another poem, really? It doesn’t even have a title! What’s it gonna ponder on, world problems? We don’t need to be reminded of these things!”
I felt you
and it scared me how much you could see
you were the first person to know what I'd been through
and you still wanted me?
I wasn't sure how to feel
I still remember in vivid detail the first time my father made me bleed. It was a cold November evening and we had just finished dinner. I was all dressed up in my golden basketball jersey ready for a game.
You know what they say
and you’ve heard what they’ve said
Go seize the day
Don’t stay home in bed
But my head is too heavy
And each move is a battle
My bones are not ready
You want me to feel broken
Alone, nowhere to go
I’ve heard the blades you’ve spoken
I have the scars to show
But I won’t stand by complacent
Won’t let you spread your hate
You hit me hard
You played your cards
You broke a glass
And caught the shards
you broke my heart
tore it apart
You left me here
Nowhere to start
So the story goes
I’m sorry that I couldn’t make you happy
I’m sorry that I can’t make myself happy
I’m sorry that happiness isn’t a language I speak
But I loved you
I’m sorry if I pushed you away
I am drifting, a lonely piece of driftwood covered in pale moonlight on an open sea. I don’t know where I am going nor where I came from, but I am drifting. I feel hollow, empty like a piece of me is gone and it can’t be replaced.
I’ve been trying for weeks
But I can’t seem to find it
I’ve been biting my cheeks
like the idea is inside them
But the blood starts to pool
with its signature taste
I feel like a fool,
i would brighten the sun to keep you warm,
but you just put on a jacket.
i would wipe your tears to make sure you can see,
but you use your sleeve.
i would search for you in a crowded room,
i'll admit it
i am not much of a poet
i do not know much about rhyming
i just know about the individual
and how it is hard to be original
how we sit here and talk about nothing
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone
you’re gonna miss the way I loved you
you’re gonna miss the way I let you hurt me
you’re gonna miss what I let you get away with
you’re gonna miss the way my hair shines in the sun
Do you hear the storm coming?
feel the thunder shaking the ground?
can you see the lightning in the distance?
feel the wind weaving through your clothes?
can you hear the rain getting closer and louder and heavier?
Yes I am broken, but I am not defeated. I am like a salmon breaking through the surface of the water in order to fight the current. I am a glow stick breaking in the hands of a child on a summer evening, spreading my light.
There once was a peaceful creature hidden away in a sweet cedar forest. The forest was ancient with beautiful features, but never a stranger or tourist
I wish I could tell you
I have something to say
But when I finally try to
You walk far away
The somethings a secret
That only I know
I tried hard to keep it
But it’s starting to show
Do you remember that time at that place with those people? How could I forget? Omg that was the best! I totally miss it! Remember that time that you were crying in the bathroom and I pretended I didn’t hear you? Oh yeah!
I do not care for violence
Yes, you heard me right
But if you hurt a friend of mine
Then get ready for a fight
I was raised on stones and firewood
With hot coals beneath my feet
Do you remember the days, the nights, the adventures we always used to share? Flying away on wings of laughter that were built on mutual care. Five good friends and lots of fun was all I used to need.
I once had the chance to take a stand
To give the world my helping hand
Or make a difference in this land
But I walked away
When I was young I loved to dance
To put my soul into a trance
These heavy hearted warriors
With medals on their wrists
These sadness stricken gladiators
The world can not resist.
They fight their daily battles
Can I ask why are you staring?
Could it be perhaps my size?
Or is it cause I’ve got these planets swirling in my eyes?
Can you smell the smoke?
like the smell of summer nights we can barely remember,
sitting in circles around a glowing red light.
Do you hear the distant crackle?
I don’t know why I sit and wait for your attention or why my heart is so pure that I can’t actually admit how upset I get when I don’t talk to you. it sucks.
I looked outside the window. It wasn’t pretty or serene
Trees were bending, ducking for cover
and snow hit the ground with a scream.
Unsure, I asked, “Is this a blizzard?”
I looked outside the window. It wasn’t pretty or serene
Trees were bending, ducking for cover
and snow hit the ground with a scream.
Unsure, I asked, “Is this a blizzard?”
I try to spend the night with someone new
I’m on a repeat, always with you
All of the flames, yours
Is the guilt required when I’m out of all doors
I can feel your presence in my fingers
My biggest regret was falling for the wicked
Yearning for something he never intended to give
Usually unattached and unbothered was I
Never showing emotion but boy did I lie
It’s when you sit down and your ass already hurts.
The lamp shade remains crooked, but you put it off
Until tomorrow and you start falling into that place;
The place without walls, but filled with floaty feelings,
Here we are
You across from me
You’re back is all that I see
And she’s holding the trophy
The mistakes I have made are my own
i found the truth
in the tear-stained pages
where i spilled my heart and soul
i found lies
in the sickly sweet whispers
that i thought were made of gold
i found love
You beat me,
You yelled in my face,
You slammed my head into the walls.
You broke my soul,
it came crumbling down
today.
I always said that I'd forgive you,
but I haven't,
I tried
to save your heart.
I tried
to tell you that
he wasn't worth your time.
But, you didn't listen,
you rejected me.
Now your heart's all broken,
If I've fallen
and I can't get up
will you save me?
Will you help me to stay strong?
If I've fallen
off the edge of the earth
will you help me?
Will you tell me
I am like a hand grenade. Come one step too close and I pull the tab. I don't trust anyone to keep me safe. I'd much rather be the one to destroy myself.
You were my big brother though we weren't blood,
Through everything you always came through,
Now that you are gone my tears begin to flood,
Wished I could've said goodbye, who would've knew?
A rose by any other name
Has thorns that are just as sharp.
An ocean in any other day
Will drown you if you try to run.
You hold my hands
Wrap the gauze around my bruised knuckles,
Whisper me pieces of words
For my mind to create
Into stained-glass portraits.
The shocking electric pulse,
Flowing through my veins.
I’m charged and strong,
Ready to fly,
Through the driving rains.
I drop a single bolt,
It is not just one, there are many, one for each you
Wounds, Hurt
One for each absence
How much you? How much me? How much of us?
How much time and absence on this goodbye?
DISAPPOINTING when the only expectation that matter is to be loved
EMPTINESS caused for not listing
CRYING without reasonable reason
EVASION of the more simple things in live
all I can see is flashes in my head ,
Memories back when we were together
The world was so different.. for the first time,
We were just living for the hell of it,
Nothing to regret at all..
When I look at that face there is nothing in. This world more clear then what I see, this is someone who’s achieved nothing. A being so afraid to change it does nothing but stare.The embodiment of sadness and anxiety.
This is an ode to the boys who have hurt me.
I will not talk about the ones who came before the ninth grade,
You asked me to write for you,
So I wrote of a boy with stars in his eyes,
A bright soul, and his heart on his sleeve.
I wrote about how he died and how the light left his eyes
Your flame-seared name...
It burns...
When I learned of you,
Dear Flame,
The games you play,
The hearts you slay,
When I found this out
All thoughts of you
Just went away
You grip me in your hand
Holding onto my glass tight as if you knew it would be the last time you'd ever hold me.
With a smile on your face you throw me on the ground
Just to see if I'd break
and when I shattered
“We need to talk.”
White bay windows overlook the block.
We always closed the blinds up here.
Keeps the neighbors from shock.
I am a victim.
I am a victim of my own mind.
I hold myself captive.
I am also my own abuser.
For years I have abused myself
into being the victim of my own mind.
You can't hear me
You can't see me
You can't feel me
You have given birth to me
But you ignore me
I am alive!
Not your dearly departed
And yet still to you I am a failure, forever imperfect
This holiday is hollow,
These cheery ones are lost.
Everyone is happy,
It seems
Everyone
But me.
I always feel alone,
I was given a gift by someone I truly loved,
A little green turtle,
Something I could put on my key ring.
She had one too,
And it made our love grow stronger,
When you hurt
There is a malevolent force
One feeling you can feel
Which is all great remorse.
It was only once
Wait it became twice
The feeling was so good
It became thrice.
It happened twice.
I let myself believe.
I thought that I might matter.
But what I didn’t see.
I loved and lost,
And was broken eternally.
They asked me what are some different types of drugs
For me a drug isn't cocaine or pills it's a person
He is my drug
He is what I got addicted to
He is what makes me feel like i'm floating
The rain is my peace.
My eyes were the ocean.
My heart in ruins.
I shook violently as the droplets struck me.
.
The rain is my peace.,
For she cannot see my tears.
You watched me from my window and took out your anger on my body with your eyes.
~awatr
He shook me furiously and the thunder shook the house surrounding my fragile skeleton.
~awatr
I see you in every angry fight,
every bruise,
and in every goodbye that is never said.
~awatr
Her eyes reminded me of the old embers in the fireplace,
unkempt by my absent father.
~awatr
I spent every waking minute thinking of you.
And when I shut my eyes at 3am?
There you were again.
~awatr
I stole a friend, I took them hostage, I held them here to listen.
You didn't know me when I pulled my gun, you didn't know what I wanted.
You begged for your life, I begged for you to listen.
Acting out emotions may delve into extremities
Throwing knifes of truth
And bullets shredding thin
Ricochet
Ricochet
Ricochet
Someone save me from this pain,
It keeps me trapped inside my brain.
Someone save me from this hurt,
I’m not even worth a pot of dirt.
Oh, how I hate this day,
It reminds me of everyone I’ve lost.
It fills my soul with dread,
It breaks down my mind.
It reminds me that I’m alone,
Her face is broken with tears,
Her heart is shattered with grief.
Holding no sympathy, his face was blank.
His heart is cold and dark.
Love destroyed them,
Its scribbled in my head
Dripping with blood
Mess
That's what I am
A girl my past self would not be proud of
Me
A liar
A mess
Constantly depressed
And upset
Cuts on my thighs
These demons always plague me,
They keep me in constant torment.
Where could the angels be?
They aren’t stopping my demons.
The demons only get riled,
Everyone has demons,
But mine are different.
They feed on my pain,
And play with my sanity.
They jump from shoulder to shoulder,
Every time I close my eyes,
A star explodes inside my mind.
I see the ones I’ve lost,
They’ve all left,
At the highest cost.
This exploding star,
This demon in my head,
It fills me with hatred
And fuels my pain.
It denies me sanity,
And reminds me of my loss.
It plays back my memories,
My life is a black hole,
Sucking in everything around it.
Even light cannot escape my darkness,
Even those that I love cannot withstand it.
She was always by my side,
And she took away my pain.
She fixed all of my brokenness
That was trapped inside my brain.
She shone brighter than a star,
I can’t breathe right,
My fingers twitch uncontrollably,
People keep on speaking,
They act like I’m okay.
My brain feels like it’s breaking,
I am a tortured human soul,
The world would be better, If I go.
If I leave this world behind,
What is the place I’ll find?
I can’t live, with this pain,
The way you speak to me
only shows the way you speak to yourself.
-so please stop hurting the both of us
Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to not constantly Worry about what people think of me, to not wonder if that woman on the other side of the room - that hasn’t even looked in my direction - is laughing at me or laughing at the completely rand
You gave me love for one day
I see you constantly and what do you say?
Absolutely nothing
I am told this is the way you are
That you love to be loved and fail to give any
I wish she tasted like cherry
A hopeless, cliche, passion
So I don the cherry chapstick
For a bittersweet illusion
Her velvety lips are strawberry
I don't mind strawberry
If silence could kill...
The feeling of emptiness...
The pain of reverence...
That never-ending wait...
That unfelt bait...
I could live with an unspoken lie...
like clockwork
it struck when i was sixteen
i thought i would be safe
no one should have what i have
down there
find the common denominator
one second plus two seconds
My vision darkens.
My stomach churns.
My heart races.
You saw my pain but you used me anyway.
~awatr
Someone moves;
I flinch and instantly my mind is pulled back to how you were.
~awatr
The red petals
Remind of blood
Which is
What they will draw
When someone
Dares to come
Too close
Beautiful souls
Always have
The sharpest thorns
To protect
It's funny
How I convinced myself
That you weren't
Replacing me
Just making new friends
But my worst fears
Became true
Because of you
I became another girl
The new year has come
Why do people find this
A time to change
What's wrong with changing
In the middle of the year
Why can't a person change
Sooner
Wouldn't that
Save us
I see his face and her face, I see all the rest
But do you not see the hole in my chest?
I hear his voice and her voice, I hear theirs too
But darling, where's your voice? I only want you.
A bird who loves his cage and his view of the tree
Is still a bird in captivity
The loveliest of cells still has the power to derange
I wanted so desperately to be free
The tempting breezes to leave me be
I'm´ drownin´ in my head, I just can't stop thinking,Maybe soon this heart will stop, so the thoughts will too.You're mind is scarred
I wish
You really cared
Not the lies
You constantly
Told me
But the sad thing is
I still believe
Every single one
After all this time
The person
Who you
Confided in
Told your pain
Let them into
Your heart
Those people
Were the ones
We thought
Wouldn't hurt us
In the end
They all do
it's a long and lonely mile home from your door
hold me in your arms just once more
its a long and lonely mile to walk till daylight comes
and i fear your smile's still here and it's tearing me apart
Just a reconnection. Please, it is all I ask.
Just one spark could set ablaze our past.
We could be something again.
But this time, we’ll last.
To hurt, to love, to live.
It’s all part of life right?
But what is this so called thing “life”?
we all compare things and say “that’s life”
what is life? Is it the fact that we breath. Is it that we hurt?
"Hey. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"What's wrong?"
I'm not quite sure how to answer that.
Do I believe something is wrong with me?
Depends on the day, time, and who's asking.
"Somewhere", spoke the grey lips in the wall.Somewhere before sunrise,before the first bird crows to dawnand the apathetic are yet to uncurlthe grit that gathers like dustbetween the fold of shallow eyes.
Who are you?
I do not know you.
I do not know you vile ways,The way you take pleasure in wounding me so.
there is another thing that I cant unseemy brother smilewhen he used to see me
he used to smilebut now its clouds
I hurt him so muchI cant even begin to describe what he could feel
I hope nobody trusts you againlike I did you
I pray you never hurt another personlike you did me
You carved into my soulAnd have taken peicesThey will never grow back
I saw a crowd in front of me
And their dreadful action
I had no voice
They were pressing me hard
They exploit me, Break me
I feel suffocate to the depth
Fire was covering my soul
No one wants to be friends with the depressed kid
Or the one with crippling anxiety
That poor child who was traumatized, but
Everyone steps away when she needs help
When the evil
Dark
At that moment,
I let you go.
I felt my heart let you go.
And it was the most refreshing feeling I have ever felt.
I still love you -
But I'm not your prisoner.
and I never will be again.
Goodmorning honey, so they say
distant at heart.. but close at screws
so vivid you see, you without me
things missed for things misused
selfless laws governed me
troubled, shrubbed up with worry
I find you all so funny. How easy you can play with my heart. I’ve been through so many boys.
Not sex but experiencing what it truly means to love someone. You all lie. Perhaps it’s my fault.
I find you all so funny. How easy you can play with my heart. I’ve been through so many boys.
Not sex but experiencing what it truly means to love someone. You all lie. Perhaps it’s my fault.
You’ve been waiting for this moment
You swallow your pride and dignity
You confess everything you’ve been wanting to say
Just for a reply that he doesn’t feel the same way
Time stops
Late at night, the broken spirits sit on barstools, hunched over the counter like question marks
They ponder their place in this world
They drown their sorrows in bourbon to escape the outer flood attempting to engulf them
I hurt from a pain I can’t find
and I bleed from the blow
I don’t remember.
I miss the memories
I never made
and I long for the love
Lonely cage
lonely world
lonely someone
lonely girl
the hunter spotted
his naive prey
he lick his chops
and makes his way
“because I love you”, he says with a grin
Flowers can't grow without water,
Love can't grow without guidance.
Flowers can't grow with stress,
Love can't grow with hate.
Flowers bloom and die,
You don't love me.You want to love mebut You don't love me.
I don't know why I helpI'm the one who needs helpYou don't ask for helpBut I need to help.
When tragedies happen
we often think, "it didn't happen to me,
So it doesn't matter as much"
we think we are a safe distance from the violence.
That's what they want us to think.
The Question
September 10, 2018 ~ Monday
I came to get help
Not to get hurt
And every time you make a move
tiptaptiptap
fingers on the table
rhythmless and bland,
we cut off the cable.
tiptaptiptap
rain on the window
erratic and soothing,
we watched the world go.
tiptaptiptap
Meetig first time,
Exciting,
Meet halfway,
Compromising.
Get there before you do,
Mind starts wandering,
Think what to say,
Want to appear interesting.
You turn up,
waves of desire.
stormy days and his ocean eyes,
and a world of hurt
being left to decipher
what I did I did wrong,
what put me so far away
from what I wanted
even after I wrote you a song
Gravitating backwards she declines,Liquefying to earth's compression's,Ruined but intertwined,Cannot bypass innocent transgression.
Undescribable pain,
Writhing hands and feet,
Radiating ove ones self,
Yet it feels like nothing.
Crying with no tears,
Clawing at the flesh,
Yet it comes from within,
We've been down this road before.
Each time it hurts a little more.
I really don't know WHAT you want from me.
When we are doing good, WHY won't you let it be?
I KNOW that you love me, don't say that you don't...
There's nothing more I'd like to do,
then snuggle in close and fall asleep with you..
I really want to call you...
& tell you I still care...
But I know you won't say it back....
& I don't think it's fair..
There's a place for everything and everything in its place..
Well, where do I put the memories of the past I can't erase?
FOR: My Ex Now, but My Love ONE 4ever.. J.G. (*BTW, MOST of poems are about him....)
I'm glad you took everything that would remind me of you..
Cause I don't want to remember anything we went through.
the makeshift lines
of the devil's eyes
are lurking in the room
his breath
lingering on my skin
I don't want to do this again.
the first time I met him
I come from blurry images that look back at me from the mirror
I say I'm beautiful but harsh words from the past hit me like a pair of
Anvils weighing down on me
Bulying hurts and lays skin deep
We humans, we stand united.
We humans, we stand so strong.
But some rights we are denied and
We're told we do not belong.
Love,
when I was young,
i was told I would fall in love,
why didn’t you tell me,
how much it would fucking hurt.
you say i used you
but i discovered you
discovering me
you say i hurt you
but you hurt me
hurting you
you say i used you
but i confused you
confusing me
you say i loved you
I am shattered glass
I am shards covering the floor
Fools throw Elmers glue at me
I stare in disbelief
Elmer's glue
I am shattered glass
I am shards covering the floor
Fools throw Elmers glue at me
I stare in disbelief
Elmer's glue
O Sis, could I love thee like no other.
For before my young eyes only squinted,
A face inoffensive to our mother.
I was, but a statue: black and minted.
Did not my ears think or care to listen
"uncle na!" I'd yell out, and jumped on to your back
people would stare and maybe smile
to know she had a dad
adopted (maybe) or step-parent from birth
either way, she's happy
She sits still, her voice cracking from the fear
of the hideous creature before her. Any slight movement and she will
be killed slowly and painfully. The girl grows rather querulous waiting
You'd think lying here, my breath escaping
That I'm scared
I've tried pills
Here I sit
Both Wrists Slit
I think I need my stomach pumped
I'm not scared
I hear someone knocking
I keep a turtle in my pocket,
It clinks against a key.
Both are deadly weapons,
But only when used on me.
They took away the darkness,
You were always struggling
The one who was always in pain
But you were the only one
Who could make me feel okay
You were always indecisive
Sweat,
I feel it dripping down, wet.
Heavy breathing
I close my eyes, hoping it’s just me dreaming.
Softly touches me,
I hold him tightly...
Trapped,
Whatever it may be
The person who misses it is not me,
But the one who gave it away.
-G
Swinging on a flower petal, I
Wrap my legs around it’s thighs and cry
Welted and darkened stares
Lost in the huge world of Anywhere.
Across the ocean I sat alone
On a petal rested and untold,
I close my eyes and take a step
Right, left, right, left
My hand placed gently, my hip grasped
My right leg traps with the other,
My mind goes to rest
Right left right right
I was in love with you before even knowing your existence.In your eyes I saw the meaning of love when you first looked at me. And I was wondering how? And why Me?
When I was a kidI always had this weird obsession with band-aidsThey're as close as I could get to the stickersMy parents wouldn't buy me
To forget would be a blessing,
to remember, a curse. Remember how he held my shoulders down
covered my screams with a sweaty palm, ripping
all pride from my body. I felt rage as he plunged through my body,
On cold nights like these
Where I’m happy with
People in my lifeAnd without you in sight
I can’t help but wonder
How did you turn out
I heard something today...
I heard that a dead flower is not dead until it's pedals are nothing but ash.
Do I know what this means? Maybe.
They are lost and scared
But, nobody has cared
We were wrong
They thought they just didn't belong
They put on a mask
They try to act naturally
White grass
Gray ground
Yellow flowers all around
Wide eyes
Head down
Hid behind a small frown
One hand
You’d take
Try not to be back late
Brown clouds
Orange sky
A quarter of years I know you,
From day one you showed me your love is true.
You swore that you’ll bring me stars
I believed you and til now you didn’t cause me scar
These thoughts that lingers in my head I cannot explain
Only These thoughts are encrypted by him himself
He who’s not powerful or mighty
But me who’s brittle and broken
I was taught to free my mind
I was taught to leave my pain behind
I was taught to travel to a different time
Without ever leaving my room behind
I was taught to be free
In which it helped with my anxiety
You used to be my comforter,
Now you are my tormentor.
You used to be my guardian,
Now you are my warden.
You used to be my protector,
Now all you do is hover.
you pulled me out of the fire my mind was in
you became the water that soothed my burns
my youth relished in the enjoyment of no more burning
you had the tender touch that became the bandaids to my cuts
I thought about it a lot,you know. I thought about howyou would curl into my chest on thosecold, crispnights full of stars. A way ofsaying "I love you", but withoutthe sound, the verbal reassurance.
You have a beautiful smile, thats what you said.
I laughed it off as just pretend.
A month then passed and you were there,
Right beside me combing my hair.
Behind my ear in a loving way,
Bang, Bang.
You Shot Me Down.
You broke my heart and let me drown.
You lost sight of what we had.
You didnt care if it hurt so bad.
We Fell In Love In A Hopeless Place.
Enid Ibarra
Human: A Lesson
When I was fourteen, I pressed my hand against
A stranger’s chest and learned that a heart
Has four chambers and cannot feel
I once met a man who introduced me to the different sides of love.
He dyed his hair a different color every other week
and bound his chest so that no one would question his authority.
I should have known the minute they started treating me different
Well, now I'm all grown and I'm getting thrown out of my ass
Forced to be all on my own, stuck with nowhere to call home
I open the internet
Go to your page
Instantly re-read all the works
You've recently done
Commiting them all to memory
Before you hide
Them all away.
Hide your true feelings
You said some things.
Don’t hide behind a screen
Say what you really mean
Face to face
To the person you seem
Too shy to answer
Why do we do this stupid little dance?
It's very well coordinated and I know the steps by heart
But you don't seem to understand that with each twist and turn we destroy what we have
It's broken down into simple steps
Where do I begin?
How do you tell a tale so weathered yet so fresh?
So foreign yet familiar.
Your palm that once warmed my thin fingers
My heart has been ripped apart by your words your seething lies I denied because my love for you made me blind. Where is the light? You laugh at me as your darkness chokes me smothers the light that I wish would come back.
You say you need me
you want to be with me
you love me
or do you
But... will you love me
when I’m awake at 11pm,
and 1:30 am, AND 3 am
Shaking, crying
rocking back and forth
I wish this wasn’t something in my life
But when someone else does it, it becomes my strife.
You crack another can open; I feel it cut into my soul.
I won’t keep the sorrow unspoken; dying must be your goal.
i spend my days now trying to forget your voice,
the same voice that made the my skin stand tall,
the same voice that told me everything would be okay,
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He was a traveller
Someone I couldn't compel
To stay a little longer
Oh how beautifully
He seeped through my skin
Something more warmer
Than a summer morning's sun
The way my body responded
Darling
I am so broke
And dead
That we dont even
Fit together
When we meet
Under the bed sheets
Hidden in the dark
Trying to find
What's lost
Trying to fix
What's ruined
New Year’s with my family,
Save one member.
Valentine’s with my family,
Save one member.
Easter with my family,
Save one member.
Spring Break with my family,
Save one member.
Dear,
My mother’s ex-boyfriend of two years,
My biological father left when I was six
And ever since then, I've been looking for someone to fix
“It’s okay.”
I can still feel it.
The way your lips touched mine.
Without meaning.
Without feelings.
I missed them.
Chin up soldier
For love is war
Because our hearts and mind can not align
Is this what we need?
Love is war
Is there somebody that could save me?
From myself.
From everyone else.
From those that seek to tear me apart.
From my heart that craves to be loved so bad.
Hope is not a fuzzy feeling.
Hope is not rainbows and butterflies and cupcakes.
Hope is not soft and sweet relief.
Hope is knowing that you can survive
You have this huge control over my body and emotions. I know that you find pleasure in hurting me. Again after again, after again. Why do I let you do these things to me...
It is all my fault... I should have done the things you asked... I would not have lost you like I did...
Peer pressure something everyone deals with... right? But in some ways, it was more drastic for me... Does it make you feel better getting a look at my bare skin? Soft, smooth with many insecurities.
That song
It’s playing again
Evoking memories
Memories best left untouched
But still, I listen to it
I let it play
I came home that night smelling of rain and cigarette smoke and teenage love so deep, set into my pores like the ink on my skin.
The dagger in my heart,
It twists,
Alas, My love for you has only hurt me.
I should have known better
Than To fall in love with
Nothing less than a prince
Who saw himself as little more than a pig.
