Every time I think of our time as friends, I die inside.
I feel as though I just swallowed broken glass.
I want to curl up in a ball and cry forever.
Everytime I see you I think of my mistakes.
I want so desperately for you to just talk to me, but you never do.
My brain shuts down for a moment and my body hurts intensely.
I'd rather get the shit beat out of me.
I'd rather be damned to eternal physical torment.
And for a moment, I'd actually rather be dead.
But I continue, for that small chance of our new friendship.