Every time I think of our time as friends, I die inside.

I feel as though I just swallowed broken glass.

I want to curl up in a ball and cry forever.

Everytime I see you I think of my mistakes.

I want so desperately for you to just talk to me, but you never do.

My brain shuts down for a moment and my body hurts intensely.

I'd rather get the shit beat out of me.

I'd rather be damned to eternal physical torment.

And for a moment, I'd actually rather be dead.

But I continue, for that small chance of our new friendship.