I have seen into the light,
For so long I never had it in me to stand upright,
I was always so pathetic,
I never looked in the mirror as my own worst critic,
It was always up to me,
Come in, sweet friend!
Speak to me in calm whispers as I study the kindness in your heart.
Your brown eyes fade from my memory as you slip the knife into my back.
I learn there is none.
I am among the unseen
And you are the light that stands before me.
As I close my eyes to sense it,
But it never reaches me.
I am among the unheard
And you are the voice that echoes so faintly.
The sky is so empty,
So gray and cold,
So barren and wasted.
Clouds fill the air
But nothing more.
Scenes of despair and darkness.
Sometimes a bird
Breaks the moment;
This little bottle of chardonnay;
My escape, my stimulation. And you
My every motivation, unending infatuation.
Each glass with every momentous sip
The taste of grapes dance on the edge of my tongue,
Time waits for no one
And I stand still, frozen,
Unable to keep up.
I chase and chase,
Yet the seconds speed up.
Round and round, the seconds speed up.
Minute by minute, the distance widens.
You forsake me for another
And leave me cold and lonely.
You torture me with your eyes,
They greet me yet they ignore me.
You taunt me with your smile,
It sends comfort but mocks me.
When you smile your smile
It takes me away from this reality.
And when I see those eyes,
I'm suspended in a life-like fantasy.
Speak out a fresh breath of air;
Orchestrate a conversation for me
I didn't mean to lead you astray;
I'm weak, as weak as anyone or anything can humanly be.
But the passion that melts me inside is for you.
I lay besides an emptiness that is only meant to be occupied by you,
Even though you tore my heart in two
I'm still in love with you.
And if one day I can love someone else,
I'll have forgiven you
And I've learned to respect myself.
When I finally learn to let this go
are you the reason i left?
are you the reason i dropped everything?
are you the reason my heart was shattered?
yes you are
you ripped my heart out of my chest
you put it through a blender
You told me you loved me
You told me that you cared
But what we did to sarah…
I guess this is only fair
You always kept me hidden
I thought you meant it when you said forever
you didn’t
it feels just like bleeding
like you’re slowly dying
and as you are crying,
hiding, alone at night
you and that fearsome thing,
praying that you could feel something
other than pure, plain sadness
Walls back up
Don't hurt me again
Do I let you in
Let you win?
You don't care
And yet I do
Let me stop
Caring for you
Walls up
Guard too
Protecting myself
I am constantly trying to remain sane but the status of
our relationship is driving me over the edge
or maybe i am already over the edge and the breeze of
light came from the window
and fell on my arm
the other day
it felt a lot like you
warming me from the inside out
wrapping me in peace and contentment
I watch the world pass by
Your mind feeds you thoughts that all pile up into your stomachand become the apple seed that sucks away your nourishment and only gets stronger as it grows and grows
Attracted to your glimmering mirage,
blind to the consequences.
Sweet poison dripping from your lips,
numbing my senses.
[I've never been one for screaming. But when something hurts deeply, I chastise for hours -- albeit at a normal volume.]
These instincts betray me.
The good nature I try to uphold
You see
It wasnt always this way
when the time passed it brought colors
for sometime its only gifted grey
its a mindset they say
trapped in my own behavior
the devil next door
A break up is something couples dread the most.
It is something couples avoid or else they'll feel lost.
Our significant other is the one that makes us whole.
I'm being used and I know it.
Still, I let them do it.
They need me for their purpose and I can feel it.
Still, I let them continue it.
It was childish...
It was so immature...
I knew it but I didn't really believe when you said you would cut me off forever...
I cannot wear the red blouse.
Lines that defined my curves taunted my eyes
Blurry tears dripping as I ran faster into dusk
To fit into a teenage concept of “sex appeal”
It's funny i ever thought we would someday be together
Maybe even grow old together
Even when we were under the weather
We would make each other feel better
My Mother is the greatest actress I know
She's able to portray the "perfect" wife when she's around friends because they're all BFFS
She is a volunteer junkie because she cares that damn much
I'm paralyzed.Stuck in these feelingsstuck in my head.It's too late for treatment,I'm already dead.I'v
Leave me alone!
I am not your property,
I am not your slave
Dont climb on top of me!
Dont hold me down,
Dont scream in my face
Leave me to cry alone
Why wont you please leave this place?!
See, just day before yesterday
We were in love
He'd smile when he saw me
Hold me close
Too scared to drop me
See, that's how it used to be
Still my best friend
My number one shoulder
To the one who doesn’t feel like their enough,
or worth it,
or accepted.
Not beautiful,
Or enough,
Or loved.
I have a secret to tell you.
It isn’t whispered but shouted.
Dear Death,
I used to hate you.
Actually, hate is an understatement.
But over time, I have come to be your biggest pupil.
You possess every trait one would say a teacher should have.
maybe you're not ready yet.ready for the lies.ready for the hurt.ready for"love". oh my sweet darling, love is when you are readyto love yourself because we may lieto ourselves,we may hurt ourselves but the bravest thing we can dois love ourselves
Dear April-man,
Do you know
Why
April is the cruelest month?
I do.
Because it is when you took me
In your arms
In your bed
And I let you.
I let you.
Dear Dad, Your sins have been forgiven by my God above. For the sins you’ve made and for the hurt that you have done to the child you say you love. For every time you’ve raised your hand to strike me down.
To someone that loved me,
Love is a venus flytrap,
Oh so alluring.
It is wildly free,
Yet it leaves me burning.
I think the reason we cry when we are just that happy,
is because we are afraid to lose something,
that is so rare to find . . .
or at least that's what I do with you.
My words are lost tonight.
They are in your mouth,
Because you always seem to win the arguments.
You can either trick her into thinking your special
Or
You can threaten to leave her
Which one would you rather kill her with?
You are the blood in my veins,
The only way I would let us part,
Is if I cut my skin and let you out.
I feel like I'm drowning in your words and every time I open my mouth to breath, I lose more air.
You told the bird you don't like the way it sits on my wrist.
You don't like how it would permanently stay.
You don't like its meaning.
And to make you happy the bird would have to sacrifice its own life in pain.
You had me fooled to think that you were right about everything.
But no you were trying to convince me to your side.
Or at least the side you thought was right.
We are all wrong in different ways.
Pain
Something we all endure
Something we all hate
People don’t like pain
Neither on the inside nor out
Pain
I know it has been hard
I know that I have failed
I know that I have hurt you
And I know that you have been disappointed
But thank you for believing
Thank you for caring
Thank you for wondering
Dear Mom,
Or Pam, I suppose.
Enabling the lowest of my lows.
Do you remember me? Is it the memory or the idea?
Cheap wonder bread and ham, cool kids who couldn't care less.
dear nicholas and twila,
when i was so much younger
i was sad and often cried
i always felt alone
no matter how hard i tried
Seventeen.
First job.
A boy named "Percy"
Or so his name tag said.
Months went by.
Text message after text message.
Snapchat after Snapchat.
Dating.
Dating.
Dating.
Acting okay.
Asking for forgiveness,
Always pretending.
Broken heart.
Bridges burnt.
Baby, wait please.
Crying for hours.
Cutting off everyone.
Can you ever forgive me?
Dear Katherine,
My friend. My love. My life.
It’s was a new year.
I was starting over.
Not sure who to trust.
Not sure where to go.
Then I saw you.
Recognized your face.
Fall to the ground,
my falling leaves
and branches that home you.
You were once pretty things
floating above the earth
in your vibrant green.
Yet devils and demons have had their way
Dear ex lover,
I’ve given up on complicated introductions and reiterations of you in my mind.
It’s time I freed myself from your grasp.
You should know I no longer care.
Dear you,
If I could rearrange the hands of time
I'd pray to God that this time, I'd find the strength to spite you.
I'd stop myself--
from letting you engrave yourself in my smile.
Dear you,
Something that is not grey
Is black and white, of course.
Like right and wrong
And bitter and sweet.
A contradiction of "no other color,"
Could only be pain.
Our friend and enemy:
Life with No words
did you actually think it didn't hurt
you bottle up everything that you want to blurt
People flounce pass you not noticing
but you, you are not focusing
so kind hearted, so naive
Dear Dad,
How do you feel at 40 years old
That you diddn't see your daughter grow up
Now shes all grown
Im 18 now and lived my whole life without you
Going to college now
Forgetting about you
Dear Fate,
Since the day I was born
exposed to the empty canvas called life,
that I was never in control of,
we’ve been playing each other.
Locked in a stalemate.
I play as the mighty king;
1/30/18
Dear mom,
I couldn’t understand why…
Why were you so uptight with me.
Why were you not patient with me.
Why were you never home with me.
Dear ex-lover,
everyone is afraid something. Some are afraid of the dark, spiders, or even falling in love.
The day I left was the hardest day of my life
Looking into your eyes killed me
Blank, expressionless, emotionless
It was your decision to play the wife.
I've been so angry at you for what you did
They say it's beautiful
They say it's gorgeous
Until they've touched the thorns
They've been hurt by the pretty rose
Why does it bring pain?
They say I'm beautiful
They say I'm gorgeous
Hey Future.
Did you know that this would happen to me?
That this kind of emotional and physical hurt
would slowly crash down on me
On that day -
And then
It all
Fell Apart
Just as quickly as it had become,
It disintegrated into his fingers
And all she could do was stare at him,
A haphazard mix of fear, and pain, and betrayal
to my best friend,
call it whatever you want
whatever this was
it was us
two stubborn teens stuck
in this cycle
going back and forth
People don’t understand that words can be strong and once they are said, they can’t be taken
back despite how many apologies are made.
BITCH That is what you called me, saying it so harshly like I committed adultery. BITCH When I do not obey to the regulations and submissiveness of a man, saying you love me, calling me baby but once I step out of the lines that you have painted.
Her Storm screams pain of something most won't understand, It's Storm of sorrow, belligerent pain. Rain is a new phase. Things are washed away and starts anew... untill the next passionate rage.
The coldness you would put me through would make me appreciate the warmth you straightened me with
You thought i would bend
You thought i would yearn for your approval as i did as a child
You were the sweetest thing to hurt me
Draped in the fur of sheep, disguised as the devil
I trusted you, as you conjured pretty promises you’d soon break
When I looked at you, I saw your upmost potential
My mistake.
Dear boy,
You're not a man.
A man does not hurt women
A man does not manipulate
A man does not use social media platforms to harrass an individual
A man does not make me say #MeToo
A man loves women
I didn’t mean to choose this.
I didn’t ask to feel like this.
But I do.
I want to feel like normal people do, but I realized that I just cannot.
I needn’t be
The chains that
Bind you so
Alas I fear I’ve
Unknowingly
Become your
Keeper
I don't have scars
I've never felt the tension
and the sweet release
a surprise so pure
and innocent
Breaking the surface
raw, primal pain
sharp breaths
Tangy, coppery
So why'd you do it?
What made you think it was okay to blow it?
We spent so long patching up the things that didn't belong
And now it turns out that it was you all along
I spent so long trying to make things right
Someone once told me
My life wasn’t worth living
That in the end I will be so lonely
Asking for help or begging my homies
Dancing away my stress
Singing my heart
Acting as if
Dear,AFFLICTION
I’m GLOWING UP and GROWING UP.
That may upset most, and make many envy.
Some may say “oh she’s acting new” or “she think she pretty”
Never that honey.
Honestly, this has always been there.
Dear You,
This is my least favorite part of my day.
I can never escape her eyes.
And my body can never escape her judgments.
"Bent, broken, barbed"
That's all she seems to say as her nails
To the people who have hurt me
Thank you.
To the boy who thought I was too fat.
To the girl who thought I was strange.
when you hurt me
you seem to forget
that with every punch
with every cut
with every gash
with every slap
you are just
making tears fall
that will water a tree
Young girl, 13
You just know you’re playing your cards right
Your parents don’t know
That you snuck out last night
Swore you were just protecting your friend
My stomach tied in knots, my heart beating fast. I'm wondering how long this feeling is going to last. I'm scared.
i feel you in my
bones
you are the breath caught
in my lungs
and running through
my veins
and maybe thats why
i find myself
running
the blade across my
When you look in my phone.
There is something lost in one simple glance;
The existence that defines me.
A piece of me that I couldn't bury at birth.
Photos of my loved ones overflow the drive,
"Suicide is not an option"
I hear my therapist say,
She smiles wryly
And I want to scream.
"Suicide is a coward's way out"
She continues,
I do not understand
She thinks this is a fact?
I try to love you,
But I can’t.
I try to accept you,
But it is impossible.
They’ve told me to caress you,
But I only have blades.
They’ve told me to take care of you,
Hey there dad do you remember me?
I’m your daughter, the one you raised but never come and see.
I remember when I was growing up you would’ve never left my side.
Dear Heartbreaker,
I think of you every now and then
Just when I’ve forgot
You’re on my mind again
There are no remedies
For all these memories
I can’t forget
And I don’t regret
Bulletproof, she's just something you can't break through
Cold as ice, don't get too close or you'll get frost bite
She's fine china, with a wall around her you'll never scale
This boy is just a young kid tryna make it out the hood.
In this generation society is not good,
people just need to get it understood.
He’s not doing great when he’s really hurting
Dark place
No pieces to fit
Thinking am I good enough
Who shall I be
Either too big or too small
Only odd one of them all
Odd meaning being different
Being different meaning odd
Dearest Vincent
I'll never understand how...
I'll never understand how you could do it.
Your heart was so big, never meant for mortal men
You loved too much for us to understand.
Find my peace of mind,
the meaning of its bind,
I keep searching through the mine
with no success I have yet to find.
Open up your eyes,
seek past all the lies,
break all of those ties
Hello motherHello brotherHello sunflower Hello rush hour Hello proud boyH
Rotten Apples
Rotten Apples
I’m the apple at the bottom of the tree
I smoke a joint by myself I married Mr. Lonely
I got boogers in my nose
I got cheese between my toes
Rotten Apples
White and fluffy, soaring so high I am but a cloud floating in the sky There is no breeze to wake the trees And stir the air and the clouds like me The sun is so bright yet it doesn’t burn For I am simply water that took a turn Nothing is quite s
And there was a simple time
Much unlike now
Whereas she who cried
Was surrounded by people
Then came along something that
Suffocated her mind and body
Left her for dead and sung deeply
A beautiful creature
With a mane full of snow
Silently sits
Though she always knows
In the dark nights
When no one is near
He comes
The only one to hear
Why do people feel the need to hurt one another?We should all love one another. Why do people feel the need to stab each other in the back?Eventually, someone will have enough and crack. Why do people feel the need to make their peers feel like tr
Dear Dayja,
Why do you float on strangers' opinions of your success
When your own thoughts determine how you progress
You've been through the fire
When lust became his desire
To my ex-lover,
You were my first real love,
My first serious relationship.
You taught me how to be in a relationship,
How to love,
How to be compassionate,
How to commit.
You taught me to fear
You taught me to worry
You taught me fake love
You taught me to drink away the pain
You taught me I was ugly and worthless
I have trusted you with all my own,
you leave me laying all alone.
I cannot bear to keep in mind
what you did to your own kind.
I did nothing wrong,
but you think I caused it all.
I wish not to be forgotten
Or my seemingly numb heart
Because of the things I’ve said
But did not meant
And my dry voice
Pain is only a 4 letter word but it's the one most often felt
I feel it in my chest, see it in my dreams
I can't escape this feeling
No amount of time could give me any healing
Dear old soul,
You can not see it clear,
But you are my biggest fear.
You have hurt me with your lies,
And all your "Oh babe lets compromise"
You have stolen my sanity for your own sake.
We may have all gone through nights, when we couldn’t sleepThoughts about the ex just wouldn’t make us sleepWhy we thought about our ex even after we apart?Why I am so obsessed with my own past.....
I fake a smile and say i am okayI think life would be easier in that waySick of a smile that i fake But that all i got from a heart ache
Dear bully Is there something wrong with me?I beg you please stop bullying me Telling me that i am fat Does it make you non-fat?
Sometimes memories are better forgotten.Sometimes they’re not,But some memories are harder to bear,Because in the end all happiness gets disappear.
I reside in a nest of twigs
There is a spot on the bed
Next to you
My nest
snaps under my weight
The twigs
They punture my back
You are worlds away
And I
Because I loved you,
I became, not one, but two identities
One day I would cling to your arms like a newborn baby clinging onto the breast of his mother,
while he sucked the life that was given to him
I just want to feel like someone cares about me. It's the little things, like a goodnight or good morning text or a compliment out of nowhere.
I'd do anything you'd ask me to, because I love you...
Although, I asked for nothing in return;
But, for your love too...
Who is she! Why is she texting you?!
What does she want! Give me all your passcodes.
I had no other way to
describe to you my pain
I don't think you will
ever be able to fully understand
but I can try my best.
This pain that I have in
my bones is
I drank the poison,
And became addicted.
You warned me to ease off of it,
Then you went and flipped it.
You became addicted to my addiction.
But when I lost my supply,
You made sure I got high,
What good is it to first love you
When love was never dealt?
Why should I seek to put you first
If the same has not been felt?
But who am I to make that call,
And desire to receive,
"I don't want you to linger around" he says.
"Right after the bell, come to the bus."
Confused I ask him why I shouldn't.
"Because I love you, without me,
you can't have fun"
Because I Love You
Doesn't mean you can hurt me
Because I Love You
Doesn't mean you can desert me
Because I Love You
Doesn't mean you're not supposed to care
Because I Love You
smoke cough smoke cough
keep choking on your lungs love
chest pain chest pain going about another day
you keep moving but barely awake
not listening to a word anyone says
smoke cough smoke cough
You love me, I sit in my room playing games. You tell me you love me.
I love you, I sit at my desk in my room playing games. You tell me you love me.
You love me, I sit on my bed in my room playing games. You tell me you hate me.
Every time we communicateThere is no positivityThere's things that you put downThat I think are greatConversations are dullThey drain meWhile the fill you upTear me downWhile they bring you upShatter my heartWhile they toughen yours upI can't take
The most favorable flowers,
Snipped from their leaves,
Snipped from their roots
I want to hold you,
I cannot seem to let go.
He is a hollow shell found on empty beaches
You try to get a hold of him, and he breaks in pieces
His words are venom but his eyes are tears
When we moved from Missouri to Oklahoma state We did not have a place of our own on that dateAnd so some local church members offered their guest house to us on a loan
You were the first, the first man I loved, the first to hold me in your arms and make me feel like nothing could go wrong. The first to look at me like I was perfect, the first to make me feel truly safe. But You taught me something too.
They had me…
They had me…
They had me on my knees… begging for me to return back
Begging to redo my shameful mistake
To redo my past
To redo the few minutes that I had… to regain their trust.
Dear Beautiful,
You.
Yes, you.
You are loved.
You are perfect.
You are beautiful.
In our society
People are so quick to judge
Based on what's seen on the outside
In the depths of the reflected light
You can catch a glimpse, a girls' shadow
It's a sight you can't overlook
With her eyes so hollow and haunted
Concealing within a ghastly narrative
I hope you forgive me after I say this.
Your capacity of love is nonexsistent.
You only do whats convenient for you.
So you do what you have to .
But what about me?
Why couldn't you see ?
There's a smile on your face
But I know that you're in pain
Your silent tears leave no trace
But things just aren't quite the same, and
There's no reason for you to hide
Because I love you I listened to you, Because I love you I cared about you a little too much I lost my self in the process of showing you my love, in
Because I Love You
I protected you from bullies since we were little.
"Crybaby" "Loser" "Whiny" "Weak"
They called you all this and more, but I stopped it
Because I Love You.
Classes separated and we drift,
I lost my life to a familiar face,
He went by the name, Past.
He shot me down with bitter memories.
He poisoned me with lies.
I can feel that it's going to rain
Yet I don't reach for an umbrella
It's the calm before the storm that I really love
Yet our storm has already happened
And now it's the after affects that haunt me
Love is a beautiful thing, when done right
Love can be amazing, without all the fights
You should always be happy, never sad
Never tell your partner things you'll regret, just 'cuz your mad
It starts with an inkling
A whisper of a secret that turns into a shout in your brain
As the voice learns how vocal chords work better together
Even when they are all raw from restraining
Love is pain
Love is kind
Love is honestly a waste of time
there's no true love's kiss
or a frog turned prince
because love is absent in today's kids
Love is hurt
Love is cries
You see it was these long nights in the winter
I found out in the fall
We're nearly past the aftermath the breaking point of it all
Because I love you I thought it was okay,
Because I love you I left it all at bay,
Because I love you I let it all happen,
Because I love you I thought I was in a haven,
There's not enough rain
In the world to wash
Away the hurt and pain
Rain so pure, so clean is
Muddied almost instantly
The world leaves an indelible mark on all it touches
All I know is that it hurts..
Feeling unwanted and out of place..and I can't tell which is worse
I should be more passive, I should just look behind it
But the more I'm ignored, the more I'm reminded...
Love
What is this mysterious emotion that everyone feels
A deceptive commutative property
In Self discovery
I gotta find who I am
despair causes friction. yes, hurt causes tension.
these years got me feeling undriven. make it past these years. work hard.
Giving, giving, giving, giving, giving, no take
I thought that just for once, my heart would catch a break
Break as in rest, but instead the shit shattered
What do I do now?
You're slipping from me, fading
And a part of me somehow
Just watches as you call out to me
Screaming to follow you
Screaming to grab onto your hand
I will not start with once upon a time.
This is not past tense.
This is now.
Every day.
Every second. Every minute.
Looking in the looking glass,
She melted the sun,
He took away the moon.
She plucked the stars from the sky,
He organized them into neat piles.
She painted the roses white,
He ran them over with his truck.
I saw you todayAnd my heart flipped out of my chestLater that night I couldn't rest.Months after getting over youThere I was back in your graspAnd now I reminisce about our past.
with eager eyes and a hopeful heart i look up to you, seeing only but the man of my dreams. the sun would come from behind your head, giving you a halo that could have only been worn by you, my love.
The years passed so swiftly,
And swiftly so too did I fall in love,
My only life’s desire for you to embrace me,
Masks hide the face from everything, with many shapesColors, and ShadesA mask of Purple hides my depressionA mask of Red hides my angerA mask of Pink hides my feeling of love.
Bound by blood,
This wicked hate
This unsettling darkness,
This thing that only we know about.
Trapped by fears,
We shiver in the cold.
No one knowing what we hold.
This is the kind of love story that no one warned you about. This isn't the happily ever after kind of story. This is an incomplete sentence. The lonely page ripped out of the book.
Black hearts bleed red
I would know
For there is a sword in mine
It glistens ike embers when I turn to the sun
And it's red blood twinkles as it drips
As if the drops are falling stars
She didn't know why
Her anti-suicide talks
Wouldn't work on her.
Do you remember the night that guy told you that you were the eighth wonder of the world? Why can’t you see yourself like that? Why do you insist on repeating the words of the past in your head countless times a day?
I know you don't want to talk to me because you need to breathe
but I'm restless without you
they say the only ones up at 4am are the loved and the lonely
but I'm broken
You see
Go ahead and talk you shit
see if I will care
all dem bitches spreadin shit that isn't even real
bitch, whore, fake as fuck!
you say I'm the slut??
"I sleep around" and "I'm fucking guys"
What's it like to be hurt
The feeling isn't what we usually crave
Neither of two sides of a fight wins
The whole world feels like it's about to end
The adrenalin being ruhsed into the veins increases
My childhood's full of stories--
Happy endings and of kings:
Of fairy-tales where love prevails
And princes give me wings...
I knew that prince was coming,
But I couldn't stand the wait;
The stitched wound was ripped open The heart bledIt ached like an earthquakeThat didnt seem to end Breaths waverBody shakes Please save herBefore she breaks
And my heart pulsed-
hard and fast
against my unmarred chest
because your love
was the drug to end all drugs
And that is why-
it's so poisonous.
There is a voice in the back of my skull that screams for release,
That can only be found in a razor blade, or between your lips.
If I pick and prod at my flesh enough I realize soon enough I can't feel anything,
Little flower.
Planted in the concrete, you tried to grow.
It's not your fault.
There are one hundred million people trying just like you.
Crying, weeping, praying..
Please know you are more then they made you.
Call them mean names.
Tease them around.
Make them jealous.
Spread rumors to everyone in town.
Say sorry after doing all of the above.
Hold their hand.
Take them on dates.
Perhaps
we are all blind sometimes.
Our vision becomes shrouded in the pitch-black
darkness of our own rotten words.
Our blood turns cold, emerald with envy.
I have advice for whoever is listening. It’s not very good but I’ill try my best. I hate it when a book ends and I hate it when I accidently forget to replace the shampoo bottle before I get into the shower.
I look around this hopeless cold world and all I see is rain..A broken mirror to my heart, the pieces of pain..How soon we forget..Long years and a lot of regrets..
America, the land of the free and home of the brave
America, the land of the enslaved and home of the depressed
We sit here unabled to believe you when we can't even believe oursleves
I'm three years old and I can't speak
about the things my mama does
I caught her once
we started off great
we started off happy
but you started us off with someone else
we started off together
now i feel we are going to end apart
separate
you'll be fine
ill be dying inside
I never asked for it..
you say I'm nothing like your ex's
but that's a lie..
im a bit of both...
I hurt you...
and I cheated...
I didn't want to
I was lost at thought
America. Land of the free home of the brave... for a few.
America.
A country founded on "All Men Are Created Equal"... Not true.
America.
At 6 I never had a friend
So when someone came up to me and said
“Bare your soul and I'll give you the lint from my pocket,”
I told her, “You can pay me by being a friend.”
I've been hurt before
another scratch won't hurt me anymore
I may have lost a battle, it left me agognizing on the floor,
I am bleeding, and crying, and weak, but I know I haven't lost a war.
I keep thinking that someone needs to pay
What can i do to make that happen
I know i never will do a thing because of my nature
Yet the fact they never saw my true pain frustrates me to no end
I wish i punched you
Words like rain.
Words drop like a constant rain,
Drowning out all that is humane
Words like rain.
At first start small
I blossomed for you
I opened parts of me i can not see.
I trusted you there
And you left it unlocked and took the cherry key.
I was lost wanting to feel wanted
But instead should’ve wanted to be kept.
help hurt help hurt help hurt help hurt help
hurt help hurt help hurt help hurt help hurt
help hurt help l help hurt help hurt help
hurt help hurt help hurt help hurt help hurt
The pain of the cuts in the bleed and the bleeding in my cuts, the sorrow's rush. Explain to what is happening, this unknown feeling of the pulse of a dying heart. Because I gave you my all. What makes it worse is that you left me to fall.
When your skin has been torn from your bones,And your life ripped apart,You have no choice but to part With the ways of old.Or continue on the same path,And refuse to fit the given mold.You can uproot the world with all your wrath,Lashing out with
i told him i loved him
and he didn't say it back
and now he's standing in the doorway
watching me pack up my bags
begging me
"don't leave"
but why would i stay
why would i waste my time
Catching bullets in your body.
That's how you feel when you love somebody.
Finger on the trigger you don't think they'll do it,
then BOW!
Your organs spilled and your blood is spewing.
Dear Mom,
I woke up today screaming and then realized it was just a nightmare.
I don’t know why you didn’t come to check on me but I know I will be okay.
Dear Mom,
Why do I do such hurtful things..
My mind, body & soul are just in separate places
I feel I'm not where I'm suppose to be
In my years I have done so many thingsHurt so many peopleCaused so much troubleIt was never intentionalI never meant to hurt anyone like thatLike I didTo make them cry
Every time I think of our time as friends, I die inside.
I feel as though I just swallowed broken glass.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry forever.
Everytime I see you I think of my mistakes.
Promises, promises.
What do they mean?
We give in to the lies, we give in to the need.
You told me you wouldn't hurt me, you told me it was the last time.
Open.
I see my window and the light shining through, I smell the toast in the kitchen,
I feel the sheets on my bed, I taste the damp air,
I hear the singing birds.
I was pathetic.I was lost.I wasn’t me anymore…. because of you.
I would indulge in..I would desperately seek.I would want…. alcohol because of you.
I feel a coldness that penetrates to the very core, and doesn't stop there.
A darkness so deep that it blots out any hope of light.
Despair so sad that I am barely trudging on.
Do you know how much the silent treatment hurts?
When you put yourself within arms reach,
but you're still out of reach.
Everyday, I see you, hear you,
but you don't seem to see or hear me.
It feels like yesterday
It all happened to quick
I cry from it still
Why did you have to go
So young
So bright
So handsome
So sweet
The pain to know
My skin. Look at my skin. What am I? I am a mixed girl in a obscure world. When I would play on the playground. Small, this high, my wide eyes didn’t yet recognize the lies.
Your absence hurts me
Why can’t you be by my side?
Mentally killing me
Why are people cruel?
Insecurities haunt me
Please just let me be
Chances have been given yet you chose to destroy themI was patient thinking, maybe problems were getting in the waybut you chose to hurt me
I am going to be swallowed whole,
And there is no fixing it, I know,
I am going to be chewed, eaten alive,
And the scariest part, is that I will survive,
Nothing could break us apart.
We'd been friends for ten years.
I never knew a friendship could hurt,
but it did, more than anything.
Your words twisted in my head
As blood gushes out of my wound and spills onto streets that someone in mine or yours were slaves on,
I do not think about #BlackLivesMatter or #AllLivesMatter.
Ten years agoWe met in school<br>I was a nerd with glasses<br>And you were overweight<br><br>High school found us much the same<br>I was no cooler, and you were no thinner<br>But you had my back, and I helped yo
I never really understood who I was
Now more than even I still wonder who I am
Yet I think before I had an idea or I thought I did
Just in one short year I lost that part of me
I play the game I love.
The game fights back at me.
I can not play,
I can not run,
I can not walk.
I watch my friends play.
They feel bad for me.
I watch the months go by,
We floated down an endless ocean together from the beginning of our time
My hand placed in yours and your hand gripping onto mine
November 9th, 2016 and my eyes restrain tears
I feel the wrath of hundreds of eyes locking onto mine as I walk down the hallways of my high school
My life is Intoxicating
It’s so misleading
It can be frustrating
I guess I’m still debating on whether my life is worth hating.
My life is so demanding and friends
Built up hatred
Oozes out of the pores of the misinformed.
Can't seem to escape it.
Can't seem to rise above it.
How can I become an example
When I feel like a sample
Of America's weakest?
I knew I was yours the moment you said kiss me
The words hadn't even fully left your mouth and I was already there
My mind hadn't even registered what you said
Why do men look at love as being a contagious diease
instead of a feeling thats here to fulfill your needs
its mind bottiling to know that some men look
at love as something that will never grow
As i smoke
I try to stay positive
but lately that just means gettin’ lit.
What's easier rolling one
or facing my problems?
I'll tell you right now,
happiness is halfway through the bottle.
The bitter, scarring painOf those I thought to be my friendsTurning and rejecting me.Family and loved onesAre not the same people.My childhood innocenceFades more and more rapidly.All the grief and heartacheOf years pastShred my heart to pieces. I
Thanks For The Epiphany's You left me traumaitized,But now I'm desensitized,When I mesmerize,About the feelings inside.And I don't wanna feel,Something that's not real,When I can't even begin to heal.Why can't I be everything you
No one gets you.
No one wants to.
Why bother fighting,
When no one else is trying?
Everyone doubts you.
No one believes.
No one has faith,
That someday you'll succeed.
Every dream is not meant to be remembered
But my dream of you I could never forget.
Searching for your light through the darkness
For the slightest traces of your flawless silhouette.
i wish i knew why
i keep getting hurt.
yes,
yes i understand no one means to
hurt me.
they say one thing and i hold it close.
not close to my heart,
close to my mind.
it consumes me.
it's simple in a woman's mind,
don't believe she only wants love.
she wants the loyalty, respect, attention, and care:
she wants to be put above.
loyalty means commitment,
respect means good character,
You can’t play footsies with
combat boots
Thick like your thighs
Heavy like your body
Here we are again. We've already met.
The hurt, the pain, and the regret.
The feelings rushed in like waves headed for the shore.
They left my broken heart even more soar.
My mind aches for answers
Don't take this the wrong way,
You knew what I meant when you started dating me.
You knew I was different,
You knew I could care.
But you threw me away, you left me bare.
When she becomes you
and you become her.
See she’s that other half of me
that made room for herself.
The light to my darkness for
Do you ever get that feeling The feeling of wanting to fly But your wings are broken Every word unspoken Do you ever get that feeling The longing desire to run But your legs are paralyzed Your nerves are tranquilized Tell me the truth As my so
I looked our old messages, and suddenly it all made sense. People don’t appreciate that kind of thing unless they understand it, and the only way you can understand it is through experience.
HI
I’M TYPICALLY PRETTY SHY
AND THAT MAKES ME A CARPET
THAT YOU HAVE TRODDEN ON
EVERY DAY SINCE I MET YOU
She’s the pretty girl with the perfect life .She plays sports and gets good grades.But one day, everything started to revolvearound a knife.
I should be exhausted
I am exhausted
Both physically and mentally
Physically, not so much
Mentally, too much
This world is filled with mental exhaust
I am one of them
Can rest cure this
It's inevitable that at some point in life, we all become cold, whether it's for a week or a lifetime, we become cold.
But what is being cold? Being cruel? Sad? Distant? It's subjective to each and every individual.
Did you tell them you were ok
Did you laugh it off and shake your head because
nobody wants to look weak.
Did you walk calmly out the door but run
Secrets {succubus} Verse 1:I try to not do it but it's so hard not to love you. I see your features when your gone. They radiate in everyone With your love I'm so far gone. Can't tell you how I feel. No word or words can explain it. I'm jus
Dreadful Dreadful
In every cell
Dreadful Daughter
Lives in hell
Dreadful Dreadful
You cant tell
Dreadful Daughter
Fakes it well
Dreadful Dreadful
Hear her knell?
On the drive home, I noticed all the children racing around playgrounds,
people walking their dogs,
everyone being able to go about their lives while mine had been completely put on pause.
It never stopped hurting,
Every moment of every day,
the pain engulfed her;
It was hard for her to believe,
The one person who she loved,
Gone, never to return;
Her eyes searched for him,
Losing you felt like my heart was ripped out my chest,
I cried for many days all those sleepless nights,
constantly trying my best,
to stay strong and fight.
Wishing you never left,
wanting to bring you back,
Ash thick in the air,Getting hard to breath.Is this really despair?Is it time to leave?
I fought the good fight,and vowed not to quit.Am I stumbling in the night?Or is this just it?
Sense of humorslowly fading away.Was it a tool for pleasure?Or just a mask per-se.
It was constantly in me.The first thing i would useWhen a friend was in needOr when i needed to diffuse.
Life is funny at times we have our ups and we have our down There is so much to be said and done yet nothing comes out We grow to adore and love someone, then we find out that it’s not reciprocated
No light,
Darkness reigns at this hour.
No sound,
Sadness takes at this hour.
Can't feel,
Senses are far away.
Can't breath.
No air left to take in.
Yes I am broken and bruised,
Yes willingly, I love the abuse,
Yes the nights are long
There’s not enough distractions in the day,
Yes the reasons to leave
Outweigh the reasons to stay,
how can i love you when you're so distant?
how can i love you when you're so emotionless?
how can i love you when you're not here?
how can i love you when you're messing with other girls?
Red clouds my sight
and burns in my mind
A fire ever consuming
and always ever brewing
The heat feeds off my heart
slowly tearing me apart
Bright, colorful flames
I am held captive,
Captive by my own brain
Jealousy wraps my wrists and ankles with razor sharp barb wire while insecurities pound me into the floor
On days when I can take it no longer,
All my homies hmu like where you been
Clearly
Smoked out comatose and unresponsive tearing
Searing pain unmistakable
Through the silence I hear the screams
A picture of a perfect family lying in a broken frame
A lifetime of happiness
A lifetime of lies
"If possible I never would have married him"
This pain is simply pulling me apartCaught between you and the freedom of hopeThe simple irony of your oath"I promise to let you breathe," Yet your hands are around my neck."I promise to let you see," Still you are all I know."I promise to let you
I guess I always knew you would move on I don't blame you for it, In fact I'm happy for you. Still it hurts knowing that I haven't moved on. I know I made it seem like I never liked you as anything more than a friend, But that simply wasn't true.
You were once the man that made my smile grow wide,But now you're the man that makes my smile die.Every time I see you, my heart decides to break.Every time I remember you, my organs inside me ache.I'll never forget those really good times, when w
I can hear but you never tell me- how you feel that’s why I’m drowning- in these ashes of flames that we caused, caused to burst since we showed each other our flaws.Though we try we just fill with hatred- for the agony of the other in the other’s
He had been poison in her veins
And she was insanity to his brain
They made each other sick
Whether it was the with love kind
Or felt bonded to a contract they'd signed
Knotted by promises
So, i heard your name yet again, today.
Yep.
Still got that sour taste and rotten smell that lingers well after you're gone.
Oh, fuck you.
Wait.
That's all you ever wanted.
I’m suppose to forgive you.
I leap up to life, to see what is above me.
The flame within me is burning.
I look to the sky, and see the drrops forming.
Clouds, clouds, clouds.
I know that it is coming.
I look up and there they are.
Empty is how you left me.
Broken, my heart was left.
Lost is what I am.
Stupid is how I feel.
Falling for someone I can't have.
Someone I never dated.
You felt the same once
The walls were closing in on me.
Frustrated and furious significantly.
A grey cloud of despair, can't you see it in the air?
Where are you right now? You said you would always be there.
To my 8 year old brother who calls me ugly. What is beautiful to you? Let me guess Girls with long hair As long as it passes their shoulders you don't careSkinny Caramel skin As soft as silk Face with makeup and all A girl with no flaws May I tell
NO I DON'T WANT YOUR DIVINE WORDS AND SWEET FEELINGS AND I DONT WANT TO FIND YOU HIDDEN INBETWEEN THE LINES OF A BOOK I JUST HAPPENED TO PICK UP AND I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THE SKY AND BE BROKEN BY SOME GREATNESS
NO
It cuts like a knife,
yet it brings me life.
There is so much hate
and I’m crushed under the weight.
It’s so encouraging and nice
it provides love, joy, and peace.
She’s a high school student and her heart has been ripped apart
and now she is looking for a restart
But all people do at church is make fun
so she’s on the run
I used to tell myself I hated you.
I would whisper it under my beath when you walked by and scream it until my lungs ached in the rain.
I would write it on my skin and on paper until your name stained everything precious to me.
Again,
I have fallen
into a deep
vast
ocean blue
where there is time
for me and
you.
The lilt of your
voice
is oh so familiar.
The shade of your eyes
And his mama asks "what's wrong?"
And he mumbles "nothing"
And he runs to his room,
And he bangs the door shut.
And he sits on the floor by his bed,
And he sticks his headphones in his ears,
I'm shedding tears for all the people we've lost just this year. From senseless violence to overgrown conspiracies, can't you see the enemy?
They hide in plain sight so no can ever see.
I used to talk to trees. Often I sought their branches to hold me when I felt my body to small to contain what I held. They would talk me back into it- taught me how to grow inside a husk
Sometime I realize there's nothing left to say
When someone that you love says it's time to walk away and
Sometimes I know that there's nothing left to do
But pray these words come the way they always used to do
Maybe if I carved a smile into my skin
only then will you be able to show the
love you never had within...it funny how
pain can...sometimes bring the joy out of
Have you a heart so heavy you feel as though it will fall out of your chest? Escape the prison that is your rib cage and tear through your organs until there is nothing left. I do.I have a heart heavy with grief.I'm grieving. What for?For him.For
The way my heart set up is undescribable
My love for you? Yeah, thats undeniable
As I sit on the steps and cry....All I do is wonder why?
Then I wipe my eyes....You wanna know why?
I used to say that "love" was not a strong enough word to describe my feelings but that it would do for now.
I could go through the dictionary and look up a hundred synonyms to describe the feeling when I looked at him.
Adore
Let my pain soak the sheets of the bed that holds me
Let it permeate the walls confining me
Let it seep out of my pores and into oblivion
I'm here don't, don't cry, I haven't learned much in school yet, but I know how to say don't cry. I'm here, its alright, I know you don't think I know what's going but he's strong he'll be alright.
It was like a candle being blown out: you leaving.
My world has been dark before (it always has), but
At least I had a little flame to give me hope back then.
Smokey room filled with chills,
Empty bottles, and pills.
Today's fears are tomorrows tears.
She feels Euronymous creep in,
As he shatters every seam.
Today she is seen but tomorrow dreamed.
I've been here before.
Desolate feelings creep in
before I get a chance
to close this door,
once again.
I hold her hand as her world liquifies through her eyes,
I listen as she narrates the lies,
Recreates their lows and highs. How time flies,
Only yesterday he said, "Surprise"
Proposing to her, that was so wise.
As I write out my pain, I tell you love's not a game
This heartbreak's driving me insane, slowly numbing my brain
I try not to let it show, but deep inside my sadness grows
He bangs the door in my face in protest.
Why do I hurt them that I’m meant to protect?
All I see in his eyes is detest.
No love left to detect.
Why must I speak?
Whenever I do, conflict ensues.
Words are spat into each other's faces,
False accusations in all places,
As I helplessly watch.
I apologize yet again,
The smell of blood invades my nose every morning around dawn
and we were not woken up quietly.
My eyes opened wide to the sounds of screams penetrating my eardrums.
He is but a Rose, the undefinable beauty, an incomprehensible nature
She grasps him like a child, but she bleeds.
She wants to admire the beauty, his features as intricate as petals
I feel like I died a million deaths
How can you not feel the same?
I would say my tears are just allergies
but really
my heart cannot be tamed
I feel
useless
seeing you with your other
He Was 6'5
Had Eyes that were a creamy brown
The cutest smile
And he somehow found his way to my heart…
I thought that we were meant to be.
And while I'm sitting here
Reminiscing
I like laying next to you
You are probably the only person I can confide in for almost everything that happens in my life
But, of course, the time we have together is sacred because....you have a girl at home
A rose & A Dandelion;I begged and craved for a love I would never receive. Peeking my nose into flowers that my garden could never grow. I sprinkled my seeds across a man who would never appreciate my own growth.
Happy girls can't write poetry.
A poem full of smiles isn't as good as a poem full of tears
because no one cares about you being in love or how you woke up smiling.
Good poems are made from downfalls.
i'm not sure that i understand
exactly what happened.
you promised me a home
but you left me abandoned.
was i not good enough?
did i do something wrong?
just please explain to me
The person who always looks happy
Is the one that gets hurt the most
The person who always care about others
Is the one that gets hurt the most
The person who always works hard
I hear you words everyday
in somhow in some way
you say you aren't controlling me
but I am trapped I'm not free.
You degrade me in public
call me names to make me feel pychotic
A heart so mean,
So evil and cruel.
The deciever of many,
But always the fool.
She will take your heart,
Say she will love you forever;
Then she will break you apart,
Only so many times a heart can tear
So why did it?
None of you were there
Hard to think that
You'd believe all their lies
It left me tongue tied
So I cried
Is today that day
The day so dreadful to me
Where you took my heart
And shattered it to millions
Then burying with your lifes
Does anyone else feel like they are useless? Did anyone else think they could be better?
Does anyone else hate themsleves more than their enemies could hate you? Did anyone else think they were loved this whole time?
You knew who you were dancing with the entitre time, you were prewarned.
You knew i was fucked up, incapable of perfection, incapable of love.
You knew eventualy i would hurt you.
Beautiful lies
But once it turns
Into truth
It's ugly
And painful
I trusted you
With my bare heart
And even though
I gave support
And encouragement
When I prayed
She's drowning
It's heavy
Weighing her down
Realizing
Long ago
That she can't
Swim
Feeling weightless
But the bad kind
That makes you
Feel like a shadow
Like air
It stings deep inside
Though it reveals itself
As righteous anger
Or perhaps
A blind fury
Is more accurate
Your blood roars
With the urge
To inflict pain
Only later
My heart was a sacred garden. Your stare was the rich soil. Nurturing kisses became the water. Your voice was my everlasting sunshine. My lilacs began blooming into purple rays. Illuminating. Glowing. Weeping. Falling.
If I could
I would
Go back in time
When we first met
I would look at you
With different eyes
I would thank you
While we sat at a table
Alone
In front of the school library
There are times in your life,
times you’re overwhelmed
by joyous feelings, then
there are times in your life,
times you’re overwhelmed
by deep, dark, hurtful feelings.
leave me be
let me see for myself the cruelty
i know you supposedly didn't mean to hurt me
so why am i sitting here with my heart bleeding and these tears streaming
let down and left down i lay praying
When I write I never ask why.
I never had to think about it.
It always just happened.
But it wasn't until I noticed
That I write to survive,
I write because words can save lives.
The sky is eerily starless tonight
And it is like the universe senses that I am not ready to see the stars
Hidden in the darkness
I am waiting for the clock to strike twelve
And for you to admit that you were wrong
When will i win a prize possession.
Something or someone who belongs to me.
Am i to urgent or never on time.
Do i belong here or just well unsure of what’s going on.
I really am trying. So very very hard.
But the pain from the past makes life in the present feel so hard.
The stressors of today, call back the ghosts of times past.
And I really do not know how much longer I can last.
Broken wings
Shattered piece of mind
Trapped on Earth
Unending time
No way back
No way home
Surrounded by evil
No place to roam
Good is evil
And evil is here
Hurt runs deep
Tears are shed
Hearts are torn
Love is dead
Try so hard
Always fail
Bruised and scarred
Blood's red trail
Makes it's mark
On my heart
Like a bullet,
He acts tough
I'm sure he is,
But he's more than that
He's soft at heart;
Almost Sensitive
His laugh is a beautiful soundtrack
Playing the music that makes me smile
I melt away
There are no words to say
I all I can do is sputter
or merely utter
That tore
Down to my very core
There is more than a feeling
You really got my senses reeling
I'm falling deep,knees are shaking,I'm feeling weak.I don't know what to say,When I open my mouth to speak. All these fucking feelingsAre attacking me. Weighing me down,
Which way should I go?
My heart says yes, but my head says no.
Should I go up the path,
or down the road?
My hopes are high,
and then they're low.
Waiting for answers,
chasing dreams.
Gravity, a reality
A slumber a tragedy.
What I found out is maddening,
Into the waves it’s dragging me.
Lies, anger, chaos, passing.
All around the lights are flashing,
Did you think I would never find out? I’m not as stupid as you may think I am. Do you feel accomplished yet? I let you in and it backfired on me. Even though it isn’t the first time why do I still want you?
Another smile, another tear,
Another kiss, a lot more fear,
Another hit, nothing is clear,
Another memory that will last for years.
Another heart that has been broken,
Another wound that has been opened,
Never could I turn to one who knows me as you do
I thought that I could never be myself until I met you.
Endless, restless nights spent awake just holding it in,
Yet you were right there, as though you were kin.
I wish there was some beautiful poetic way of explaining how i feel.
I wish i could paint my words into a picture.
But i cannot.
Because i do not know how to make the feeling of absolute worthlessness,
i used to be every girl
in every song you heard
i used to pollute your mind
and populate your world
but it's not okay anymore
and you don't want me there
the way you did before
Ever since I was a child the world looked so bright
It seemed like all the darkness was pushed away by light
But my young mind couldn't comprehend all the truth
After all I was in the starting of my youth
On my ribs they stay,
Permanently marked,
A reminder to my heart.
Sixteen stitches, black and beautiful,
Surrounded by words above and below.
Words that gave me strength,
The Father awakened from a hibernation.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father cooked grits and eggs.
The Father awakened from a jubilation.
The Father awakened to a situation.
I am someone
But in the face of you I'm nothing
With your something I can't breathe
You're my peace of madness
Won't let me go cause you want total damage
If one isn’t ready for something
Why prepare yourself for it?
You began to follow your heart
Forgot about your mind
And fears
A word was never uttered from your mouth
But apologies was spoken from mine
A group of friends hung around you all the time
While I had no one to confort me when I cried
You stole my heart
depression hits you
when you least expect it
but when it hits you
it fucking hits
\\
hits harder
than your running shoes
can pound on the pavement
All I feel is exhaust.
I am quiet at all cost.
Through the morning dew and the evening frost
I stay still and watch life pass me by.
I lay in bed looking up at the ceiling.
Thinking.
Blinking.
Everything is going through my head like Nascar.
Faster than that in fact.
Thinking.
Blinking.
Wondering why it happened to me.
Trumpet player played the blues
His soul out there for the world to see
But none take him seriously
I whisper your name
But the wind carries it away
You're just a memory
Blowing free
Across the landscape
To light where you may
Or dare
Wherever you land
It just won't be fair
There's a hole in my soul and a hole in my sole
It hurts when I dream and it stings when I walk
There's a mountain staring down at me
A silent letter
(doubled, sixth to the end)
Sometimes we don't see
Something is causing us
Hurt
Until someone lifts
That veil
Your eyes become
Opened to the true
Nature of the thing
Sometimes it hurts
To see the truth
One day I couldn't reconize myself. I looked in the mirror and couldn't find my face from all the troubles of the world. I wear a smile to cover the pain as I wash away the blood and scars. He hit me. As the red washed away my mind did too.
mirror mirror, what do you see?
some hidden power buried deep?
or are the scars all that you see?
like the others who don't see me.
I am not Scars but I'm not free
Words can't describe the feeling inside,
the pain, the sorrow, the laws you were supposed to abide.
You say you understand, but you could never seem to comprehend the pain you put me through.
Looking at your hollow eyes,
Its not a surprise that you lied.
Your promise to never hurt me,
Well that fell through,
Cause I believed it,
And became the victim to you.
[ This is a poem about someone who I became friends with and later realized I regretted on this bitter night i decribed. Friends arent supposed to watch you fall without helping you back up...literally]
All I need is my Bible, my faith in Godpursuing through my blood and enveloping loveFrom the man who taught me to hate, and stole my loveMy teacher, my abuser, stole my heart away.
I hear the words whispering in my head,
"Lonely, alone, lost, forgotten."
"You don't belong."
I look at everyone around me and I ask myself,
"Why are you so far from me when I feel so close to you?"
He made flowers grow in her heart and the demons in her head egnite.
He caused her a lot of pain but his love was a piece of beauty.
I am nothing withoutBut everything withAnd if I knew nothing aboutI only wish it were a myth
I never knew how much so little could hurt
That's the thing about living
You discover things you never imagined
Wisdom comes with age
Why is it so hard to heed
when oldheads say they've been there, done that,
This isn't me
I am out here
I am not here
This body
I don't know
Whose it is
He came in daylight
He came as a friend
He came as a game
That I didn't know
Hush my dear
Shed no tear
Keep it all inside
Turn your head
As I go to bed
And utter not a sound
Love has no respect for me
Waste not your devout sympathy
Second place
The backburner
The fault bearer
Worthless
Stupid
Idiot
Liar
Anorexic
Twig
Bird
In the background
I silently watch as work takes over
I'm the ugly sweater,
I'm just there so you may laugh
I'm the ugly sweater,
I'm here on your behalf
I'm the ugly sweater,
I've always been the same
I'm still the ugly sweater,
baby girl I see you got the finest ass too bad you ain't got no class your lack of education shows desperation you seek for fame instead of self gratification.
When trials are headed our way
We wait in vain for someone else to pick us up
Our selfishness overcomes our consciousness
And we fall even deeper into darkness
Life isn’t always daisies and roses
I hated him so terribly, so much so, I was confusedI wanted to bury my fists deep into his chestand slide them out comfortably "The thing is," he said, "I tried"We're both asteroids on a forgotten constellationAnd I held his gaze, held in my anger
"Broken bones
Broken mind
How could I
Be so blind
Broken hope
Broken staff
I though you
Once had my back
But it wasn't true
As i onced belived
"Try, just try
They shout across the void
But false hope,like a lie
It's my mind with which they toyed
But real are the tears in which i cried
Am I more than a mindless droid?
Not to them
"Stop with the lies
And the hate
And the hurt
Filled with their cries
Cause we treat them
Like dirt
A small child shies
At a hand
Raised to hurt
This word is not mine
"Tired of fighting
Chains that you don't see?
Tired of bleeding
Feeling like you cannot flee
So tired of hoping
For a moment of relief
Tired of searching
For the right key
"It's your name i call
Until my throat is raw
Because i know you saw
How, with my fatal flaw
I felt your absense like a claw
But still more poisin there is to draw,
Out from the wound
He arrives at his living hell,School.Tortured and taunted by bullies,Like buzzards skipping and flapping around.One bully, the Dark One’s true name.The rotten bastard and his posse,
You told him
You love him
You told him
Since day one
You guys cuddled
You laughed
You hugged
You kissed
One day something happens
You text him
He doesn't reply back
Yeah bitch screw you too...
I hate the word love straight up
So to the bitch who ripped my heart out wassup
Tell me how’d it feel with the other guy?
"Hey.. are you okay?
I see the smiles that you fake
The hurt as you turn away
When you bite your lip and pray
Wish they'd tell you it's okay But nothing seems to stay
When the world only sees mistakes
"Listen, listen
Do you hear
The peircing scream
Through the atmostphere
Listen, listen
Do you hear
Those long, long screams
Of pain and fear
Listen, listen
Do you hear
"The void
It knows me
Almost too well
The void
It throws me
Under the spell
You're not good enough
It whispers
You're not strong enough
For your sister
It's your own fault
"When anger finds me buried deep
The hurt inside might make me weep
I try and take one final breath
Before I meet a friend called Death
Must go on
Must break free
But Anger tries to keep it from me
"Everyday the rage within me dies a little more
But everytime I think it's gone
It comes back stronger still
It kills my heart
Everytime
To see the hurt
And the lies
The hand print of my hurt
"The wolves inside my head
Gnawing at my brain
Try to take my essence
And flush it down the drain
Remember who I am
If it's those wolves I tame
If I can't defeat them
I might just be too late
How can I cope with the things that I am coming across
How can I remain the girl I used to be
How can I smile and laugh like I did back then
When I know what they think of me
How do you expect me to live my life
I am slowly changing like a painting manipulated and altered by multiple artists. The artists and I grow old together. My tattered corners must add some character to me, right?
Long nights on the phone,
So I won't feel so much alone.
Our conversation was about every and anything,
Oh, I wish it wouldn't end.
This thing called love had us together,
The light in your eyes when you talked about her could light up the whole world for a million and one years
Love me! Don't fly away,
like a bird who needs to be set free.
You promised me your heart, thought you trusted me with
your key?
Now that you look into my eyes,
tell me you care! HOLD ME!
People will ask you:
"Why are you so sad all the time?"
People will stare at your wrists and wonder how you did that. How did you get those cuts? "The cat," you will say, "the cat did it."
Like lightning rips through the sky
and pieces itself back together
thus the communication was.
Being severed and patched
over and over.
Each time the sound of
thunder roaring
It's sad when the perso you care about most
is the same person who rips out your heart
rips it out and just....just...breaks it...
she fooled me into believing
believing she actually cared
Remember me, my love
For I will not flee
I am the sky above
And you are the sea
My love for you is burning
Like flames I can't control
I'm forever yearning
On the love you stole
The needle falls from my hand.Golden orbs still bubbling beneath my skin.Honey coursing through my veins.The sweet nectar breathes life to my lonely heart.She reaches into the inner depths of my being.
I want to be happy even if it is just for a short amount of time.Is it bad that I just want love for love, or is it a crime?All around me I see relationships turning to stone.
I hear your voice
As I sit in the silence of my lonely red bedroom
I hear your voice
As I try to convince myself that I don’t need one more drink
I hear your voice
Sometimes the hardest thing is not being sick.
Watching the world drag by from a second story window,
too far away for anyone to notice, too separated for anyone to care.
What color am I?
The color of my skin is supposed to define
My color is my barrier
What color do I have to be to be intellegent?
What color do I have to be to be beautiful?
Singer 1:
It hurts me to hurt others
And you deserve my pain
As much as you deserve
A trip on heaven's train
Singer 2:
My anger's hit its tragic end
But I'm more hurt inside
Money talks, so do first impressions
I guess she wasn’t impressed by
my words, cheapened by my nervousness
she thought I was one dimensional
I
drip
drop
and
call
you
but
you
don't
hear
me.
You
are
too
far
in
the
depths
of
your
own
This poem is not about her small heart and how it beat against my chest,
A steady stuttering rhythm,
Th-thump th-thump th-thump.
This poem is not about her small hands and how they cradled my chest,
You stand beside me and try to hold my hand
The warmth of you sets my mind wandering
The way your whole face smiles before your mouth does
cracks a glow-stick in my belly and the outside world fades like
You loved me
Too much that we couldn't handle it
So much that it kept me up
That it made me cry myself to sleep
I loved you
Too much that I didn't want to anymore
We always knew that the day when we
split
would come.
I will always have the scars from you.
The good ones,
when we would play on your floor,
Prick.
Betrayal hurts,
oh the prick.
The taste of metal,
on a soft finger is lingering on my throat.
Each drop is it's own separate thorn.
Don't wither.
From the inside looking out
A bright-eyed horse stands
Head held high to the sky
Ready to take on the world
Without a single doubt
knuckles are bleeding again
hit the wall too hard
cover the ragged flesh with paint.
makeup's smeared again
mascara streaks down cheeks
turn the smudges into tiger stripes.
All these marks.
All these thoughts.
All these memories.
Brings me even closer to the edge.
Nothing is clear anymore.
The second-guessing.
The cloudy state of mind.
The shaking consuming my body.
Angel
My Angel,
Stop flying,
Stop searching,
Stop remembering.
What you're flying for,
Isn't worth it.
What you're searching for,
Isn't there.
What you're remembering,
Growing and growing I was taught to sit still and stay quiet.
So I sat still and stayed quiet.
Then there was a point when telling a secret would hurt someone in the family.
So I sat still and stayed quiet.
Pain has become a part of me,
Like a leaf on a tree.
Day or night,
its still there.
Pain is when you cry so much it feels as if there is no air.
Pain is and will always be part of me,
SaltwaterMy words taste like the seaRemarks can slaughterEverything that means so much to meI am no longer youngerI am now old enough to knowIgnorance can still echo like thunder
See your flower is delicate
Delegates of angels persuade to me you're heaven sent
But you know how the devil is..
With his disquises
Almost Compromised me
From the ground grew a violet
STOP! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
I scream to you
I beg you from my knees
I make so much noise
I cry and plead
I plead to the gods the lords the people the demons the angels and you
And you all ignored me
If i disappear will you look for me?
In the misty spring nights
And beneath the willow tree
And where the deer fight?
I saw your hand around my waist,
your eyes staring at me
with a kind of sticky chocolate hold
that captivates me—holds me frozen in time.
I crush me between my fingers and palm, squeezing tightly - relentlessly
Into my balled up fist I threw the things that make me me.
The bad things -
The slightest glimpse of his beautiful face,
The allusion of his angel like voice,
Could send me to such a magical place.
Being in his presence make me rejoice.
When it’s just him and I being silent:
It’s a metaphor, see?
You put the killing thing
Right between your teeth,
But you don’t give it the power
To do its killing.
But you don’t get to choose
If you get hurt in this world.
Dear Addison,
It's momma. Happy birthday. Today is the day I guessed would've been your birthday.
I think about you every day, and I love you very much.
I'm sorry I never got to hear your heartbeat.
Growing up sucks in this world
Having pressures to be perfect
You try to get away from it
Clear your mind and run away
But you still have that voice
The one in the back of your head
I know it will never be true
Because although they say,
"I will always love you"
Deep down inside
All I hear are the lies
Telling me everyday,
"You will never be good enough
Because you said i was beutiful i began to redifined myself, God began to work. You loved my inperfections, my weaknesses, my hurt. You loved my scars from the inside out so I let you make love me emotionally and physically.
To All Victims.. Keep Walking
If you plan on lying to me and then break up with me when I catch you lying instead of owning it and communicate, keep walking.
Warning: This poem contains explicit words.
Fact 1: I have spent £5.87 on self help books
Fact 2: I have read 60p worth of these books
I shouldn't have listened
to what everyone was saying.
I shouldn't have doubted
what I didn't have in writing.
I knew deep down
that they were wrong,
In a world this size
It's quite easy to feel small and unimportant
But you can't let that get to you
Because the moment it touches you
You're lost forever
You don’t know how long it’s taken me to write down these words
These words will scorn me for the rest of my life
I tried to talk myself out of these feelings, I’ve tried to talk sense into myself
Just as you’ve taught me
Here is to the women who hurt.
How their pain never told
though their stories ever sold,
intuitively resistant and bold.
I used to think I was brave.
That I could be anything I aimed for.
But then life hit me,
kicked me,
shit on me
rolled me in dirt
and spit on me.
I wish I could be brave again,
Feelings of yester year haunt me.
Emotions tucked so far in
the folds of my heart they are
almost invisible.
Yet I cannot keep them from encompassing
me.
I feel a longing.
Strong and familiar
When I am aloneNo one can hurt me anymoreNo one is able
To tell me a lieAnd injury my precious heartBut there is still pain
Setting in the dark head full of thoughts the voices are screaming and screaming who are you?
Do you even recognize this horrible being you call yourself?
In one hand I have safety
In the other rests my heart
Every time I try to unite them
Everything falls apart
Why can’t things be simple
Easy to figure out
I once was so sure of the love
So long I have lived in pain
Yet he just now can see
All the pain and grief
That consumes all of me
How can I be happy
When I’ve only ever been hurt
Instead of vowing to heal my scars
When I was little my father used to let me use his belly for a pillow. He was my rock in this tossing stream we call life, but just like any sedimentary he started to erode. Parts of himself were chipped away with each wave of sorrow.
I'm lost and i been that way for so long, i bear the results of these years and i wear them as scars.
Mistakes made and good intentions gone wrong,
i have seen small limbsslide through the armholes of toddler sized shirtsand their knees bend into boxes without any work.my eyes have watched them flow through a rowof school desks without feeling the push of cold
Dont take me getting myself together for granted
I acquire a lot of attention , I'm very needy and just want to be love
I don wat t be ingored anymore
Dont take mw getting myself together for granted
OH SO...
You flutter and flail.
You break and bend my very being.
Oh, the bittersweet agony of holding you close to my chest.
They say love is a drug, so addicting and gives you a high that you can't come down from. But what they dont tell you is what happens when the high is gone and all your left with is all the hurt, that the drug took you're mind off of.
If I were a duckling, the church was my mother.
I folllowed and obeyed to please one another.
I knew not why I'd bother to question,
Why I'd always head my elders instruction.
April 12, 2013
I had blue frosting on my lips, face covered in lies. You walked in and placed your keys in your coat pocket, "You lied, we can't be friends, Happy Birthday Erica" you said tears in your eyes and I said my goodbyes..
The weight of denial sits on my shoulders,
adding pounds to an already crumbling structure,
Dreams are just DreamsUntil you make them soarA Wish is just a WishUntil you fight to make it happen
I used to think anything you could ever tell me to do would be an improvement, that any insufficiency you’d catch, that I could make myself a better person by breaking my bones to fit into the mold that you cast.
I spend yet another night, jonsing for a kiss only you can give me, longing to be held only in your arms, wanting to cling onto you and lay down in our blissful silence, saying so much but at the same time, not much at all.
Even someone cold as you
Could feel this summer heat
I would just like to know
If your heart breaks when it beats
August has long since gone
Your voice creeps in my head
Misused, abused and left sitting confused
Disrespected & rejected
I know you love me, your love is true
But you have a funny way of expressing it,
And with that I haven’t figured out what to do.
A picture painted in red,
Crimson sliding down a canvas of snow-white skin.
Creating cracks in porcelain as the knife cuts deeper,
The bright fluid oozing out from underneath the surface.
Dulled senses are awoken,
To love you, I need to know you
I need to know your strengths, your weaknesses
I need to know how far you've come and where you're going
I need to know your likes and dislikes
I need to know why you want me
She left in distress
Her hair up in a mess
To her lover, she will never confess
The thoughts she is thinking about
Only lead discussion to shout
Deep down hoping he will find out
Being hurt doesn't matter
Being controlled constantly is the norm
People don't notice how you shatter
Overhearing the other girls cruel chatter
In your mind their whispers brew a strom
Where were you
You said you'd be here
but yet your absence is pretty fucking clear.
The hole you left in me is not done tearing me apart, I am slowing becoming into what I've feared the most; nothing.
Brilliant flame among the dull ice
shines brightly, bearing happy thoughts,
but among the dead throng of ice,
nothing burns or melts, but grows icier still.
Why?
Comet bright and bold caressing the heavens
but what if i saw you again
would it feel the same way
would it be like my life source is back
or am i destined to be dead
are we destined to be dead
i'd hate to think we can't make amends
its been so long and im still not over it
we were closer to each other than i ever thought i could get to someone
it breaks my heart when i see things that remind me of you
but thats everything
everywhere
Words coming down,
Hurtful and unnoticeable.
Pang settles in the heart,
Uncomfortable and unbearable.
Next comes the tears,
Wanting to wipe away,
Yet with pride in the way,
Violence would have saved me.
A thought I struggle to comprehend.
It were the words that degraded me, broke me down,
they wrapped around my neck.
"Piece of shit"
"worthless"
"a mistake"
They said love hurts, but I didn’t think it would feel like this. A beautiful kind of hurt. That’s what I pictured.
I am normal like you
yet I feel so much pain.
Words that cut deep
inside me.
They hurt so bad the
constant downgrades
of my life ,yet I find the will
to hold on
As I walk past him my cheeks turn red,
I say hello but he ignores it instead
I wonder how we would cuddle in his bed
Or how his hand would fit in mine,
My heart is in a bind.
Everything started because of a boy.
A boy that made her feel special.
The first boy she thougt she ever truely liked,
I think I might have just been
born of a disease.
A disease where slowly my
flesh peels away
at the slightest remarks.
Where my eyes become to full
and my heart become to weak
Pain is an inevitable part of life.
Pain is your body, mind or spirit way of telling you it hurts.
So I took a deep breath and asked her name
And she said hi, my name is kate
And I said hello But I knew she wouldn’t let me go
Cuz some people connect immediately
and other split immaculately but I know
I remember that it hurt,Seeing the one you love,Love someone else.I remember that it hurt,Driving out into the middle of nowhere,Just to scream at the top of your lungs.I remember that it hurt,
A faint mysterious cloud rolls overhead.
Darkness comes along leaving room for regret.
Memories engulfed with tiny drops of rain,
Slowly warning this is no ordinary day.
With all my heart
You are tender and kind
Your always on my mind
If you could rewind
Stop all the fighting
It's not right
To fight
Over silly stuff
And don't be so rough
It was like drowning in the darkness of the seemingly desolate ocean
Lit only by the odd glimmer of moonlight
The odd sparkle of his eyes
I can swim, but I didn't want to
I, I, It- Stella D’Vine
I have to pretend I don’t feel.
I have to suppress the stress.
I have to swallow the tears.
I have to pretend to pretend.
I hate the way I feel.
I hate to feel.
What if everything changed?
What if it got better?
What if it got worse?
What if it I was happy?
Even among the noise that fills the room, the silence haunts my soul. Lost in the crowd, an identity becomes blurred and hazy. The tears don't shed themselves anymore, they too are trapped inside.
Heart beat pounding
Exaggerated sighs
Lips tracing scars
Pupils peering into mine
Mind racing
Endless hours
Piercing whispers
Lingering kisses
Even in my sleep
Give me the courage to speak,
The confidence to act,
The wisdom to understand,
The hope that can lift my heart of stone and ice.
Thaw it.
There's a scared young girl
Filled with hurt, sadness and pain
Let her voice be heard
I had no warning
When I first met you
My mind would be centered
Around something new
You seemed to approach me
As a different friend
Now closer than ever
I don't want it to end
Every day I feel nothing but pain,
The pain I feel is hurting me inside,
It feels like it’s eating my soul alive,
The girl that can’t love because of you
Once so young and naive I allowed you to blind me of my perspective of love,
A love so beautiful,
A love worth value that spoke volumes.
they looking at me like he never gonna make it
gave me a barrier
I'm destined to break
it I'll take it
give me the good with the bad i had worse
they say he not all the way there
well at first
Have you ever been stuck with nothing to say?
And though there’s plenty to say, you just can’t say it?
Who’s going to listen?
I am screaming from the inside, hoping someone hears me,
When a house is dirty, we clean it.
We sweep away the dust and scrub away the stains until there is
nothing left
to remind us of the
wreckage
They say, "keep your friends close
But your enemies closer."
I ask, then, how do you know?
Who is your friend
And who is your foe?
One moment it's sunshine
And happiness and laughter.
Here I sit all alone
No one to talk to
No one to relate to
Wishing that one day I won't have to feel sad
One day, maybe I'll find someone to love me
Or just maybe be alone forever.
A mirror stands before me
Whispers of hate and laughter surround me
They point out the outside flaws
So I put on a mask to hide the hurt and the pain
Eyes closed
breath heavy
the feel of your body over mine
my hands on your body
your curves so defined
I place a kiss upon your neck & whisper in your ear
Who am I behind the camera lens?
I constantly take pictures with my friends.
Everyone that looks at my Instagram
thinks I'm going ham.
Sometimes I hold my head in my hands and sink into the sheets
teeth in a soft lip turned chapped
too much pushing on me from all sides
from nowhere
I never thought this day would come,
I wasn’t prepared for this to happen,
I cry myself to sleep every night,
I can’t accept the fact that you are gone.
A wall, a wall with a hole so deep, so dark, the depths could never be known.
A road, a road never traveled, nor will it ever be.
An animal, lonessome and mateless, never to find his own.
Adults always tell us
that they know best
They have more experience,
and time, they'll attest
They feed those words
Into our brains
Inject that message into
our infant veins
My heart turned into stone so I skipped it across the pond
I made the choice to let it go because I didn't need it anymore
Now I'm dragging it back because I found where it belongs
A stab in the heart from the blade you called love
You said sweet things to my face then turn around and switched up
Whats real & whats fake? In this time I couldn't tell
I have an obsession with quotes because other people are so much better than I am at putting my feeling into words.
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
YOU WATCHED IT.
BUT,
DID YOU FEEL IT?
BAM. BAM.
DID YOU HEAR?
THOSE WHERE THE BODIES HITTING THE GROUND
AFTER WAVING GOOD BYE BEFORE JUMPING OFF THE BUILDING.
I am broken.
Into microscopic pieces.
Pieces that are too small to find and put back together.
They are fragile.
Do not touch them, for they will break.
Let them heal by themselves.
If even possible.
The wind will blow away my sin
Copper devils wait in the tall grass
I walk on doves feet across the clouds
Fallow my feelings little fish
Sing about rain
I sometimes wish I was a monster
I can’t speak the words
You so badly want to hear
And I can’t make it go away
But I can ensure you have help here
You think you are weak
When I know you are strong
Here lies love so broken and ruined
Here lies her heart so battered and torn
He ripped it right out of her not caring of the effects
She tried to put it back but
It kept cutting her, making her bleed
You are not alone
Sleepy eyes
Purple crescents burn bright under them
Boney knees
Baggy pants conceal lack of nutrition
A broken heart, longing to stop beating
It screams in agony
Screaming bloody murder, but no one can hear the cries
Cannot hold on forever, can hardly put up a fight
Locked inside a cold room, lying on the hard floor
Beaten in the gloom, here be he prisoners of war
Trying to invent myself.
I'll juggle it all and make all the right choices.
I'm overwhelmed.
Like a cloud stretching to cover the entire Earth.
It reminds me that I am small.
You
Stole from me something important
Before I could understand to cherish it
You
Lashed out at me
For my overwheming emotions
You
Made me become
Hateful of myself.....
She doesnt know she poor, Even when life tells her in many ways Her refrigerator becomes empty. Whenever she is hungry she can't even find a whole meal. Her family barley has enough food to last them until they can get more.
Though I study hard and long
People have questioned me all along
Adminstration always asking
And Parents always nagging
Let me choose the path I want
Let me choose the path I want
I thought i could Trust you,
To help take away the pain,
But as the nights grow colder,
And the days grow shorter,
Your starting to fade away,
Like an old Memory!
I remember watching him sleep,
his eyes fleeting back and forth under their lids.
I remember him drawing long breaths,
and his heartbeat wavering in his chest.
Choke
Choking on bile
Fresh from my soul
My eyes collect
The wretched substance
I will fight
Never let the monster out
Please,
Turn around
Your innocence,
It blinds me
I had the chance to leave.
I could have been free, to never be hurt again.
So young, so dumb, I stayed and it begin.
I spent my life loving you, since we were kids.
Water running down my face, as today i decide my fate
going or stayin wouldn't even matter
Would it?
I lay my head on your shoulder, Cuddle with you while the day is over. I lay my hand on your chest, viewing you as a form of protection, my vest. Clearing my mind of the rest, in that moment, I realize...Im yours and your mine.
It's the chemical creation that's emotionally fueled
And the tears behind clouded eyes
Unable to be loosed
It's killing yourself
With the feelings of self-hatred
It's the darkness
I'm looking at you but all I see is hurt, pain and anger.
I see you're broken, I see the real you.
I see that kid, that used to smile and laugh.
I see that kid, that was happy and content.
I loved you so much I thought I could never let go
I thought these were true feeling that you showed
but I know now and ive started to grow
I loved you so much I thought I could never let go
I thought these were true feeling that you showed
but I know now and ive started to grow
You ever think to yourself what could I do different?
Someone like you I bet you don't even consider it
Every answer is a lie,
Every night it all unfolds.
Only when I'd rather die
Is when the truth is told.
Every answer is one I hide,
It scares me more than you know
Because when I search,
I hope I forget your eyes
And that I couldn't look way.
I hope I forget your smile
Because it makes me wish you'd stay.
I hope I never call you
When its late and I can't sleep.
Bleeding because it paints the pictures
so heavily spilled
in my mind.
And seeing the crimson upon my skin
Gives me pain that makes me real.
Crying because
It makes me view
Who am I?
I'm the girl in a cheering crowd frowning
I'm the girl who loves but never was
I'm the girl who was hit constantly by someone so close
Who am I?
I'm the girl you left behind
A permanent reminder runs crooked down his chest
a seam, a scar, still raw, deep, and red
he is in debt to a strangers hand, loses rest
for fear of failing his second chance
They keep trying to tell me I should be happy.
Ok, I am really trying,
I mean honestly I ain't cut in almost 10 months now.
People say that it's pathetic when someone is that sad,
Driving home that rainy night, Everything was normal, everything was right.I turned the same way I always do,quickly running out of time before curfew!Almost home, just a few miles to go,
Don't be a brat! BAM BAM Stop being stupid! BAM BAM You need to learn! BAM BAM Don't fucking talk to me!
The door finally closes, another day spent,
Another act finished, but I’m not content.
I look in the mirror, stare into my eyes –
Were they fooled today by my act, my disguise?
I fall, I rise.
I make mistakes, I live.
I've been hurt, but Im alive.
I'm human.
I'm not perfect, but I learn.
I've encountered hardships, but im thankful.
Within my heart lay a gap that I cannot fill
A gash within my emotions that lay unhealed
This wound inflicted bleeds deep within me
This stream of emotions wil never heed
A cloud of thoughts loom in my mind
Hearing the screaming and shouting in my house,
I don't know what to do but grip my blouse.
I used to think "This is where it all ends",
But I looked past that and started to ascend.
All of our years we work and try to see,
The girl or boy we are supposed to be.
We go through school being judged and bullied,
Just to turn around and judge and bully.
We are called to act with love and kindness,
Get big
Get fucking BIG
There is nothing stopping you now
Stand tall
Chest out
Make those mother fuckers shake in fear
You're angry, yes
And hurt
I flinch.
False consensus effect strikes again.
I'm not afraid of your touch. Fear has no position on the playing field.
you recoil, my body like a stovetop to the touch.
No rhythm
No rhyme
Just me
And myself
Dark hands
Bright face
WIth a dim glow in the eyes
Worn out
By the challenge
Of living each day with a smile
Inside
Where do we go when we are lost?
Where can we find ourselves and what’s the cost?
I’m searching of the girl I once was.
Looking and looking, where can she be?
I see a girl, is it me?
Why dont you cry out my friend? Do you want your pain to never end? This is the fate some say you chose. But others would never know. The life was chosen for you. A horrible tale you were put through.
Tears don't mean sad or pain,
Isn't even flow from wounded heart...
Tears are way to express joy and sad...
Emotion charged when fervently warmed...
In Very sad or Ecstatic joy,
"Look in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful' .
I'd repeat it. Look in the mirror and say " I love you".
I'd try , but nothing would come out . I'd go mute.
I spent most of my life trying to hide myself.
Impressive in your eyes I seem,
but more Impressive yet are you
who believe in my life so vague,
filtered to exclude the truth.
My anxious fingers produce
The pounding in my head won’t go away
The rush, the high, flying
None of it will go away
The rush, the rush, it’s supposed to end
The night over, the day breaking
--but fuck that why end it early?
I am a woman behind a curtain,
and that's something that I find difficult to accept.
Keeping lies, and secrets, I seem to always let
them take advantage of every part of me
my heart, my lips, my eyes.
I remember
your face
on which there was
pain and disbelief
distorting your features
beyond recognition
when I saw you
for the last time.
Forgive me
For I caused your eyes
Walking away from this pain,
Leaving it behind,
To try and see,
A new light.
Over and over they raped her
Made her feel as if she wasn't there
Touched her innocent body
Behind the hazel, she's just a lonely little one. Behind the hazel, she wants to the world to be gone. Behind the hazel, she's fighting everyday. Behind the hazel, she's scared in every way. Behind the hazel, she's slightly shattered.
CUT THE RESTRAINTS THAT HAVE HELD YOU BACK
SHUT THE DOOR TO ALL THE NEGATIVE SMACK
BUILD THE BLOCKS OF CONFIDENCE INSIDE YOU
SHILED THE PAST AND PUT OLD THOUGHTS BEHIND YOU
Many times we sacrifice hopes and dreams thinking that by doing so we will achieve bigger dreams.
We don't understand how many we lose in the road until we look back.
Forgive me for always wanting to be in love,
I know it sounds dumb and stupid.
But I rather be in love and feel it’s warmth then hurt from the outcome
Of its winter cold.
A million stars up in the sky
one shines brighter I can't deny
A love so precious a love so true
a love that comes from me to you
The angels sing when you are near
within your arms I have nothing to fear
I loathe your addiction to cigarettesand the women you go to seebecause one is killing you
Every day, she gets called a different name.
No one seems to see the pain it causes.
To them, it’s all just a game,
Even when she cries, no one pauses
“Free me”, she screams in his face.“No more.No more a moore.I am a river.I flow.I live and give
I hate these ballet shoes
Everyday marks another bruise
And as I dance with the pain, my brain is in flames, going insane
Working double time over what should be considered a war-crime
Insults fly through the air,
Pain upon the heart,
Boiled anger through the veins,
Impatience floods the mind,
Yells,
Screams,
Accuses at night,
A breaking soul,
If I died tomorrow
Would you miss me?
If I died tomorrow would you think twice about the good times?
Or would all the negative and bad times be in your minds
Flaws and all She was born like this not very tall with curves he likes to kiss the chubby cheeks on her face a smile that lights up the place in her heart is very pure and soft voice that's hard to hear if you're not listening to the words she s
Darkness
Is all I can see
Death
Is all I dream
Happiness
Has long since faded away
Struggle
Each and every single day
Mind
Is slowly turning to dust
Pain
Behind the curtain
What I keep hidden
From your eyes and mind
Is strictly forbidden
Under the mask
What a clever disguise
I can't be perfect you see
I don't have the key
of all the things I could be
I just want to be me
I can't impress you
You judge me like I'm new
They all judge me to
at whatever I do
I looked at you and I knew that it would never be the same
I fell into your eyes, and thought I really knew
But it was not something I can explain.
A spark, a piece, and suddenly everything felt right
The guard is up
No one can get in
No one can see what I feel
I don't want to see your face with pity clear upon it.
I built this guard many years ago
When you shattered my heart
Notice me ticking
Because I cant take every blow
You so innocently throw
At my ego
Notice that I am struggling
That I struggle
To trust
And open up to you.
Scared in a world with a variety of people, the rejects, the nerds and quiet people .
With the people who belong on stages and are natural leaders , those who belong at the steaple.
Our eyes are once again forced open by the sound of a beeping alarm. Morning has stolen our precious sleep.
every night i sit
watching the stars dance infinitely
hoping somehwere you are sitting
watching
waiting
wondering
if i am doing the same
You were my partner…. you were my brother…You understood this side of me the way no one else could.We’d vent to each other, we struggled together every single day just to be seen as normal…
Calm, chill, charming,
That is what people see.
I present a facade of confidence.
Little do they know,
My insides are burning.
Most do not know of the fear,
The fear of the future.
I give you this lonely flower
Which contains all i can give
I'm sorry I didn't have the power
To give you a better chance to live
But in this world that's dying
Hope for a better tomorrow is rare
Smiling, laughing, eternally cheery
Why can't anyone hear my screaming?
Showing the world my best face
Make sure that the mask stays
Mirror mirror on the wall
Do you see me thin and tall?
School is rough, the kids don't see
The person I'm truly destined to be
I try and smile or force a laugh
All behind a face that's masked
Do I know you?
The words you pronounce
are so ugly and dirty,
But you say they fit me just
perfectly.
Do I know you?
No, I do not
but here I am lying on the floor
Ive hidden from connection for so long, kept my distance from people to supposedly save my soul
But when I look back ive only hurt my self because all of them have moved on I am here still disconnected
Nothing to say
"Alone, alone, alone..."
The phrase that plagues my mind day in and day out...
Yet it rings true about who I really am.
I am alone.
Feeling ever so distant;
There's regret and remorse then trying to forget and move foward, but all of this time I'm thinking...
Look me in the eyes,
tell me what you see.
Do you see a happy girl?
Or the demons that control me?
Do you feel my pain?
My jealousy? My guilt?
Maybe now you'll understand
Sir no sir.
Please leave me alone sir.
Let me sleep sir..
This isn't rite please don't touch me....
I'm only 11; you're 50..
Black Lines,
That’s what they see.
This pen.
My pen,
Flowing across the page,
My heart spilling,
In black lines.
These black lines
Depressed,tired of being called out,wanting to quit
Try balancing a 3.5 GPS while you play sports and trying to "fit in"
Sometimes I want to give up. But my parents taught me better.
punch right,
jump to the left
run away
there's no time left
jump up
over the rolling barrel
look behind you
their still there
look forward
they cut you off
turn the corner
Eventually it gets old
You get tired of arguing just to have a conversation
Your throat is still sore from yelling at the top of your lungs just to make sure your voice is heard
A message to the douche I once were
How are you doing?
Let me change the question
How were you doing?
Let me guess
You were crumpling sheets of papers
From the handwritten words of your classmates
The school hall
where everybody is in their own corners:
the sporty girls
tough guys
rockers
brains
trouble youth A
and trouble youth B
even the believers strolling with their folks;
How can you grab me from falling if the hands you reach for is full of flames of fire
First impression
Seems to be the best
But why do I find it
So hard to rest
Late night thoughts
On my mind
Its those same thoughts
That take all the time
Is time running out
I smile when I want to cry
I laugh when I wanna scream
You wanna know why
Because when I cry or when I scream
It's pushed aside like a child's plea
Love isn't for me, darling
It's like a poison;
Keep it away from me
Everything feels like an explosion
I just want to be left alone
I can't even feel my own body anymore
all i can hear is the ticking of the clock,
though i'm halfway certain there is nothing but silence.
i would much rather be in a trance than here with such a horrid creature.
you ignite my every being only to
I want you to stop beating yourself up about what happen, because I was protecting you baby girl . Am till alive-bu am just no on thisearth with you. I wan ou to always remeber these things yo're alway in my heart.
When I'm around you, I can't think... My heart hurts, I'm so weak for. I'd confess how feel-If only I could speak to you, you've worked yourself in and around, and under my heart, and yeah, some times I really can't breathe.
Teardrops can stain a surfaceTeardrops can destroy a work of artTeardrops can destroy makeupTeardrops are their own silent stormIf only people cared as much for teardropsAs they did for storms
It hit me one night on tumblr
a blog i
stumbled upon
with a bio that sounded
a LOT like my old best friend
we never fell out
our friendship never ended
Is my nature free?
I will not laugh nor shout
And engulf in reverie
And then I say I am the sea
The moon the glowing orb
Is a friend to some but not the swirling sea
No one can see
The pain in my eyes
No one can see
When I cry
No one can see
That i'm dying inside
Thise comments you make
Hurt like hell
Those comments you made
Left marks on my skin
People have always told me:High school will be hard.High School will beThe worstTimes of your life.You will be beaten to the groundAnd pushed so low that you will Forget
Sometimes I dream she’s dead,
Blood flowing from her head,
I wish I did it,
One thrash head hit,
Strung from a noose,
Tied so tight, she’d never get loose,
A smothering pillow over he head,
1
Roses are red
Violets are blue
your curtins are opend
and im watching you
2
Twinkle Twinkle little star
i want to hit you with my car
All I remember from old days,
Is crying so hard, must’ve been a phase,
I couldn’t see, I saw from different eyes,
I was so little, why didn’t they just let me be?
Them being mean wasn’t a surprise.
From the outside looking in, everything was alright
Mommy was happy, Daddy held her tight
Everyone worked hard, everyone did smile,
We were all happy, at least for this little while.
Dad and some kids, shouldn’t it be okay?
Dad was supportive….well he will be someday.
Sometimes he came home, most days we were alone,
But we hid when he came, we hid in shame.
How many times have I fallen,
Only to fall apon the floor.
How many times have I given my heart,
Only to have someone slam the door.
My heart now covered in scars,
Has grown tougher then is has ever been.
dead. dead. dead.
Don't let them see you.
They see you and you're dead.
dead. dead. dead.
You weren't made to be around them.
They wouldn't understand, they never understand.
dead. dead. dead.
Mr.Bully, your words hurt me
and so does your hitting and punching
Everyday you make me wish I could fade away
I try to be strong but sometimes I cry
I'm so tired of saying I'm okay because that is a lie
When i speak is it kind?
if not, what do i say?
When i look is it promising?
if not, i will look away
When i touch is it gentle?
if not, my hands will reside in my pocket
When i laugh is it genuie?
Beyond the face there is a brain.
It may not always be right,
It may not always be sane.
Beyond the eyes there is a vision.
What I wish I could see,
All the things that are missing.
He's blinding almost,
he's screaming out,
"Let me go!"
"Take me back!"
"Let me go!"
and..."Take me back." again
Blue is where she found misfortune.
She's tempted,
Sick heart, dripping with gasoline,
fueled by the cigarettes thrown like darts
the whip’s bullseye that tore her apart,
innocent and caged, helpless to cleanse itself,
gives in to the rage,
To my desire,
Is it even possible?
I hate you so much.
You are the crimson fire that burns angrily in me.
You are the bush of thorns growing around my heart.
You hear my laugh,
But there is a hollow ring.
You see me smile,
But there it's missing something.
You feel my embrace,
But there is hesitation.
You never see me cry,
This mask is my creation.
Tell me where,
Where you at?
Where you at?
The warmth of tor smile
made me want you even more,
My heart is like a broken vase,
In pieces,
On the floor
I guess I didn't know how to love
myself.
The things you said you saw...
I always did think you were delusional.
For I am not beautiful,
I am not worthy of
Want.
Don't slam my drama books down in the hall
Don't throw me into lockers or a bathroom stall
My home is not the school trashcan
Let Me Be Me
So what if my hair is black and blonde
So what if you think I'm Gay?
if there ever is a day when im gone
when the wind sweeps me away with the pale dust and dingy acidic rain
if there ever comes a day when my mouth is sewn shut for good and
Even though she looks unhappy to be here,
every time the last bell rings she doesn't hustle out the door like the rest of them do.
its in my lonely
that I realize how I am frail and boney
how harsh I am to me,how my heart is stony
it is in my lonely
that I confront my phony
masks get dropped and the acting gets chopped
No one sees and no one can find
What I hide beneath this facade of mine
Constantly wanting for what cannot be
Constantly wishing for a better school,
A better life,
And better friends
Before you laugh in my face and tell me that it was my fault,
Know that I, am well aware
I fell for you and i thought I knew what I was doing
I thought I could play the game as well as the game master himself
it is today
i cannot stand the thought of my next birthday
i cannot stand the thought of another day
with excuses
and hiding
and so much hurt that i feel numb
Maybe it was the way he held your hand, holding on like it would save him from his worst nightmares. Or was it the sound of his voice sleep deprived and full of despair calling you at 3 a.m. Just to Make sure you were still there.
See thats the thing between you and her. You're getting better and she's getting worse. She ductapes her sadness with a smile and cries in silence. No one notices her bruises and cuts because theyre within.
In a world full of chaos and hate,
you wanna know what lifts me up...
you wanna know what makes me smile...
you wanna know how I am able to persevere,
Who am I?
The one cowering on the floor as the crowd walks by
Fear rips through my body
The anxiety tears at my heart with its needle-sharp nails
My breathing increases as my attack starts
I made you believe me…
You didn’t have a reason to doubt…
Why would the first words I ever spoke to you
Be a lie?
It was psychotic.
You found me,
Hanging there,
The note that I left,
is in your hands,
And as you read,
You start to remember all the signs,
And you start to realize that,
I could have been saved,
The secret signs you imagined
The signals you gave back
The special smile you thought was solely for you
The feelings you thought were there but it turns out lacked
The way you felt when talking to them
HOW would you feel if you were talked about to your face?
You would feel as if they hate you and you're a mistake.
WHATwould you do if you didn't fit it?
Another bathroom to eat your lunch is where you'd sit in.
Without a tongue how do we speak
Without love how do we feel
Without lungs how do we breath
Without faith how do we hope
without hows, how can we accomplise anything
The world is filled with hows and whats
You would think someone with a disease would have problems in school such as socializing or generally fitting in. Growing up down south and moving to New York city was a huge change for me.
I get kicked down the halls and on the inside I scream
No More
I here you two scream and fight breaking things into the night
my brain is drained and all its going to say is
Feel me?
Feel my pain
Love lost
Love gained
Love will drive you insane
Love obtained can be tamed
Nobody wants to be temporary
Don't have time for "hi's" and "bye's"
Mama, where did you go?
We're playing hide and seek, and I just don't know
If you're behind the couch or under the bed.
But when I find you, my joy will show.
This five year old loves mama with her whole heart so.
I may seem quiet, shy and weak. But inside I am more powerful that anyone could ever imagine...I just need be able to step up to the plate.
We live in shadows all by ourselves
And sell our bodies on street corners
Why?
We smile to each other's faces and act like everything is okay
When it's obviously not
Why?
We feel okay to tease others
its 3 am again and it all really seems so familiar, the dark sky, the quiet house, the creeping memories of you, and the feeling of death and sorrow in my chest
You see a teenager. Day to day, smiling awkwardly at those who pass.I see a little girl. Sitting all alone, trying to hide her face from those who look upon her.You see a senior, attending classes, not paying attention.
I cannot begin to imagine
What comes within this baggage
Friendship! What a slippy, messy slope?!!
A non-romantic relationship
Where two hearts begin to elope
You made me feel like I was queen,
No matter what was said you would be there to pull me back to my feet,
Like I was something special,
You were the first person to ever make me feel this way,
Your words are like a knife a dagger a double edged sword cutting through
Each time the wound gets deeper and deeper
So bad you can't take it anymore and wanna give up, don't.
I dedicate this to you
To all those who have suffered endlessly hopeless
Fighting to live another day just like today too
Rock paper scissors, oops you're out
Get out, out of my life I don't need you.
"It wasn't anything YOU did, I do have trust issues."
Your words still ring through my head
What could have happened
To make you this way
Why couldn't you have told me sooner
The tears I wasted
I envy those with amnesia
Wouldn't you if you need to forget the people who don't need ya?
I wish I could--I'd do anything for a memory pill
Overdose to forget those who didn't love you and never will
Left with a broken smile,
A twisted girls mind
Can take you a mile
Through the decisions she's made
She's haunted by pain
Brought to light to see
The only good decision she ever made
I tried so hard
To hold you near
But then it happened
My greatest fear
You made me laugh
You made me cry
I still don't understand
'Twas but an hour,
the brighest hour,
the simplest,
livliest
moment.
Out like a flame,
Out was my security,
out was my thirst
for life.
And I hated you
To see aint wat it seem
How to get over wats still in a dream
Close my eyes and there u are
But when i open them u are so far
The irony is u're right there
Over and over i say it aint fair
I walk around with a smile
Showing the world my happiness
while really I'm in plain
I look around at how happy others can be
I wonder if I just smile I'll be the same
Never once had I cried or frowned
Here I sitand wonder why.Why am I here?Is it just to die?Or is there a reasonFor this crazy world?A reason to be hereto spin and to twirl?
I have a past, we all do
Some of it is lies, other things are true
My grandma said I lied about rape
My aunt said I was fake
My church said I was a mistake
My friends said they needed a break
The darkness is approaching
Its taking my mind, body, and soul
I can no longer function
Someone help me
Help me; before its to late
The darkness is spreading
I am becoming numb
Sometimes, enough is enough
you tap out before the going actually gets tough
nevertheless, no one else is in your position except you
battling and fightng to get through
Lets live for today
Let past troubles fade away
Let go of the uncontrollable, its not here to stay
So why do we
worry about other things
they dont matter, they dont matter
Nothing is here to stay
Outside, I am put together, my hair is done, my makeup is done, my clothing is ironed,
It would pull me in
Dare me to eat it
And then I would
And then I did
And then I hated myself
I wanted to be that girl
The thin one with legs
The toned one with abs
Sticks and stones may break my bones
But my bones can heal
Say what you need to say
Say what you want to say
But say not what will break me
Sticks and stones may break my bones
When you look me in eyes , i feel like melting away. When i dont talk to you , i feel like i cant go another day. The way you say my name, makes me want to jump with glee.
In death we find a calm, sweet pillow
A place to rest our weary head
Gone are the years of endless worry
Gone are the times of hopeless dread
This white palace knows no fear
First time i saw her i thought nothing of it,
She was another face, among thousands.
Another body, among millions.
But a spark, a spark that would set my body on fire,
Her beauty was not striking, her body less so.
I am alone
A single soul
Who's heart is cold
Bound by the thought of everyday madness
Kept awake by the sobs of every night sadness
The tears feel like fire upon my eyes
The days end in long sighs
I try everything to warm your heart,
And you ignore me, but at what cost?
It leaves me with bitterness, less sweet, more tart.
After all, I guess love’s labor’s lost.
I thought we were sisters and
That we could be completely
Honest with one another especially
Over a guy.
I thought I made it clear
That I still had feelings for him.
What do you look like? Where are you?
How do I know it's you? Did I do it right?
When do I show you off? Who do I show you off to?
I've loved.
I've loved and lost.
But it's better to love then lost, rather than not loving at all.
Better to fall, and call for help rather than not try.
This woman told me that she would rather date a blind guy than to date me
Then I asked what does that mean
And she told me
Because he would be blind which means he can't see and I would know that he loves me
So Many Months Past
And The Weather Changed A Lot.
Never Really Counted The Days
That We'd Been Apart.
I Guess Chasing Fairytales Can Only Last For So Long..
I am suffocating.
The elephant in the room is breathing all the oxygen
and my lungs have become too weak to function anymore.
The tiles of my veins are cracked upon the impact
You cannot simply
tell me to get over someone I love.
It's not something that can be stopped all at once.
That's like telling the earth to stop
revolving the sun
Empty Bottles
Written by: Tara Renee Sack
Once upon a time you had a life
Made a family, had some kids
With your beautiful wife
Standing, arms crisscrossed as the dead, I stand.
And now she let's lose in soft lips a coo
"Trust me"
"I'll catch you"
She's waiting, but I'm still standing
because
what -what if she doesn't?
A carton of cherry-limeade, and a
package of Reese’s–short one cup –
Lets go sit on a train and collect rust with our a**es.
Chase me up the driveway at zombie pace
Tickle me till I’m blue
What’s done is done.
And I am done.
What meaning do I have
if all I mattered to, left me for dead?
My beloved do not belove me.
I am disposable.
Superimposed into life, frame by frame,
Ain't it funny how life is always filled with pain
Take amounts that the body really can't sustain
You're so depressed, you question your own state of mind
Night after night my dreams felt so bright because she made me shine with all my light.
The illushen of the world around me is falling appart,
and now i see how cruel this world can really be.
How it tests you and takes away all purity,
nothing is really as it seems.
I'm not a strong as i apear,
I have seen the other side,
More than eight thousand miles away.
I have seen the other side,
And it's like nothing you've ever met before.
The streets are lined with ramshackle stores,
Many shaped who I am.
Many more shaped those who shaped me.
I hope with my words many will be shaped by me.
A spark in darkness created a universe that we all know.
You snatched the ladder from under my feet UNpurposely.
And didn't bother to stay and cover my exposed wounds.
I was never that girlI'll never be that girlI broke heartsnot the other way aroundI slid in and out of these poor boys lives like the devil in disguise
I used to care too much, now I do not care at all,
I have been up with my "friends", but they all watched me fall.
My trust was so giving, I thought I was content,
I am an optimistic soul
I wonder about my past
I hear the time keepers hands
I see my future
I want to start over
I am a prisoner of time
They say you spend your whole life rewriting the first poem you ever loved.
With you, my dear, you were my first poem.
I remember the way I said I loved you, I remember the way you shrugged.
The way my heart was stolen.
Too many nights my mind wanders
travelling to where my lost possessions are now.
Ordinary belongings.
A blue hoodie. Hairties. Pencils and pens.
Then instead of wandering to unknown destinations,
I never truly understood the stories
Where the girl would spend weeks pining after some guy
"Way out of her league"
Who didn't even know her name
After she saw him with another woman
I think about how we used to be
Then I get stuck in my misery
I still remember the way you used to look at me
& how all those feelings came free
But now things will never be the same
I never thought I'd hate something as much as you
You take away the good people from the world
You make them want you more then anything or anyone else
Those with hard enough lives you make worse
My emotions are tangled, In knots I can not explain. The feelings for her which I nurture, Are looked down on in great disdain.
Stranger.
Bitterness.
Anger.
Hurt.
Because of your bitterness
I am a stranger.
Because of my hurt
that makes me a stranger.
Your anger at the world
hurts me.
Why can't things be.
What they used to be.
When I felt special.
Around you.
Guess things got too serious.
Thought we could both bring the best out.
In both of us.
But I feel so alone.
What the hell is wrong with you?Don’t you know I’m beaten and blue?Leave me alone.I’ve done nothing to you.
This is my final prayer,
That someone will care,
But it never seems to change
Because my mind is really strange.
It's dark inside,
All my pain and demons hide,
Maybe one day you'll see,
My mind was my place. It was the only place I could be me...
It was mine..
Until everyone started putting their input inside.
Then..
My mind went from happiness and sunshine to darkness.
I am a spicy fabric!
I do not stick to the skin
I do not sweat
And who are you to say I am a ditz to
be amazed at life’s simple pleasures?
You always like to rain on my parade
She looks in the mirror and paints her face because a painted smile is easier than a plastic one and makeup is cheaper than a surgeon. She’s beautiful and she’s the only one who doesn’t know it. She’s lost in the dark. Running. Searching.
What could I do?
What would I say?
I cannot begin to imagine the pain I'll feel once I realize you are permanently gone
You'll be like a distant memory of what could have been, what was
I wear my heart on my sleeve,
Just because you decided to leave;
I woke up with heart ache,
So much that it might break.
I wear a smile on my face,
And show love with my eyes;
Mothers not feeding their children , but feeding their habit instead ...
Children staying an age forever because life was took to soon ...
Where has the time gone?
Slipped away?
Her hands seem so cold,
So old,
So far.
She feels something
Deeper.
I know this to be true
For I’ve seen the love In her eyes
I'll be fine on my own
And your words break my fragile bones.
I'm done with the negativity,
The late night
half lit incandescent bulbs
when sleep is synonymous
with the detestable scum
scraped off the shoe
laying on the floor
mate under the bed
It didn't have to be this way
They are always part of the problem
I could have avoided another backstep
If only it weren't for them
I didn't need to have more trouble piled on
I should have kept my distance
You know it happens.
Something or someone just has to say the wrong thing.
It all goes down from there.
There is no way back.
They just keep talking like they don't notice.
They don't care they just hurt me.
The picture's fading
The smiles painted are drooping
Frowning, sadly
Sad, she's crying, screaming
But he's still talking
He hurt her once, she gave him a chance to hurt her twice
people tend prey on the weak ones
as much as they hate to confess.
Who has the right to tell me what to do?
Who has the right to choose where my life should go and what it should be?
Who has the right to say to me that i can not be with the person I love dearly?
Walking down the street with tear in my eyes and you still have words to say to me?
My head in the ground, dirt in my face and your still kicking me?
I'll explain, and I'll try not to weep as I speak.
But please listen, and don't ridicule me.
Things occur for a reason just like the transitions in every season.
The love I have for Him has sprouted up, and will not wilt.
Victim
Used by many
Left by some
To all spares every penny
But has ears from none
Caught up in a journey
Though it's just begun
Its 11:55 right now and i began to think to myself why?
Why me? Why now?
I work blood sweat an tears and do not know the reason why?
Why does she lie? Why now?
My hands get weak when i think of this situation,
It feels as if its dark like a cave
So alone no one can even feel my pain
I know its been a year since you've been away
But its a feeling that will never escape
Friends and parents stand by my side
Now, I don't want this poem to be thrown in a big pile of others with a similar meaning.
I want whoever hands this lands in to understand what i'm saying and feel what they're reading.
I try to stay away from you
But you keep on coming back
I see the desperation
but I do not give a flack
You're a crazy creepy stalking pig
who I want far, far away
but you just seem to return to me
I've tried. I've tried so hard to be your model older daughter.
(But I'm lying about that, aren't I?)
I bend over backwards, I drive across town, I work my ass off.
(But I'm so lazy.)
Why can’t you just love me for me…?
Why does everything have to end in a fight…?
Why can’t you trust me?
When all I try to do is love you
Why can’t you love me…?
Is that too hard to do?
Am I still a child?Still having to ask for permission when no one is aroundAnd being told "You're grown", but always being shut down?
Why is the world filled with so much hate?
Everyday it's something different.
- some teenager's getting raped
- drugs
- alcohol
- gangs
You say this pain is my fault
that i put this gapeing hole in my chest
when all i tryed to do was set you free
from your monster inside
i put myself in harms way over and over again
i tryed to help
Threw it all when You lost it all
Threw the cause you find a way
Just to let us know and say
I'm with you today
And when you are beaten down
You get right back up
When you try
You never give up
An Infinite Sky Dive
I want it.I miss it.Even though all its caused me is pain and heartache.I can’t talk about the past without building walls and iron gates locked down without key in sight.
I can't see a world with out you ,
But then again I can't see
I'm blinded by your love, my insecurities.
I cannot just unpack, distract, extract my feelings.
Help mother, help me!
I call, but I do not call all at once.
Signs of my pain were given but not noticed.
She finally opened her eyes when I was on the verge.
There is nothing I hate more
than to watch people suffer
with problems they could easily solve,
all because they're too afraid to say something.
Everyone has that thing they can't say
to anyone else
I think it's about time. I wanted to break out. I wanted to find some way to make someone hear. Me. It's like I wander in circles trying to break the loop trying to get away. No. It won't let me go it won't let me speak. Fine.
Love.
It comes in many forms.
The love a parent has for their child.
Instant.
The love a dog has for its master.
Unconditional.
The love a sibling has for another.
Growing.
your words, they stingjust like a razor blade upon my skinsinking deeper with each cut you slit
we've all loved
We've all lost
But all can be found
We'll all live
We'll all die
We'll always strive
For better or worse
To love and be loved
We'll find whT was once lost is now found
The life that we praise,
what we call a perfect one,
is not within reach,
but the life we call our own
is just as desirable.
Fade away
Into yesterday
Will anyone know when I am gone
Trapped in yesterday
Wanting to escape
The sorrows that enrapture me
Trying to be brave
to be Heard
rip opEn the chest
And feel the emotions
Ripped from your lips
hear Me, oh future, oh past
hEar me, oh children born, old men dead
Now is the time to act
Wearing your cardigan means I need extra protection; I fear that the day will be bad, or that I will feel more than under the weather.
he told me nothing could be without me.
he couldnt live in this world if there was no "we".
saying all this while "she" was laying in his bed.
all these lies fed straight to my head.
Lonely girl is so far up above the world. She orbits around, without an anchor to ground her.
Your hands came up empty
Your heart became dry
When everything was set to be done.
Everything that was once love became fear
Now here I lay alone
My body grows heavy but not enough to fall asleep
We all return to dust at the end of the day.
There are a limited number of words you can say.
Once the time comes, you remain forever soundless.
Use the words you are given,
I am in a constant state of unhappiness.
In my unhappiness, the happiness is blotted out
By a blank state of staring at something that should, but almost isn’t there
The sharp and the stabbingLike the shards of a broken bottleAnd its gleaming smoothnessLike the beads of a necklaceThey cut my stomach liningLuminescent- like stolen stars
At the time when I was youngI saw life and thought it beautiful.Never once thinking of it in depth,Never once asking it of anything.As life grew around me, so did I
I want to rip out my heart to get rid of the pain.
Im not ready for the next lifetime.
Just take this feeling in between my breast away.
Make the time go pass.
When you're out of my mind.
Elementary came and went,While High school Just flew by,Now my sights are turned for Provo, I got accepted at the "Y".Start to Pick Classes now,Not sure what major to choose,
Half blood,
Half flesh,
But fully family.
Sister of mine,
You have broken our bond,
Tread on my trust,
And shattered my hope.
Over the years our family has relayed to me,
Stop. Stop telling me to cope.
Do you me enough to say the words you have spoke?
To ask me why I’m hurting just isn’t enough
I’m not afraid to feel again
To be touched by the fingertips even though I have no idea what they have felt before
Even so I want to feel your heart beat against my hand
I want your voice to cover my anxieties
You hold me close and say, "Don't fret.""It's okay, I will soon forget".I know the words are only in my mind,But somehow this connection we have; it speaks to me.
Utterly alone she cries
Dying
Piece by piece
In the
War
Against the lies
Everything is wrong
How
Can she
Keep
On
Being strong
LonelinessIt eats at me like aninfectious diseaseIt crawls on my skin and digs into it like bedbugsIt stifles my heart
This is for those who can't stand up and speak.
And if they ever did, they would come across as weak.
The ones who are lonely, hurt, alone, and broken.
I used to think I loved you
I used to think you cared
I used to think "this is it"
I used to be so scared
I used to want to be your all
I used to think you did too
I loved you and I lost you. I only got myself to blame too. They say niggas ain't supposed to feel. Like you soft or weak and you gotta be strong all day, every day. But it's hard sometimes. You human, so why can't you hurt? Why can't you love?
I feel like that.
That pale greyish wisp of ash that crumbles beneath the slightest touch,
That's been consumed by a ravenous fire that first caressed
Then incinerated every fiber of it's being.
I feel like that.
'Tis a Lethean shore
Written upon a writhing worm ---
A half-winged bedight seraph of yore
Coos, in a butterfly's term,
Amidst a nebulous crowd, hearing
I need to take some time out of my schedule just to acknowledge some people to say sorry
Now taking time out of my day to say sorry got to be major because that mean I got a lot of apologizing to do
Prom is tomorrow. I put my dress on today.
The dress you helped pick out.
I stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself.
And I thought: was I not pretty enough?
The first week I was sad.
So very, very, very sad.
I was on the verge of tears the entire week.
I thought “be brave” one minute and “I can’t fucking do this” another.
The second week I was angry.
Now she’s talking.
Why? What right does she have to do this?
What right does she have to say these things?
What right does she have to make me feel bad about myself?
No right.
I don’t know what to say.
I still love you.
But I’m glad this week is over.
But now I’m less sad,
And more angry.
In fact I’m fucking pissed.
You’re an idiot.
I walked into the building today, and I thought to myself, as I was marking my palms with little half moons: Be brave, be brave.
Because I knew I would see you for the first time since you broke me.
I considered skipping French.
You called me today.
Told me you wanted her instead of me, that it made more logical sense
Because that’s what feelings are about right? Logic.
I cried. Yes, yes I cried. But I didn’t let you see me cry.
Crying doesn’t solve problems
But it will make you feel better
That’s why we cry on others’ shoulders
That’s why our pillow is soaked at night
That’s why the next day we can smile
What to do with all the hurt?
When inside you're fit to burst.
You're supposed to be so strong.
You're supposed to not be wrong.
Put a face that betrays the truth.
Give an air of being aloof.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"
why does she starve herself?
you're fat
those are just words
why does she hate what she sees in the mirror?
you're ugly
This life comes with so many demands..but it seem as if you lost your understanding of being a man..but how can you be that which you have never had in your life..a man that can show or tell you the difference betwe
You hurt me in the worst ways
you see it
cuz it's all in how you play
twisting the mind
contorting it to your master piece.
you must be in control
so you can do what you want
as you please
you've left me high and dry
this time worse than ever
I really believe that I
am unworthy of a lover
clearly you didnt know me
or maybe you didnt care
I shouldn't trust so quickly
The ocean waves touch my feet
As I walk along the lonely beach
Hands in my pocket, my head held high
Tears streaming down my face
...sitting in a room, empty, consuming
the thoughts surrounding the little heart inside
as a tear begins to form, and slowly falls to the floor,
a voice silently questions, what are those tears for?
I miss you so much it hurts or maybe i miss what we use to have, I use to think the phrase "i love you to much it hurts" wasnt true, but as I can see thats the definition of how im feeling.
Some people are bullies
They manipulate people in sight
They love to call people rude names
They only do it to start fights
How you heard of Tyler Perry's movies
Fresh flesh bleeds upon the ancient grounds of history
Flesh that isn't our own
Those chunks of human life belong to our brothers and sisters born to delete the wrong doings of war sickened people.
They fight.
One, everything was all right- perfect 10-
times 9.
Measureable by a letter scale,
A.
Two, I recall you but not what you said
one and one?
The scale is getting heavy and dark like
Did you ever love me, like I loved your hands?
On my throat as you choked me with your lips, on hers.
Did you ever want me, like I wanted your attention?
Out of the corner of your eye, when she spoke.
They tell you not to make your home in a person
That’s too risky.
When they leave, you’ll be left empty, homeless,
Sad, lonely.
Screaming inside, no one can hear it,
I know when I die, I'll be a sad spirit.
Concealed with pain, I lock myself in,
Dead eyes move in slow motion
Dead eyes see so much pain
Dead eyes look into the past
With the lenses of retrospect, dead eyes see everything more clearly
Dead eyes stare off, stilled by hurt and sadness
I hear the word so often that I have become numb to it.
I think that is the worst part. They call me out of my name and they hate me so much.
Im at a loss for words right now
I don't know what to say
I don't know how to feel or how
to go about my day
The images never leave my head
Your happiness displayed
Can you hear it?
Fiercly flowing,
Coursing through your veins?
It feels like fire
Venemous hatred
Aren't there rules to follow in this game?
They took all you had and they gave nothing back.
You asked me how I knew I loved you,
The words could barely leave my mouth.
I tried to write it, I couldn’t.
There was no ink, I could not do that to you,
You deserve to know the reason,
I can’t take this anymore.
How can the people that meant so much,
The ones that were there for you,
Never failed to make you smile,
Be the same people to shatter your heart to pieces?
You know those moments
When you just want the world to leave you alone,
When the littlest things make you break down in tears,
When there's so many things you want to say, but you don't know how to say them,
Today was a strange day. “Who are you going to prom with?” she asked you. I was sitting three seats away, and you looked at me and I looked at you. And you said “are we going to prom together? We made a deal”.
I remember your green eyes,
and the way I stood on my tipytoes to kiss you,
One hand on the small of my back, the other cupping my cheek.
That was in your kitchen.
Does it matter that these tears fall for you?
That they hit the floor and the page, but not your hand?
Does it bother you that you did this to me?
When will you pull me out of this quicksand,
I’ve never felt so lost,
Nor felt so helpless, alone, angry and frustrated.
Nor have I ever cried so much, or as often.
Never have I asked “why” so many times.
I’ve never been so weak.
Why is HURT here? Can you not make it go away. Again I will shed a tear. For we all suffer every day. If there were magic to somehow erase. The pain we all feel. Would bring joy to our face. Then I would change the ability to HEAL.
You scream and you shout.
No one's answering and you ask "Why?"
This world is cruel.
Get used to it.
Life of a bully oh how it must be
to have people cower all over your feet
Storming and raging, even the skies are afraid
of who ever would come across you and your rage
The heart beats like a thousand drums
When in the face of inquiry to another
A yearning soul heard over melodious hums
Funny how we used to be so in loveand the sky's the limit was a frequent term...usedthen abused! My hair ripped from the rootBeaten for just an opinion... bitten for just a word spoken
#1– O/S:
Your mismatched eyes are so beautiful.
– One of glowing umber, as bright as the fantasy of Neverland,
A writer’s sword is a pen
Green, blue, red, black, yellow ink
Inside a long plastic contraption
It spews words exempt for bigotry
And hatred.
A writer’s pen stops magic from happening during a
I know you blame me.
I can sense it in your tone, and
It's hurting me.
Am I really to blame?
I know you feel like I crushed all your dreams, and
I'm sorry you feel that way.
But if you really love me,
"I don't hurt people"
is such an
ignorant
statement.
Maybe you don't set fire to houses,
or burn down forests,
But that doesn't mean you've never ignited me with jealousy,
I can taste it
no feel it
the warm, crimson colored liquid as it seeped out of my flesh
ahhh FRESH
but as the darkness devours me all I can
think of,
see,
is
you.....
I’m sorry,
sorry that I let you down because you
have ridiculously high expectations
and that you want me to
be a better version of you,
Staring out at the rain
My heart shattered inside
It’s the end of the world
Where I felt alive
My heart is on empty
Hopeless, alone
Lost in a world that had seemed like my own
I'm in a state of suffering
My soul condemned to this constant pain
Expiating my sins
The pain is becoming increasingly unbearable
I just want to be done
My hypocritical being
Gets battered by the hardships of life.
On a downward spiral,
Slowly ruining myself.
Karma's a bitch,
And depression hurts.
The only thing that I thought would help
Please Hold The Applause Just Close Your Eyes And Here The Thoughts Of A Young Mans Whose Pulse Is Not Great
The Life Of My Life Is Unjust And She Lies But Doesnt Realize She's The Reason I Lost Faith
You ask what I would change about things in my life, today. Why does the world listen to the media and accept what they say? Why doesn’t internal beauty matter to us more than external looks?
She looks up at the clouded sun
For the thousandth time today
Feels the worlds ambience around her
Why do your words hurt me so?
The one I love and know
Why do the things you say get to me?
Stress me out and cause me pain
Love should come so naturally
But I am broken yet again.
Head held high I walk through the halls, I am who I am.
Tired but proud, in this place I am small, I am who I am.
Monitors beep while sick children sleep, I listen carefully.
The pain hurts.
It rips, it tears, it brings heartache
It is following in my own wake.
Fun at first that's what I saw,
A perfect image without flaw.
immediately I had to take
' 'she is nothing but a slut' '
face pale
lips Glossy
' 'she is nothing but a freak' '
pale blue eyes
chocolate lockes
' 'her makeup looks terrible' '
I shall repent? I shall forgive? Woe is me. God will you listen please! Don't let it be. Don't shy away, have you seen what sin has done to me? There's a hole in my heart where hell has been bestowed upon me. Forever and a day...
Would you come for me, If i were in the valley deep? Where the wild water runs red, And the ever cold bodies lie. Would you come for me in the river of hell.... To the souls of the damned? With those two little gold coins in your pocket low.
I'm okay even though my world is falling down,
Even if I've grown up in some forgotten town.
I'm okay even though my skin is full of spots,
Even if I'm way too big to think about cute tops.
My mind rolls back to that day.
Down in the south,
Where the air was warm
And when a breeze came,
It was like heaven on earth.
My thoughts echo words,
Dejection,
No affection.
Depression,
No expression.
Happiness?
No. Not anymore.
No more blessedness.
No more galore.
Why do I still love.
Why do I still trust.
Is it truly fun?
To see them writhe in pain
Your an awfully sick bastard
What have you to gain?
If i hurt you as you did to them
Would you still be smiling
And decide that it's okay
Huddle with me oh lost broken soul.Huddle with your broken brethren.Warm yourself with what I haveand take from me what it is that you need.I will give all that I can.
It hits us! Always in the beginning we feel good, peaceful, warm. This will last forever… we always think that. It ends up to be cold, bitter and sour.
In that moment, the warm breeze floated across my face.
The tears were trying not to come.
Your eyes gleam of realization when my words flowed out.
The stars shown as we were close.
She believed in you, and you let her down. When she was finally smiling, you made her frown.
A little girl of such young age
No choice while being restrained
Molested and abused
Raped and used
Sexuality that defines her
Body weight that reminds her
A fathers disappearance blinds her
Been hurt before,
never been missed.
Been broken before,
never been fixed.
Heard words that cut her deep
but his have mended things.
He says things that are perfect,
Running,
Chasing,
Hoping,
Waiting.
Hiding tears
And hiding fears.
Scared to say,
Scared to show.
In a room,
All alone,
This is the start of something new,
Where I forget about the old,
Forget about you.
Where I stop crying
Because you broke my heart.
Where I stop thinking you're my missing part.
I can hear you scream my name
from the shoreline of my watery grave
but I can't answer your call
because I'm drowning in the darkness
and I can't see your hand
but even if I could
Just leave me alone, didn’t I tell you I wanted to self-destruct on my own?
I’m not an open book, I’m locked away; I’ve just been warning you
I’ve fallen so hard and you’ve been so far behind
I light a cigarette again
staring at your pillow where you're supposed to be sleeping
instead you're gone and smoke surrounds me
i'm breathing.
I know, I know that I'm never right
you told me.
Words don't hurt she said
Get over it they said
Stop being sensative he said
.....But you don't understand I said
Words Hurt
Why do you care? she screamed
Learn to walk away they screamed
His eyes stole her heart, his laugh stole her mind.
He offered her this look that promised her the world, the stars and even the moon on a silver platter.
Your soft tiny hands,
Your soft tiny feet,
Your cute baby face,
No one can ever compete.
Those cute tears that rolls down
My heart burns hottest flames blue
My body sweats being in the sun
My mind's lost my heart's empty
All my emotions now disperse
For now my heart hurts
A flash of an image
And my mind suddenly works
I don't know when,
But I caught a glance then.
You may say it was love at first sight,
But I knew it was something of a greater might.
We became friends,
And I hoped it will never end.
Society. It drives me.
Family. They guide me.
Money. It rules me.
Fear. It consumes me.
Hate. It alludes me.
Desire. It fuels me.
Forgive me for being completely
oblivious to your existence
Its just the short time we spent
together wasn't the most
memorable
True, your crimson flowers
Mother:
Shivering nights follow me as my stomach grows
I feel her inside me
I can picture her face, smile, personality
Worth such a huge future
But I couldn’t give it to her
I shall not shed a tear when your heart leaves mine
I shall not show the fear inside
I shall not miss your touch
I shall not miss your warmth near
I shall not miss your lips upon mine
You don’t want to invest the timeTime is nothing, you lieEverything was beautifulRoses in the garden,Cloudless skiesBut the raging clouds kept coming from your eyesOn that day,
Don't wanna think,
Don't wanna dream,
Because all I see is you.
Your smile,
Your eyes,
The whole deal.
You broke my heart,
Yet you're all I think about.
Leave me alone,
I hold my words silently, but you've no idea how much I want to blast them within your ears,-
In those quiet moments
when you are left alone,
your mind ever wandering,
in the barren cold.
She thought she was invincible
19 and young
Invincible to the cops
Invincible to the shots
Invincible to a drive
That took her down a road late one night
She ran from the cops,
There sat a boy in class with me,
with red Beats that hung around his neck,
he'd never take notes in class,
And as the days go by you rub away at me and peel back the pages of my skin
Soon I shall be raw,sore and broken
And as the days go by you rub away at me and peel back the pages of my skin
Soon I shall be raw,sore and broken
I think of endless days and short nights
I think of powerful blades and deep slashes
I think of everything and nothing but all that comes out is air and I don't know how or why but I thought of you
A genuine lust of morning'sVoiceThere I slumber, and ponderAbout the tresspassers of the dayAnd the smell of the roses fill theCream cooled air of my mindWhile my arrival is very slow and timed
Life's too short
To be wondering why I'm stuck with you.
Life's too short
To hold on though I can't break through.
You ego is a barrier thicker than any wall.
I guess you'll never hear me call
To play victim to the same cuel fate, fills a person with such strong hate.
Yes, i'm da fool once again, yet I never know how it begins.
You sit there and fill me with false pretentions.
I left my soul on your floor last night. Battered, and cold. The cracks in the tile cradled my scarlet letter, safely. Your hands strong; sweet.I was certain that this was honest—perhaps naive.
TO: All those who toss & turn late at nightFROM: InsomniaDATE: 12/30/2013SUBJECT: Late at night, what crosses your mind?
I'm tired of this feeling
Please take it all away
Couldn't hold back from revealing
I broke my rule today:
1,000 miles away from eachother, you told me I was perfect.
You told me I was everything you wanted.
And you even told me you loved me!
Yet, you were always flirting with other girls.
You asked me what my name was.
I told you it was Jasmine S.
Then you asked me what the S stood for, and I couldn't think of what to say.
The sky is broken
and I wish I could know why
because right now it feels
like the only one who will understand.
There used to be flowers on or fingertips
but they wilt with every word.
Anxiety flows over you, toppling and sending radical shivers of coldness throughout your body. It makes a cold sweat and a nervous shake; Causing overthinking and a racing heart.
When I was young I thought my home was great
When I was ten he hit me I swore it would never happen again
When I was 15 I left my perfect home with perfectly broken bones
When I was 18 I shut the door and never came back
Walking slowly
my head faced down
but it is too dark
to see the ground
Into the unknown
I keep walking Still
into my skin it pierces
the cold deathly chill
I feel it, I sense it. It targets all my veins and reactions. My heart stops for a while and I can't breathe. I suddenly start to drop and watch as the Sun eclipse before my eyes. This is my pain. Can you feel it too ?
I look into his eyes
Indifferance to all around
Unknowingly the cause
Of each tearfilled sound
I look into my eyes
Infuriated with abandoned
Misery and yet polite fear
Hiding behind my books,
slumped over my desk
Head down in defeat,
as I stumble over each word
It's seen in her eyes the beauty and danger of this world.
Full of love, full of hurts.
And everything in between.
Thought she knew what life meant but life is just a tempt.
Full of truth, full of lies.
Pain, Love, Hurt
Is anyone ever sure,
You said you loved me,
But reality showed you loved her.
All I wanted was you,
But you never wanted me too,
You made my love into pain,
You want that special person to be happy, even if that means not with yo.
That doesn't mean it hurts any less.
Sometimes you fall for someone and they turn out to be someone else.
My eyes light up when i talk about Him,
My heart lights up when He's near.
The first thing on my mind in the morning,
The last thought dancing in my head at night.
The way my hand fits in his, like a puzzle piece.
You look at me, he looks at her, he said she said, I hear the whisper. Gossip is fun, gossip is great, but teens can be hurtful, hurt turns into hate. Why can't it stop, why cant it end? Talk is just talk, that pits friend against friend.
Some say love is patient, love is kind.
The sweet goodies you get from romantic,
feelings that you can't always define.
In the meantime, it feels fantastic.
Is it love or is it lust?
In a dark corner is where she'll lay. Silently her tears will fall; one. She'll reach across and grab her knife; two. She'll listen in to her father's voice screaming at her mother. To the sound of his hand meeting her face; three.
I'm finally free,
I wish you could see,
What you mean to me.
But now you are gone
And I'm left all alone.
But you could care less,
You said "let it rest".
I'm done with your games,
It’s taking all I’ve got,
To untie our knot,
All I can smell is the beer on your breath,
The wine spilled on her dress.
All the flowers you bought.
It’s taking all I’ve got.
She dances! She twirls!
This amazing wind up girl!
Come one! Come all!
To see the painted smile doll!
Put your order in today!
We’ll send her, no delay!
The price is really not that high!
Wonder what it's like in the public eye.
Everyone knowing everything,
No secrets Whatsoever,
Judging stares; hateful words.
Wonder what it's like to always have a front.
To be what others want,
Words hurt
typed
Or
"said"
They say nothing can be deleted from the internet
Just like nothing can be deleted from your heart
your eyes can not unsee what has been seen
Light.
Now it's dark.
Knife.
In my heart.
Fight.
In my head.
Cry.
In my bed.
Shadows.
Closer.
Getting.
Older.
Falling.
Crawling.
Game.
I seem to hate myself the most when I am alone, I think I have come so far... yet it's my metaphoric brains I wish to blow. There is so much I want to accomplish, but so much more I need to let go.
Firm arms wrapped around my waist
Chocolatey skin I can almost taste
Your words caress my senses
But strangely provoke my defenses
These words you speak, are they even yours?
Your scent just suffocates me,
bringing me down into a hole deep and dark.
Why would you do this?
Your warm body was once mine,
keeping me from freezing at night.
Why did you leave?
Three years have dragged by since
I first saw you and we met eyes
and I swear my first thought
after I saw you walk into the room
was words that are whispered into
I watch you,
With her
I wish you were with me.
I see you hug her,
Hold her,
I wish you’d hug or hold me.
I see your eyes smile when you,
See her,
I am sad,
I am hurt,
I am mad,
These words don’t work!
I feel empty,
I’m at a loss,
I’m insecure,
I’ve lost the toss.
I feel sick,
There’s too much stress,
WhoreSlutBitchCuntLiarWords hurt.They pile into my eardrums.How?Why?Wrong?Questions fill my head.I don't know. I don't know.I don't know.
Everyday for her is always the same.All the struggles, all the pain,all the hurtful words, and all the pressureto be someone, and to be something.
The buzz of the bass and the beat of the drum kept the crowd alive,
Kids push and pull and scream and love and hate all at once,
If I could be anywhere in the world,
I would choose here in a heartbeat.
Listening to them speak, acting as if I care.
I have a new technique, this blank expression I wear.
I show no hint of emotions, or feelings deep inside.
I just go through the motions, and push my thoughts aside.
Everyday you see me, or maybe you don't.
I sit in your class with my notes ready.
I smile polietly and sometimes greet you.
Maybe you notice me and perhaps even allow yourself to think of how I'm a good student.
I hate how quick I fell for you
I wasn’t looking for this
Maybe that’s why it happened
You saved me from myself and im forever grateful
I was going down a path that I knew would lead to hurt
Wake up, it’s a normal day. Go to work, the normal way.
Down the street and into a building, up the elevator and down into a chair.
Typing words and drinking coffee, I hear a man telling how he got mad at his kids the other day.
I watched you drink. Flood your life's regrets away with alcohol as if when you wake up in the morning, you wouldn't be able to remember them all. I watched you cry. Long, helpless nights, as if your eyes have cried so many rivers before.
Painful. Like a knife to the heart. Words that sting, burn, and engrave my heart. My poker face too good? Or you just dont care? I said something stupid. I wont do it again. But you insist to make your point. Words. You won.
Regarding the World ; I'm sorry I wasn't the perfect girlfriend, the best student, or the greatest child. Yet, I strived to accomplish much and be the greatest everything. It's just didn't work for me or I didn't work for it.
I do not have nine lives
My wounds take time to heal
They hurt and I have no pain medicine
When I am abused, how do you think I feel?
I do not shed human tears
But I do make noise from the pain
Cry.
Cry until your head hurts.
Cry until no more tears come out.
Cry until your heart can’t take it anymore.
Cry for release.
Cry for your soul.
Cry it all out.
Cry for pleasure.
My heartbeat is frozen
I to you is forgotten
The love is cold now, and dead
But you are stuck like ice in my head
I'm cursed
Speechless...
That sudden moment when all logical thought is eradicated from your body.Shocked when you here those condemning words.
As reason returns, emotions do as well.
Stars dim to a faint glow, the gorgeous twinkle in their bodies has dies down and the angelic shine I found so interesting has lost value.
Eyes can be deceiving and yours fooled mine
I thought I knew everything, but I guess I was blind
I was very naïve to believe you really loved me and I was stupid enough to let it drag on
Life is precious, fragile,
and an amazing experience.
Memories last forever.
The good, the bad,
every important memory,
can never
be forgotten
Rolling around outside,
It happened so fast
It happend years ago
I thought the pain wouldn't last
Yet I couldn't seem to let it go
I always thought to myself "why me?"
I cannot live with this pain any longer
There are times when I love you
And times when I hate you.
This is the last time
My tears will dampen my pillow
I’m letting go.
Kiss My A**
Where do I start, what can I say?
Never been much for words
At least that's what they tell me.
"Oh you're so shy"
But I stand up in class
"That question is stupid"
Wishing for something that isn't there
Praying for someone to care
Care about me
Thought you were my babe
But maybe I was wrong
Ended up hurt all along
Trusted you, but I was betrayed
What did I do to you to make you not come near?
Why do you not get what I fear?
i just wanted to make sure you were alright
But all it did was cause an internal fight
They say if you kill someone, its murder
But when it comes to my heart,
Whats the case?
You lurd into me, built me up
having me believe EVERY. SINGLE.LIE
And used my own weaknessess against me
Are you a scientist?Then why are you placing me on a slide?Who gave you permission to judge every aspect of me?Every strand of my thick hairEvery scar on my legEvery less than perfect nail
It's been almost a year
And I'm still crazy
All of the memories you've left me
Haven't become foggy or hazy.
I hate you, God, do I hate you
And your perfect life
Leaving me broken in my garage--
There are times that I miss you deeply.
It comes like a crisp September wind.
Your eyes, they dazzle all over me,
Then I realize it’s all in my head.
Your lips they kiss me tenderly,
I walk in late to class again , but I do not care.
The lessons you write up are incomprehenisble, and
Your monotone voice has left me to just stare.
My eyes are wide open , but I'm not paying you any attention.
Help me believe that youre the right man for my heart..help believe that you can stand to be the mother of my future childrens...
It’s you
You that I am scared of
You chose me as your target all because of the way i look
Or maybe it’s because I’m better than you
Are you mad at the fact that I don’t have to
Dear teachers,
I tried to fix my life
broken from harsh words
that were said under your nose
by miss perfect
miss 4.0
miss captain of the sports team
miss daddy is the school board chair
All the shadows in my mind
You push away and leave behind
Every whisp'ring doubt and fear
Fades to nothing when you're near
But then, every time we part
These burdens bear back on my heart
I'm not sure
Where I came from
Not sure
That I care
Don't know my heritage
I've come from everywhere
I suppose I'm from
My mother
But the pieces
Are all wrong
Button eyes
There's more to me
more than you can see
you don't know the hurt I do
you don't know what I have to loose
I show you a smile
but inside I still cry
you'll never know how I truely feel
Take a second to breathe, to listen.
To hear the laughing and the whispering.
I get it, we all do, it's old news.
I'm gay, yes it's true.
Yet you don't understand, acting rude and all whack.
Breaking Branches
Falling Leaves
Seasons Change
Caring Need
Rolled down Sleeves
Icy eyes
Hurting Heart
Who Survives?
I lay in the night thinking of my lifeThough I am young I still want to be a wife.I love and get hurt, but how can I explain?What have I done to deserve pain?I am beautiful and smart,
Now I could just leave you out of the listthat I madeof princessesOr decide to giveyour princess to youas an ironic thinglike saying,here ‘princess’you self-righteous brat
My heart beats fastAs the tears cascade downStaining my paperWith utter disappointmentFrom shattered hope.
What’s a beginning? The first, a start?
For I believe in no beginning to this art.
I have written these same words, felt these same feelings.
I have painted these same problems and colored in my same solutions.
Depression has controlled my mother's life.
No one can understand what she's going through.
I wish I can cut the pain with a knife
But not even I, myself, can acede to.
All I can try to do is give her love.
Your eyes are like a setting sun on silk green grass flowing to the wind
I have nt slept since the last I saw of them
I long for them, I long for their master
Long for the soft cherry red lips of sweet sugar on mine
His lips were the sharp shooter.
Words like daggers pierced my heart
but soon,
Reality began to spread through my veins like poison.
Emotional roller coasters twisted and turned behind my eyelids.
Hope is a knife, faith is murder.
She cries out to you,
but you haven't heard her,
because the truth is you don't care,
and deep down she knows,
but her hope is just the thorns
on a wilted rose.
When you say "Goodbye, I love you,"
I just wanna take you away
and show you a better place
than the dashboard and the faces
people make.
Pain.It strikes quicklyalmost unnoticedalmost unfelt.It settles in stages-A fear, a sadness,you shiver, you shakeyou feel the heart quakecrumblethe feeling sinks in
Can you feel it?
Those minute movements
under the skin of your chest?
Every tick of the clock
becomes a suture,
tying together
the shattered remains of the
past.
Sealed with foreward
Go on now, let me be.
My mama gonna' get you when she see.
Leave me alone, please let me rest.
Then he say she dont care Bess.
Well, for the record thats my name and im as young of seven.
Bam, the door closes
Your toe is in between
Oww, oww, you yell and jump around while holding your leg
Sensory nerves from your toes
Shoots up your body to the brain
Imprisoned Life
Within a cage the heart does cry,
No hope to stand against a lie
And beats in pain to be set free
What happens when you're heart wants to giveBut so much has taken from it that it barely has anything left for itselfYou try and you try to breakdown those walls You try to love again and to trust again
Without a raise of the hand, I stood
Knowing that I could be stifled, I know I did not care.
Without a raise of the hand, I spoke
Meaning no disrespect, but respect was the only matter on my mind.
The sole of the shoe is burnt brown
The body of it is crushed red
These shoes pound the ground
Running away, looking ahead
Mournful weeping rips through leaves
And dewdrop tears rest so silently
And I sit here perched up high
Looking down at the time gone by
I wonder of the years I've wasted
I want to see you smile, and laugh at your little gap.
I want to talk with you, without it feeling like a trap.
You're clever and compelling, and with you there's certainly no telling.
Momma always used to say, “God laughs at the plans you make.”
But that was just a chance I had to be willing to take.
Empathetic, kind-hearted, containing the true values of life
I can't believe I was so blind,
To see the mistakes I made,
To see all the chances I could have taken,
To see all the things that went wrong,
To see all the things I could have prevented.
yondjshkjfhdljkssfjahfkdsjh hgjhgjkhgkjhgkjhgkjhgjYou left me wrong. You left me all behind. To grow alone, empty hearted. You left me wrong. To cry alone. To find out on my own. You left me wrong. iI thought i would hate you forever.
I’ve dealt with a lot.
I’ve been bullied,
I’ve been heart broken,
I’ve been ignored,
I’ve been abandoned,
I’ve been invisible,
I’ve been a target.
They tell me it’s just the
dads, i've had somedaddy's, more than onemisters i've had tonsbut i've never had YOU...gone before i could blinknever did YOU thinkwhat will happen to the girlI leave behind
I am hurting do you hear my cry of despair?
Is it it possible its hiding behind the nothingness that isn't there?
Our world the place we call home the one we beckon to night till dawn,
Im a normal school girl
Attending my last year in high school and I still see it
Something students like me are unappreciative about
I'll push my heart into hiding. Let it be smothered and suffocated, until it becomes a pearl. The only thing that's shining in the hollow remains of a girl. Being numb felt much better than I could've imagined.
You say you are sorry, / And leave. / Which adds to my burdens, / I heave. / You say "I love you," / Then stab, / The sensitive heart, / I do have. / You say that you want me. / Ignored, / As I pour myself out, / On the floor.
I am leaving my roots. / Off to the prison I go. / I am leaving my home. / Off to the vast unknown. / I am leaving the love. / Off to where hate will roam. / I am leaving the hugs. / Off to where I'm alone. / I am leaving myself behind.
As the trees become pale
The life sucked out of fragile leaves.
The sky, covered in dull, meaningless clouds.
I watch as Earth welcomes Winter
With a friendly, extended hand.
pitter-patter like little feetraindrops tapping on mine pane
bitter burns hiss and slitherremembrance dismantles my sane
moist summers and eerie chimesfingertips lost within your mane
Please Note: There is a trigger warning for this poem.
As she covers her arms, she covers her whole world.
A world rooted in pain
With no gain
Of freedom from The Blade.
Grab a hand and stand together
let here a heartfelt welcome
hand by hand race by race
together we stand equal
strong and firm
We are never alone
so be a friend and lend an ear
When I made you smile, I felt something.
Like fire.
When you spoke those words, my cheeks burned.
Like fire.
When you took my hand nervously, it kindled me.
Like fire.
Blood drippingLegs closedArms coveredFeelings exposed
Hearts racingWounds unhealedMorbid thoughtsLips are sealed
Alone AloneYou left againA knife in my backIgnorant men
You haven't talked to me in weeks
And I'm damn sure it's my fault or another
As I watch the sky stratify
Into blues from cerulean to robin's egg
And the people I pass are just shades in a jaded life.
There is a time when one must step back
and see the tens of thousands of backstories
working together to build
one
using only the tissue of the heart.
They carve in and haul out,
I used to believe in 11:11 wishes,
Used to dream of midnight kisses,
I believed in these things and much more,
But all that was in a time long, long, before,
Before the boy ripped at my chest,
Words cannot explain
how much you mean to me
nothing could ever compare
or even ever be
You're my Dad, my one and only
you're my leaning post
although I love my family
Life; funny as it may be; daring as it should
Could not compare to this, or so it would
All problems faced to the majority as a whole
when the Sun is alive
so am I
the unimaginable dream is mine
fog will remain in my path
but fire in my eyes, boldly.
there is a dawn that rises
unshakeable and endless
like the core of soul
Each day that summer
I spent it with you
Enjoying our sweet time
Doing what ever we wanted to
You made it special
One I could never foget
I had the best time of my life
Violent reds swirling
Drowning the pitiful fading white tint
Vibrant crimson clouds shrouding the canvas
Angst
Self loathing
Fear
A tainted brownish purple explodes and shatters inner thoughts
Growing up, looking up to you.
Turned into me looking down on you.
You were irresponsible and somewhat greedy.
Needing money here and there.
You were criticized and yelled at.
Tonight I am quiet.
I sit alone in my almost clean room—old
Coke bottles stand on my shelves,
filled with pop tabs, bits of magazines,
a testament to my overwhelming need to hold on
They shape our lives and watch us grow, they are a part of us. They humiliate us and make us laugh, you can't help but to love them. However, ometimes things don't go as planned, it spirals out of control and leaves you feel breathless.
You sat alone every first day of school and hoped, no, prayed that no one sat next to you.
And when they did, you ignored them; it wasn’t long before they said hello, but you had already put your earphones in.
I met him that day at summer camp.
He was tall, and he was inspiring, and he was beautiful.
But his father was taken away from him so suddenly,
And the pain burned a hole inside of him that seemed too big to patch up.
A broken heart is like a broken dreamA wold left cold as stoneA place of darkness never to be seenI see you walk away as tears fill my eyesThis is a world where love can never survive
If I could be anything
I would be a book
Filled with adventures
Dashing heroes
Brave heroines
Cunning villains
There are always
happy endings
and fairytale kisses
Everyone has a time in which they question themselves,
Question thier very existance.
It can make the strongest and happiest people crack.
When you feel like your life is shattered glass
A young man with many dreams,
But lacking the courage to pursue.
It's all so hopeless, it seems.
Whatever should he do?
The world laughs and mocks him,
Calls him revolting names.
The skin that bites the cheek
A curled brow above the eye
An eye for a soar
a star in the sky
Passion ceases to exist
While the beauty never dies
A walk in the park
You’re there but you’re not
You’ve always been a phone call away
But what if that wasn’t enough?
Maybe if you worked 5 days out of the week
There were times when I hungered for what you had.When I begged for you to see me.when it was not my mouth that cried, but my heart.When my spirit bore into yours, and kept a place there,like a hook in your side. But you, a haughty man.
Like a funeral in an hour glass,you wonder, how slow can time pass?Soon the sane will dissipatefulfilling the end you anticipate,but not soon enough.End? I call your bluff!This will go on forever.
It’s this time of year that makes me wish you were here.
It’s hard to enjoy the falling leaves,
When all I have is this burden to heave,
So the next time you see me I want you to remember,
Why do you ignore me
When I know that in your heart we both believe in love?
Why do you forget
That our souls of steel have more hope than anyone?
Why do you hurt
When you see this blood and rage?
I ask the Lord to quiet my soul
It has awoken from its restless sleep
It has caught sight of the ones my heart used to love
and it wonders painfully where all the love has gone
I sit here comforting it as it cries
You still haunt me
As much as I try to pretend
You still have a hold on me
Your smile
Your hair
Your face
Your body
Your soul
It lingers
Close and still to my heart
She really thought it was real this time
She was stubborn that this time, this time he was the one
So she danced with words on her tongue
And made him feel like a prince
He never hit me.
But sometimes it felt like it.
When you see someone punch a bed because of something you said
or smash a windshield because of a fight
you feel like you are to blame.
You See it and can't believe it
You See it and how strong it is
You See it and how beautiful it is
You See it and want to talk to it
You See it and want to hug it
You See it and want to kiss it
I cry everyday for you.
One day you watched me as I weped.
Your face as cold as stone.
Maybe tears are not enough for you.
Maybe I need a little more for you.
Maybe I should just show you,
Some secrets are best kept quiet
But I can hear the lies through the silence
You make eye contact with me while pushing away
Your eyes darken as you press me to say, "Oh darling, I love you, I swear it to be true!"
You know that this is a war,But what are you fighting for?You drop words like bombs,Through the destruction you're still calm.You don't argue for a right,You just argue to start a fight.
Not a sane thought in my head
Just the way you'd run the bed
Keep me in your control
Like a weak pawn
Now you've lost it, Your control gone
I have these bruises on my arms
I knew love, i experienced it once.
Its a spell, one that is used for both good and evil.
It will either chew you up and spit you back up or it can embrace you.
Love comes in all different ways and leaves in heartbreak.
We started our journey
On a path made for two
Her love undivided;
She pledged to be true.
We strolled hand in hand,
A traveling pair.
We confided our lives
And listened with care.
My life; I am
always a toy,
a transient plaything.
Sometimes hazardous, needing to be recalled.
Sometimes subservient, appeasing..
Always shuffled along, eventually.
He swaggered in.
Clockwork heart.
Wind it up
and off it goes.
Don't get too close,
or it might explode.
Dormant, it lies,
therefore unscathed.
It one was new,
pure, whole, expectant.
I'm lost.
But I remember you.
"I'll give up everything.
I love you."
These words were meant for you.
I needed the fire burning in your eyes.
Otherwise I'd be unable to see
You tell me you love me,
Yet you treat me like dirt.
Everything is a game with
You; and you play with my heart.
It gets me to wonder,
It gets me to wonder.
The way we share smiles,
Words. You say them all the time. They are stuck in my mind. I can still hear, the way you said them. Do you not realize, the damage they cause? You say them about her, and she says them about you.
Suffering inside with this emotion,
Knowing that this love is impossible.
My feelings, disrupted, like the ocean.
I wish you weren't so admirable.
I love your unique personality,
Oh hold my Heart ,Hold it near ,never ever let it fear,
For if it fears ,then it will cry ,But you never ever hold it so near ,
Why is that Dear?Do you remember all the Tears that Sear on my Heart ,oh Dear?
These haunting memories refuse to go away; making life more difficult day by day. I remember the happy times, when my heart was unshattered, and his love was all that really mattered. looking in his eyes lightened up my soul with liberation, ho
I was a boy who was so confused.
I felt like a hopeless toy.
The joy starts to flow like the skies of my light.
It's hard to reminisce the battle wounds.
It guided me through my shame.
Green valleys lush with beauty,
Mountain ranges and forests as far the eye can see,
Seas, the ports of Akyab, and rivers flowing magnificently,
However, all of this is contrasted by the inhuman cruelty,
What am I gonna do when you’re gone?
Because you couldn’t let anybody in to hear the cries of your sad song.
So tell me what am I gonna do when you’re gone?
Not many people know I have a stepfather…
Her soul is married to anger
Their fingers intertwine like dreadlocks
As they drift away into the eyes of each other
Just one quick motion,
One quick slit down the wrist.
That’s all she needed to ease her pain
She never considered how others felt
How I felt
I thought that I could light the darkness that grew in her heart
I use to stay up
until quarter after 2
in the morning
just to make sure
you made it home
I use to hold
your hand
during the scary part of the movie
so you would know
All I wanted was to feel wanted
All I wanted was your love
All I wanted was your touch
But instead I was left
Hurt
Disgusted
And Used
Orange...
It's the color of you
You always wore it
It's the color we shared
As we hid from them
With it we showed our true selves,
Though no one cared
As our orange bookbags
What do I look like being loved?
Who am I to be cared for?
Who am I to love another?
when I'm not sure how strong love can be
not knowing its true strenght but knowing all its poison
i usually have a wall that reaches the sky, but you, you really made it disappear.
there was something about you that really made me take down that wall, brick by brick.
Why do I have to go through this?
Why can't my life just be full of bliss?
These questions go through my head everyday.
I just want to break away,
Break away from my life,
Put on the makeup. Dry your tears. Smile for the camera. Don't ever tell anyone. Everyone already knows. He hit you again last night. He'll hit you again tonight, like every night before, and every night to come. Leave him you tell yourself.
They complained of her bad attitude, they told her that it annoyed them. But what they didnt know was that behind the anger she hid all of the emotions that she could never tell anyone of.
I believed that we wereSo in loveBecause you made me feel so sure
BUT
You started slipping awayand Icouldn’t do anythingBut cry.
THENYOULEFT
I lay in bed thinking of you once again
It's like you're filling up my mind
With dangerously deadly mines
You've implanted in my brain
You could feel the pain
In his spoken words
Every word hurt more than the one before
He got so close to tears
Ready to disappear
The way your eyes lit upThe way your mouth smiledThe way you used to laughWhat happened to all that
We were once inseparableWe were once capableNothing came in-between Now we're only once upon a time
I'm just a girl who is trying to find the answers. Lost in the dark wanting to find the light, but I'm not alone here. Something is in the dark with me, something painful, sad, and depressing. He goes by the name of Misery.
Smoldered eyes stare back in a glaze
Her purple lips and skin like a maze
The icy touch of Death is bare
The color of death in her strands of hair
Her flesh now paler than snow
As she lie in her grave below
Shes hurting.
Struggling to see the bright side of the night.
Always seems to be asking the lord why? Always trying to put up a fight.
In a cloud of disappointments , she doesnt see a reason to be here.
Fallen into the deep Abyss of my dreams.I stand in a valley filled with Different hues of green.An ever flowing river Runs nearby.The sun shines downUpon me.A figure more luminous
Because the Dark has you Now.
The slow seduction of a sleepless love is never enough
to satisfy a craving hunger hidden within our psyche
a deeper unconscious that brings fear to your eyes
So I'm finally reunited with my friend at long last, She is a close and dear friend from my past. Back then, everytime we talked was a moment of bliss, I was always thinking, "Man, it couldn't get any better than this." You see, back then I was
They said that I'd be fine
And I believed it to be true
Until at the next moment
My eyes fell upon you
My heart began to beat off rhythm
As my vision became blind
Death it's funny how it comes in all hours of the day and night.......Maybe that's why it fills us with so much fright.......Some say it's that unwanted ghest hear to take you to your final rest........But I believe it's much more you see a metamo
The trust that I gave you was nothing more than a gift of mineIn which you used that to your advantage Waiting opening the gift with secrets all of mineAnd one of yours which was the most important secret of them allThat in which I did not see the
Hurt from all the pain,
i just want to run away,
in a safer place I'll be
put out of my misery,
i point the gun towards me,
and slowly count to three
Il est de la plus riche couleurCelle d’une cerise mûreOu peut-être d’une fleurQu’on donnerait à son amoureux.
If I were to lose you now
I don't know where I'd be.
You took your last bow
On the stage where you once felt free.
My tears would become streams,
With horrible feelings; the colour black.
Enough is enough
We try to be tough
But with you screaming and yelling
Being tough is not working
On the outside I'm fine
On the inside I'm dying
At times I feel like crying
First day of high school, I wore a dress to impress and I guess I was subjective to the people that I messed with, but it didn't stop there. People were staring at the waistline of my elastic that made me look fat.
The darkness encloses slowly,
Circling my mind and keeping
Me from feeling anything.
Why am I always so alone?
Secretly weeping a river
Of memories to slip,
I was close
So close
To letting you go
Then you came back
Back into my life
Told me how you love me
How you've missed me
So I return those truths
Hope boiling over
Now I sit here
I hate you. I want you out of my life. I lied.
I love you. I wanted to make things work. I tried.
Your actions as well as your words cut me deep.
In every way I let my confidence show/I was able to remember every inch that I grow/Came from the ability to live up to this day/Letting my feet move up another space/Trying not to curve off the path I set for myself/Still clinging to the hope tha
Who are you to say they're not watching?
Who are you to say they can not help?
Why do you have no faith in better days?
I promise they are coming;
Now, it may seem like forever.
If this is living,
I'm not sure if I want to live.
If only I could move.. just get away,
but I can only go where I am taken to.
No one seems to like me and they seem to think
Mountain ridges arise from your back
Everything is broken
gloves on, real friends, fake friends
No Tongue
Raven at your window
get out get out get out
permanent, this
It's just another feeling,
What I see, through these
Brown eyes of mine.
The feelings never shown,
As the feeling stay inside.
Appearing in the reflection of lights,
Mystical and quiet, with sea deep eyes,
Her form changing day and night,
The creature I see who brings me fright.
Its 2013 and nothing has changed.
I sit with my homies and brothers ever estranged.
Watching all these people looking at us as if we are to blame.
Its 2013 and nothing has changed.
Open up these swollen eyes
Looking up at ashen skies
Cold rain pelts my cheek
I feel as though I'm so weak.
Sorrow swelling in my chest
I need some to find a way, time to rest.
sitting here all alone...No one to hold me tight.
As the frowning comes,the tears appear...the razor comes out...I notice, its clean
no blood, no skin, nothing
One tear. From a woman. A beautiful, elderly lady. Fifty-five years of marriage.
One tear. Two sisters sitting in the front row, that loved him for seventy-seven years.
There's a rough path to your dreams, kid.
You're going to get beat down and maybe even run over,
You're going to reach a point where you feel like you can't take anymore.
Not everyone can throw money at their problems,
He taught her how to fly and soar
only to break her wing.
And he could've saved her when she fell
but decided to do nothing.
Instead he locked her in a cage,
refused to tend her wing.
Amidst a wasteland
you danced with me.
You twirled me around
on the caps of the sea.
I swore I was flying.
You swore that you loved me.
But I found myself falling
In the beginning were my words,
And my words were formed by God;
And my words reflected my dolorous anguish.
With my heart shattered to dust
By the brusqueness and lackadaisical
She is the ghost haunting you,
She created the fear.
She wasn't the victim
Which is why you and I are now here.
She was the one cracking the whip,
She broke your fragile skin.
Some nights I still dream of you.
I picture you in your favorite chair.
Your eyes fixed on the latest headline,
The sun awoke in the vast cerulean sky.
The grass, green and fresh with dew,
Sparkled in the morning sunlight, like tiny fragments of sharp glass.
Rainbows flitted across the meadow, halting against giant pale grey stones.
Life is hard and as much as I want to deny this simple fact, I must come to face it.
I was once in love with a man who was, at the time, an amazing person both inside and out.
Though loud they revert to mumbles
All through the night their words rumbles
Their tales a story referenced
Only to the wise do they give preference
Their thoughts I want to ravage
Has my soul faded into deep darkness
Overpowered by a blazing hot pain.
A unknowing feeling of a true mess
The memories of you keeping me sane.
Not even the idea of feeling
Just like summer comes after spring,winter comes after fall.Just like what goes up,must come down.
Why I Write
God told me to write
So I write about the pain I feel inside
I write about the tears that are left behind
Deep underwater
Remnants of the past twinkle
Trapping all who grasp for their comfort
The cold, unforgiving comfort
Of a wanted past
And a watery future.
Fireflies blink in the dark
Lighting our path from shadow.
Each twitch sends up a spark.
Shining through with a piercing sharpness,
They beckon us to play
Humming on this summer day.
People are ignorant, thinkng she wont run away into the cornfield
She screams, shes online, she hides under her protective shield
Shes hiding away in the cornfield
She posts, no one cares, her wounds unhealed
If the world is listening, Let them hear this; My life is not perfect, My life is not bliss. I'm happy almost never. The sadness always stays. I'm always the one who's wrong. I'm always the one who's to blame.
The chairs are filled
Row by row
In perfect allignment
To watch the ones down the aisle
Look up to the sky
The clouds rippled thick
The crows cry
The wind is nothing more but the wind
That feeling of uselessness
Unable to fulfill the desires of them
What did they want of a child in the first place?
A child in his teen years
Leaving a note for his mother
What would you of seen if you saw my picture...
You'd gush and say she was beautiful,
but only after death hit's me.
You don't know my story,
the years I stuggled with a blade,
Yelling is all that I hear
Telling me that I am not worth the time
Selfish, stupid, and lazy
Trying to be who I am not
Attempting to find the one I'm supposed to be
She was an astronaut and he was a poet. He's known of her since elementary school.He's known her since before he knew of the words he should've used to describe the way she jumped off the jungle gym like Armstrong stepping on the moon for the firs
I been hated, I been loved but most of all i been hurt.
I have felt the sting of hate the embrace of love and the burn of heartache.
The pain that last an eternity and feels like a knife.
The artificial smiles, the spewing lies,
The uninterested lovers, and partners in crime,
The "must focus" and pushes as the way to the door,
The success of our futures is what we were here for,
As I drink my sweet tea,
I remember my Southern upbringing.
Running barefoot through the fields
with my half-naked cousins
and trying to avoid getting a whooping
for playing in the mud.
I write because I was born in a place like hell
Where, I dare tell
Abuse is what my mother chose
After the finishing the bottle the anger arose.
There were usually some scars and bruises
I pick it up, my mind goes wild
I move it around, my heart smiles.
The way it moves on this sheet of white
Makes the words in black a beautiful sight.
My thoughts cannot be hidden here,
I was young, and I was Different
Even though I was odd, I was also still innocent
The agony, the deceit right in front of my eyes
Yet I was too blind, maybe even paralyzed
You sicken me that time in my past,
when you played with me
like I was a puppet a show for all of hell
to see. My motions little,
my emotions running rapid
like the heart beat in my chest
He took part in an act off delusion,
something that he was curving for his solutions.
Hypothetically speaking I gave him roses to match his questions, as his beacon.
But he tries to match his words with his reasons,
I hate you so much don't you know
That I can't stand you, why won't you go
You make me scream and hold my head
As I sob and wish that you were dead
I remember back when I had cared
On this dark, cloudy dayI look and see myself lying by the riverLooking so coldI can practically taste the chill
Frigid,
and hard as stone.
Still,
and unbeating.
Can this heart
possibly
feel love?
I think not...
Arrogant,
and aloof.
I'm cut down day by day, told this and that. Never have my parents say "I'm proud of you". Always hear them say "Do what's practical". I don't care if what I want is practical ro not I just want to be me.
i sit there quiet as a mouse watching you scream back and forth. i sit there wanting you to stop wanting to say something to make it end. i sit there my stomach in my throat confused at why you are yelling.
Remember when the only thing that scared us was the shadow in our room.
We would be scared to look under the bed. And the closet was our only enemy.
Life seemed simpler when we were young.
To my past love you decided your own fate. You had me hurt and in a uncontrollable state. I had the false reality you were going to stay my mate.
I turn away from the heat, from the light,
turn away from every last memory I have of you.
Everything we had was in that house.
You left it all behind;
left it for me to deal with.
Why is it that the one person you try so hard to care about
Can't seem to get the message through their head?
Are they blinded by emotion?
Does you even matter to them?
Shes blind
She walks around thinking they are really her friends
Thinking that he truly loves her
She is deaf
Hearing only what she wants
The rumors are nothing but a lie
for a while i seen the signs
but didnt take heed
pretending to be blind to the fact that you
werent the one for me
i was aware of the fact that you were not happy
You've changed?
You once loved me and called me everyday
Now you rarely say my name
You've changed?
It all started when distance was put between us
Seperated by only a few miles
On a day where the leaves fall flawlessly through the hot spots in the sky floating to find a soul to be crumbled and crunched by On a day where your eyes sparkle more then the stars at night seraching for a touch of love to bring your dark heart
Wounds from my past still sting. I try not to bring myself to that time again. Why can't things just be like when I was a kid? Having no knowledge of anything. Just care-free and dumb.
You ever get so frustrated with the world, your heart begins to race your fingers start to curl, until your knuckles crack, searching for the reasoning behind your anger but the knowledge of it all you lack..so you sit back and try and withhold ev
Blows harsh hits of rality
with strikes so hard they cause
internal bleeding. The wounds
appear to be only surface deep
but mentally these wounds cause
mental catastrophic fatalities
I’m from
Six months in a clustered, condensed, claustrophobia-inducing,
Guidance office
Learning that I’m normal.
Seconds,
Minuets,
Hours,
Days,
Weeks,
Months,
Years.
All spent on you.
Me,
Laughing with you,
Making memories with you,
Loving you.
Life has become to stray
Wanting to go away forever and a day
On time for the first bus ride
Just because you are trying to hide
You left because your parents hate
Honestly they didn’t want you to become bait
Life experiences shaped me but ain't mold me
Till this day, I still remember what people told me
Told me I'd never be anything
I'd never rise
But now as I look, I see there's a part of me missing
I write to express the things I will never say. My thoughts of grief and joy. I write those feelings that others are wont to deny. I write when I feel broken, broken to where I am not certain of who I am.
These hands of mine
Carry the burden given by us all
The labor of surviving in the wild concrete jungle
Demonstrates itself in the form of sweat trickling
Pores widening, opening itself up to the world
There will be a day when you ignore someone you loved dearly.
There will be a day when you will never see who use to be your best friend.
There will be a day when you smile along with your worst enemies.
Once upon a time
there lived a boy
Raised in neutral conditions
Had a favorite toy
Didn’t have a lot of thing
That he could enjoy
Always been creative
And would never destroy
He grew up
Unrelenting tears of muscle
That reshape itself and this is
labeled as getting in shape
To endure such tears you need
hustle
Hustle to finish what you have started
Pause
Now go back to living
Like my dad did on rice and grits
Lost many and gained few to none new buddies
I don't call them friends
Trust and depend on them first
To rip apart my back and front
Plagued with infidelity
She fornicates in rhythms and melody
Driven by jealousy
In search of intimacy so she lies next to him
She says it isn’t love but she says it wasn’t lust
First glance
of eyes
opening,
Learned life
while running,
Sorrow
through the
times hoping,
Eyes closing
soft and slowly
Behind her smile, there’s a child with enormous dreams and improbable chances of reaching them.
Behind her smile, is a mother that struggles to make ends meet every month.
How is perfection defined,
with collarbones?
or a gap between my thighs?
Perfection is all we see.
because images of beauty
reflect our insecurities.
Perfection is in my reach,
Tender little treasure,
I can see how broken you are;
How much pain you hold secret inside.
Hide away!
Close yourself off from unwanted destruction.
Shy away from those who may hurt you.
hiding behind a mask
shielding myself from the word's hurt
you would never know I wasn't happy
hiding behind my mask
is a heart full of pain
My Brain, I want to shoot it.
My heart, I want to cut it.
For my feelings I don't want to feel one bit.
When these two things fight it out, it's hard to hear which one is screaming out loud.
such a sweet sorrow
yet delicate as a lilly
but raged as fire
to be put out with
more love
damages fixed with
kindness and compassion
love
true love
such a beuty
but slowly it creeps back over us…
just as discreet as spiders on the wall after midnight.
without our consent paradise becomes hell,
our motives have no consideration.
our minds dissolve in anger
Idiocracy is a word that describes the fool
I fall in this category
All because I keep finding myself falling
Once again for you.
When she lays for bed it is you who runs through her head
Even though the two of you have been apart for so long she doesn’t know how not to hold on
I want to lay my pain in between your legs
I want to forget about the things going through my head
Why don’t you invite me inside your bed
I want you to seduce me from my hurt
I want you to think of me as your first
7 years ago I lost my mother to love.
She walked away with hate in her eyes.
I remember the day she grabbed me and said, "leave this house and never come back. I love Benny and I want to start my life with him".
Meeting you was all I ever wanted.
You made my wildest dreams come true.
I dreamt of what we would be every night before I went to bed and into my sleep.
The thing with dreams is, they aren't real.
Anger. Hatred. Jealousy. Tears. Happiness. Joy. Glee.
For all the emotions the world throws at me, I write.
I write when I sit in a class that's getting too hard.
Right about now, I don't know what i'll do without him. I know he needs me, I can Hear it in his voice. Nobody else cares the way I do. Right I jest don't know what to do. I could easily be with someone else. I am' but it's not the same.
I know I wasn't supose to tell anybody about us, but i'd give anything to have your lips against mines once more. I hope you forgive me. Can we start over...? Or will there be no other option? I know I will sit and think on this for many of days.
Her heart is so cold but the tricks are getting old, playing a game that's already been played, telling a story that's already been told. A thousand times, thousand lies, a thousand thoughts, a thousand cries. She hides her pain, so ashamed.
It hurts so much to know that I'm at the bottom of the pot.
He chooses everyone before me
But still uses me to get his nut
I let him because it gives me a high
That only lasts while he takes me for a ride.
Maybe there are icicles on your tongue
maybe your tonsils are the poles
maybe you can't help the bitter frostbitten breath you bark at me.
Don't try to explain yourself
I know the truth
I never want to be by myself
never wanted to hurt you.
I hope you don't think of her anymore.
How could a love so sure bring so many questions?
Trust is no issue but I feel like I'm being tested.
Constantly she plagues you in your nightmares and your dreams,
Sometimes, I find myself lost in your eyes
I never knew love until I saw you
My empty heart only knew its demise
But you, somehow, were able to break through.
You were the beauty and I was the beast
I was whole, once.
At least I think so.
Just because I can't remember not feeling like a mixed up jig-saw puzzle
doesn't mean I wasn't ever a complete entire unit...
Right?
Or maybe I'm wrong.
shove it into a corner and push it away
the voice that eerily chimes his name
Squeeze your eyes shut and leap away-
you can't face another day
run through a corridor- frozen in time
You call, I pick up, and here goes the bull
You hang up, I look, and here comes the emotion
I tell myself I'm through
That I'm never dealing with you
Again.
Part I: The Path lit by Darkness
Dear little light,
My little light,
Why did you fly away?
The Darkness has come and taken me,
Now who hath I to help me see?
Part I: The Path lit by Darkness
Dear little light,
My little light,
Why did you fly away?
The Darkness has come and taken me,
Now who hath I to help me see?
I listen to the sound of your footsteps
And the floorboards creak with your motions
The same old rickety ebony that’s held us up for the past 5 years
Never once complaining as out footsteps left imprints on its back
Challenged with it all my life.
The kids laughing,
the kids talking.
Enemies and friends alike.
We sit here and cry
Reminiscing on the times
That you were on earth with us.
The love you showed,
The stories you told
All became a part of us.
Love hurts, It's the worse.
Some say better to have then to never have at all.
I disagree, when she left everything I had began to fall.
Heart broken with every phone call, Thinkin' that is you.
You insult and put me down.
You threaten to take my life.
I say take it.
I say put your money where your mouth is.
Your words may hurt me but you’ll never see a tear drop.
Your anger feeds my flame.
My world was turning
crashing.
I try to stand
one hand against the wall.
Efforts with no reward
left in vain.
Aching painfully
tears of frustration running down my face.
Everything is turning.
Let me twist the plot
and tell you of the story of the
“she loves me not”s
she picks the petals only to find
Its says “I love you” every time
but try as they might
the petals cant tell
Being someone’s option is never a good feeling
Hoping and praying to be someone’s one and only
Just to be told that you were just a choice that wasn’t chosen
It doesn’t feel too good
I stand with empty hands,
Scars on my wrists,
I didn’t know life would hurt like this.
Blood flows from an open wound,
Tears fall and burn,
Don’t get too concerned.
Astounded
By your lies.
Can’t think straight
Devouring your promises
Entire days burned by what you did.
Feeding off my purity
Get out of my head.
Hating you
Is becoming easier.
A heart broken by one once trusted
A heart broken by one once loved
A heart broken by once believed in
That heart still lays waiting
It lays waiting to be fixed
Waiting to be made whole
Mommy, I wish you never painted my room pink.
Why weren't the walls white?
Why did you let me choose the sparkling sandcastles as my border?
I remember them glistening like my tears do now.
Thursday morning, just like any other
I wake up. the vibe is different.
I have yet to find out, but
something is wrong
Pain throughout my body,
Legs, back and feet.
Oh god this hurts, what did I do?
Nothing works,
Not heat nor ice, pills or massage.
Sigh, just let this suff'ring end.
I've always been told be all you can be
"On the rate you're going you have so much to achieve"
That's what I would tell myself yet, to some that's not what it seems
Make straight A's become All-Area and 1st team
What is this I'm doing?
Falling from a building?
Left and right building move swiftly around me...
Below the hard surface 3....2....1...
Close my eyes hope to die...
Splat...or so I would have thought...
I Love You
The most special words a guy could have said
We'll live happily ever after, like those fairytales I've read
Kiss me softly, whisper sweet nothings in my ear
like the way an entire scarf can be
unrecognizable
if you pull the right strings
like the way a teapot
shatters
when you drop it
like the way a melody is
distorted
when you add an extra sharp
I’ve grown cold, numb to the hurt I used to feel because of you. Never will I shed another tear because of you. You played me. Us I no longer see the world through innocent naive eyes. You made me grow up.
You send monsters to kill me,
Yet sings that I never die.
How is it that you praise my ending-
And hold your breath as I wake?
As if I’m just your trojan pond.
No one knows how I feel
No one knows what I want
They laugh and laugh
As if they don't care
I am dependent——maybe codependent.
I am sick——I am fine.
(I’m everything I wish I weren’t.)
Today I am fine. I am fine. I am fine.
And I suppose that is one of my greater lies.
I am I am I am I am… Fine?
(poems go here) You don't accept the truth.
Can you not see me.
Can't you see I'm broken.
I'm scattered sand.
Showing my emotions through my eyes.
The scars and bruises on my skin.
When in her eyes and in her fractured voice,
The ache hurts even I, who knows no pain,
The tears in scarlet eyes, they have no choice
But now to fall and mar her face again.
I'm ready now
Ready for your bullshit
I can take this fight
this battle
this war
This never-ending game of drawing circles while you hog all the pencils but I
Have the eraser
I met a man and his name was Mr. Lonely
How did I know? Because he told me
He kept asking me to make it stop
I asked him what he meant, but he said he couldn't tell me
It’s a new year
Time to not shed a tear
It is time for a change
And don’t act like its strange
Over a year I have let you control me
I think its that time you just let me be
Yes we stopped dating
It’s a new year
Time to not shed a tear
It is time for a change
And don’t act like its strange
Over a year I have let you control me
I think its that time you just let me be
Yes we stopped dating
It’s a new year
Time to not shed a tear
It is time for a change
And don’t act like its strange
Over a year I have let you control me
I think its that time you just let me be
Yes we stopped dating
How might one describe the rain?
How it patters, how it falls?
Emotion is grasped in fleeting droplets
Feeling is washed by recycled water
Self is contained, self is released
You Feel The Heart Break And Insane Pain , See The Tears Of Sorrow And Tears From Thoughts Of The Past , Thoughts Of The Words From The Irrelevant , The Ones Who Said They Loved But Really Didn't , The Ones You Cared For But Never Had One Thought
These hands delve into the ground to remake what I once found
When I was better and my conscience was light as a feather
I made this as empty as I feel, but now I'm not alone
I am a weight eroding those
drunken delirious striving for an invisiable force that leaves me everytime I feel like life has flooded back into these hollow eyes,crusted lips and skulled face.
broken and alone
scared and empty
what lies behind these hollow walls of a body is a torture soul
Judgmental comments float about
As abundant as the air we breathe
Criticism being thrown at us by society
The pressure of being beautiful, intelligent, flawless
Who has the right to define these words?
A human on earth.
It doesn't live forever.
A human hurts.
Feels pain in ever which way.
As i sit here.
I drown in memories.
Pressing me. Crushing me. Killing me.
A human on earth.
It doesn't live forever.
A human hurts.
Feels pain in ever which way.
A i sit here.
I drown in memories.
Pressing me. Crushing me. Killing me.
Shall I compare thee to a siren?
Thou art more seductive and charming.
With a song that is a melodic sin,
And beauty seen best in spring.
Sometimes a man strides through,
My dearest Silence.
How are you these days?
I, myself, have been better.
You may be wondering, Silence, why I’ve written this.
I do not know for sure, but I’ve been told it might help
Once again she stood, her mirror before,
Scanning the work that need be done.
'Twas time again to rise and face yet
Another day under the sun.
You push him down
you call her names
causing so many frowns
and so much shame
Why do you need
to push and shove
is it from greed?
or a lack of love?
come sit by my side.
i waited for you twenty seven years.
vain fantasies and
aches and
eventual numbness.
They lay with no bed,
They lay with no sheet,
They stay on the floor,
They stay with out heat,
They sleep with no dream,
They sleep with only fear,
They wake with no love,
They wake with a tear,
The questions in my mind,
Answers hard to find.
If I may be so bold…
How can you be so cold?
Temperature below zero,
I’d rather hug my pillow.
Indifference cuts right through,
Without pain….
You would not know of badness,
Or goodness
You would not know what is wrong,
Or what is right
You would not know of darkness in the mind,
Or light in the soul
(poems go here) I know there’s no hope for us, but when you love someone you don’t give up.
So I keep holding on hoping one day we can move along,
Onto a new stage, and we’re go through a new phase.
They Say
They say we're doing something don't they?
In the news, on the radio
They Say our country needs us
right? right?
I've been dried in a desert of tan
So you thought I wouldn’t notice and under the circumstance I almost didn’t. Remote from my problems, you hide with your perfectly sealed lips, relying solely on your vision.
Hello
My name is Ashleigh
I am a 19 year old African American female that was born in December
Not only am I trying to succeed in beating out the statistics
I am also proving that I can and will be something
Do you recognize your own lines, or do you turn a blind eye to lies that deceived me...if you're going to be an ass, at least be an honest ass.
hell is when you cannot stop the tears
and you're stuck alone on a public bus
and everyone stares at you with pity
while you cry silently and pray to God
that you don't break into sobs.
and you do.
Your love was intangible, out of my scope
Joker, u desired nothing more than to create a fool out of me,
Like the tongue that gets burned from the yearn of hot tea
They say
A small stream carved
The Grand Canyon
Maybe that's why
I'm so afraid
of water
Crumble
(you're tired)
Remember when you caught me
Bleeding in my bed
Hands and face the deepest shade of red
And I was floating
Through those stars that you call eyes
That are brighter than the sunrise and
I once knew a child whose burden was light
With a heart so pure and eyes so bright.
They sang and danced to music no one could hear
With the voices of rain whispering in their ear.
We were good together
Bound by love
But then it all came crumbling down
Because of Him
He stood there so silent
The twinkle in His eyes seemed so harmless
But He took my love from me
To see the one I love, happy, means the world to me
Even if that means I've got to set him free
I love him
But he loves someone else
I was strong when I was questioned about my gender.
I was strong when people made fun of the way I looked.
I was strong when my "friends" turned the class on me.
I was strong when I had no one to turn to...to call friend
I will never fall in love for fear of a constantly harrowed heart
Sometimes it’s not the act that gets us.
It’s the reaction that hit us.
It’s the pain that we can’t explain.
Using solvents to erase our brains.
Going to and from not knowing which is which.
I hear the Angel's thunderous cries
Commanding you to stop.
The largest of the troupe comes near
And kneels before your face;
Eye to eye
Bodies so close.
You ache to reach out and touch
Kiss me, shove me, break me
Turn these shades to black & blue,
Peel back this skin, make it new
Love me, hate me, infuriate me
Scream a little louder; I can't hear you,
If my heart was singing
It'll crescendo lovely notes
Repeatedly singing
I want a sunday kindof love
So I don't mourn monday
Leave me broken on tuesday
Over thinking on wednesday
Drip
Drop
Will it ever stop?
The hurt
The pain
Blood dried on my shirt
And still nothing to gain
Why does the pain still persist?
My happiness is so greatly missed.
Inside I am screaming
I'm the shadow in a rainbow
I'm the anger in a smile
I'm a raincloud on a sunny day
The tenth number in a dial
I wake up but keep my eyes closed.
I just lay there in my bed.
Seems like everyday is the same,
I hear the same old story playing over and over in my head.
A silent killer
A disastrous ghost
we give this to those
who hurt us the most
A beautiful rose
in the scene
forgetting the thorns
that are left "unseen."
Love life
love hard
times move on
whether you were a part of them
at all
can't move
so stop trying
hearts bleeding
eyes crying
there's an expiration date
Cause if I sit here and think of the fact that you used me, confused me, I’d lose me.
But screw that I don’t think I act, matter of fact I’ll leave so quick you won’t feel no impact.
Adonis, Greek god of beauty
And desire.
When you’ve been crawled up
In the corner, tucking your knees in
To feel the dying flesh
Of your past pressed tight
Words began slipping from the creases of your mouth.
I tried stopping them,
Catching them with my bare hands,
But I couldn't stop them.
I never could control you.
I knew that when I’d fall asleep, I’d only dream of you.
And of the Last rose I’d ever get from the man that loved me too.
And when the night is over, I wake up and I cry.
Am I good enough? Who are you to say I’m good enough? Who am I to say I’m not? Not adequate, not worthy. Worthy of the things I have and more, and the things that God has in store . . . for me you see it is not easy to speak highly of myself.
People want EVERYTHING you have but fail to realize there was a time you had NOTHING.
All they see are the good days that go so well, they always seem to miss the days everything fail.
Finger tips gliding up her dress,
She didn’t like the feeling of hands on her hips.
His lips spoke sweet words that melted in her mouth.
His passion was poison to calm her soul down.
I’m from beaches and sand
I’m from a shattered life that raises and still stands
From new beginnings with new troubles
I’m from a place destroyed with rubbles
you doing right while everyone does wrong
leaves you singing a quiet song
here right now i’ll do the MATH
why it’s hard to take the honorable path
ADD all those parties look like fun
Whenever I see somebody with their dad,
I feel so very sad.
I miss you more than words can express,
And I cry more than the rest.
I don't know what to do now that you are gone.
How will I ever move on?
No Beat
twenty one days, new beat,
dark,warm, happy
small so very small and undistinguished
but that'll change, I'll get bigger,
my clay-like features won't be so undistinguished.
Stay Strong” they tell you
but they don’t seem to understand.
You stayed strong for as long as you could
And now you’re letting go
Can’t you see,
I’m trying to be optimistic.
Everything you did,
I try my hardest to forget it.
Don’t wanna hurt you
By acting like I’m so resented.
But we’ve done it before,
A wish is one thing that comes deep from the heart, it is pure and grows strong and will never depart.
To wish and receive is the greatest of all, yet it seems to die down like a deflating ball.
I’ve found my new addiction,
these pretty little pills.
I line them up and sort them,
taking them by will.
Each pill holds a meaning of it’s own,
memories of the past will soon feel like home.
Little girl, why so sad?
Tired of being pushed down again and again?
Well my dear there’s a simple solution,
no, no, you won’t go mad.
It’s simple really, but you mustn’t be fooled,
If He Really Loved You
would we be having this conversation?
would you be stuck in this situation?
would he have left with no hesitation?
go ahead and answer the questions cause im waitin’
The imagery echoes in brain,
Never stopping and no gain.
Same thing over and over,
But no matter what there is no closure.
You promised a chance
A moment to prove,
To leave all out on the court
There is nothing to lose.
Yet alone here I sit
Observing, lightheaded, voice sore,
The encouragement failing
I left thee
in the waters
of my cold
and crashing words
they descended on you-
dark and foaming-
as the world’s most bitter storm
how dare you say good-bye!
how dare you leave me to rot!
Memories, tragedies, love and loss.
I can’t wrap my finger around what it is,
that messes me up like this.
Is it the way you left or what you said,
That constantly replays in my head?
Breathing, thinking, listening
As I lie in bed awake
Worrying and waiting
There's a fear I cannot shake
I thought u were different from the rest. You really put my trust and patience to the test. Right beside you I said I'll always be. But instead you take advantage of me. My past is bad it makes me regress, but pushing through is the real test.
How are you?
Is something wrong?
Are you upset?
All empty questions.
You don't care, you never have.
You see the hurt in my eyes, and you look away.
Such sweetness was in her eyes,
But now her heart is made of ice.
I’ve given her scores of chances,
But at most they end up being glances.
I would have given her my life,
But her apathy cuts like a knife.
Outside it's too quiet;
inside it's too loud.
All the words I'm thinking.
The secrets abound.
The loving,
the hating,
the liking,
the hurting.
I wish they would just let me be now,
Each tear-
Another brick.
Each scar-
Another brick.
Each day-
Another brick.
I opened my heart to you-
Another wall entirely.
Will you help me build it?
Curled in the corner she cries for comfort
It’s the only thing she can do
Or should she say that is the only thing that she can call her own
Tears
Beaten and raped, she had nothing left
Nothing but her soul
She was only fourteen or fifteen when she
Lost her virginity to a
Soul-sucking heathen who she refused
NOT to believe in.
And, she thought she wasn't worthy,
Deserved to be deserted,
There was my old friend
And then there was you
You were very sweet
And she was too
It was you I fell for though
And the other friend agreed
What made me happy
Was what I did need
My mind only wishes to be free,
From the death grip that is your memory.
Those eyes, burning with flames of my own desire.
That smile.
Those lips, so perfectly adjacent to the soft spot held by you in my heart.
Silence
My opinions are not the norm.
Silence
A break before the storm
Silence
A deep and navy blue
Silence
That question you ask, with who
Silence
I’m not going to cry
Silence
My tears are wasted on the opinions of the unknown. The cruelty they have shown. The harsh words they have spoken, have sent them on a ride of which I'm just a token. The gestures I make, and the words that flutter across my tongue.
Snap awake
I'm full of fear
Oh, its another nightmare
Can't escape
the staring faces
running races
I just can't win
can't win
EVERYDAY I LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND HATE WHAT I SEE
WHO I REALLY AM
IS LOST SOMEWHERE IN ME.
I’VE MADE MISTAKES
WHEN I DIDN’T LISTEN TO MY HEART
NOW EVERYTHING IMPORTANT
HAS QUICKLY FALLEN APART.
Kept a permanent division between her thighsand in the eyes of boys her body was a playground.Young men slid down her swirling slide,counting a game of tag on her outstretched arms
